iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,291 
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Dec 11, 2018 12:53:04 GMT
For me, I wouldn't say dread, it's not horrible, just awkward. My BIL and SIL have been married for 21 years and have been unhappy together for at least the last ten years. But despite no children and no religious reasons etc, they are still together. He wants out but she doesn't and begs him to stay so he does. Every couple of years it seems like he will finally do it, but then she begs and he stays. In any case, when we get together he is clearly miserable and doesn't talk much and mostly just to dh. She does but mostly to me and they never talk to each other until it's time to go and he says "ready to go?". It's weird and uncomfortable. It's just them, dh, dd and I so a small gathering so very noticeable.
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Post by Freefallfast on Dec 11, 2018 12:55:50 GMT
All of them! LOL! Just kidding. Now that some members of the family are unable to attend we should be good. Ive also let go of high expectations of a TV perfect holiday with family. I do like getting together with friends!
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Post by mellowyellow on Dec 11, 2018 13:27:33 GMT
Well it depends. With both sides of our family, you just never know when drama will unfold. I just sit back, try to enjoy the festivities and hope nothing happens. Thanksgiving was good for both sides. Can we go 2 for 2? Fingers crossed!
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hippypea
Full Member
Just here for the FLUFF!!
Posts: 153
Jun 25, 2014 23:12:52 GMT
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Post by hippypea on Dec 11, 2018 13:32:51 GMT
Our first big family gathering since my dad passed is on Saturday and I am majorly dreading it.
Over the years, I have developed anti-social, home-body tendencies, and I hate leaving my house, plus I hate winter time ... and now I am REALLY not looking forward to the holidays, or the gatherings. I am going to drive my mom there, because it's an hour away so I am really only going for her. It's her side of the family that hosts this get together, she's one of 10 kids, plus all of THEIR kids and so on and so forth. (My dad was an only child and there's no gathering of his family/cousins etc) So it's a large group of people, but as much as I love them all, I just don't want to be there. My DH never goes, that's a whole separate issue.
It's going to be really hard. At the party last year, they had a photographer there and she took one of the last pics of our family together, with my dad.
I don't even want to do Christmas this year. I really, really do not.
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Post by wordfish on Dec 11, 2018 14:08:42 GMT
Nope and it is glorious.
Nothing is ever going to top the year I threw my daughter's father-in-law out of my house on Christmas Eve. I really hope not, anyway. That was horrible. It shocked everybody, including myself.
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Post by PolarGreen12 on Dec 11, 2018 14:42:22 GMT
There's only one I don't really like going to and it's a friend of the family's Cookie Exchange party. It's just awkward and I'm not sure why she really has it. She always acts like it was such a pain to do. But she doesn't really do anything to prepare for it. She buys Walmart cookies for hers, she will set out two cans of pop, for about 8 guests, and let people know there is water. Last year there was a plate of about 10 pieces of some kind pf frozen appetizer. Pretty sure it was still frozen. Then the even more awkward part is once we are there and everyone puts their cookies on the table, that is about all there is to it. She doesn't "host" at all.
Thankfully this year she is not having it!!
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Dec 11, 2018 14:44:38 GMT
I’m pretty exhausted by our standard 3-4 days at my mom’s house, but the kids love it so I will continue to clench my teeth through Christmas. And drink. I will drink.
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Post by compeateropeator on Dec 11, 2018 14:54:17 GMT
No, other than by Christmas Eve (which is also my birthday) we are pretty much done. I wish we could spread it out a little bit more, but that is not possible at this time. I have to work on Christmas so it really doesn’t matter...
