What did you do for your spouse on the 1st anniversary of

I agree ask. Everyone is different.

We have always done something that makes me think of my Mom on both her birthday and the anniversary of her death.

Gone to dinner someplace she would have like or watch a movie or listen to music she loved.

My parents passed away three days from each other. 12 years apart. So I will probably always do something to mark that occasion. I don't know what.

Maybe eat some KC BBQ that was something that they both loved!

Gave him a big hug.

This is us also.  

We took MIL to dinner and talked about FIL. We had some laughs and remembered him.

The one year anniversary of my mom's death was last October.

I didn't want anything to be done, really, even though my husband offered. We took our boys to the park and went to Costco.

The biggest gift you can give your husband and FIL is to acknowledge the day and how much you love and miss your MIL. I love hearing stories about my mom.

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

MIL passed away 2 days after her birthday. We usually make the effort to go to the cemetery 2x a year (birthday & Mother's Day) to replace/freshen up the artificial flowers in the urns and clean the headstone.

We didn't do anything. We stayed busy and waited for the day to be over.

Like others have said, ask him. We tried to do stuff on the first anniversary bc we felt we should, and it was just weird.

DH's mother passed away so long ago that I don't remember if I acknowledged the anniversary or not. The 1st anniversary of my dad's death was a few months ago and Dh didn't mention it. I doubt he remembered the exact day. I visited the cemetery for a few minutes by myself. Mostly I just processed it in my head. I would not expect him to remember it in any future year. I don't know that the specific day is that significant to me. I think about my dad often and it is more odd moments that trigger memories than a particular date.

Nothing. Neither of us want anything on the date of death. Everyone grieves differently. Talk to him about what he needs. I wouldn't assume anything - as it seems to be almost 50/50 whether people want a remembrance on the date of death.

I asked him if he wanted to do anything. He called and spoke with his mom and I think he took a day off work (which he NEVER did). But for the most part I think we just kept busy. I lost him a week later so I don't know what we would have continued to do. As for me, I text my MIL and she texts me on my day. I send her a little something on their anniversary, which is what she likes. I prefer to be left alone. On the actual Day of, I go dark. Other than the text from my MIL I tend to just be still and let the day be as quiet as possible. If I have to work, I try to schedule a light day or just take it off as one of my floating holidays.

The truth is he may not even know what he wants to do, which would be completely understandable and thats how I came up with the whole, just let the day do it's thing. Some times I want to go do something, other times I don't. But I always go with how I feel that day and I don't try to pretend its just another day because it isn't and won't ever be.