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Post by itschance on Nov 25, 2018 3:34:28 GMT
So rude when you take the time and soend your money on someone and you never get a thank you! So you sit there wondering if they ever got it.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,613 
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Nov 25, 2018 3:44:41 GMT
As with most things these days - manners have gone out the door as well. It is terribly rude and makes me think not to bother sending anything!
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Post by sunnyd on Nov 25, 2018 3:47:00 GMT
I hear ya! Send them a check next time. You'll know they got it when it clears your bank account.  |
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 25, 2018 3:50:38 GMT
I always told my boys that if someone took the time and effort to send them a gift then the least they could do is take 5 minutes and write a thank you note!
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,292
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Nov 25, 2018 3:58:44 GMT
That would be the last time I sent money to them.
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Post by mygigiscraps on Nov 25, 2018 5:41:03 GMT
I hear ya! Send them a check next time. You'll know they got it when it clears your bank account. Better yet, send them a card and spend the money on yourself. Then you'll know it was enjoyed and appreciated.  |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 25, 2018 5:50:30 GMT
There are several people who have been cut off our giving list before we normally would have because they weren’t very appreciative of the gifts (and even cash) we’ve given. So fine then, we will be happy to keep our money or spend it on someone else who is grateful. On the flip side of that coin, my DD thanks the lunch ladies that serve her lunch every day at school and wait staff in restaurants when they bring her food and refill her drink, so good manners aren’t totally dead yet!  We’ve always been pretty militant with writing thank you notes too, whether she has thanked the giver in person or not. |
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
Posts: 424
Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Nov 25, 2018 8:16:31 GMT
Yes, manners seem to a thing of the past for many these days. Of course, I'm generalizing here, and I know there are lots who do the right thing. I gave a gift at a wedding in July, and I've heard absolutely nothing - I have no idea if they even got it. But their wedding invitation did stipulate that they wanted money, not gifts, so I guess anyone who didn't abide by the request, just didn't warrant acknowledgement. I know another guest who did give them money, and he got a thank you card, so I can only assume my gift wasn't acceptable. hahaha And the bride is the daughter of my sons girlfriend. But given the type of girl she is, this was expected, and doesn't worry me a bit, in fact I'd have been surprised if I *had* got a note. And next time there's a tacky wedding invitation thread. I'll tell you the story of her invites - and the one I got. |
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Post by phoenixcov on Nov 25, 2018 10:19:10 GMT
Please start a thread SuPeaNatural, please don`t make me wait to know what was wrong with the invite.  I would of been annoyed not to of received conformation that gift had arrived, they would of got a call from me asking if the PO had delivered to them. Still no Thank you...I will save my money for someone who does appreciate a present. Can`t stand rude or entitled people. |
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Post by KelleeM on Nov 25, 2018 10:51:02 GMT
I hear ya! Send them a check next time. You'll know they got it when it clears your bank account. My sister and I were just talking bout this. In 2009 we attended our nephew’s out of state wedding. The checks cleared practically before we were home...still no thank you! |
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Post by atomicdog on Nov 25, 2018 10:57:23 GMT
I gave a niece, nephew and one of their very close friends each $50 when they graduated high school. We were at a family picnic at the time so they received it in person. Each one of them opened the card, looked at the money and just kept going. Not a thank you from any of them. Last time I'll ever do anything for them. Seems so petty, but just so wrong.
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Post by christine58 on Nov 25, 2018 11:24:40 GMT
So rude when you take the time and soend your money on someone and you never get a thank you! So you sit there wondering if they ever got it. I am still waiting for a wedding gift thank you and three graduation gift thank yous from this summer. |
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Post by dudleypippen on Nov 25, 2018 12:56:55 GMT
I might be able to overlook a forgotten thank you from a young kid or for something small- but a wedding present?!? Absolutely expected. I handwrote our thank you cards in the days immediately after our wedding. I’m not one to hold grudges but I will admit to judging people who don’t send thank you cards for wedding presents.
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
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Post by julieb on Nov 25, 2018 13:32:39 GMT
It certainly is frustrating, when it only takes minutes to write a thank you and seconds to send a text or message.
I make and send (they are many states away) my nephew's three children photo ornaments every year. I haven't received even a flippin' thank you by text, etc. the last few years.
