mvavw
Full Member
Posts: 344
Jun 25, 2014 20:21:43 GMT
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Post by mvavw on Sept 25, 2018 18:30:08 GMT
Kids with learning disabilities can sometimes look unmotivated to an unpracticed eye, when in fact they may have trouble organizing themselves to work (executive function disorders, ADHD, emotional issues, etc.) This, especially since you said that your DS has been struggling with this coursework for some time.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Sept 25, 2018 18:55:59 GMT
Is being a teacher's assistant taking time away that could be used to bring up his grade in the subject he's failing? Could he use that time to get extra tutoring or go to one of those after-school tutoring places?
Telling your son that he can't be a teacher's assistant until his teacher feels that he has a good grasp on the subject might be the motivation he needs.
I personally would find an out of school tutor. Sometimes it takes another teacher to be able to explain the material in a way that the student can understand.
Maybe your son is one of those kids who is able to understand stuff quickly without needing to actually *study*. Now he's facing a subject he doesn't understand and doesn't know how to learn it. If he's taken the test 3 times and still can't pass, maybe he does need another teacher/tutor.
There are some online sources that help with math, etc. as well.
I almost failed algebra. Turned out that the teacher was the problem. He wasn't actually a math teacher. Then I went to another school. The math teacher there was able to explain it to me within a couple of sessions, and I understood so thoroughly that I was one of the few students who understood the difficult bonus points questions on tests.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,829
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Sept 25, 2018 20:31:37 GMT
The TA class is during a study hall for just this semester. The school doesn’t have tutoring or extra help available during the day.
What a contrast in days, though. The teacher he TAs for just called me to let me know what a blessing he has been to her this year. There is a ridiculous amount of construction at the high school and she has had to move classrooms. It rained in her classroom today and he did all he could to help out and make it better.
Honesty, him TAing for this class I think is the only thing keeping him engaged in school this year. First day of school he asked if he could drop out. He turns 18 on Saturday and has hinted about being an adult and making his own decisions. If the TA class is keeping him in school, I can live with a D+ in one class. For the rest of his classes he has an A+, A, B+, and two C+s.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,125
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Sept 25, 2018 20:42:20 GMT
i think teachers are people too.
i had an uncomfortable conversation with one of my MS's teachers who said, 3 times, at our conference that DS was "his own worst enemy". had i been alone, i would have let it pass. i had brought a friend with me, his tutor who has her masters in eduction. she shifted in her chair the first time when the teacher said it, the second time she said it, my friend was visibly uncomfortable... the third time it was said my friend let her have it with "i hope you are in no way implying that his LD is his FAULT, are you???". teacher was very defensive and said "it's just an expression" to which my friend replied "yes it is and it's a very negative one... do you speak to all your student's parents this way??".
i was *horrified* and thought "oh geez - that is not gonna help my relationship with this teacher (and no, it didn't. she called me two days later to say she felt attacked and requested any further dealings about DS be between her and i and that tutor was not welcome).
point is, teachers are human but should be professional and act as the trained educators they are supposed to be. with that being said, there are times when you have better relationships with parents and know that you can be a bit more forthcoming... but those should be the exception rather than the rule.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,936
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Sept 25, 2018 21:03:59 GMT
I haven't read all the responses yet, but here I go.
Teacher hat on: I wouldn't use those terms to describe a student to his parents. Not a professional choice in 2018 but certainly not unheard of and I don't think it would have been considered all that inappropriate 20 plus years ago-----------AND I think that men, especially men of a certain age, could completely get away with saying that while female teachers get called out on that kind of thing way too often. Not saying YOU would do this, but as a veteran teacher, I can say that male teachers (as long as they are not too nice or effeminate), can get away with saying a lot more than female teachers. Just something to think about. Also, the fact that you said that the teachers he/you like could get away with it, should have been a warning to you that maybe you could have handled it with a bit more grace. Like others have said, if a parent responded to me that way (whether legit, not legit or somewhere in between ---where I think you are), I would limit my communications with that parent in the future.
Parent hat: I would have been annoyed with her unprofessional word choice, but honestly, if my son fit that description in ways and I knew it, I wouldn't have been offended (certainly when talking about an almost adult...we aren't talking an elementary aged student here). I would have sent back a response that agreed but used better word choice. If it happened again and I still didn't like it, I might say something about how you don't use those terms and why but stayed friendly.
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Post by missmiss on Sept 25, 2018 21:09:56 GMT
As a teacher I have had numerous of students that have said they do not like the class. This is due to the subject material which is Geometry. I have had numerous of students that begin to show a lack of effort for a variety of reason. These students do not understand the material, they do not like the material, or they are just plain lazy.
From what the teacher said I would take it as the teacher feels your son can do the work but is not living up to his potential. Wording was off but the message is there.
Read the email to your son and see what he thinks. Ask him if this is a true interpretation of him in class.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,936
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Sept 25, 2018 21:12:00 GMT
Frankly, this individual isn't qualified to know that your son is "lazy" or "stupid," so that's the first problem I have with the email. The second is the actual terms. Kids with learning disabilities can sometimes look unmotivated to an unpracticed eye, when in fact they may have trouble organizing themselves to work (executive function disorders, ADHD, emotional issues, etc.) I'd consider it a red flag and keep an eye on things with this person. It may not be the last issue you have with her. (I hope I'm wrong.) But does he? He is a senior in high school without an IEP. Generally, if one of my students has made it that far without a diagnosis/assessment, that is on the parents or the student doesn't have those issues. Again, I wouldn't say those terms, but I certainly have had the "he doesn't apply himself/we KNOW she is smart" conversations ad infinitum. I rarely state it first because it sounds so trite coming out of my mouth over and over again. It is almost always the parents who say it first.
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Post by meridon on Sept 26, 2018 1:02:49 GMT
I'd call it poorly worded, not inappropriate, and move on. If your DS is a senior, he's probably heard this many times. Heck, my DS graduated with a 4.0+ and I occasionally would have a teacher emailing or calling about how DS isn't working up to his full potential. Same meaning, but using PC words instead. This. As a teacher, I've sent many an email about a student I thought was "capable of doing the work" AKA not stupid who was "struggling to meet deadlines and turn work in in a timely manner" AKA lazy.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Sept 26, 2018 2:13:38 GMT
I think you need to focus less on the teacher and more on your son. You basically said he is lazy, too, sometimes.
Your son is a senior. Not a small child. I think the teacher could have been gentler, but seriously. Would you rather she say nothing and let your son fail?
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