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Post by bc2ca on Sept 25, 2018 22:02:09 GMT
DH and I were asked to write a blind letter of support for a friend many years ago. We knew she was being charged with something, but had no idea what. DH had known her 20ish years at the time, I'd known her 4. We did write individual letters.
Would you? Have you?
The poll is set up for you to give 2 answers.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Sept 25, 2018 22:03:48 GMT
I think I would have to know the charge and her side of the story to feel comfortable writing that letter.
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 6:42:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2018 22:05:25 GMT
I've never written one and whether I would depends on the nature of the crime and that person's role in that crime.
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Post by peano on Sept 25, 2018 22:06:16 GMT
What does blind letter mean?
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
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Post by mimima on Sept 25, 2018 22:08:20 GMT
I've written statement letters for custody cases, but never one as you describe.
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used2scrap
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Post by used2scrap on Sept 25, 2018 22:09:03 GMT
I think I only would if someone was pleading guilty and taking responsibility, or I had seen the crime committed with my own eyes and knew they weren’t guilty. I couldn’t just take some ones word for it and throw in my support, there are far too many people who seem good but lead double lives. I don’t think I can truly know another’s heart.
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Post by dewryce on Sept 25, 2018 22:10:44 GMT
I think I would have to know the charge and her side of the story to feel comfortable writing that letter. This is how I feel about almost everyone. There are 2 people that I can think of that I would feel 100% confident writing the letter for, absolutely no questions asked. Of course, with these people I wouldn't need to ask questions because I would have been involved from the beginning. No to the form letter, no matter the person. If I know them well enough to provide a true, strong character reference that I would be proud to sign my sign to a form letter just wouldn't cut it. |
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 25, 2018 22:13:12 GMT
What does blind letter mean? You are writing a letter without knowing why they need it/blind to the charges. |
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Post by katlaw on Sept 25, 2018 22:19:17 GMT
It would depend on the situation. Just a general letter of support might help someone out without putting yourself in a situation you are uncomfortable with.
For example:
Someone I work with is charged with a crime. Without knowing what they were charged with I could write a letter saying they were a reliable worker, always on time, I knew them to be the main breadwinner in their family - that sort of reference letter.
Or a personal contact, without addressing the actual crime I may write a letter stating I knew that person as a friend or attended school with them perhaps. And to my knowledge they were honest, kind, helpful, whatever I felt about them.
I would never offer anything I did not believe to be true always making it clear that is only my perception of them.
You can look at what is going on with Brett Kavanaugh right now. If you were a neighbour of his and had never seen anything but a guy who went to work, mowed his lawn, played outside with his kids, you could write a letter saying just that and nothing more. Not saying you know he would never have assaulted someone, because you really don't know that. Just a general letter of support.
Or Brock Turner. I am sure there is someone who can write a letter saying what a good guy he is because that is all they ever saw.
It would really all depend on how much I knew and trusted the person asking me.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 25, 2018 22:22:43 GMT
I said no to both, because I think I would need to know what they were being charged with first.
I was asked to testify as a character witness for the son of friends once, but the defense attorney interviewed me and didn’t use me in the end. I was only willing to testify to the young man’s character as a child/young teen (he was in his early 20s at the time) because I hadn’t had any contact with him since then.
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azredhead
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Post by azredhead on Sept 25, 2018 22:31:55 GMT
It would depend on how well we know the person and the nature/severity of the crime. If it was personal anyting but formal.
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scrappyesq
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Post by scrappyesq on Sept 25, 2018 22:37:11 GMT
No. I don't want to be involved with anything criminal. No matter how well I know you if you're involved with something illegal that put you in circumstances where people have to write letters leave me out of it.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 25, 2018 22:40:47 GMT
No. I've known several people in real life who were guilty of horrific crimes (including a murder) that I would never have imagined they were capable of committing. I think we often underestimate people's potential for evil and just how good manipulator/liars are at their craft.
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rickmer
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Post by rickmer on Sept 25, 2018 22:54:24 GMT
no, i have had two friends who wrote letters in support for their friend (two separate incidences) and i truthfully, i try very hard not to judge but i was disgusted by both of them.
one was a friend's oldest girlfriend and her boyfriend was accused of rape (while we are all at her baby shower), he got drunk, got with some girl in a back lane and as cops pulled up she (supposedly) cried rape. not sure of the validity but regardless, why you gonna defend a dirtbag who at the very least was cheating on his *very* pregnant girlfriend?? oh and he already had two domestic abuse charges from ex-gf so really "needed" the letter.
other one was a friend's brother, friends testified he was with them when he had been accused of assaulting a gay man. charge were dropped. he did assault the gay man and they all knew.
so if i did not know what the charges were, i couldn't do it.
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Post by mom on Sept 25, 2018 23:17:22 GMT
I probably would not because I would need to know what they were being charged with.
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Post by busy on Sept 25, 2018 23:21:27 GMT
I wouldn't. My dad committed crimes that I had no idea about and never in a million years would have guessed he was capable of. And given what the crimes were, I would not have wanted to give even the tiniest bit of support to his side.
