Share your most embarrassing holiday stories!

(I've probably shared this story here at some point, so if it sounds familiar, don't feel obligated to read)

One day shortly before Christmas, a girlfriend and I were getting together for our annual cookie baking day. We popped some slivered almonds in the oven to toast and then got to giggling about something and burned them to a crisp, so we headed to the nearest grocery store.

It was a store I wasn't familiar with, so I told my friend I was going to ask where I could find the almonds. I marched right up to the front of the store where half the city was picking up last minute baking supplies and asked the young man standing at the front bagging groceries "Excuse me, Where are your nuts?".

I have a relatively loud voice that carries well, so EVERY single human within a 50 foot radius heard me and I prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me right there. The other customers were giggling, the cashiers were turning purple trying not to laugh and the poor young man whose nuts I had just inquired about looked like he might die of embarrassment himself as he quietly mumbled "Aisle 2". It was years before I was able to show my face at that store again...

I have a story about my first bra too. Not Christmas related though. I was in 8th grade too and NOT developing. Everyone else was and had their new bras except me. Granted, I didn’t need one but that was beside the point. My mom told me I didn’t need one and that was that. 

Not it one to take no for an answer, I figured out a way to get one any way. We lived about 15 miles from downtown. My bff had a bra and I wanted one too. So, I called the department store in town and ordered one. It was about 1963. A few days later here comes the big box truck to our house with my teeny tiny package. Back then you could pay c.o.d. and I paid cash for my prized possession gladly with babysitting money. I was so proud of myself. 😊

Like your story, mine is also about 8th grade "developing".  Of all days of the year, I got my very first period on Christmas morning.  Those were the days when long distant calls were normally reserved for holidays and so my mother took this opportunity to tell everyone that called.  She left out no detail including laughing and telling about my crying over it and everything. UGH!!!!!

Christmas 2013. My kids were 10 months, 3, and 4. We got up on Christmas Eve, and went about our day. For most of the day everything was pretty much fine. Hubs was getting over a bug, but he had been symptom free for a few days. The kids were all perfectly fine. My daughter, the 4 year old, was adamant that we go to mass to celebrate baby Jesus’ birthday and sing Christmas songs with everyone else. So, we all got all showered and all dressed up. Before we left, we spent about 10 minutes taking pictures in front of the tree. We failed to notice that our 3 year old son had become uncharacteristically quiet and still in our haste to make it to church. Then we packed everyone into the van and headed for the church.

When we got to church it was packed of course. We had to squish our way into the chapel so that we didn’t have to stand in the entryway and get blasted with snow and wind the whole night. We were standing on one of the walls when a lovely couple hopped up and offered us their seats. We gladly took them, and happily sat. The baby was enthralled by the nail polish on the lady next to me. Our daughter was singing Christmas carols. And our 3 year old was tucked in tight into his dad’s armpit. That was...odd. But whatever, the kid was actually sitting still and being quiet and hat NEVER happened. So we went with it.

15 minutes into mass and the 3 year old starts to act really weird. There was some significant squirming, and feet kicking. Then there were the random sounds that he’s making that we’d never heard before. Hubs and I look at each other and try and get him to calm down and be quiet. Our son finally quiets and tucks back into my husband’s arm. He pats him on the head and gives him a hug. A few minutes later, our 3 year old lifts his head and looks at me and then my husband. We both look at him, and then quickly look at each other. My husband says, “Does he look weird to...”

And before he can finish his sentence and I can nod in agreement, our three year old son started wretching. Loudly. I’m the middle of a very large and quiet church packed full of people. It ECHOED. My husband scooped him up and pressed our sons face into his chest and shouted “Meet me at the car in 5!” as he literally threw the keys at me. He sprinted for the door. Our son gagged and vomited the entire way out the church. I have never seen that many people get out of the way so fast in a church on Christmas Eve in my whole life. It was a sight to behold.

So I’m sitting there in the pew pretty stunned by what had just happened. And then the lady next to me who had been happily playing with my baby frantically starts tossing baby toys at me and the diaper bag and all but shoved us away from her. I grab the baby and his things, and the now hysterical 4 year old and drag them out of the church. Our daughter was so upset that we didn’t get to stay for the blowing out of the candles and a slice of the birthday cake.

We make it down the hill and around the corner through about a foot of snow to where the car was parked. And there, standing in front of the open trunk holding trash bags, was my husband, standing in his boxers and his undershirt and dress shoes. Our son was stripped down to his undies, covered in vomit, and absolutely hysterical, buckled into his car seat. Our 4 year old daughter was still having a fit about missing Jesus’ birthday cake and the piñata, and the baby was staring at me with giant eyes.

And I burst out laughing. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed! It was the funniest goddamn thing I have ever seen happen in my entire life. I laughed so hard that i fell down into the snow in my Christmas dress and my heels. I laughed the whole way home in the car. I laughed the next day. I still laugh about this whenever I think of it.

These are hilarious! Thank you OP for this thread. I have 2 stories, not necessarily embarrassing but worth telling.

When I was growing up, my father ran his own pharmacy. He worked too hard, smoked, and was always ill over Christmas. One miserable year he had bronchitis, but struggled out of bed for Christmas dinner in his dressing gown and slippers, looking haggard. We had a bottle of perry that we had won at a scout fête raffle, and he decided to open it. He took the wires off, and put the bottle on the table, and we all watched in shock as the cork worked its own way out of the bottle, shot out, bounced off the ceiling and landed in the gravy boat, liberally dousing us all in hot gravy. Dad got a coughing fit and had to go back to bed. My poor mother.

My first Christmas away from home was at age 19 with my boyfriend and his 3 kids (11 and twins of 9) in a brand new tiny house, cooking for 5. That was hard enough, but at the end of the day we were playing board games on the floor and one of the kids spilled a drink on the new carpet. I grabbed a tea towel off the radiator to mop it up, and got hit in the face with a jet of boiling water shooting out of the faulty radiator. Happy days.

My mother did that, it was the last time I ever confided in her. I was 10.

What a fabulous thread....wish I had a Story to tell

Last Christmas, I had all of the grown kids and their families over for Christmas dinner. I was busy getting the meal prepared and it was almost time to eat so I sent my son (who was 24) into the bedroom to grab the extra office chair. He comes rolling out into the kitchen and says in the most childlike voice but still very much out loud "Mommy . . . what are these for". He had the "restraint straps" which were attached to the chair wrapped around his wrists. I had forgotten they were still attached from a few weeks back when my husband and I were having a play night. I quickly made up a story about using those to strap on a booster seat for the kids but not a single one of my adult children was convinced. I think I may have scarred them for life.

OMG, you win!