Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Nov 5, 2019 11:27:14 GMT
All of them. We’re heading to the Azores for Christmas and playing the whole thing by ear.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:58:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2019 11:51:03 GMT
I'm not doing any baking. There is a perfectly good little bakery right across the street where I can buy any cookies or candy I want. I don't see this sudden need for spending hours in the kitchen baking stuff that you can just buy, and save yourself the time and the mess. I truly don't get this, but it seems to be an American thing; some things are just different across cultures.
I am cutting down on our spending this Christmas. I already told the kids this. We are saving for some major renovation projects around the house and that is just more important right now. They were fine with it, btw.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,744
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Nov 5, 2019 12:09:56 GMT
I'm putting my foot down on unnecessary tat for presents. I've been asked what I want for Christmas since September and I've decided to ask for one gift from each person who buys for me, and if they want to spend more, it can go to my favourite charity. Neither of us want "stuff". We have too much "stuff". I'm still hating the plastic tat I was given for my big birthday this year, but I can't get rid of it because the givers visit our house. I would rather have time with and photos and memories of our loved ones than mementoes.
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Post by gryroagain on Nov 5, 2019 12:36:07 GMT
This is the first holiday post family meltdown thanks to Low Life Cheating Asshat Husband. Kids and I will be in Seattle for Christmas, so I will be in the apartment for Thanksgiving and it’s all him. My dad died and I was gone a couple weeks, they decorated for fall while I was gone. I don’t intend to do any Christmas decorating as I’ll be gone.
He will probably do the Christmas stiff at his weeks at the house, if the fall stuff is any indication. I just don’t care about any of this anymore. I’m checked out of happy middle class family for good.
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Post by candygurl on Nov 5, 2019 13:10:13 GMT
We are not doing a traditional thanksgiving meal and am totally happy with that! Crockpot meal and some simple sides and we are done. It’s no fun to be in the kitchen all day cleaning and washing dishes and not feel appreciated for all we’ve done. If they want a traditional meal, they can make it later. We did it last year and it felt so nice to be able to relax and visit with family and friends.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Nov 5, 2019 13:19:38 GMT
I WANT to say no to spending December 23-26 at my mom’s house, and letting her dictate the menues and terms of our holidays but every year I bring it up the (younger) kids all want to go there. I have never once held Christmas morning in my own home. Or Christmas dinner. One year I did host Christmas Eve dinner but I’m pretty sure that was only because I said I was going to make brisket. With all the trouble you have with your mother, you'd think it would be easy for you to just have your own christmas. All the years of not doing what you want? That's kind of on you. Have your Christmas morning at home, then if you have to go to your mom's then go later in the day. Re: OP. There's not much I'm saying NO to this year except the extensive efforts towards getting everyone together. My two step kids have so many different directions they're pulled in that I end up turning myself inside out trying to get everyone together. It's so stressful. This year, I'm not playing. I'm going to host Christmas Eve and Christmas morning for whomever wants to be here.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:58:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2019 13:35:07 GMT
Pretending to be 'jolly'. Eff that. I initially read "Elf that." Either way it made me LOL. and "jolly". I've been thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas, too. Part of me just wants me and the two adult kids to hang in our jammies, exchange gifts, munch on whatever and do whatever we want or don't want. I'm sure I'll change my mind as I love seeing my niece and nephews but as of yet, I'm not feeling it. Perhaps just lazy. I'm actually determined to be as jolly as possible this year, it's our first Christmas together in our new home so even if it's a little forced I'm all about the jolly.
I'm doing gift vouchers or donations to an animal charity for gifts, not buying anything that needs wrapping or posting. Cards I'm undecided on as yet, they're so wasteful but will people get upset if I don't send them?!!
