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Post by myboysnme on Jul 19, 2018 15:08:51 GMT
I ate my way while sitting on my butt from a young adult weight of 115 to 100+ pounds greater as I enter my 60's. I calculated I felt best when I was about 130, and I have gained about 3 pounds a year compounded. 3 pounds is easily manageable, 100 pounds is not.
I am in the end process of scheduling gastric bypass. My goal is to get to 130. That is where I should be. I did this to me. Now I must take drastic measures to fix it.
I am speaking ONLY for me. Everyone's journey is their own. I do miss wearing cute clothes, but I mostly miss feeling good in my clothes. My size 18 pants are too tight in the waist. My feet are bigger. I am generally uncomfortable all the time.
However the so called normalization of being larger is a good theory, but does not carry any weight (pun intended) with my reality.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jul 19, 2018 15:14:31 GMT
I don't fucking OWE anyone to look any way they'd prefer I look. Fuck them. If I want to kill myself with food, that's my RIGHT. If someone doesn't like how I look, they probably should stop looking at me.
I have chosen not to live my life like that, but I don't EXPECT anyone to meet my standards. We are all beautiful. People are more than their pant size. Doesn't everyone have a right to feel good about themselves in something that looks beautiful to them? ffs.
OP: I disagree that it's a calories in calories out thing. Read The Obesity Code - we talk a lot about it here.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 19, 2018 15:18:30 GMT
I say this gently: I hope you are receiving psychological treatment for your eating disorder. Your thoughts on bodies and wellness are still disordered. Rather than focus on health, you focus on appearance.
My husband and I were in Europe a couple of years ago, and we found ourselves on a clothing optional beach in Greece. It was really interesting. There were bodies of all sizes and types in different states of dress.
Older, saggy, overweight people and young, fit, outwardly perfect people. And no one seemed to give a damn either way. No one ogled the traditionally beautiful people, and no one shamed the imperfect people.
It was like all of these bodies had the right to exist and enjoy the sun together.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Jul 19, 2018 15:19:56 GMT
This is pretty much the stupidest hypothesis on why society is getting heavier that I have ever seen.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Jul 19, 2018 15:21:29 GMT
These discussions always make me mad and upset. MY body type is none of anyone else’s damn business or concern. I get fat shamed my whole life for being tall and overweight.
Yet my short friends, who are about the same percentage of being overweight aren’t fat shamed, because they’re short.
My coworker is 4’11” and could lose weight...but she’s short and no one notices or cares. I am 5’8”, so 9 inches taller, and get made fun of. We have proportionally the same amount of weight to lose.
Why is this judgment fair?!
I’ve always been on the bubble of what is of “normal” sizing and “plus” sizes. Because of my body shape, bone structure, muscular build. Heck, my shoe size is a 10-1/2 wide. I can’t even wear normal women’s bracelets because my wrists are too big!
At my smallest weight 4 years ago, I looked great. But it was HARD to maintain for my body. I’ve been creeping up the last couple of years, and I know exactly why...life has been stressful and my cope is convenient foods. I’m hoping to change this, life is calmer and hopefully on the upbeat now. I won’t be back to the size 4 years ago...i know this, am okay.
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Post by gar on Jul 19, 2018 15:21:46 GMT
I agree with that. The article was not well written, and I felt that it was difficult to tell exactly what her main point was. The article's pure click-bait. It was in the Daily Mail...end of story.
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pyccku
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,817
Jun 27, 2014 23:12:07 GMT
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Post by pyccku on Jul 19, 2018 15:24:30 GMT
Nobody gains weight because they love the cute thing they saw in the Lane Bryant window. Fat people need to wear clothes - and why shouldn't they have options that flatter their particular bodies?
I personally am tall. I think it's shameful to be short. If you're short, you shouldn't have the option to wear the same attractive clothing that tall people wear. You should go back and shop in the children's section. If you don't like it, maybe you should look into getting some sort of platform shoes to add a few inches of height so you can wear normal clothing like a normal person.
Nobody would say that - and yet fat people can get that treatment because 'they can change it if they don't like it.' Sure, they can change it - but it can take a long time to lose weight if you have a sizeable amount to lose. What should they do in the meantime? Just wear a circus tent, or hide under a muu-muu? Stay at home so nobody has to see your unsightly flab in polite society?
Some fat people want to be thin, and will work towards that goal. Some are happy the way they are. Some are fat because of medical issues, some because they eat too much. No matter what the reason, and whether or not they are working to change it, they all should be able to find clothing that fits and looks nice.
