Help me with how to respond to this

Will try to make this short, but y'all need some backstory, and you know I am never succinct. You've been warned, LOL

I have been close with my BFF for over 5 years. She's part of our family, she even says my family treats her better than her own (one year my kids got her something for Christmas and her own kids didn't because they are selfish). We jokingly call her my sister wife and my kids refer to her as Mom2.

We helped her through a divorce and two years ago she met this guy. To put it mildly, neither me, my family, or our other friend like this guy. He is almost 49 years old and is nothing but a mooch. He was just coming off a "seasonal job" when they met.

So dude can read her like a book and says all the things she has been wanting to hear etc etc. He showers her with all the flowery words and physical affection and next thing we know he has convinced her to elope without her children or any friends knowing (like 2 months after they started seeing one another).

So my other friend and I are seeing these huge red flags, like him texting constantly while she's out with us. She occasionally will see she's being used, but then he distracts her with sex and home repairs.

Now the problem I have today:
A couple of weeks ago they found a mass during a colonoscopy and turns out it is cancerous. She was having surgery this morning.

I offered to be there this morning, I could move an appointment my Dad had, but she said no, there was no reason for me to just sit in a waiting room all day. I said ok, as long as her DH would keep me updated on what's going on, when she went to recovery, to a room etc. I received a promise of updates etc.

Y'all know where this is going, don't you? Yep. Radio silence all day. I don't have his phone number so we sent a message via our group chat, figuring he was reading all of her texts like he always does. No reply.

I sent her son a text asking if he had any information, and he was in the dark.(He's still in high school and mom didn't want him to miss.)

I called the hospital at 3pm to see if I could just talk to her on the phone and they said she hadn't been put in a room yet (she was headed back to surgery just after 730 this am).

So our other friend finally tracked his phone number down and sent him a text basically saying "hey, we haven't heard anything and we're concerned, how's she doing?" And instead of just answering he started sending these bullshit cryptic messages.

My DH finally sent him a text and it showed he read it, but dude never bothered to answer. So DH called the hospital and said he was trying to send her something and needed her room number.

So Peas, if you have hung in there this far, what can I say to him that isn't going to upset my friend but will let her DH know exactly how I feel about him? My DH said "eat shit and die" wasn't appropriate.

The proper Southern girl in me knows I should just say "bless your heart" and move on, but I think that will go right over his head. I guess I will have to bite my tongue so I don't upset BFF but I really wish I could tell him exactly how I feel. Hopefully, he can tell by the loathing vibes that radiate from me whenever he's around.

I feel better having gotten this off my chest, much less stabby. However, I would appreciate any words of advice on how to deal with dude. I know that our other friends solution of finding a pig farm to make the problem go away probably isn't a viable solution.