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Post by kelly316 on Sept 29, 2014 17:23:34 GMT
I don't know why I'm thinking about this today, as thankfully I don't have to deal with her any longer. When I had my child, we had just moved into a house. I had been nesting and the place was spotless, but not all of my pictures were hung. I went to the hospital straight from my doctor appointment. My MIL said she stopped by the house and cleaned everything so the baby would come home to a clean house. She also said she changed the sheets, so she could sleep in MY bed. What was wrong with the guest bed??? I have no idea, but for some reason it totally grossed me out that she slept in our bed. She went out and bought all new pictures for the house AND HUNG them. As well, as some pictures of her and she hung my box of pictures! I'm sure in the grand scheme of things this wasn't terrible, but she was notorious for making snide comments about my housekeeping, parenting, her son's clothes, diet, etc.
My favorite MIL quote is this:
Dear MIL,
Please stop telling me how to raise my kids. I live with one of yours and trust me, there was plenty of room for improvement.
Sincerely,
DIL
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Post by alibama on Sept 29, 2014 17:31:30 GMT
I am sorry you had that kind of mother in law.
I will tell about mine.
I got married when I was 18 at 19 I had my daughter. She was two months old when her father was killed by a drunk driver. To this day I am my mother in laws daughter. Not her daughter in law but daughter. My husband (we have been married for 25 years) is her son in law. She as always been there by my side for everything in my life. I love my in laws to pieces.
My other Mother In Law is fantastic too. Not as fond of the FIL or Step FIL but that is another story.
My daughter on the other hand as a Mother in law from hell.
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flopsykitty
Full Member
Posts: 180
Jun 26, 2014 18:08:12 GMT
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Post by flopsykitty on Sept 29, 2014 17:40:06 GMT
My MIL was the only person from my husband's side of the family who treated me with kindness from the very beginning. I miss her. To the OP, I'm sorry your MIL was judgmental.  |
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Post by leannec on Sept 29, 2014 17:40:19 GMT
I actually have more in common with my MIL than I do with my mum ... Mum is very needy ... I'm an only child so it is quite draining ... MIL is a former teacher and so am I ... she loves books and so do I ... she loves cooking and I'm learning to love it  She has four children with spouses so she is an expert at how to behave with DIL's and SIL's ... I have learned a lot from her ... I will say that my house will never be clean enough for her though  |
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Post by rumplesnat on Sept 29, 2014 17:49:01 GMT
Don't make me choose!
My 2 favorites include the fact that I'm 8 months pregnant, slightly high risk due to my age, she is an obgyn and has done nothing to ease my concerns with words of wisdom or support...mainly because she hasn't spoken to me more than 4 or 5 times in the past 8 months.
And...(this one is likely my favorite and I may have shared in the past)
Last Christmas, they gave our son an iTunes gift card. He tried to load it on his phone, but got the message that it had already been redeemed. My son discreetly told me, I passed it on to my husband and he told them while they were still at our house. She said that she found it in a basket on the counter and it must have already been used. No apology. No scrambling for her purse or father in law's wallet to give him cash instead. No promise to replace it. Nothing.
Ooh...oooh! Also, I refuse to go out to eat with them anymore because they pay for my husband's sister's meals and his nephew's meals, but not ours. To clarify, I don't need or expect anyone to pay for our meals. At all. However, they make it uncomfortably obvious, like doing a big arm sweep to the waitress to indicate they are paying for themselves, 2 daughters and grandson and then say we (son, daughter in law and step grandson) are paying separate. It's quite demeaning and a douchbag rude thing to do. Again, I don't need or expect a free meal, but a little discretion would be so much less tacky.
ETA: They also have a framed family photo of themselves with their 2 daughters and grandson in their dining room. It was taken at church and we were there that day, but apparently they didn't want their son and his family included.
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 17:56:54 GMT
My husband and I had been together for 3 years and had son, when my delightful MIL decided that her friend's daughter was a better match for husband and encourage said girl to flirt and write letters to my husband.
I found the letters. ( with acknowledgments to mil and her helpfulness to their budding relationship). (And no husband was never alone with this girl, we live 2 states away and husband has never traveled there by himself). He never wrote letters back but the girl would constantly call him at work until my husband changed offices. This mess went on for four months and the girl was getting ready to plan a wedding! Husband never spent alone time with her EVER. Mil was encouraging this behavior.
I told the girl if she was ever in town when we were there, I would have her head.
Delightful Mil and fil suggested to the girl to have me arrested.
On top of this mil would send the photos that I sent on to the girl.
Mil never got another photo from me. And I would expose any film that they had if they did happen to get a photo of children. I just found out they stole a portrait photo from me. So pissed at that.