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 5, 2019 13:46:42 GMT
This is the first holiday post family meltdown thanks to Low Life Cheating Asshat Husband. Kids and I will be in Seattle for Christmas, so I will be in the apartment for Thanksgiving and it’s all him. My dad died and I was gone a couple weeks, they decorated for fall while I was gone. I don’t intend to do any Christmas decorating as I’ll be gone. He will probably do the Christmas stiff at his weeks at the house, if the fall stuff is any indication. I just don’t care about any of this anymore. I’m checked out of happy middle class family for good. I hope will find a way to do something for YOU. Gentle hugs, dear Pea.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:58:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2019 14:53:08 GMT
This is the first holiday post family meltdown thanks to Low Life Cheating Asshat Husband. Kids and I will be in Seattle for Christmas, so I will be in the apartment for Thanksgiving and it’s all him. My dad died and I was gone a couple weeks, they decorated for fall while I was gone. I don’t intend to do any Christmas decorating as I’ll be gone. He will probably do the Christmas stiff at his weeks at the house, if the fall stuff is any indication. I just don’t care about any of this anymore. I’m checked out of happy middle class family for good. Sorry about the husband situation. Sounds like you have a good plan. Hope you have a lovely Nov/Dec w/the kids, whatever you do. Have fun. Be together. That's what matters.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,534
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 5, 2019 14:53:08 GMT
I'm going a little different this year, I'm saying no to my inclination to be a grinch. This is what I posted last year, and I found it to be beneficial. I embraced the holidays not in a rah rah Hallmark movie kind of way but in a I'm here and present for what comes kind of way. Christmas day was awful, but that had nothing to do with embracing the season. Honestly, it's my goal this year too especially as our traditions will be changing without my mom here. ETA: What I AM changing is the fact that mom and I primarily made the meal on both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'd split the meat duties, so she wasn't on hook for both expenses, but she was the only one who knew how to cook the beef tenderloin so I'd pick it up for her and she'd cook it. I've already told DH I'm expecting his help in the kitchen and that I am NOT starting a new tradition of Beth makes everything. His mother made sure he knew how to cook, he just doesn't like to do it. Too bad buddy, I'm not spending my holiday in the kitchen so everyone else gets the big meal. You want stuffing? Get in here and make it. Last year I was already starting to cut back and move toward what can be pre-bought/ made ahead. And it's not like I'm cooking for a huge group either, it's just the 4 of us. Our potatoes will come from Schwans, so will the rolls. I think we're going to get a smoked turkey this year, and I love Cranberry relish so I'll make that (ahead of time). Really it's going to be heat and serve when we want to eat. I did a grief group this past October, through our local hospice group and they offer a surviving the holidays. I'm going to take that as well. One thing that they said that really struck me is when you're in grief, if you don't have a plan for the holiday that's when things go south. I think that's really true. I love making chocolates, and last year DS pulled out all the trays, set them up on the dining room table and made boxes for each of his teachers. He was so excited to be able to do this and I enjoyed watching his face while doing it. So, I'm going to make chocolates again this year, as well as cookies. Because I want to, and I think that's the difference.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 5, 2019 21:54:31 GMT
I'm saying no to feeling guilt.
I'm not buying everything on the Christmas lists. I'm not doing Elf every day.
I'm definitely not contributing for holiday anything at work.
I'm just so sick of the hands out, greed filled, consumer driven season.
I'm going to stick to a budget for my kids' gifts, and not feel guilty when i can't spend a week's worth of pay on some bs that my kid wants, but will forget in a week.
I'm going to send out the photo cards to just a few people because it makes me happy to do so.
I'm not going to worry about perfect. Who am i trying to impress anyway?
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Nov 5, 2019 22:35:56 GMT
Love this LavenderLayoutLady My kids are a mixed bag a few really appreciate the efforts i go to financially and other wise and the others just expect it. Is it just me and my kids or does the younger generation seem to entitled LOL. For my kids I take ownership for part of that attitude. I over compensated for what i never had i guess. I don't expect an expensive gift from any of them but i do get pissy when I know they buy their MIL a gift or seem to have money for their booze and vaping crap. My youngest doesn't even buy his siblings a small little something. He's 22 and I know he makes good money. I'd be happy with a $5.00 Tim Horton's gift card or even a nice card from them. I've really cut back over the past few years with both my kids and grandkids especially the oldest one. I am taking her to a scrapbooking retreat in January so that will be the majority of her gift. We stay in a hotel and scrap for 3 days. I think what bothers me even more then an acknowledgment from my boys is I have never even gotten a small gift from my grandkids. As much as i despise my MIL I always got my kids go with me to pick out something to buy for her and the other GP
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Post by tuva42 on Nov 5, 2019 22:49:55 GMT
I'm saying no to Thanksgiving with my in-laws. Not because I don't like them, but because we've done it with them for last 10 years or so. DH's mom was the only grandparent living for a long time and my brother's wife was always gracious enough to say we should spend it with her and not rotate years with them. Then the last 4 years she had cancer so it had to be with her and the family. I don't resent any of that. It was so important to her and we found other time to spend with my brother and sister's families.