Additionally, it comes down to capitalism. Fat people have money too. They probably have more money to spend on clothing since they aren't spending it on fun things like going out with friends or having nice vacations - you know, because they're fat and gross and nobody wants to be with them. Then again, they're probably spending all of their money on food so maybe they have no disposable income. Sarcasm aside, the average size of the American woman isn't a 10. There are a lot of larger people in the US and all of them need clothing at some point. There is money to be made if you sell well-made, attractive clothing in larger sizes. Some stores choose not to sell to that market, but more and more are realizing that there is profit potential.
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hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,166
Jul 6, 2016 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by hutchfan on Jul 19, 2018 15:26:57 GMT
I am flabbergasted at that article and the nonsense stated. I was the skinny girl all of my life I graduated weighing 100 pounds. Then age 40 started gaining a lot of weight within months I ate no different than I always had. I was finally diagnosed with bad thyroid, so yes medical did play a role in my weight. I am overweight now and I was ashamed for a long time, but have accepted the new me and I am going to be honest I don't care what other people think about me. I care what I think about me and I have a great life to live!
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 19, 2018 15:33:40 GMT
Fat girl here watching this thread.. I really have no comment except freebird said it all for me.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 19, 2018 15:42:07 GMT
Fat girl here watching this thread.. I really have no comment except freebird said it all for me. Hope there’s extra butter in that popcorn for all us fat chicks. Mumus make me fat. No tight waistband to remind me to slow my roll on the eating.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 19, 2018 15:43:29 GMT
Fat girl here watching this thread.. I really have no comment except freebird said it all for me. Hope there’s extra butter in that popcorn for all us fat chicks. Mumus make me fat. No tight waistband to remind me to slow my roll on the eating. Roll. Butter. Yum.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jul 19, 2018 15:49:08 GMT
OP: I am sorry to say that I hope you are continuing your therapy because you seem to have a lot of internalized shame and anger previously directed at yourself that you are now directing at others.
Their bodies are none of your business. Period.
As for me and my weight journey, I have shared previously that I was always thin, even after having children. Then I hit menopause and the weight piled on. Nothing I did made the scale change. Nothing. After I showed my new doctor my food diary, she suggested that I should get more exercise... she dropped that prong of attack when I told her at my job I am on my feet 8 hours a day and currently average 40K steps/day. (Not including the lifting and moving I do.) She then said, "Wow. Um... With that level of exercise and your food intake, you should weight at most 130 pounds." Yeah. That. But I don't. All of my tests come back normal. So there is truly nothing I can apparently do.
Except live with your condemnation of my fatness. Thanks. You're great.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 19, 2018 15:59:59 GMT
Nope! I have been wearing “fat” clothes all my life, even when I was 100 pounds. I can not stand waistbands, or button shirts. I can’t wear a tight bra or underwire. And I wear bigger undies so nothing is tight. I would die if I had to wear a thong undie. The trend with the silky clingy tops is driving me to anger. Same here. I hate wearing anything tight, always have. Even when I was 115 lbs dripping wet. And this 👇 Oh and for the record, I detest vanity sizing! Actually what I detest is non-standard sizing. It just makes it a pita to shop. And that's as much of a problem in non-plus sized clothing if not more so - I always have to guess what size to grab when trying something on and usually grab 2 or three sizes as you just never know. I really don’t give a crap what the “number” is, I just want the sizes to be uniform based on measurement, the way it is for men’s clothes. It shouldn’t be that difficult. My DH can go into any store that sells clothes, find his size, buy it and know it will fit when he gets home. He never has to try anything on. It’s a long shopping trip for him if it takes more than 20 minutes. I wish I could be that lucky. I want to be able to quickly flip through the stuff on the rack in the store and buy it knowing it’s going to freaking FIT without having to try on every.single.stinking.thing. I own clothes that range from size 8 to size 14 that I can wear. How stupid is that? Even with the same brand, same STYLE even, there are items that fit me in one color that are a 10 but if I want a different color I have to buy a 12 or 14 because they fit different. It makes shopping for clothes an arduous, horrible chore when you have to guess, and then second guess, and then still have to try on everything to see how it looks and feels before you feel comfortable buying it. And that’s just annoying no matter what size a person is. I don’t think anyone here is saying only thin people should have nice fitting, good looking clothes. I don’t know if vanity sizing contributes to “normalizing obesity” or not but it definitely makes shopping for women’s clothes a PITA. As an aside, my sister recently ordered a sweatshirt as a gift for me from Amazon. Because it said right in the reviews that the particular thing ran small, I looked at the sizing chart to make sure she ordered the correct size. I like them loose so I can layer another shirt underneath, so I told her to buy an XXL based on the measurements listed. The thing came and I could wear it, but OMG the shoulders, neck hole and sleeves were soooo tight! Honestly the thing fit more like a medium than an XXL. It’s insane. I seriously felt like a sausage when I had it on. And FTR, that thin flimsy weird material it was made out of was definitely NOT sweatshirt fleece either, but that’s another rant entirely.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 19, 2018 16:12:19 GMT
I had this discussion with my daughter a couple of days ago. I told her that I did not think nice clothes and body positive messages make people fatter.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 6, 2024 7:02:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 16:31:39 GMT
I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. I lost all my extra weight years ago and couldn’t help but notice the comments that people made, “you’re starting to look really good”...was i that bad looking before? And ftr I am tall, big boned and carried my weight well.
