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Post by peano on Nov 4, 2019 16:18:59 GMT
I think we’re not doing a tree this year, but I’ll do an elaborate mantel. We hardly have any wrapped presents any more—just stuff that fits into a stocking, so maybe I’ll make larger stockings like I’ve been talking about for the past few years.
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Post by hockeymom4 on Nov 4, 2019 16:21:28 GMT
We are skipping Christmas Eve and Christmas Day celebrations with both families and going to Las Vegas instead! We had a loss on Christmas in 2010 and this year it is really hitting DH very hard. So we are getting out of Dodge and avoiding the whole thing. His stress levels dropped so much when we made the final decision. I am glad to hear you guys found something to do over the holidays (I was following your original post but missed the final decision) I hope that this offers the distraction you need.
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Post by hockeymom4 on Nov 4, 2019 16:23:54 GMT
We are heading to Belfast on the 18th so may skip the tree completely Will be pretty low key as we waited to book flights and the prices went up... also DD thinks she wants to go away for university so she wants $$$$$$
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Post by maryland on Nov 4, 2019 16:30:20 GMT
I got away with not putting the tree up for 2 yrs.! I think they kids are going to put it up this year. I got tired of doing all the work myself. And I don't like our wall to wall furniture and clutter with all the Christmas decor. And we are never even home for Christmas. We have to travel two times over the holidays to both sets of parents, so not worth the trouble.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Nov 4, 2019 16:50:30 GMT
Over the years I scaled back a few things I used to make a ton of appetizers from scratch for christmas eve and then turn around on the 25th and make a turkey. About 6 yrs ago decided enough of the work and expense and being exhausted on the 25th and we started doing chinese take out for the 24th best decision ever! My boys and hubby were a bit pissy the first year LOL but they got over it.
The last year we had our turkey on the 24th may do that again this year.
Gave up on doing cards (other then the pea card swap) years ago.
I've really scaled back on the baking being empty nesters and we just don't need it.
As we are still trying to recover financially I really scaled back on gift buying last year and this year will be even tighter as our place of work will be shut down all of December thru mid January.
A number of years ago my husband finally realized he needed to be more involved with the gift buying and we now take a day off to shop and that sure took some of the pressure off me to buy for everyone.
When the boys were very small we decided to quit running all over the place to make GP and in-laws happy, best decision and I don't regret it.
Because of how my MIL has treated me over the years and especially her treatment while Spencer was so sick I refuse to be at the house if she decides to drop by with her gifts so my husband gets her to drop them off at his office LOL.
I still enjoy decorating my house from floor to ceiling and hope to have it all decked out by mid November.
I have learned over the years to only do the prep and work and obligations that I actually enjoy rather than those I think i need to do or should do.
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Post by tentoes on Nov 4, 2019 16:58:29 GMT
Last year my husband and I decorated early for Christmas--before Thanksgiving. I'm so glad we did because he had a heart attack right after Thanksgiving, and died. This year, his death anniversary is Thanksgiving day. I'm kind of dreading it, but it will be the "last" first I have to go through, so maybe it will be a blessing. My kids and grandchildren are all coming to town for Thanksgiving. We're celebrating it together for the first time in quite a while. They all want to help me decorate for Christmas. I may go to a daughter's house for Christmas. I haven't decided yet. I gave up sending cards last year I guess.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Nov 4, 2019 17:05:37 GMT
I'm thinking I might not put up a tree this year. I have 3 dogs now, we're not doing a big gift exchange, granddaughter won't be coming for the holidays, I have to block one of my doors to set it up and it just takes up so much space. Plus it has glitter on it and I don't want to deal.