But this year I told DH we'd host Thanksgiving with my siblings. He agreed. So when when his sisters asked where we should have it this year he told them we wouldn't be with them. I know it makes them sad since DH's mom died last year, but I need time with my family and I know they understand.
I've been saying no more and more to holiday baking over the last few years. We all just eat so much sugar and its so bad for us. So I make just a small amount of a few of our traditional favorites.
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Post by rockymtnpea on Nov 6, 2019 0:11:07 GMT
Tuva42-Your dh's sisters can't come and celebrate with you and your siblings at your house?
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 6, 2019 0:56:54 GMT
This year, I am saying a firm but polite "no thank you" to any additional Thanksgiving and Christmas other than the usual ones I usually attend(and have been attending for years). Meaning "just because one person is being a drama queen and refusing to attend the usual holiday meals" and is instead doing their own meal at their residence with friends, I feel no obligation to attend, stop by, drop in anytime, or participate in that gathering. Most especially when I and we(the others) do not like the friends in question. No amount of guilt, double talking, sweet talking, pointing fingers and placing blame elsewhere, etc... will change that. Nor will this particular persons "passive aggressive" behavior >> fake being sick or in need of medical attention to get their way. I (and we) are wise to this person game playing and passive aggressive behavior. Most especially after some earlier in the year drama with this person. Took me 53-54 years of putting up with this type of behavior and I am done. The usual guilt trip behavior will no longer work on me. No is a complete sentence. No matter how many times I am asked to come there for the holiday meal, my answer is "No thank you". << And, that feels so damn good. I am going to need a drama update after both holidays please. I can't imagine someone doing this. There will be nothing to report. The drama queen will not be attending the usual holiday gatherings. Nor will the rest of us be attending her gathering. So it should be nice holidays.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Nov 6, 2019 1:35:36 GMT
I'm not hosting our family party. Not one of my four SILs or my sister stepped up. End of an era. I'm done. Notice how you didn’t mention males!?
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 6, 2019 1:47:06 GMT
I'm not doing any baking. There is a perfectly good little bakery right across the street where I can buy any cookies or candy I want. I don't see this sudden need for spending hours in the kitchen baking stuff that you can just buy, and save yourself the time and the mess. I truly don't get this, but it seems to be an American thing; some things are just different across cultures. No, it's an individual thing. Some people enjoy baking and sharing. Not any different than people who like sewing, scrapbooking, crocheting, or other hobbies. Things you can easily buy instead of wasting time. Apparently more popular in the U.S., but not a big deal if you buy things.
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Post by cathyb on Nov 6, 2019 1:56:21 GMT
I said no to going to sil. Dh's dad died 2 years ago. His mom is wheelchair bound, 87, and beginnings of dementia. We see her everyday and do a lot for her. She is a lovely person. Sil shows up evey 3 weeks for 5 minutes. Sil wants us to drive mom to sil's mom in law about an hour away for Thanksgiving. My sister died suddenly this year and a week later my grandpa died. They live put of state with my side of the family. I told dh if we can't go be with my family, we will be with your mom but I am not making it easy on your sister by going to her mil. My sil told dh today that I was selfish and I should think about her because her dad died. Apparently that is more important than my sister. We did ask that everyone come to dh's mom's house instead, but no takers (I hope that wasn't too confusing)
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Post by ntsf on Nov 6, 2019 2:03:27 GMT
we will probably have a quiet christmas. my son and his girlfriend are flying east to see her family. so there will be the three of us. probably will get a small tree and decorate. make pies and ham, and call family by facetime. one daughter lives in new zealand. gifts go out in a week or two. one child lives at home. I don't really send cards anymore. there are almost no parties .. so go to church service will be it. and I go alone.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 6, 2019 2:14:56 GMT
DH and I aren’t feeling the holiday spirit this year so we’re just giving out gift cards for Christmas to people. We’re already getting shit for this decision... I just want to sleep through all the bs of the holiday season honestly.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 6, 2019 2:27:20 GMT
DH and I aren’t feeling the holiday spirit this year so we’re just giving out gift cards for Christmas to people. We’re already getting shit for this decision... I just want to sleep through all the bs of the holiday season honestly. I was in Walmart today and saw a bright green Grinch sweatshirt. Normally don't get clothes from Walmart, but this sweatshirt spoke to me. . It is in my drawer waiting for Thanksgiving Day. My family always calls me the Grinch. I own it.
