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Post by gailoh on Dec 16, 2018 23:34:51 GMT
Hugs and enjoy your family tonight
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 16, 2018 23:37:54 GMT
I am very glad to read your update. I am so sorry that your siblings think it is kind, helpful or appropriate to laugh at the way your mother treats you. I hope you step back, take care of the family that treats you with the kindness and respect you deserve and let your siblings step up in regards to your mother. I am sorry about the loss of your father. Enjoy your day with your husband!
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,530
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Dec 16, 2018 23:40:22 GMT
Great update. Enjoy your family time!
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Post by leslie132 on Dec 16, 2018 23:44:16 GMT
Love the end of the update!!!
Enjoy your family time. That is how family should speak to each other and enjoy each other!!!
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Post by cadoodlebug on Dec 16, 2018 23:49:24 GMT
Great update!!
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on Dec 16, 2018 23:57:04 GMT
You finally did what should have been done years ago. Honestly, I don't think you should apologize for anything. Your mother would think you were apologizing for what you SAID, NOT for yelling.
It would probably be best for HER to be walking on eggshells around you. Maybe she'll start treating you like a human being. Stay away, you have other siblings, it is THEIR turn to do something. Wanna bet how long it takes before your sister loses HER $hit on your mother? If she hangs around long enough. She definitely won't make over 6 months before losing it like you did!
People like your mother will push and push and they will only back off when they realize YOU will not take it anymore.
I'd like to slap your relatives silly for making jokes that YOU are her whipping boy and letting you do all that work and not relieving you. I think the only way you'll win this is that when you do go back over there, make it clear that she will treat you well or you'll leave. And then LEAVE is she does start in on you.
Good luck!
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Post by Really Red on Dec 17, 2018 0:43:59 GMT
I was SO happy to read your update!!!! It sounds like you are in a good place and both your DH and your DD appreciate you. YAY!!! Stay strong!
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,184
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Dec 17, 2018 0:49:51 GMT
I’m glad you are having some good family time. Enjoy today and take some more time before you contact anyone. You don’t need to apologize, but if you do, make it clear that you are sorry only for yelling - not for the content.
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lurkyloo
Full Member
Posts: 284
Dec 5, 2018 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by lurkyloo on Dec 17, 2018 1:02:45 GMT
Your update makes me happy!!
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Post by hop2 on Dec 17, 2018 5:11:11 GMT
me. My husband just said to me “Do you realize this is the first time since April that the four of us have been in this house at the same time for more than a few minutes?” So we’re baking cookies, ordering pizza and watching movies. THAT is a good update! Enjoy your time with your family! Hugs
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,395
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Dec 17, 2018 7:56:58 GMT
She should have been told years ago. My mother was just like this. I walked away and would have nothing to do with her. Very liberating. My dad shed 20 years when she died. He was a new man.
Why do we allow people to dictate, walk all over us, criticise everything from the way we slice an onion to the way we iron a shirt? Just because they are blood relatives, it does not entitle them to be this way.
Don't allow other family members to put you in the wrong. You have gone beyond the call of duty.
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Post by mcscrapper on Dec 17, 2018 9:09:30 GMT
I honestly do not think you have anything to apologize for nor should you feel like a bitch. You have probably bitten your tongue more times than you'll ever be able to count and had just reached your limit with her. I think all women have issues with her mother at some point. I know I certainly have.
I am so happy to hear you had a great night in with your family. It sounds like it was long, long overdue!!! And much deserved!
Merry Christmas!!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Dec 17, 2018 17:50:01 GMT
I know how hard it is to set boundaries with loved ones. I am working on that with my adult children. Even recently, their treatment of me has not been all that good, especially my 18-year-old son. I think they’re jaws hit the floor when I quickly packed up and moved across the country. I think that it will ultimately improve our relationship as they will hopefully now appreciate me. We can’t let family members treat us poorly just because they are family. The way the kids talk to me sometimes is very hurtful. It comes from long established patterns though so it will be hard to break. They are meeting my new man this week for the first time and I just pray to God that everything goes well. If they disrespect me in our new home, he will not put up with it for a hot minute. I understand that you finally had to set firm boundaries with your own mother. I would not feel guilty about it. Sounds like it was a long time coming. I would try to mend fences as best you can but it needs to be a two-way street. I hope you can enjoy the holidays with your family.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,206
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Dec 17, 2018 18:12:45 GMT
I just read your post and update for the first time. Sounds to me like you hit your breaking point and couldn't take it one more minute. Honestly you put up with it far longer than I would have been able to.
You've gotten some great pea advice but just wanted to send you a hug. Sorry for the passing of your dad.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 17, 2018 18:23:18 GMT
Good update!! Stand your ground! Let others sit/be with/take care of mom!!
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Post by bbkeef on Dec 17, 2018 18:45:55 GMT
“Do you realize this is the first time since April that the four of us have been in this house at the same time for more than a few minutes?” So we’re baking cookies, ordering pizza and watching movies. You NEEDED a break. So glad you got to spend time at YOUR home. Hugs and best wishes. Please keep us updated. Do you talk with your sister often?
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