casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,474
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Nov 11, 2018 17:48:13 GMT
I have a motivational sign in my kitchen. It says "The liquor store should have a rewards program."
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Nov 11, 2018 17:59:34 GMT
Someone who preaches to other women that they should value and love themselves then turns out to have married an abusive arsehole isn't someone I'm likely to take advice from. did I miss that part in the article?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 22:49:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2018 18:15:43 GMT
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Post by Merge on Nov 11, 2018 18:57:42 GMT
I don’t have any quotes up (though I have nothing against them if you like them) I also don’t follow social media influencers or any bloggers (well except one)... BUT I do have Allison from gypo on my Facebook feed somehow so I’ve seen some of her videos and ‘coffee chats’ and I admit they really bug me. I listen to them for a few minutes and she basically isn’t saying anything - and she will tell a little tidbit about her dog then start laughing but it wasn’t even funny lol. Or she did one that was called like ‘no make up’ or something but her face is so Botoxed she can’t even move her forehead! Basically I like reading the posts by Mighty Girls or Humans of New York so much more - they actually say something Yeah I don’t watch any of her FB live events. Just not my thing.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 11, 2018 19:43:18 GMT
Probably stepping in shit here...but here goes...
I think I spent my twenties trying to fit my square peg self in a round hole. My ex and I were middle class, maybe even upper middle class. My house was perfect. My kids were adorable. My scrapbooks were completely on trend. My life looked just about as perfect as it could be. But nobody knew the secret unhappiness that was going on inside the walls of my home.
In 2009, I lost everything. Everything. My house, my car, I had to move. My ex was such a damn mess, I couldn't pretty up my life anymore. I had to embrace was it actually was and try to make lemonade.
And I dumped him. And I was poor. And I absolutely learned to embrace myself. Just as I sold off all my carefully "curated" Christmas ornaments from my variety of gorgeous themed trees, I kept what was important and the things I connected to. My memories. And I really learned that I like who I am. And I like the life I have built now. And while I might see something out there in the world that resonates with me, I just am really happy marching to the beat of my own drum.
I have a phrase in my kitchen. It says, let there be songs to fill the air. It is a favorite line from my favorite Grateful Dead song. My mother stopped by while was painting my kitchen and made the very snide comment, why on Earth would you choose orange? And I just looked at her and told her orange makes me happy. And that's the problem sometimes with this kind of transition. The people around you want to put you in a box. They want you to follow the plan, the trend, the stream of others like these influencers because it makes them feel better about their own choices.
If you don't have strong feelings about something, find inspiration wherever you can. I'm alright with that. But don't try to fit yourself into a cookie cutter mold. Because you are good enough, just as you are. And that's my biggest problem with these kinds of things is that they act like they are inspiring, but what many people are internalizing is they aren't good enough on their own. And no one should feel bad about who they are. Living up to an artificial expectation isn't living.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Nov 11, 2018 20:27:24 GMT
Oh, it's in the book? I haven't read/don't plan on reading the book, just wondering where that came from!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 22:49:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2018 20:31:25 GMT
Oh, it's in the book? I haven't read/don't plan on reading the book, just wondering where that came from! A lot of the reviews of the book mention how she bangs on about finding a great guy, one that treats you well etc then it turns out her husband was incredibly emotionally abusive when they were dating, then she claims that they were best friends from the get go. I think she's fallen for her own lies and delusions.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Nov 11, 2018 20:32:21 GMT
Thanks for sharing the article. It was really interesting. I hadn’t heard of her before but had seen her book cover in passing. I’m still not any clearer on why she wants us to wash our faces, though.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,649
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Nov 11, 2018 20:46:47 GMT
Although I follow several on Instagram, I am sick to death of all influencers and their shtick as well as the fact that they are called influencers. 😜
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 11, 2018 20:59:17 GMT
Oh, it's in the book? I haven't read/don't plan on reading the book, just wondering where that came from! A lot of the reviews of the book mention how she bangs on about finding a great guy, one that treats you well etc then it turns out her husband was incredibly emotionally abusive when they were dating, then she claims that they were best friends from the get go. I think she's fallen for her own lies and delusions. That's just all manner of wrong. Because inspiring is those people who have overcome adversity, not those who pretend like everything is so perfect they have no idea the real life struggles of those around them. It just screams fake, fake, fake to me. Then again, I subscribe to the theory that life is messy and I prefer to surround myself with those who are flawed and have no trouble sharing their vulnerabilities. JMHO
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Post by padresfan619 on Nov 11, 2018 21:04:28 GMT
Don’t compare your hustle to their highlight reel.
