Vent: Exchanging gifts is the worst.

I don’t participate anymore. I’ve felt exactly as you feel.

Move over and make room on that bench for me. I just don't get it.

I feel for ya. I did that for years when I worked in an office cause it was the thing that everybody did and if you didn't participate you looked like a Grinch. But years of random shit that I'll never use and can't regift (cause ain't nobody wants that shit) I finally decided enough already and stopped doing it.

And yes, I was the person shopping carefully for your gift who got the soaps wrapped like tiny ass watermelons in exchange.

I really think it is about taking a few minutes to figure out what someone likes.  I can't tell you the number of times that I see people on FB (and here) that suggest someone just buys the person a Starbucks gift card because everyone loves SB.  Nope, they don't.  Another big one is the Kohl's throws (which I would be fine with, but others not so much).  Gifting a bottle of wine is also a risky if someone hates wine.  You just gotta do your research and ask a few people.  One of my favorite gifts from a classroom kid was a 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew (cold).  It sat on my desk on Christmas with half a dozen mugs and packages of coffee that I never drank.  I could never figure out how kids didn't realize I never drank coffee.  I get that parents didn't know, but their kid saw me every day trying to caffeinate myself enough to keep up with 30 ten year olds.

I totally agree with you. It's always annoying when someone brings a $5 gift or a regift to a gift exchange. I always come in at or over the minimum value. Most gift exchanges are low enough that there's no reason to be a cheap ass.

I can't comment on the gift exchange since thankfully I don't have to participate in one of those. But...the part that I bolded in your quote... I say this ALL THE TIME about substitute teaching. I have gone into a new school and sometimes after I'm there only 30 minutes or so (especially if it's a job that's visible to other teachers such as an assistant in a room with the main teacher or a resource teacher who goes into a class where the regular teacher is there) and I'll have teachers saying "oh please leave us your contact info, you're great!" And what have I done to earn this "great" label? I've shown up a bit early, I've said good morning, I've read the plans, if I'm in a room with another teacher I've asked what they'd like me to do to get the day started, I've said good morning to the kids, etc. NOTHING that any substitute teacher shouldn't do. All day long I'll hear this. But really..how hard is it to show up on time and follow the lesson plan that the teacher has taken so much time to put together?? Bonus points if you actually like kids (and of course you shouldn't be doing a job like substitute teaching if you don't like kids). Of course we don't make much money. But we chose this job so it's on us to at least try to do it well. 

So yeah...I wonder about that all the time when I hear what teachers say about some substitutes. 

In a set $$ amount gift exchange and you dont know the person well enough to not give them a bunch of junk, get a damned gift card . They are everywhere it’s not that hard!


My niece did that once to my DD when niece was a college freshman. She gave my DS a 6$ old navy shirt to a $30 gift exchange ( I did not set the price ) She learned her lesson quickly thank god. She’s a pretty good gifter & thank you note writer now

Yep exactly & it's also why I don't participate!

The last secret Santa I was in, we had a set amount of $15. My person gave me a $5 gift card.

I am always grateful if someone thinks of me, I expect nothing from anyone & I'm still happy...but enough was enough lol.

My child was in a gift exchange this year and it really opened my eyes. She is very literal and read the rules as such. It was a $5 limit. Not $5. But a limit of $5. She found an awesome $2 gift and was done. I was like, no, no, no $3 more. We had a huge fight about it in Target with me trying to "steal" my $3 from her. Yeah. That. So after a little come to Jesus about the fact that she doesn't have a job and my $5 was my $5 and how $5 was the limit and what that means I think we finally got it that $5 is the price and that should she participate in these events in the future it should be expected that the gift range is $5 to $5.

Here's my best secret Santa gift for work which is always about $20. Around Veteran's Day Kate Spade will have a 70% off sale. Get the little credit card wallet for $20. Or any other little Kate Spade little wallet for about $20. I spend $20. It looks like I spent more than $20. It is always hotly contested in the Yankee Swap/Dirty Santa game and year after year the person who gets it comes up to me and tells me it was the best gift ever. I've done this for about the last 5 years. When I knew we were moving away I stocked up so I have two left. DH takes them too and always looks like a super star.

Fortunately I don't have to do those exchanges most years. This year I was able to make the December luncheon of a group that eats out monthly. $25 limit on the gift exchange, so I took a dozen macaron from the best shop in town which cost exactly $25. I came home with a pretty picture frame that sells for $10 on Amazon. I will actually use this frame (I stole it from someone else), but that usually isn't the case. Most of the time I end up with a dud that goes straight into the donation box. If you are going to participate, you have to go into them with the idea that you will get junk and then be pleasantly surprised if you end up with something decent.

Interesting that your thrift store does exchanges.  Ours doesn't.  Everything is final sale.  There are times I bought something (craft kits), got it home and there was something missing inside.  Now I have them let me open it at the register to verify it is complete before I'll buy it.  

There is also nothing worse then putting a lot of effort or thought into the gift and the recipient treating it like it came from the dollar tree clearance bin.  That happened with me and my sister a few years ago. Her tastes had changed and I didn't fully realize it.  Also with me everyone seems to think because I am married to a pastor I must want Jesus/Bible chotizkies but yeah no really.  So truly sometimes people try their hardest and are perceived as not.

My poor husband started a job with a new firm this year and they held a gift exchange. 25.00 limit. Let me start with HE DID NOT ASK MY ADVICE. He was at an event earlier this year and loved these Swedish dish towels that harden up and then soften with water and are kind of reusable paper towels. He thought they were the coolest things ever. But they look seriously cheap. And only cost like 7 bucks (Three bluebirds is the name of the company - stuff is adorable.) He got to the exchange and saw people had Stonewall Kitchen baskets and much fancier things and he felt awful. So, not everyone is necessarily cheap or lazy - sometimes they just make mistakes. Luckily, before he knew they had a gift exchange, he had already purchased spatulas for everyone in the office from No Kid Hungry (our daughter works there), so he gave one to everyone and it seemed to make up for his penny ante gift exchange choice. And I bet he asks me for help next year.

Ugh my teenage son has gotten hosed the last two years.  This year a group of six exchanged gifts with a $20 recommendation.  He got something worth about $5.  The year before a group did SS during school and he got squat.

I think if an office adopted a family, it would be fairly easy to choose things off a list of things the family needs at a variety of price points that fit with different employee’s budgets. I wouldn’t feel bad buying $5 cozy socks that some kid NEEDS if that’s all I can afford, where I would feel bad buying the same gift for someone in an office gift exchange who can buy that themselves and thinks I’m just being cheap.