And more bizarre sad behavior, when the girl married she named her son after my husband.
You will rarely see me referred to mil as mil... She is always my husband's mother . I nevered called her mom or called her by name. I never call his dad dad either.
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bellemagic
Junior Member
Baking Aunties Cookies
Posts: 64 
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Post by bellemagic on Sept 29, 2014 18:01:07 GMT
I won't go into the list of things she has done to me , my DH or our children but what she did to my wonderful FIL is inexcusable. She filed for divorce after he became ill. He was heartbroken until the day he passed away.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 29, 2014 18:05:24 GMT
I loved my mother-in-law and I miss her.
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Post by anxiousmom on Sept 29, 2014 18:09:48 GMT
Funny thing about my ex-MIL. I didn't particularly appreciate her until her son and I were divorced. Over the years I have learned to really love her and all her idiosyncrasies. I still consider her a friend.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
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Post by tduby1 on Sept 29, 2014 18:12:32 GMT
I adore my mother in law. I always feel so bad when I hear monster in law stories, for the dils.
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Post by cbet on Sept 29, 2014 18:17:33 GMT
I have a great MIL - her daughter, though, is another story.
When I was in the hospital giving birth to my son, she decided my husband needed company and stayed at our place with him. (We lived in the same town, so I'm still not sure why this was necessary.) While there, she completely arranged my kitchen cupboards and pantry because she thought her way made more sense. 27 years ago, and I still haven't forgotten that one. She has also made many comments about the amount of money I spend on craft supplies. That's why husband and I set up our budget with "allowance" money for each of us - so that we could spend a certain amount on things that the other person didn't "get". And trust me, I've spent far less on craft supplies than she has on cigarettes.
I manage to get along with her ok, but that's mostly because we no longer see her that often. So when we do, I just let her trample over me, bitch about it on the way home and then let it go.
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Post by wezee on Sept 29, 2014 18:18:18 GMT
I too had a wonderful MIL. I try very hard to emulate her with my DIL. I miss her so much
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 18:23:10 GMT
My first MIL had a bridal shower for us. She wouldn't tell me when it was going to be because she thought it would be nice if it was a surprise. Then when the shower did come around (I got an invitation to my own shower!), she loaded up all the gifts in her car including the envelopes with money in them and took them home cause she wanted to make a list of what everyone gave us. She tried to pull the same thing with the wedding envelopes, but my mother wouldn't let go of the bag. We got married in September and by December I still didn't have all the gifts!
When we were getting our apartment ready, our bedroom set didn't come in that we ordered so we were going to use ex DH's bed until ours came in. The week of the wedding she called me and said soon to be DH had a cold and she didn't think he could sleep on the couch that week and give up his bed so she thought we should come straight to their house from our honeymoon and stay with them for a week or so until they could bring the bed over. It caused such a huge fight we almost cancelled the wedding. Should have let it.
Second MIL ... when her daughters had children she bought cribs and dressers for them. We adopted our daughter on 6 days notice, had nothing ready and they came to visit the day after we brought her home from the hospital at DINNERTIME and we got a sundress and a package of disposable diapers. Yep, that's it! And they brought the whole family with them. 7 unexpected people at dinnertime, with us with an 8 day old baby and practically no baby things! Called the pizzeria we ordered from and they sent over pizza and the guy wouldn't let the driver take any money from us. Totally forgot that story until now, but stills makes me smile that the pizza guy was so generous. 
I could write a book, but it only makes me mad rehashing it!
Ann |
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 18:24:38 GMT
That's pretty much what I do!
Ann
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Post by compwalla on Sept 29, 2014 18:27:24 GMT
My MIL and I have come a long way. Things are better now but we still don't have a terribly lot in common. Besides the most awful confrontation when we were visiting them from overseas, the sort of things she did were subtle and annoying more than outright mean. Like she doesn't like that we have inside animals and she doesn't think my house is clean enough (and this is entirely on me even though my husband and I both work full time) but my house is not and has never been gross. She is the sort of person who mops several times a day, bends down to straighten the fringe on the rugs, and will pick bits of grass off the welcome mat by hand right after you step off and into the room. Other things hurt my kids. She told me she was coming to her grandson's fifth birthday party and she did drive here with her husband. They dropped off a gift and said they couldn't stay for the party because they had to go pick up firewood. All righty. My son cried on his birthday because he had been very excited about his gran being at his party. But she ditched him for fucking firewood. Awesome. She also used to say a lot of passive aggressive shit when she'd visit. Like, "Oh, your house is so clean. You must have been tidying for days!" Stupid stuff like that. In the years since, she's been better. Or I've gotten better at not letting her get to me. Probably some of both.  |
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 18:38:57 GMT
If my story is bad my husband's SILS are much worse and they were her Dils for years longer and would just sit and take whatever the MIL dished out because they want their inheritance.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 18:41:21 GMT
I got married very young the first time and my dh and I had separate checking accounts at first. My mil was the manager of the bank that I used. One morning she called me and said that she noticed my balance had become low in my personal account so she deposited money. I realized that she had obviously been monitoring my account on a daily basis. I closed my account and opened a new one at a different bank that day. I also put a check in the mail to her.
