iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,145
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Nov 13, 2018 15:34:39 GMT
Switch.
If this was the first week or two of school, I would say to stick with it. But after a full semester, why drag it out.
My daughter switched her first semester. Her roommate was just gross and left open food containers to rot over the weekends and was a pig. DD hated that, but the total lack of engagement or conversation drove her over the edge.
New roommate the next semester and it was so much better. She never became life long friends with the new roommate,but they enjoyed their time living together.
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Post by ajsweetpea on Nov 13, 2018 15:42:32 GMT
Maybe the roommate is a big introvert? My daughter is and is sometimes awkward when it comes to making conversation with people she doesn't know very well. Once she knows someone she will talk their ear off, but it is tough for her making conversation with new people and I see how it could come across as rude instead of awkward. Also, maybe since this girl has friends from school at college, she isn't invested in making new friends. Is she an okay roommate otherwise? Maybe she's okay to live with but just not someone your daughter will have a friendship with. Not all roommates end up as bff's and I think that's okay, as long as she is respectful otherwise.
However, if your daughter finds a friend she feels she would be more compatible with, I definitely think it is okay to move out. It probably would be more fun to live with a friend.
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Post by Flowergirl on Nov 13, 2018 15:43:51 GMT
DDs roommate last year (her freshman year) was EXTREMELY introverted. My DD tried time and time again to engage her in normal conversation and regularly invited her to meals or to do thing with friends she made or knew from HS, but the roommate never responded beyond yes/no and never accepted an invitation to join her. Roommate would get to the dining hall a little later and just sit by herself. DD eventually stop asking since she understood her roommate was not interested. She was otherwise a okay to live with--was just incapable of any kind of social interaction. It wasn't just DD she didn't interact with--she's like that with everyone.
At the end of the first semester, DD and her roommate were approached by the girls next door who were incompatible and always fighting and asked if they were interested in swapping roommates. They did (there were individual and group meeting with housing staff required). DD said second semester was much more enjoyable when she had someone she could actually chat normally with.
If your DD has someone in mind to live with, I would have her look into whats involved with changing roommates.
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Post by kristi on Nov 13, 2018 15:50:48 GMT
My daughter is a freshman navigating the dorm experience.
I would encourage my daughter to stick it out & meet people in other avenues.
My daughters school has so many clubs - there is truly something for everyone (they just have to find it). Encourage her to talk to Associated Student Body (or something similar) to see what they have to offer. She needs to find her people - band, intramural sports, books clubs, plants, horses, line dancing, ski club, local SPCA, volunteering with kids, sorority, christian groups...
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Nov 13, 2018 15:52:39 GMT
Move, definitely move. I am still friends with my roommates and floormates 30+ years later. The summer before school started I we exchanged letters and I was very concerned that we would not be friends because on the surface we had little in common. We lived together all four years.
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Post by kitkath on Nov 13, 2018 16:02:31 GMT
I would tell daughter to look into switching roommates. Has she made other friends in her dorm?
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Post by mellowyellow on Nov 13, 2018 16:06:16 GMT
I think you need to let your daughter figure this out. It's all part of growing up.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Nov 13, 2018 16:32:44 GMT
On the plus side, she can study without her roommate interrupting her.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 13, 2018 16:41:39 GMT
Does your DD have other friends? If so, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think there's any way to "force" it. My niece is a freshman in a suite (2 singles, 1 double). They all share a bathroom but there's no common living space. Niece is in a single. Two girls are on the same sports team but the 4 have not bonded. My niece is with her other friends or boyfriend, so she doesn't care. Not every match is a winner. I think there is a big difference between sharing a suite and sharing a room. Having to live with someone who doesn't acknowledge you exist is really uncomfortable. The only way to get away is to go where your stuff isn't. It makes for a long year. My son lived in a suite and they shared a bathroom. He never bonded with the other two guys, but they were cordial. He got out at the end of the year but said he was really glad he had his own bedroom.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 23:34:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2018 18:39:25 GMT
That sounds exactly like my dd's first roommate her freshman year. I told her she can only ask, invite, try to hold conversations for so long. I told her as long as she attempted to include and talk to her that was all she was required to do and after a while just to move on. Her roommate also went to bed early and would just turn off lights at 9 pm even if dd was studying. Dd is easy going and the kind of kid that can make friends with anyone - just about anyone ha, ha. She didn't feel very comfortable even having friends in her room because the roommate didn't interact with anyone. Dd did move to another room on another floor the 2nd semester and was so much happier. She ended up in a room by herself - she didn't request it, it just happened. I say move on without a second thought. I was a turn the light off at 10 person. My roommate was a stay up to 4 having long chat sessions and then studying until time to go to class. There are rooms/studying lounges and of course the library and commons for chat sessions and late night studying. I also worked while roomie would go nap, during the afternoon. We were a bad match and the ra even admitted that we were the last 2 to be matched. I was older and she wasn’t a good match with anybody.
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Post by **Angie** on Nov 15, 2018 2:44:04 GMT
Ha - my daughter can't even get her to say hi to her. They are no where near able to offer to hangout together. Roommate has her own friends from high school on campus. Dd doesn't want to be "friends" with her, just wants to be able to have some casual conversation. An example, "how were your classes today?" is met with, "good." End of conversation. I dunno. That sounds like a typical conversation I'd have with someone I didn't necessarily want to be friends with.
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