No matter how well you know someone, you may not know them at all. I'd not want to be involved in something like that.
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inkedup
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Post by inkedup on Sept 25, 2018 23:27:06 GMT
Years ago, a good friend made some bad choices that she served prison time for. She asked me to submit a character letter. I did, because she was genuinely remorseful and a generally good person who self medicated and made bad choices. Also, the crime she was charged with was not violent. No one was hurt. I would not have done it had the crime been violent.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 25, 2018 23:31:45 GMT
No. If you've committed a crime then you must pay for it. I won't help you get out of it.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Sept 25, 2018 23:38:36 GMT
Never.
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Post by Linda on Sept 25, 2018 23:39:41 GMT
no - I don't think that's something I would be comfortable with. A job reference, sure, but a character reference for a criminal case, no
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Post by mom on Sept 25, 2018 23:42:05 GMT
DH and I were asked to write a blind letter of support for a friend many years ago. We knew she was being charged with something, but had no idea what. DH had known her 20ish years at the time, I'd known her 4. We did write individual letters. Would you? Have you? The poll is set up for you to give 2 answers. So did you ever figure out what the charges were? Was she found guilty? |
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 25, 2018 23:54:23 GMT
DH and I were asked to write a blind letter of support for a friend many years ago. We knew she was being charged with something, but had no idea what. DH had known her 20ish years at the time, I'd known her 4. We did write individual letters. Would you? Have you? The poll is set up for you to give 2 answers. So did you ever figure out what the charges were? Was she found guilty? Yes, she embezzled money from her employer. She pled guilty and was sentenced to probation, community service and repayment of the monies. |
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Post by librarylady on Sept 25, 2018 23:54:56 GMT
Years ago, my sister asked me to write one for her husband. I foolishly did. Then I learned the truth. I wrote back to the judge and told him I rescinded the first letter as I had now learned the truth. I did not want any leniency and urged the judge to give the maximum years possible.---------A few years later, a relative asked the court for papers about the case. Relative told me that in addition to the documents he/she got a copy of my letter. (If you are curious, that sister still has a good relationship with me. She knows I was saying what should have been said.)
If asked by anyone again--I'd just say no.
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Post by mom on Sept 26, 2018 0:04:54 GMT
Years ago, my sister asked me to write one for her husband. I foolishly did. Then I learned the truth. I wrote back to the judge and told him I rescinded the first letter as I had now learned the truth. I did not want any leniency and urged the judge to give the maximum years possible.---------A few years later, a relative asked the court for papers about the case. Relative told me that in addition to the documents he/she got a copy of my letter. (If you are curious, that sister still has a good relationship with me. She knows I was saying what should have been said.) If asked by anyone again--I'd just say no. Oh wow. I assumed that whatever letters were submitted would be held in confidence. Not sure why I thought this, but wow. Good to know. |
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Post by cawoman on Sept 26, 2018 0:25:44 GMT
No, I don’t think I would.
About 10 years ago I met someone at our LSS. We became friends to the extent we would take walks together and I went to her birthday dinner.
A couple months later, I was told that she had participated in a horrific crime in the 70’s. She wasn’t in prison because she had made a plea deal in exchange for testifying against her husband. I did my own due diligence because I was so shocked. Everything I had been told was true. I left her a vm and told her I couldn’t maintain a friendship with her and not to contact me. I think that had happened often in her life.
Edit: I meant to say that this experience made me feel like you don’t really know what people might do unless it’s a very long time friend. That’s my thought anyway.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 26, 2018 0:28:27 GMT
It depends on how well I knew the person.
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Post by pierkiss on Sept 26, 2018 0:54:22 GMT
I would want to know what the charges were for. Even then, I am probably not going to defend you from possible charges if you are not my spouse, child, or best friend in the whole universe. I am really not going to do it if we were close 20 years ago but are not close now.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Sept 26, 2018 2:58:41 GMT
When my DD was going through legal trouble, many people wrote letters to the judge to support her. These people knew what she was charged with and believed in her. They had all seen a separate side to her and felt that what she was going through was unfair. We appreciated every letter. So yeah, if I thought highly enough of someone who needed my support I could write a letter.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2018 3:46:17 GMT
I voted other because I could not do a form or personal letter without knowing what the charge is.
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Post by librarylady on Sept 26, 2018 13:16:26 GMT
Years ago, my sister asked me to write one for her husband. I foolishly did. Then I learned the truth. I wrote back to the judge and told him I rescinded the first letter as I had now learned the truth. I did not want any leniency and urged the judge to give the maximum years possible.---------A few years later, a relative asked the court for papers about the case. Relative told me that in addition to the documents he/she got a copy of my letter. (If you are curious, that sister still has a good relationship with me. She knows I was saying what should have been said.) If asked by anyone again--I'd just say no. Oh wow. I assumed that whatever letters were submitted would be held in confidence. Not sure why I thought this, but wow. Good to know. I had no idea the letter would be part of the public record and was taken aback when I learned it was. OTOH, perhaps it is right that both sides knew what the family/others were thinking. I admit, it I had known it was going to be public, that might have stopped me writing anything.
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