That’s the quote I live by, everyone has a carefully curated social media feed, most people don’t include the struggles.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 11, 2018 21:31:02 GMT
Don’t compare your hustle to their highlight reel. That’s the quote I live by, everyone has a carefully curated social media feed, most people don’t include the struggles. I have a male friend who is an English teacher. He writes the family Christmas card and it is hysterical. While he'll tell you that his girls are in college, he always includes the stories that no one else would post about the girls, the toilet backups, and the vehicle breakdowns they have while traveling. His pets secretly hate him. His is my favorite Christmas letter to read and probably the only one that I don't just scan.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 11, 2018 21:43:51 GMT
Ugh! This is why I follow arts and crafty things on instagram, not "influencers". That word along with cultivate and curate are on the list of words I hate. I have a friend who gets into these things all the time. I got a message this morning saying she was thinking of me and my family, wondering how I was doing; except I know she's now in some kind of mentor MLM thing. She just got back from some national conference.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
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Post by Mystie on Nov 11, 2018 23:28:51 GMT
There are several things that rub me the wrong way about Rachel Hollis, but I'm willing to admit that most of them are my own personal peeves. What I find hard to excuse in her, however, is the way she's sold her soul to the MLM industry. Just in the past few months she's spoken at conferences for Rodan and Fields, Lularoe, and several others. Paparazzi convention is upcoming. Her spiel feeds right into the manipulation and mind control the CEOs of these direct sales companies exercise over their consultants/retailers.
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ModChick
Drama Llama
True North Strong and Free
Posts: 5,062
Jun 26, 2014 23:57:06 GMT
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Post by ModChick on Nov 11, 2018 23:32:51 GMT
I’ve never heard of her, though I don’t follow too many “influencers”. I have no sayings on my walls or stuff that’s instagram trendy that I know of. But when I do go to someone’s home with those sorts of things I don’t judge, or actually notice honestly. I guess I just don’t know too many that have been influenced by influencers.
Oh I’ve just thought of one I do follow. I follow Jillian Harris, primarily because she lives near me (and I loved her on bachelor) but I also enjoy her posts. I can say I don’t have anything she endorses in my house (mainly too pricey, lol) though I did buy her infuser but promptly returned it once I read how essential oils are very toxic for cats.
I have a ton of things I consider “pea paraphernalia” instant pot, kitchen aid mixer, little steamer, hmmm what else have a purchased because of the peas.... lol. I’d say the peas influence me way more than any social media influencers I guess because we are real, which I guess is the OPs point. These influencers try so hard to be relatable by staging imperfect Instagram posts and such. I’m just not young enough to be influenced by that maybe?? Lol.
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Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2018 0:10:57 GMT
It ain't that serious. Who cares?