3-4 years ago the oldest, who is now 13, sent me the most heartfelt thank you for her ornament. I really want to stop sending them, but it's hard because I don't think it is the kids' fault and I keep thinking about how she said she loves receiving her ornament every year.
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Post by lisae on Nov 25, 2018 13:39:02 GMT
I agree. I have a new policy for bridal and baby shower gifts. If I don't get a thank you note for the wedding gift, I will not be attending or gifting for the baby shower. Some gifts I don't think need a written note but there needs to be an expression of thanks in there somewhere.
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Post by gar on Nov 25, 2018 14:09:12 GMT
I have a family member who didn’t even thank (or have any sort of conversation with) the surviving spouse when they inherited from the other spouse who passed away. That hurt beyond measure ☹️🤐
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,731
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Post by purplebee on Nov 25, 2018 14:27:30 GMT
A huge pet peeve of mine. I sent a check as a wedding gift. They had my return address from the card. No acknowledgement whatsoever, but did have the ambition to endorse and cash the check.
Thank yous are just not a priority any more. I'm to the point now where I would be happy with a T/U text or FB message! I have a SIL who once mentioned "oh we don't do that" in a conversation re Thank Yous. I'm still growing back the hunk of my tongue I bit off trying not say how I really felt! Common courtesy is a lost art....
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 25, 2018 14:33:29 GMT
My MIL is the worst. I have stopped sending her gifts, except for the photo book I make her at Christmas. She has told me how much she loves it.
She is in AZ for half the year, so it's not like I am handing her a birthday gift or Mother's day or other.
The irony here? She is a stickler for RECEIVING a thank you note. I have often heard her complain about it.
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Post by mollycoddle on Nov 25, 2018 14:35:58 GMT
It’s irritating as hell.
I don’t need a formal thank you note. A verbal thanks, thanks by email or text is just fine.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 25, 2018 15:26:54 GMT
I agree. I have a new policy for bridal and baby shower gifts. If I don't get a thank you note for the wedding gift, I will not be attending or gifting for the baby shower. Some gifts I don't think need a written note but there needs to be an expression of thanks in there somewhere.  I'm doing the same exact thing. No thank you or acknowledgement of the wedding gift, then no baby gift. My assumption is that they didn't care for my gift so why bother to send something else they most likely won't care for.  While I typically don't mind a thank you via Facebook messenger (don't love them but trying to be understanding), there are certain gifts that just call for an actual thank you note. Things like that set of 8 wine glasses from Tiffany's to a very close friend's child, or that beautiful baby quilt/doll quilt/pillow I posted recently that went to a great niece. Still a little annoyed on that one. If there is a baby #2, there may or may not be a quilt. However, all hope isn't dead for thank you notes. I received a hand written note yesterday from my 5 year old great nephew for the Advent calendar I mailed him.  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 2:15:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 15:33:09 GMT
So rude when you take the time and soend your money on someone and you never get a thank you! So you sit there wondering if they ever got it. My DD&DSIL have not sent out thank you cards for their wedding gifts received late October, but they are planning to soon. She ordered and is waiting on thank you cards with wedding photos on them. Maybe there is some reason like this that you are still waiting...  |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 25, 2018 16:14:47 GMT
My MIL is the worst. I have stopped sending her gifts, except for the photo book I make her at Christmas. She has told me how much she loves it. She is in AZ for half the year, so it's not like I am handing her a birthday gift or Mother's day or other. The irony here? She is a stickler for RECEIVING a thank you note. I have often heard her complain about it. I have known some older people like that too and it’s a real head scratcher. If you expect to receive thank yous for the gifts you give, you darn well ought to be sending them yourself for the gifts you receive. Last time I checked there is no age limit for good manners or gratitude. I would almost be tempted to call someone out on that the next time they grouse saying, “Wow, that’s really interesting to hear you feel that strongly about it, since we haven’t received any thank you notes from YOU in the recent past...”  I will give young kids a bit more of a pass because it’s something that has to be taught to them. If the adults in their lives don’t put any importance on the practice, a kid just wouldn’t know or think to do it on their own. |
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Post by chaosisapony on Nov 25, 2018 16:22:48 GMT
I've noticed a trend here lately for wedding thank yous. The couple order photo Christmas cards and hand write on the back their thank you note. Obviously these notes can be quite late if it was a spring/summer wedding but I don't mind. I can appreciate them trying to save on postage and not waste so much paper. Plus, I love seeing the wedding photos included on the card.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 10, 2024 2:15:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 16:32:54 GMT
It takes 2 seconds to verbally say Thank You and maybe 2 min to write a thank you card. People are either lazy or were not taught manners.