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Post by kimpossible on Sept 29, 2014 18:41:53 GMT
HA! I just got done writing an epic post on "Do you have any family members you hate to eat out with?"...referencing my FIL.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Sept 29, 2014 18:51:19 GMT
My DH and I were older when we got married. We had a very small, private wedding service. I wore a silk pants and shell in teal with a silk ivory jacket. His mother said to me after the brief ceremony with great surprise in her voice: "You ALMOST look like someone who knows how to dress!". And our wedding gift -- not that we expected or wanted anything and had told her that specifically. . . a Waterford desk clock for my husband and a pewter plate of the back of a bridal couple in full wedding attire looking at a huge church with our names and wedding date engraved on it. Talk about passive aggressive.
I just chalk it up to the woman being ignorant and clueless. sigh.
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on Sept 29, 2014 18:51:50 GMT
My MIL passed away before DH and I married. She treated me like family and was always sweet. Dh's Dad, on the other hand, is a PITA. He is controlling and whines like a child when he doesn't get his own way. He is generous, but it always comes with a condition. He is passive aggressive and sulks for days if he feels slighted over anything. It's like having a 68 year old baby in the family. It's very difficult to deal with.
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denainok
Shy Member
Posts: 43
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Post by denainok on Sept 29, 2014 18:57:53 GMT
My story about my mother in law is from our wedding day. She came up to us and said she would like for the photographer to take a picture of her family. We followed her to where the photographer was set up. I was standing there with my husband, mother in law, father in law, sister in law and brother in law. I moved in to get in with the group...She looked at me and said.. No Dena, I just want my family in the picture. I was crushed. I thought I was her family too. I learned that day where I stand with her. Thankfully, they live a few states away from us and we only see them once a year if they are lucky.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 29, 2014 18:59:25 GMT
My ex's mother has a mental illness. She would get along with us for a while, then have some huge blow out with exhusband and disappear for a long time. I would usually do something to make the peace between them for a little while and she would let us back in her life. Then something would happen and we'd be on the outs again. It was very frustrating to try to have any sort of relationship with her.
My new MIL and I get along great. She is a wonderful person and has always treated me with kindness and respect. She welcomed me from day one.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 19:23:18 GMT
My story about my mother in law is from our wedding day. She came up to us and said she would like for the photographer to take a picture of her family. We followed her to where the photographer was set up. I was standing there with my husband, mother in law, father in law, sister in law and brother in law. I moved in to get in with the group...She looked at me and said.. No Dena, I just want my family in the picture. I was crushed. I thought I was her family too. I learned that day where I stand with her. Thankfully, they live a few states away from us and we only see them once a year if they are lucky.
Wow! My SIL took a picture at her wedding with her sister and her spouse and the rest of the family. DH and I owned a house together but were not married. She excluded me from the family shot and then must have thought better of it and yelled over to me to be included in the second shot. Guess which one made her wedding album? You would have thought it would have prepared me better for almost 20 years later when they had a slideshow when their father died and I was the only one not in the slideshow at the funeral home. And I provided most of the pictures! When DH brought it up they told him it was an accident. Like that made me feel any better. Don't you think if it was an accident and they realized they left me out they would have said something first?
Ann
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,662
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Post by Rhondito on Sept 29, 2014 19:25:01 GMT
My ex-husband came from a family of three boys, and a divorced mother. She was used to running the show in everything they did - I came along and knocked her to the back burner (in her eyes). I met my husband in Oct/Nov right before he left for basic training; started dating when he was home for Christmas; I went to see him during my Spring Break and we got engaged. He was being stationed in South Korea so we got married in April before he left. The day of the wedding she came up to me at the church and asked how I was doing and I told her I was nervous (who isn't on their wedding day?!) and she said, "It's not too late to back out."  My husband left for Korea 9 days after our wedding. She didn't like that I was now getting his paychecks and handling things in his life. She questioned everything I did... my mom bought me a new shirt and she asked me "Is that new?!" I went to see her at work one day and I didn't have time to put any make-up on so I was wearing sunglasses - she told my husband that I was hungover and had dark circles under my eyes. At some point she was talking to him on the phone and told him "it wasn't too late to get an annulment." She sealed her fate with that one - he told her not to make him choose between his mother and his wife because she would lose. And that's exactly what happened. He cut off all communication with her. When he returned to the States we were stationed at Ft Campbell - he didn't give her any of his/our contact information. She had the nerve to contact THE POST COMMANDER to try to track him down! |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 29, 2014 19:37:27 GMT
I got pretty lucky with in-laws. MIL is so kind to and always has a compliment. My mom isn't emotionally for physically demonstrative at all so it's nice to get that from someone. They are always hugging and just being so nice. DH's has 4 siblings and I like them better than my own 4! Some of their spouses are a little out there but I don't see them often. FIL is pretty cool too.