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Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2018 0:16:45 GMT
Don’t compare your hustle to their highlight reel. That’s the quote I live by, everyone has a carefully curated social media feed, most people don’t include the struggles. Exactly! Do you really want to see pics of my messy house or my aching feet after I get off work or a stack of bills or follow me to the doctor's office, or would you rather see the nature hike I went on and the sunset I saw on the way home and the autumn leaves in my yard? Of course I'm sharing the good stuff. I like my corner of the internet to be largely positive. Is there some reason we need to worry about what "influencers" are posting? They bore me just about as much as the articles denouncing them. But I don't spend time comparing my life to that of others on the internet. Everyone has something they're dealing with.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Nov 12, 2018 0:44:00 GMT
Don’t compare your hustle to their highlight reel. That’s the quote I live by, everyone has a carefully curated social media feed, most people don’t include the struggles. Exactly! Do you really want to see pics of my messy house or my aching feet after I get off work or a stack of bills or follow me to the doctor's office, or would you rather see the nature hike I went on and the sunset I saw on the way home and the autumn leaves in my yard? Of course I'm sharing the good stuff. I like my corner of the internet to be largely positive. Is there some reason we need to worry about what "influencers" are posting? They bore me just about as much as the articles denouncing them. But I don't spend time comparing my life to that of others on the internet. Everyone has something they're dealing with. I mean of course it's not so serious but the article makes some good points about how problematic her work is in so many ways. It's one thing to 'curate' your image on instagram or write a blog. It's another thing to sell a 2K "couples retreat" that you and your husband are guiding when it turns out your husband is an abusive asshole. Or peddle the idea that you're in control of everything that happens to you without acknowledging your privilege or social barriers that make that statement not true at all.
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Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2018 1:45:43 GMT
Exactly! Do you really want to see pics of my messy house or my aching feet after I get off work or a stack of bills or follow me to the doctor's office, or would you rather see the nature hike I went on and the sunset I saw on the way home and the autumn leaves in my yard? Of course I'm sharing the good stuff. I like my corner of the internet to be largely positive. Is there some reason we need to worry about what "influencers" are posting? They bore me just about as much as the articles denouncing them. But I don't spend time comparing my life to that of others on the internet. Everyone has something they're dealing with. I mean of course it's not so serious but the article makes some good points about how problematic her work is in so many ways. It's one thing to 'curate' your image on instagram or write a blog. It's another thing to sell a 2K "couples retreat" that you and your husband are guiding when it turns out your husband is an abusive asshole. Or peddle the idea that you're in control of everything that happens to you without acknowledging your privilege or social barriers that make that statement not true at all. A fool and his money and all that...
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 12, 2018 1:58:57 GMT
It ain't that serious. Who cares? Surely you know if us peas can be whipped into a frenzy over decorative towels that we can debate this until the cows come home?!?!? Lol... But honestly Zee you are a strong personality. You come across to me here like you are very sure of yourself so I don't think you are the kind of person who is the intended audience. Doesn't surprise me at all that this would be your reaction. I felt pressure in my twenties when this kind of thing wasn't even around, as I stated above and it took my life really falling apart to realize that I needed to rebuild it in a way that makes me happy. And ironically I was a very confident kid/teen who had no problem expressing myself. I had lost my way in my young adulthood trying to juggle marriage and early motherhood. So I can see people losing their way at times. And I can see that this influencer thing might be what some see as a guide to life. I've got a family member who is hugely influenced by this kind of social media. And again...sticking my foot in boiling water here...I find it kind of sad. I feel like I know you better than I know her and I've known her 38 years!
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Post by jackietex on Nov 12, 2018 2:25:33 GMT
I've heard of her, don't plan to buy the book. However, I think we can learn from imperfect people.
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Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2018 3:17:07 GMT
It ain't that serious. Who cares? Surely you know if us peas can be whipped into a frenzy over decorative towels that we can debate this until the cows come home?!?!? Lol... But honestly Zee you are a strong personality. You come across to me here like you are very sure of yourself so I don't think you are the kind of person who is the intended audience. Doesn't surprise me at all that this would be your reaction. I felt pressure in my twenties when this kind of thing wasn't even around, as I stated above and it took my life really falling apart to realize that I needed to rebuild it in a way that makes me happy. And ironically I was a very confident kid/teen who had no problem expressing myself. I had lost my way in my young adulthood trying to juggle marriage and early motherhood. So I can see people losing their way at times. And I can see that this influencer thing might be what some see as a guide to life. I've got a family member who is hugely influenced by this kind of social media. And again...sticking my foot in boiling water here...I find it kind of sad. I feel like I know you better than I know her and I've known her 38 years! Lol I guess you're right.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Nov 12, 2018 3:38:37 GMT
I kind of feel this way about the Pioneer Woman. I'm also afraid to say this here for fear of getting torched.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 12, 2018 3:41:55 GMT
How many of (generic) you have “Live. Love. Laugh.” still up in your house somewhere? Or any of those other platitudes? I guess I'm not understanding the question. I see it as a quote, a way to focus on what you want in life. I've always liked them. I was that nerd who read quoteable quotes (I think that was the name) in Readers Digest as a kid.