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Post by jmd74 on Nov 6, 2019 2:42:24 GMT
A lot. I’m not up to a big thanksgiving and for Christmas we will probably just put up the tree and nothing else. I’m hoping some holiday spirit hits because I’m feeling rather like Scrooge right now.
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Post by katiekaty on Nov 6, 2019 4:10:58 GMT
No office parties. No friends parties unless they are pot luck, free, gift less, not at a restaurant, etc. No outside decorations. One smaller tree near fireplace in family room, with much less decorations than in the past. No home cooked thanksgiving dinner-taking the shortcut this year and ordering the prepared meal from one of the best known stores for doing this with all the fixings- I am only going to make a dessert and NOBODY better piss me off or it will be a Walmart pie and cake! Christmas might be at a restaurant this year? I told Santa that my kids were all grown and I burned my cookie recipes and we are lactose intolerant and my dogs bite, so take the hint and skip my house! The only Christmas I am sending this year are Two Peas Refugees, ‘cause, you know, guys send me some too. I will not give up the TV for football or sports this year-the guys can go watch in the upstairs game room-I refuse to be nice-I want the holiday shows. No Black Friday sales. I fact no store sales. Only online. And no, don’t request I make you anything. If you do, you might get the pattern and supplies and a good luck and have fun card! In fact, I might not buy people presents this year. I might only buy dog presents. And cat presents. I am tempted to tell all my relatives see you next year- but not jokingly like I do on Dec. 31st, but on November 15-or maybe tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow’s good! No Christmas carols! And no gift exchanges-unless you give me cash. Is it acceptable to put that on the wish list for a gift exchange? Did I forget anything?
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Post by tracyarts on Nov 6, 2019 8:28:14 GMT
No special Thanksgiving meal this year. DH works Fri-Sun and we don't want to deal with food preparation. We just want to take it easy on Thanksgiving. Maybe we'll go to a restaurant, maybe we'll get a pre-made meal. But we know we're not doing anything more involved than heating stuff up.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:58:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2019 8:31:02 GMT
I'm not doing any baking. There is a perfectly good little bakery right across the street where I can buy any cookies or candy I want. I don't see this sudden need for spending hours in the kitchen baking stuff that you can just buy, and save yourself the time and the mess. I truly don't get this, but it seems to be an American thing; some things are just different across cultures. No, it's an individual thing. Some people enjoy baking and sharing. Not any different than people who like sewing, scrapbooking, crocheting, or other hobbies. Things you can easily buy instead of wasting time. Apparently more popular in the U.S., but not a big deal if you buy things. True. Hobbies are hobbies. It's just that, from my experience here on the board, it seems like so many people see this as a chore. I have to bake. I need to start my baking early. I need to start thinking about what to bake. That made me wonder if, on your side of the ocean, this is just one of those things people are 'supposed' to do in December? One of those things that sort of goes with the holidays, like putting up a tree or buying gifts?
I never hear anyone mention obligatory cookie baking here. However, chocolateries and bakeries are running at full spead these two months.
I'm not criticizing it. Just noticing a difference.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 6, 2019 15:37:44 GMT
I told Santa that my kids were all grown and I burned my cookie recipes and we are lactose intolerant and my dogs bite, so take the hint and skip my house! This made me laugh!