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Post by papersilly on Nov 4, 2019 18:55:02 GMT
since MIL moved out state last year, we no longer have to do Christmas morning and dinner at her house. other than that, i'm status quo on everything else.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 4, 2019 18:56:27 GMT
This year I'm giving up DH's company party. They are holding it at the same place as the past two years and I warned DH if they did I was bailing. It too small for the company (which has doubled in size in 2 years), super loud (can't carry on a conversation loud), not enough places to sit (although they serve a full buffet for dinner and not finger foods) and a very dark and dated venue. Not worth the effort to rent a dress, have my hair blown out and do a manicure. Fortunately he agreed! Thanksgiving is just us and we aren't turkey fans, so Honeybaked Ham to the rescue! I make the cornbread dressing, a veggie or two and dessert. So much nicer not to spend the entire day in the kitchen! We do put a little more effort into the Christmas meal, but not much. We went to a 4' tree on top of the island because of the dog several years ago, gave up sending cards almost 20 years ago, no longer gift family (very small on both sides, all parents are gone). Still haven't decided if I'll put up any decorations or not, but if I do they will be minimal. Instead of gifts to extended family, we buy blankets and supplies for a local pet rescue that we support. For Halloween this year, I wasn't home and DH didn't want to hand out candy. Instead, he took the $100 I would have spent on candy and donated it to CASA. I love how he thinks!
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Anita
Drama Llama
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Post by Anita on Nov 4, 2019 19:33:07 GMT
I'm not sending cards for the first time.
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Post by Merge on Nov 4, 2019 19:35:22 GMT
I’d like to stop buying presents and just sprinkle cash under the tree. LOL
I’m letting MIL and my younger daughter do all the work for Thanksgiving. After 23 years of doing it by myself, I’m ready for a break.
We’re definitely skipping my holiday work party, but we’ll have to go to DH’s. Ugh.
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Post by tyra on Nov 4, 2019 20:09:28 GMT
Not much. We will be gone 12/6-12/20 in FL, so missing both of our works Christmas party, the decoration contest at work, etc. We are attending Christmas eve at our family and Christmas day at DH's family, and that is it.
Not putting up a tree, except a small one in DSs room, will hang stockings etc, but pointless for most of it since we won't be home for it. Will also send out Christmas cards since we just got DSs Christmas photos back and I *have* to send them, they are too damned adorable!
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Post by peasapie on Nov 4, 2019 20:24:32 GMT
I think we’re not doing a tree this year, but I’ll do an elaborate mantel. We hardly have any wrapped presents any more—just stuff that fits into a stocking, so maybe I’ll make larger stockings like I’ve been talking about for the past few years. I started doing this the past couple of years, too. Once the kids were grown, an entire tree felt like a lot of work for little return. I do have a wooden Swedish Christmas tree with handmade (mostly be me) ornaments that I keep out, in addition to the lighted mantel. That's festive enough for me!
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,960
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Apr 26, 2017 6:14:47 GMT
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Post by snyder on Nov 4, 2019 20:41:41 GMT
I have cut way back through the years and keep it pretty low key. This thread reminded me of a book I read a few years a go, On Strike for Christmas by Sheila Roberts On Strike for Christmas Amazon Link It is very quick easy read if you're in for some hilarious entertainment.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Nov 4, 2019 20:42:58 GMT
My youngest child is 20 so I don't have to make as Christmas magical as I once did!
When she gets home from college we will do what we want. I am still planning on putting up 3 trees but not decorations in every room.
We enjoy baking together so, we will do some of that.
Not sure I am going to do family Christmas cards this year.
I have already decided to trim who I buy gifts for.
I love doing a couple of Operation Christmas Child boxes.
I also like buying for a kid or two from the Angel Tree.
Like Marie Kondo say...If it SPARKS JOY then keep it!!!
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 4, 2019 23:46:47 GMT
We stopped traveling years ago when the kids were younger. I buy for people I like. We don't have anyone over for Christmas. I stopped sending cards years ago. I cook a nice steak meal on Christmas Eve and on Christmas we all chill and maybe go to a movie. We have leftovers.
I feel like I already do the minimum and am very happy with it.
ETA: We will be on vacation the 12-22, so if it doesn't get done by the 12th, it ain't happening.