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Post by giatocj on Dec 11, 2018 15:00:41 GMT
I am complete introvert and not a big fan of gatherings of any kind, so this time of year is hard for me. I enjoy the 6 other people I work with, but I dread our annual holiday dinner every year and that's coming up on the 20th. I don't do "small talk" so I find it very awkward to hang out with them at a personal level. I also have a hard time at our Christmas Eve get together with my in-laws, although I adore them all so much. But seriously, 20 loud Sicilians in one small house make my ears ring and my head hurt for days  . Everyone talks at once and the volume just escalates...add alcohol to the mix and fuggedaboutit!! It's madness. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 11, 2018 15:35:57 GMT
Not so much anymore now that our parents are all gone. We have much less of the fake family togetherness show to put on and I love it. We sometimes get invited to SIL’s house for NYE for a few hours which is awkward but tolerable. We’ve pushed back hard enough that we only have to see them a couple times a year now, and we tell ourselves that we can deal for a couple hours, LOL. They are all odd and their kids have nonexistent manners and horrible behavior, so much so that even our kid recognizes it and says something about it later on after we leave! We keep thinking, “Now that they’re getting older they won’t be so bad...” And every year they prove us wrong.
For the most part, we see the people we want to see around the holidays and almost everything else gets a hard pass.
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Post by shevy on Dec 11, 2018 17:49:55 GMT
All. Of. Them. Anxiety & depression . I literally need meds to be able to go for a few hours. |
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Post by papersilly on Dec 11, 2018 18:31:46 GMT
not so much the party but the drive. we are going to a party this saturday that will entail a 2 hour drive in slow traffic. if there wasn't traffic, it would be 45 minutes but with So Cal weekend/holiday traffic, we will crawl our way to the party.
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Post by tara595 on Dec 11, 2018 19:04:29 GMT
so funny... I thought I was the only one! The 22nd we have a family party at a rich cousin's house. I know there will be so much alcohol (not fun for the one who doesn't really drink) My cousin's husband is a big drinker and loves to show off so I can't even imagine what will go on. And then my crazy aunt just loves to show off about how much money they have and how beautiful their house is and how her daughter cooked everything, blah, blah, blah.....
ALSO, getting the kids to leave will be hell. My kids are little so they're usually in bed by 7:30 - 8:00. I'll give it until 9 but even that will be difficult. I know DH won't want to leave. I'm already planning the talk I have to give him beforehand.
Can you tell I'm dreading it??
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,665
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Dec 11, 2018 19:10:23 GMT
No way. We stopped making all the rounds and only go to my cousins house for lunch, to play cards, and for cocktails. The rest of the time we stay home in p-jams.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 9:48:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2018 19:23:28 GMT
We don’t get invited anywhere, if my husband does get an invite he forgets to tell me about it. If he does accept, he will stay at work until the the party is just about over and it is too late to go. If we do happen to go , it is always to a party where everybody is 15/20 years old than we are. Not fun.
ON THE VERY BRIGHT SIDE!
My husband is walking almost normally, from his back surgery last year, so this year is so much more calm.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 9:48:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2018 19:24:54 GMT
Probably the work gatherings, because there are so many of them, for different areas. One for the entire hospital, one for the union, two different ones for my old departments, and one for my current dept. TOO many!!  |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Dec 11, 2018 19:38:55 GMT
The whole thing: four days, five nights in wintertime Ohio where the sun never shines. My father is very sick with brain cancer, my mom is stressed, my siblings and I are depressed and I'll be sleeping on an inflatable mattress at my in-laws' house. I love all my family, but I'm wishing I could contract pneumonia on December 20.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Dec 11, 2018 19:42:09 GMT
All. Of. Them. Anxiety & depression . I literally need meds to be able to go for a few hours. Honey, I refilled my Ativan Rx today. I completely understand and I'm sorry it has to be so hard--for both of us! |
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Post by LuvAgoodPaddle on Dec 11, 2018 19:42:27 GMT