People don’t even realize what plus sized people deal with. On one had they tell us that we need to love ourselves, pretty much any expert will tell you that you start by loving yourself. But in the same breath we’re constantly reminded how disgusting we are, we’re a burden to our health care system. We’re lazy, we’re not willing to try. I hate shopping in the plus size section, it’s the walk of shame having to go to your own special section in a department store. And then you have to sift through the entire section hoping you’ll find at least one shirt that looks like you’ve would have found it in the regular section because most plus size clothing is ridiculous.
Ive heard it said that sugar is as addictive (if not more) as cocaine. It’s not easy. I was on keto and IF last year and I was doing great. Then I started a stressful job and I reverted back to what’s comforting. I weigh well over 200lbs right now.
My personality hasn’t changed, whether I’m big or small, I am who I am. So it always catches me off guard when I realize someone is treating me differently based on my size. A few years ago I was at the pool with our kids. I hadn’t bothered to shower before I went through because I normally just sit on the side. I was told I needed to go shower. So I did. A few minutes later two slim women come from the dressing room into the same area I am and it’s obvious they didn’t shower either. the same staff looks at them and doesn’t say a word. Isn’t that lovely. I shower 1-2x a day but I’m overweight so therefore I must be disgusting.
Or how my FIL pointed to our wedding photos and commented how he can just see how proud his son was to marry me, and as we age I get older and fatter. So apparently my DH’s love for me was based on my looks according to the ass of a FIL that I have.
Sorry this post is really rubbing me the wrong way. It reminds me of the saying I saw a while ago, is fat really the worst thing you can be? Is it worse than being a cheater, liar, murderer, catty, vile, spiteful, etc.
The world says love yourself enough to take care of yourself. That same world says you don’t deserve to be treated with respect or look good in your clothes because you’re a lazy disgusting human being. But hey, don’t forget to love yourself. 😤
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 19, 2018 16:52:56 GMT
I lost all my extra weight years ago and couldn’t help but notice the comments that people made, “you’re starting to look really good”...was i that bad looking before? I lost 80 lbs at one point in my life. I admit, that it bothered me a little depending on what I knew of the person when I got complimented. Some people, it did feel like a slap.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 19, 2018 17:09:07 GMT
Ok fine, no plus sizes. Don’t make em, don’t sell em. I’ll go naked until I hit the expected goal weight. No problem. 😉😜 Remember when y’all see my fat butt wandering the streets that y’all asked for it.
Joking aside, it’s food and how we produce it that ads to our problems, in addition to more sedentary forms of occupation.