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ashley
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Post by ashley on Nov 4, 2019 23:58:55 GMT
I WANT to say no to spending December 23-26 at my mom’s house, and letting her dictate the menues and terms of our holidays but every year I bring it up the (younger) kids all want to go there. I have never once held Christmas morning in my own home. Or Christmas dinner. One year I did host Christmas Eve dinner but I’m pretty sure that was only because I said I was going to make brisket.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 5, 2019 0:09:10 GMT
This year, I am saying a firm but polite "no thank you" to any additional Thanksgiving and Christmas other than the usual ones I usually attend(and have been attending for years).
Meaning "just because one person is being a drama queen and refusing to attend the usual holiday meals" and is instead doing their own meal at their residence with friends, I feel no obligation to attend, stop by, drop in anytime, or participate in that gathering. Most especially when I and we(the others) do not like the friends in question.
No amount of guilt, double talking, sweet talking, pointing fingers and placing blame elsewhere, etc... will change that. Nor will this particular persons "passive aggressive" behavior >> fake being sick or in need of medical attention to get their way. I (and we) are wise to this person game playing and passive aggressive behavior. Most especially after some earlier in the year drama with this person. Took me 53-54 years of putting up with this type of behavior and I am done. The usual guilt trip behavior will no longer work on me. No is a complete sentence. No matter how many times I am asked to come there for the holiday meal, my answer is "No thank you". << And, that feels so damn good.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 5, 2019 0:48:25 GMT
I WANT to say no to spending December 23-26 at my mom’s house, and letting her dictate the menues and terms of our holidays but every year I bring it up the (younger) kids all want to go there. I have never once held Christmas morning in my own home. Or Christmas dinner. One year I did host Christmas Eve dinner but I’m pretty sure that was only because I said I was going to make brisket. That’s just sad. I really LOVE being able to stay home in my own house doing our own thing as a nuclear family for the holidays. It’s nice to be able to wake up in your own bed and stay in your PJs until 2:00 pm (or all day if you’re my DD). I think you should just tell the kids that you’re staying home this year and then just do it. Don’t give them any other option and do some different things to make it more fun than the alternative. No one is saying you have to stay away completely especially since you live close enough, but with all the things you’ve said RE: how toxic it can be for you there I would limit it to maybe just one breakfast or dinner and then stick to that. What you’ve described in the past sounds like utter hell to me and I wouldn’t put up with that for a whole day much less 3-4 days running. Nope, nope, nope. Just because it’s what you’ve always done doesn’t mean it has to be what you always do. Times change and traditions can change too. It might just turn out to be your kid’s favorite Christmas ever and you’ll all wonder why you waited so long to make that change. Hugs, and I hope you and your kids can have a more peaceful holiday.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by ashley on Nov 5, 2019 0:51:18 GMT
Thanks crazy4scraps. I am really considering the best alternative. It makes me sad that my eldest has gone away to university and will likely be out on her own before very long, and we’ve never had our own Christmas at home. It’s not a simple situation that’s for sure. I’m even considering seeing if my ex wants the kids at his mom’s house (where he is still living) to just avoid the entire thing completely!
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paget
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Nov 5, 2019 0:56:43 GMT
You have to pay to attend your office party??? I've ever heard of that. That would be a big no thanks for me. I work for a school district, and we had to pay for our party, as well. We are reminded regularly that we can’t expect the taxpayers to pay for things like that. (For the record I don’t necessarily disagree, but it can be taken to the extreme at times, but that’s a different discussion). We no longer have these kinds of parties because everyone stopped going. I work for the state as well (government) and we also get no paid parties of any kind because we can’t expect the taxpayer to fund it - I’m with you that I agree to a point. It shouldn’t be extravagant by any means but I think it would be ok to fund SOMETHING. I mean they won’t buy snacks or coffee or literally anything for us.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Nov 5, 2019 0:57:16 GMT
Family drama. That’s a big not happening this year.
No gift exchanges this year. Just the kids.