I wasn't until just an hour ago. Each year a bunch of girlfriends get together for a little holiday party. Usually a white elephant gift type of thing. We moved out of state, so the hostess said they would facetime me this year. OK, that's pretty cool to think of me and I was looking forward to a quick call to say HI and Merry Christmas to everyone tonight. The hostess texted me a little while ago saying they are playing a game, I need to text her 4 facts about myself and do some kind of online test/quiz thing. Ummmmm NO! I do not want to do any of that, let alone stay on the phone that long tonight during these "games". I kind of feel like a grinch that I am annoyed by this, but I am. I'm horrible with coming up with stuff like this about myself, let alone at the last minute. How long has everyone else known about this and had time to think about it? All of us have known each other for many, many years so it's not like this is easy to come with something someone doesn't know about you. We have a winter storm warning today, so maybe I can lose power and wifi tonight?   |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 11, 2018 19:51:36 GMT
I wasn't until just an hour ago. Each year a bunch of girlfriends get together for a little holiday party. Usually a white elephant gift type of thing. We moved out of state, so the hostess said they would facetime me this year. OK, that's pretty cool to think of me and I was looking forward to a quick call to say HI and Merry Christmas to everyone tonight. The hostess texted me a little while ago saying they are playing a game, I need to text her 4 facts about myself and do some kind of online test/quiz thing. Ummmmm NO! I do not want to do any of that, let alone stay on the phone that long tonight during these "games". I kind of feel like a grinch that I am annoyed by this, but I am. I'm horrible with coming up with stuff like this about myself, let alone at the last minute. How long has everyone else known about this and had time to think about it? All of us have known each other for many, many years so it's not like this is easy to come with something someone doesn't know about you. We have a winter storm warning today, so maybe I can lose power and wifi tonight? Just say no. I would HATE being on the phone that long. I hate when DH's sister calls on Christmas Eve and has to talk to every single person. Ugh. |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 11, 2018 19:52:18 GMT
The whole thing: four days, five nights in wintertime Ohio where the sun never shines. My father is very sick with brain cancer, my mom is stressed, my siblings and I are depressed and I'll be sleeping on an inflatable mattress at my in-laws' house. I love all my family, but I'm wishing I could contract pneumonia on December 20. Aw, Mystie, I am sorry. That sounds very stressful. Is there any chance you could stay in a hotel at least? |
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Post by LuvAgoodPaddle on Dec 11, 2018 20:05:43 GMT
Just say no. I would HATE being on the phone that long. I hate when DH's sister calls on Christmas Eve and has to talk to every single person. Ugh. I didn't straight out say No, but I told her I didn't want to come up with 4 facts this short of notice and to just make a quick call to me before they play their games and then they can continue on with their fun when I'm done saying Hi. I do not need to be a part of all that. Her reply was - Oh, I have an online quiz with questions for you and it will be fun! Totally ignored what I said, UGH! I was trying to be sort of polite and I know it's all in good fun, but I just do not want to do this so last minute or stay on the phone that long. There's probably going to be at least 12 people there, so any game won't be short. I haven't responded to her last text and I may just accidentally have my phone off the rest of the day. If they call tonight, great...but I may have never received any quiz, oops. |
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Dec 11, 2018 20:30:55 GMT
I wasn't until just an hour ago. Each year a bunch of girlfriends get together for a little holiday party. Usually a white elephant gift type of thing. We moved out of state, so the hostess said they would facetime me this year. OK, that's pretty cool to think of me and I was looking forward to a quick call to say HI and Merry Christmas to everyone tonight. The hostess texted me a little while ago saying they are playing a game, I need to text her 4 facts about myself and do some kind of online test/quiz thing. Ummmmm NO! I do not want to do any of that, let alone stay on the phone that long tonight during these "games". I kind of feel like a grinch that I am annoyed by this, but I am. I'm horrible with coming up with stuff like this about myself, let alone at the last minute. How long has everyone else known about this and had time to think about it? All of us have known each other for many, many years so it's not like this is easy to come with something someone doesn't know about you. We have a winter storm warning today, so maybe I can lose power and wifi tonight? Just say no. I would HATE being on the phone that long. I hate when DH's sister calls on Christmas Eve and has to talk to every single person. Ugh. I thought my brother was the only one who calls on holidays! Always in the middle of opening presents. One year, I was going to let the call go to the answering machine and call him back when it was convenient for me, but my mother and DH thought I was being rude. He's the rude one to me, to be calling at 10am on Christmas morning. |
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Post by huskermom98 on Dec 11, 2018 20:36:20 GMT
I think the worst is almost over--trying to set a date with one part of the family. It's getting harder to coordinate a date that works for my family coming out of state (and going to 2 other gatherings) and one brother. We've had to just accept that we can't all get together at the same time any more.