I think in the US we have bred the nutrients out of our food in exchange for linger shelf life. That adds to the toll out bodies take. Our bodies seek nutrients that aren’t really there anymore.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 6, 2024 7:02:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 17:12:32 GMT
I thought that the author was making a point about vanity sizing. It is a good point, I think. Maybe I need more coffee, but I didn’t see where she was talking about making ugly plus size clothes. As the author made several comments about "flattering" clothing for plus sized women, it was implied that it was part of the problem in the context of the article. It's difficult for someone outside the UK to get what she is referring to unfortunately. I'll try and explain. Except for Evans and JD Taylor the other's, in the past, have never catered for anything much over a size 14 ( UK size) which I think, i'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, is a size 12 in the US. The main reason for this at the time was, that was the most popular to buy and also the average size for a woman in the UK. Some time ago there was a backlash on this as it limited the choice for anyone over size 14 unless they wanted to spend ££££ for an outfit. Evans & JD Taylor are plus size or curves as they are called now, stores. They don't sell smaller size clothes and never have done. They are more suitable for 35/40 year old women though. I can see what the article was about. But I don't see it in the same way as many of you have done so. That is because of the benefit of knowing what has been going on in the past. To me, what the article was getting at was, " does it make us ( generally) accept that it's OK for the majority of the population to think that it is now the norm that the most popular size in the UK has gone up to a size 16 rather than what used to be a size 14. Health wise is that acceptable for a large percentage of the population to go up two dress sizes? If we accept this then where will it eventually end. How long will it be when we generally accept that a size 18/20 will be acceptable and not give it a second thought. Of course there are different reasons for some to have a problem with their weight, there always will be but when you start hearing that it's becoming a general trend for people to be increasing in weight then I think it's prudent to ask why. The trend is more prevalent in the under 30's women rather than the older women IMO. Is it because the stores that, in the past haven't catered for the bigger sizes and now do so? Is it because we can still get into a size 14 dress but we're actually really a size 16 but the manufacturing are now using a more flattering table for sizing? Is it because we eat more ? Is it because we don't eat as healthily as we did 10 years ago? Is it because we don't exercise.? And the main gist of that article IMO is " do women kid themselves that because of the acceptance of the higher average size and the change in manufacturing sizing that we're in denial of putting on weight. Generally I think we are. If we've always bought a size 14 dress and we are still buying a size 14 without taking into consideration the change in sizing then we are putting on weight, or we say to ourselves - Oh no, I don't have a problem with my weight because everyone else is a size 14 too when in fact you would have been a size 16 a couple of years ago. It's only a small part of the equation in saying that women are now able to buy more flattering clothes because they can now say they got their clothes from H & M or River Island in a size 14 which cater for a much younger woman that Evans and JD Taylor.
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 19, 2018 17:27:04 GMT
No, having nice clothes that actually fit does not encourage us to get fatter.
What a bunch of horseshit.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 19, 2018 17:55:26 GMT
"More than half the men we studied, 57.9 per cent, believe they are a healthy weight when, in fact, they are overweight. This figure is up by almost 10 per cent from 48.4 per cent in 1997."
"The figure for women who believed they were a healthy weight but who were actually overweight has also increased from 24.5 per cent to 30.6 per cent."
hmmm... I don't know why the article is aimed at women when more MEN think they're healthy but are really overweight than women. I don't think there's anything wrong with finally making 'cute' or 'fashionable' clothing for larger women rather than just the ugly-patterned, garishly-colored tents that used to be available. I really don't have any idea whether the sizes in my clothes are 'vanity' sized, or not. What I DO know is that it's practically impossible to easily shop across brands, because every brand measures them differently and calls similar actual-sized clothing VASTLY different numbers. What WOULD help, I think, is standardizing women's clothing sizes more like men's are. (but then again, apparently men are blind to how overweight they actually are, even WITH more standardized sizes, so... lol.)
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 7,958
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Jul 19, 2018 18:02:30 GMT
"I hold my body with higher esteem than your opinion. It has done far more for me than you have." L.E. Bowman
Give bodyposipanda a look on IG, if you have time.
Nobody should have to apologize for their body or what they want to wear. It's their choice and none of your freaking business. Nobody should have to hide in a tent because they're not your idea of perfection. As I showed my 6 and 8 year old daughters, a lot of the people telling me that I should lose weight, are old white men who make BILLIONS off the beauty/diet industry. Who the eff are you to tell me what I should/shouldn't look like? Seriously.
If you really want to see some fat shaming / issues / extreme feminism, check out "Dietland". She's a fat girl who is saving up for her gastric bypass to make her into her "ideal" self, until she's not.
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 7,958
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Jul 19, 2018 18:04:13 GMT
hmmm... I don't know why the article is aimed at women when more MEN think they're healthy but are really overweight than women. For the same reason that women have 762,235,413 products available for them to not age, but men have a shampoo/conditioner/body wash in one.
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Post by alsomsknit on Jul 19, 2018 18:06:14 GMT
Medical issue is bull, huh?
Try taking Lyrica and Depo Provera and see what happens.
Lucky me, I also have gastroparesis. Mobility of digestion slows. Can’t eat meat because I can not digest it in a timely manner. Ate scrambled eggs and tomato soup for 4 months during a particularly problematic time with my stomach. Guess what I lost? .2 pounds. Not two pounds. Point 2 pounds.
I have to choose between tremendous pain or actually having the chance at half a life by taking those meds and the resulting weight gain. It SUCKS!!!
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Post by melanell on Jul 19, 2018 18:14:54 GMT
To me, the article is one of countless others on the internet these days....."any old content will do" with the all-important click-bait headline to get people to click into the site and nothing more.