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,534
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 6, 2019 16:27:47 GMT
No, it's an individual thing. Some people enjoy baking and sharing That made me wonder if, on your side of the ocean, this is just one of those things people are 'supposed' to do in December? One of those things that sort of goes with the holidays, like putting up a tree or buying gifts? This is interesting to me. I enjoy baking, and the years after my dad died when I just didn't have the energy I didn't do it. When I really started to be conscious of how can I enjoy the holiday I started doing it again. The one thing I don't do is cut out sugar cookies. I detest rolling dough, cutting it and getting it on a cookie sheet. Mom didn't mind doing this, so for the past few years I've made the dough then brought it to her with the kids for rolling and baking. (I'm all in for the eating). I don't do most bakery goods as I don't like them. To me, they don't taste right. I mean things like cookies or cakes. Now Croissants, or real cinnamon rolls. I'll pay for. Having made them myself I'm happy to pay someone to do that kind of work. plain round Sugar cookies on the other hand? no, I like mine better. Just my .02 DH's mom, who is a baker, thinks of it as a chore. When DH was younger and they were living hand to mouth she would have to start buying supplies in September to be able to have enough on hand to be able to do the baking during the holidays. FIL was career air force, and she was limited to on base shopping. I think that colored her perception of baking for the season, yet she still does it b/c it's "expected"
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:58:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2019 16:38:00 GMT
No, it's an individual thing. Some people enjoy baking and sharing That made me wonder if, on your side of the ocean, this is just one of those things people are 'supposed' to do in December? One of those things that sort of goes with the holidays, like putting up a tree or buying gifts? This is interesting to me. I enjoy baking, and the years after my dad died when I just didn't have the energy I didn't do it. When I really started to be conscious of how can I enjoy the holiday I started doing it again. The one thing I don't do is cut out sugar cookies. I detest rolling dough, cutting it and getting it on a cookie sheet. Mom didn't mind doing this, so for the past few years I've made the dough then brought it to her with the kids for rolling and baking. (I'm all in for the eating). I don't do most bakery goods as I don't like them. To me, they don't taste right. I mean things like cookies or cakes. Now Croissants, or real cinnamon rolls. I'll pay for. Having made them myself I'm happy to pay someone to do that kind of work. plain round Sugar cookies on the other hand? no, I like mine better. Just my .02 DH's mom, who is a baker, thinks of it as a chore. When DH was younger and they were living hand to mouth she would have to start buying supplies in September to be able to have enough on hand to be able to do the baking during the holidays. FIL was career air force, and she was limited to on base shopping. I think that colored her perception of baking for the season, yet she still does it b/c it's "expected"
So, do you bake and eat dozens of cookies in December? Is this like a meal type thing?
Or do people give them away? is it like, a swap situation? Do you get cookies back? Do you then eat tons of cookies other people baked?
Is this on Christmas? Or before Christmas? Are cookies a seasonal food? Is that why people bake so much in December?
Help an overseasie understand. Now I want to bake something
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,534
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 6, 2019 17:36:45 GMT
Or do people give them away? is it like, a swap situation? Do you get cookies back? Do you then eat tons of cookies other people baked? I've got younger kids, so DS will tell you that cookies for a meal would be AMAZING. No, we don't eat them in a meal. We make sugar cookies, from 3 recipes. My grandmothers (round no shape) DH's moms (shaped iced post baking) and my mothers (shaped and decorated pre-cooking). If I'm up for it, then I make gingerbread cookies (also shaped). Each recipe makes maybe 2 dozen cookies depending on size of the cut. Many, many cookies are consumed in our house. 75 percent of them by DH and DS, both of whom have a serious sweet tooth. I make platters and take them into work to share. DD's December Girl Scout meeting last year was a progressive dinner ending in dessert. We hosted dessert and I made sugar and gingerbread cookies for the girls to decorate. DH takes a platter into work as well. We don't have extended family here, so it's just the 4 of us now. In past years, I have done a swap but that means now I've got MORE cookies in my house. I also make candies, so I bring a big platter in to share during our weekly staff meeting. It satisfies my need to give to my officemates, but not do individual gifts. Sometimes people leave trays in our break room. The benefit to this is finding a new cookie I've never heard of, and then looking at the recipe (the part I like doing). I think for me, the act of cooking is relaxing. So I'm happy to give away what I've made. Plus, the sugar cookie recipes mean it's the holidays to me. These are only made at Christmastime. and It means my MIL doesn't feel the need to bake and ship to us so it's one less thing on her plate. Hope that helps.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Nov 6, 2019 17:54:08 GMT
I will help decorate and I will make cookies even though I can't eat them, but I will not go house to house to house to visit people. They all know where we live if they want to see us. Last year I was just way too sick to even enjoy this holidays and this year I just want to spend it at home with my family.
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