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Post by Really Red on Dec 11, 2018 20:49:36 GMT
Nope and it is glorious. Nothing is ever going to top the year I threw my daughter's father-in-law out of my house on Christmas Eve. I really hope not, anyway. That was horrible. It shocked everybody, including myself. but, but, but... you're not going to leave us hanging are you? What happened? |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 11, 2018 21:57:44 GMT
I’m pretty exhausted by our standard 3-4 days at my mom’s house, but the kids love it so I will continue to clench my teeth through Christmas. And drink. I will drink. Can you cut down the time to 2 days? And still drink. |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 11, 2018 21:59:34 GMT
We will be in Florida before Christmas and then I have a few days to wrap and prepare and then it will be with just my immediate family. I spent too many holidays very unhappy away from home and ever since we stopped traveling they have been awesome.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Dec 11, 2018 22:24:00 GMT
The whole thing: four days, five nights in wintertime Ohio where the sun never shines. My father is very sick with brain cancer, my mom is stressed, my siblings and I are depressed and I'll be sleeping on an inflatable mattress at my in-laws' house. I love all my family, but I'm wishing I could contract pneumonia on December 20. Aw, Mystie, I am sorry. That sounds very stressful. Is there any chance you could stay in a hotel at least? Nope, my husband will not spring for a hotel, even though it would knock my stress level down about 50%. In fairness to him, we do have some big expenses coming up early next year, plus Christmas costs. But a hotel would help hugely. |
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Post by ladytrisha on Dec 11, 2018 22:33:58 GMT
We're lucky that it's just us.
The worst was when BIL and SIL had announced they were divorcing but still wanted to have the Christmas Eve dinner. It'll be fine they said - really.
We had our doubts, so they put on a "rehearsal" dinner the week before to show us they could do it.
We get to Christmas Eve at their house and it's tense. They've invited friends (ever notice you can love family but not their friends?) and there are now 2 "camps" in the house - 1 for BIL (us and my MIL and her troll boyfriend - MIL has mild dementia at this point and gets pissy - quickly) and my SIL's family (annoying bio-father and friends). Aside from totally spacing on setting a place at the table for MIL and her troll boyfriend (which amped up MIL), BIL and SIL are drinking continuously (and more) so it progressively got worse. MIL and troll announced they were leaving; and we looked at each other and decided to bail out too. SIL got angry we were leaving, made a smartass comment that she didn't think I could hear and I exploded. My BIL told me later, after the divorce, that it was the best thing he'd ever seen (and I yelled at him too). My now ex-SIL have known each other since we were 10 so we are still family - and honestly they are so much happier without each other. But she found out that I can only be pushed so far and then I'm done.
We just really enjoy quiet holidays now. I don't even go to the work parties my company puts on.
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Post by lexilu on Dec 11, 2018 22:51:07 GMT
Yes. I'm having Christmas Eve at my house. I've been having Christmas Eve dinner for my family for 30 yrs .... this will be my 31st yr. I hope my daughter buys a house in 2019 and we'll celebrate at her new house. I wouldn't mind having the family over every other year. It's just so much work and I don't enjoy the holiday. December 26th is my favorite day of the year.
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. Everyone talks at once and the volume just escalates...add alcohol to the mix and fuggedaboutit!! It's madness.