No games like the past years. Two of my siblings were total assholes about it, so not doing it (my hubby and I spent over $500 each year on the games with gift card “prizes”) they can suck it.
Trying not to stress this year. Getting things done NOW.
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Post by scrappintoee on Nov 5, 2019 1:10:03 GMT
Instead of gifts to extended family, we buy blankets and supplies for a local pet rescue that we support. You just inspired me to do this----THANK YOU !!!!
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QueenoftheSloths
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Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Nov 5, 2019 1:17:28 GMT
My Christmas activities are pretty low key compared to what I read about here, and I don't have any plans to cut back. I don't have anything anymore that I do only out of obligation, so I would be sad to cut anything out. I would be sad to not have the decorations out. I would be sad to not have our traditional treats. DH spent a lot of Christmases alone, working, or as a afterthought at some else's celebration after his divorce, and he enjoys celebrating fully in our home. With our age difference, I anticipate many Christmases alone in my future, so as long as we are both here and able, we will keep our traditions going.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 5, 2019 1:22:33 GMT
Thanks crazy4scraps . I am really considering the best alternative. It makes me sad that my eldest has gone away to university and will likely be out on her own before very long, and we’ve never had our own Christmas at home. It’s not a simple situation that’s for sure. I’m even considering seeing if my ex wants the kids at his mom’s house (where he is still living) to just avoid the entire thing completely! Maybe that’s the excuse you need to convince the others that the time has come to celebrate for the next couple years at least in a new way because the time will come all too soon when things are going to change anyway. Might as well enjoy these next few Christmases together before the older two are totally off on their own. You never know which way the wind will blow them in the future but you can have them there with you NOW so that is how I would pitch it. Good luck, you really do deserve to have things go your way sometimes!
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Post by mustlovecats on Nov 5, 2019 1:25:36 GMT
I’m not traveling.
I’m keeping the budget small.
I’m having the main components of the meal catered.
The decorations will be simple.
I’m sending cards to people who are suffering or sad and spending less time focusing on people who already have everything.
I’m trying to remember what I loved about Christmas as a kid. Magic and love.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 5, 2019 1:28:44 GMT
This year, I am saying a firm but polite "no thank you" to any additional Thanksgiving and Christmas other than the usual ones I usually attend(and have been attending for years). Meaning "just because one person is being a drama queen and refusing to attend the usual holiday meals" and is instead doing their own meal at their residence with friends, I feel no obligation to attend, stop by, drop in anytime, or participate in that gathering. Most especially when I and we(the others) do not like the friends in question. No amount of guilt, double talking, sweet talking, pointing fingers and placing blame elsewhere, etc... will change that. Nor will this particular persons "passive aggressive" behavior >> fake being sick or in need of medical attention to get their way. I (and we) are wise to this person game playing and passive aggressive behavior. Most especially after some earlier in the year drama with this person. Took me 53-54 years of putting up with this type of behavior and I am done. The usual guilt trip behavior will no longer work on me. No is a complete sentence. No matter how many times I am asked to come there for the holiday meal, my answer is "No thank you". << And, that feels so damn good. I am going to need a drama update after both holidays please. I can't imagine someone doing this.
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 5, 2019 4:02:07 GMT
This thread has only served to make me feel guilty for all the things I could have been doing all these years, but have not!
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Nov 5, 2019 7:09:37 GMT
Pretending to be 'jolly'. Eff that. I initially read "Elf that." Either way it made me LOL. and "jolly". I've been thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas, too. Part of me just wants me and the two adult kids to hang in our jammies, exchange gifts, munch on whatever and do whatever we want or don't want. I'm sure I'll change my mind as I love seeing my niece and nephews but as of yet, I'm not feeling it. Perhaps just lazy.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 5, 2019 7:23:51 GMT
I thought this thread looked familiar! Like last year, I say no to practically everything. This year I will be adding no to spending Christmas with my side of the family on Christmas Day. I'll find a way to spend quality time with my mom instead.
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