MIL could've been a PITA about religion but she never mentions it (DH is Catholic and I'm not).
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Post by leslie132 on Sept 29, 2014 19:45:02 GMT
The bare bones part of my story is this......
"You treat my son like he is your dog". "When he divorces your sorry ass, you'll regret it". "You need to let him go to the strip bars. That way he can cozy up to them, and leave you alone at home".
These warmy fuzzy words were delivered to me less then 24 hours after I had been released from the hospital. I had a week long stay after having complications from emergency Surgery to remove my gallbladder. Which , she was kind enough to tell me, that was not a major surgery, as her niece who is a nurse told her so.
Thankfully, my newborn baby slept through that lovely communication session.
I am so envious of those that have a great MIL. I wish I was as lucky!
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Post by peanuttle on Sept 29, 2014 19:48:32 GMT
I'm sorry OP. I have a very difficult MIL, however I do not have to see her often. For years I have had issues with her and the way she treated her grandkids, me, DH, etc, but I have decided I will no longer let her get to me. It was a long hard road, but she has issues and her issues are not mine and have nothing to do with me.
Every time I see her, I have to remind myself of this, but I am getting better and better as time goes on.
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Post by ilikepink on Sept 29, 2014 20:12:22 GMT
I've a two - a good one and the first one, not so much. Throughout the wedding-planning process, she kept trying to take control. The time was changed to accommodate her wishes, the reception venue had to meet with her approval, and she was pretty much a bitch to my mom. ExH is Catholic, I am not, and we were married in my church, with a priest there to make it "official". At the rehearsal, she burst into tears, saying she wasn't coming to the wedding because "no one will know you were married Catholic". By then, I didn't care. (but she showed up)
The second one? Loved her like my mom. No step-grandmother could have been better to my boys or helpful to me. Truly the kind of MIL you would order from a catalog. Miss her terribly.
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Post by mzza111 on Sept 29, 2014 20:19:26 GMT
My ex-husband came from a family of three boys, and a divorced mother. She was used to running the show in everything they did - I came along and knocked her to the back burner (in her eyes). I met my husband in Oct/Nov right before he left for basic training; started dating when he was home for Christmas; I went to see him during my Spring Break and we got engaged. He was being stationed in South Korea so we got married in April before he left. The day of the wedding she came up to me at the church and asked how I was doing and I told her I was nervous (who isn't on their wedding day?!) and she said, "It's not too late to back out." My husband left for Korea 9 days after our wedding. She didn't like that I was now getting his paychecks and handling things in his life. She questioned everything I did... my mom bought me a new shirt and she asked me "Is that new?!" I went to see her at work one day and I didn't have time to put any make-up on so I was wearing sunglasses - she told my husband that I was hungover and had dark circles under my eyes. At some point she was talking to him on the phone and told him "it wasn't too late to get an annulment." She sealed her fate with that one - he told her not to make him choose between his mother and his wife because she would lose. And that's exactly what happened. He cut off all communication with her. When he returned to the States we were stationed at Ft Campbell - he didn't give her any of his/our contact information. She had the nerve to contact THE POST COMMANDER to try to track him down! Good for your husband! I honestly don't know why more sons don't lay down the law to their mothers when they are being assholes! |
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Deleted
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May 11, 2024 20:33:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 20:26:47 GMT
This is my husband's sil story. For background husband and his nephews and niece are the same age because mil didn't want to be a grandmother.
Husband and nephew are playing on a rock pile while the adults are getting the camp set up. Nephew slips , falls and is bleeding like a stuck pig.
In-laws and sil run to get him. Sil starts screaming husband pushed nephew and then faints at the sight if son bleeding and collaspes , herself falling down the rocks.
Mil grabs nephew and FIL pulls them to "safety". Somebody asked "what about SIL?"
Mil screams back. " leave the damn stupid b*tch there to______". I have hear that she said die and I have hear she said to get herself out.
And yes brother and sil STILL kiss up to in-laws.
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