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Post by papersilly on Jul 19, 2018 18:16:27 GMT
i don't know if they make you fatter but they certainly made me depressed about having to wear them. i will admit that clothes are more fun now at size 10/12 than they were at size 20. i think some "fat" clothes definitely fat shame.
vanity sizing makes me laugh. old navy is a huge culprit. even when i could wear their size 18, i still knew it was a 20. the 18 did not make me feel better in any way.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 19, 2018 18:24:08 GMT
(I do take great issue with the title - It should be 'Do plus size clothes make people fatter", ffs I can't believe THIS is what you take issue with. First, men don't have "plus size," they just have larger sizes. If they have a name, it is Big and Tall. Second, they don't typically change the style or print of clothing for the larger size, they just make the shirt xxl
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Post by melanell on Jul 19, 2018 18:28:45 GMT
I do think people get crap for being both underweight and overweight or "thin" and "fat". And it sucks in both directions. People need to mind their own damn business and stop making assumptions about people based on their size.
Petite or small women as well as plus size or tall women all need and deserve well-fitting clothes. Any of those groups can encounter hassles finding well-fitting, stylish clothing sometimes, and the more manufacturers do to try to eliminate those issues, the better, no matter if you're size 0 or size 32.
People can erroneously think that someone is unhealthy if their weight/size is above or below whatever size that individual deems "healthy" or "correct". Even the charts at the doctor's offices can be an issue for folks on both sides of the graph. I know someone who had a hard time getting life insurance because they are "underweight". They were "underweight" according to some arbitrary chart the insurance companies use to gauge health and that's bull. They were asked "Why can't you gain weight?" They were baffled and said "I probably could, but why should I try?".
And certainly plus-sized people can find that insurance looks down on being into the "overweight" category as well.
I know another who walked into a job interview and was told immediately that they weren't "right" for the job because it involved heavy lifting and the person was small. Mind you, if the interviewer had bothered to even look at the person's references, they would have seen that heavy-lifting was part of the person's current job, and that it wasn't a problem at all.
On the flip side, if a plus-sized person walked in, they would have likely made the same assumption about them.
As for the terms "thin" & "fat", they vary with every person. There are no standards for what those words mean. Everyone has their own idea. But no one should apologize for being or not being either one of them, and I can't help but feel like there was a bit of an apology hidden in the OP. In between words like "fit" and "proud" was still the line "I am still not thin." And to me that sounds like an apology or an expression indicating that something is lacking or a goal has not yet been met. If you're fit and healthy and proud, then it doesn't matter what size you are or if you meet anyone's definition of "thin" or "fat".
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 19, 2018 18:40:54 GMT
Even if the number on the label is the same as it was 25 years ago, doesn’t mean I’m somehow oblivious to the fact I weigh 40lbs more. Overweight and fat people know they are overweight and fat. If they are perfectly happy with that, that’s their business. You do you.
Stop throwing out the “I’m concerned about your health trope”. Bullshit, it’s just that fat is visible. People do stuff that's bad for their health everyday, but if they are average sized physically, nobody is wringing their hands about it. Getting old is fucking deadly and a drain on healthcare. Before you know it we’ll be living in Logan’s Run and offing people at 30 before they get too fat or old. It’s for their own good and the good of the taxpayers, ya know.
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Post by annabella on Jul 19, 2018 18:48:54 GMT
I saw someone post a rebuff to the idea of "normalization of obesity is a dangerous thing. All these people 'celebrating their curves'" and she said:
I do think large people should be able to buy pretty clothes and be celebrated on instagram. However I remember a long time ago I had put on weight I was a size 12 and my favorite store Ann Taylor only went up to a size 14 and I panicked thinking shit can't size out of this store! And I lost 40 lbs. Now Ann sells plus size clothing. So being a size 12 did reel me in, it tells me this is the limit to average size and I should not go over. Because I could get bigger and not notice, what I would notice is that I could no longer order from RenttheRunway. Those designer clothes, especially Kate Spade dresses, do not have vanity sizing. So the ability to shop at every small boutique online, cheap clothing stores from China, is what keeps my weight in check.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 19, 2018 19:04:48 GMT
The first the my son’s father says to me when he sees a photo of me is ‘gee, you’ve put on a ton of weight.’ I ask him how his non-existent English is. It starts a fight and both of us get hurt feelings. I was constantly fat-shamed in Japan but I have heard it is illegal to be fat there, too. Please tell me how sumo wrestlers are revered for their fatness. I am curious. (This is a source of anger for me).
BFF just got a pretty dress. This dress could be in size 4 or 24. It doesn’t matter because it looks perfect on her. I would have chosen it for myself as well. It’s about time designers have started making pretty clothes for *all girls*. I am sick and will vocalize I hate clothes that aren’t pretty for all of us.
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