Throughout time there have always been “influencers”. Musicians, movie stars, tv stars, reality stars, local newscasters, church members, teachers, neighbors. You like their outfit, so you went and bought the same/similar. You like the smell of the candle they burn In Their house because it’s soothing, so you went and bought the same. You like the calm paint color on that tv show, so you painted your bedroom the same color. You talked to your clergy for advice, you asked your teacher for advice. You went to your neighbors house for morning coffee and came away feeling better. Heck, maybe you have advice or words of wisdom. These are all examples of being influenced. Some little part of all of these examples probably made you feel better or newly enlightened. And at the time we likely all thought whoever gave us that advice/enlightenment is a genius who has it all together...but they’re likely a mess like the rest of us lol. You have a point.
@zingermack I remember you starting a thread about Julia Roberts and how she's a talented actress. I could be wrong, but she's not the best person IRL. She was the reason a marriage broke up and she doesn't have a great reputation for getting along with costars. So, why continue seeing her movies and supporting her? I don't know. It's hard to draw a line anymore; social media and 24 hour news. I just know following instagramers makes me feel bad about myself, so I don't. It seems like once the real truth comes out about any kind of "celebrity" it sucks the fun out of things and if there was any kind of hero worship.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 12, 2018 4:17:16 GMT
I have never heard of this young lady before.
My thoughts on this are...how is following someone on social media, any different than following a band and being a groupie and buying tickets and memorabilia? Following a sports team and being an avid fan and buying all the sports logo stuff? Being a scrapbooker and following one's favorite scrap "celebrity" and buying their merchandise-taking their classes-buy product they recommend that they receive a kickback on, etc....
There are leaders and there are followers. Some people are followers (no offense intended...just stating the facts) and need daily encouragement and inspiration. If one creates a niche(offering daily posts) on social media and they using their persona and social media sight create a large following, and that segues into paid advertising....isn't that called entrepreneurship?
With each and every thing, there are ways to capitalize and produce an income.
As with this very message board...we come here for camaraderie. For some of us, we look forward to it daily. If the admin chose to capitalize on it, that is their prerogative.
If someone uses their social media and it's popularity for financial gain, then good for them.