My son who has autism, didn't talk until almost 5, and has medical conditions as well as MR was taught to sign and he would sign thank you.
The other day I went trough a drive thru to get an ice tea and the gal didn't say thank you. My son loudly and with a specific tone in his voice said thank you and she then was all oh yea um thank you. LOL
If I hold the door open and you dont say thank you, I call you out by loudly saying thank you would have been nice.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 25, 2018 17:22:45 GMT
DH and I were just talking about this last night. His kids are terrible about saying thank you and showing appreciation. He tries to correct them and role model good behavior when they are with us but I am afraid they spend a considerable amount of time with their mom who lacks manners and not enough time with us to be impactful.
On the other hand, my son, who has a terrible time showing emotion and empathy always says thank you. Of all the kids, he should be the least likely to show gratitude. But he does, every single time.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 25, 2018 17:25:18 GMT
There are several people who have been cut off our giving list before we normally would have because they weren’t very appreciative of the gifts (and even cash) we’ve given. So fine then, we will be happy to keep our money or spend it on someone else who is grateful. On the flip side of that coin, my DD thanks the lunch ladies that serve her lunch every day at school and wait staff in restaurants when they bring her food and refill her drink, so good manners aren’t totally dead yet!  We’ve always been pretty militant with writing thank you notes too, whether she has thanked the giver in person or not. My youngest is like this. He's 22 and can talk to anyone and is always thanking people for little things. I love this trait. |
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 25, 2018 18:39:34 GMT
I am good with a text or email. Just let me know you received it.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 25, 2018 20:19:05 GMT
It takes 2 seconds to verbally say Thank You and maybe 2 min to write a thank you card. People are either lazy or were not taught manners. My son who has autism, didn't talk until almost 5, and has medical conditions as well as MR was taught to sign and he would sign thank you. The other day I went trough a drive thru to get an ice tea and the gal didn't say thank you. My son loudly and with a specific tone in his voice said thank you and she then was all oh yea um thank you. LOL If I hold the door open and you dont say thank you, I call you out by loudly saying thank you would have been nice. I always say thank you if someone holds a door for me, and I’m surprised by how often the door holder is surprised that I say it. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 25, 2018 20:23:56 GMT
There are several people who have been cut off our giving list before we normally would have because they weren’t very appreciative of the gifts (and even cash) we’ve given. So fine then, we will be happy to keep our money or spend it on someone else who is grateful. On the flip side of that coin, my DD thanks the lunch ladies that serve her lunch every day at school and wait staff in restaurants when they bring her food and refill her drink, so good manners aren’t totally dead yet! We’ve always been pretty militant with writing thank you notes too, whether she has thanked the giver in person or not. My youngest is like this. He's 22 and can talk to anyone and is always thanking people for little things. I love this trait. I love it too. I also notice that for her age (8) she tends to get a LOT more respect from adults because she is so polite. I think she has already seen that extending a little courtesy often gets you much better treatment in general. |
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 25, 2018 20:27:51 GMT
I am good with a text or email. Just let me know you received it. I think this is a good compromise for people who "don't get writing thank-you notes." It takes one tenth the time and effort of an actual hand written note that is mailed. I also think that brides AND grooms expect people to take time out of their time off, attend a (generally boring) function (often with travel), and give a nice gift. In return, a handwritten note is really the way to go. Postage and three minutes of your time is a small price to pay. In our house, my husband wrote thank-you notes to his family and friends and I wrote mine. Much faster to split up the chore and the relatives/friends really want the note to be from the person they know. However, I am thinking I maybe get a thank-you 30% of the time. |
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We’ve always been pretty militant with writing thank you notes too, whether she has thanked the giver in person or not.
I'm doing the same exact thing. No thank you or acknowledgement of the wedding gift, then no baby gift. My assumption is that they didn't care for my gift so why bother to send something else they most likely won't care for. 