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Post by mom on Nov 12, 2018 4:19:26 GMT
I kind of feel this way about the Pioneer Woman. I'm also afraid to say this here for fear of getting torched. No torch from me.....but I also don't ever want her to take her recipes and get off the internet either. LOL When I don't know what to cook, I always find something on her site!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 22:49:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2018 4:39:47 GMT
I have never heard of this young lady before. My thoughts on this are...how is following someone on social media, any different than following a band and being a groupie and buying tickets and memorabilia? Following a sports team and being an avid fan and buying all the sports logo stuff? Being a scrapbooker and following one's favorite scrap "celebrity" and buying their merchandise-taking their classes-buy product they recommend that they receive a kickback on, etc.... There are leaders and there are followers. Some people are followers (no offense intended...just stating the facts) and need daily encouragement and inspiration. If one creates a niche(offering daily posts) on social media and they using their persona and social media sight create a large following, and that segues into paid advertising....isn't that called entrepreneurship? With each and every thing, there are ways to capitalize and produce an income. As with this very message board...we come here for camaraderie. For some of us, we look forward to it daily. If the admin chose to capitalize on it, that is their prerogative. If someone uses their social media and it's popularity for financial gain, then good for them. Most people don't look to sports stars or movie stars for inspiration - in the same way they look to these cutesy "perfectly imperfect" moppets. But even if they did, I would hope they would drop those idols like hot potatoes if those idols equated things like failing to lose weight w/failing as a trustworthy human. "She [Hollis] asks you to imagine a friend named Pam who has started several diets, only to fail two weeks in and gain back all the weight she lost. She writes, Y'all, would you respect her? Would you count on Pam or the friend who keeps blowing you off for stupid reasons? Would you trust them when they committed to something? Would you believe them when they committed to you? No. " Shit like that is why I have a special distaste for people like Hollis. www.alisachilders.com/blog/girl-wash-your-face-what-rachel-hollis-gets-rightand-wrong
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Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 12, 2018 9:28:17 GMT
The daughter of a close friend became a TV/Internet personality in the home decorating world. But in true influencer fashion, she angled herself to become so much more. She came out with her own line of furniture, bedding and clothing. For awhile I couldn’t take a step in Costco without confronting giant photos of her.
A gorgeous woman, she did multiple interviews and also wrote on her webpage about how she came from extreme poverty and overcame it by her incredible work ethic, and anyone else could too. First of all, as I said, I was close to her family, and they had pretty much what all of us did. She never went without what she needed. Second, as a very young woman, she married a much older wealthy man. This instantly bumped up both her living standard and her access to the kind of opportunities and social circles to serve her ambitions.
Now on her second marriage, to an even wealthier man, with her gorgeous home and her folksy advice section on her site, she spreads the message that anyone can get to where she is if they try. And of course, everyone deserves to buy her $200 sheet sets.
I figure pretty much all these people are the same. Selling a look/style/idea. If people get inspiration and encouragement from it, no harm. But there is a danger of looking at these and feeling like big, giant failures in comparison.
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pinkmochas
Junior Member
Posts: 89
Oct 7, 2016 0:09:21 GMT
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Post by pinkmochas on Nov 12, 2018 15:29:48 GMT
This is a copy of her last email. Don't agree?That's fine. But I don't think she's offensive. Encouraging people to set goals...She may not be for everyone but I've heard worse.
Guys...I am really excited about this weeks 90-day theme! 🙌🏼 Because this is something that I think we ALL have trouble with *cue the drum roll* OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS. So let's be real here if you say that you "don't care at all about other people's opinions" well I'm calling you out sis, because we have all cared at some point, or felt insecure, or unworthy based off someone's opinion. Think about it... are you chasing those dreams now for yourself? Do you have goals written down that you know aren't for you because those goals are to make other people in your life happy?
I'm here to tell you that someone else’s opinion of you is NONE of your business. You’re afraid to move forward because of what he might think or what she might say or what your in-laws think. That fear will keep you small, will keep you second-guessing yourself, will keep you from living into exactly who your creator made you to be! The next time you find yourself second-guessing because of what “they think” remind yourself of this quote.
So guys, say it with me: someone else’s opinion of me is NONE of my business. We HAVE to let go of this feeling that we need to make everyone happy or that we need to change who we are to satisfy someone else. I'm talking to all my fellow recovering people pleasers... stop worrying about it. Stop thinking about it. Stop letting their opinion shape your perception. And I'm going to be honest, that this is something that I have struggled with for years but guess what. I promise that once you let go of caring about what other's think of you, you'll be able to chase those dreams that are in your heart and be the best version of yourself.
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Post by dudleypippen on Nov 12, 2018 15:49:33 GMT
What if what’s holding you back from achieving your dreams is systematic oppression or racism? This is just another version of the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” myth that has been debunked as long as it’s been around. Prosperity religion, shelling for MLMs, it’s all related. It reeks of ignorance of the privilege that being a white, middle class woman provides. I don’t have it in for this woman, but I’m sick of being peddled the same prepackaged self help soundbites.
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