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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 13:33:48 GMT
I need to vent! DD has been bullied by another girl for a couple of months. On Thursday I, a representative from the school, a social worker and the other girl’s dad, had a meeting, discussing how to deal with this going forward. The social worker asked if he could talk to both girls after our meeting, and of course I agreed. And now my DD tells me that the other girl’s dad was present as well, asking questions andtalking to her! I am furious! Not only had I not agreed to that, none of the other two adults present has mentioned it to me, and none of them asked if I wanted to be there as well. I am ready to bring out my torch and pitchfork, but will probably send an email to the two of them, telling them I have lost all confidence in them, and that I don’t want any of them talking to my child ever again. I am strongly considering sending an email to their superiors as well, informing them about this and demanding the two of them are reprimanded.  |
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Post by pierkiss on Feb 2, 2019 13:35:39 GMT
I will be mad with you. That’s bullshit.
Get a lawyer, and start escalating this up the school chain of command.
I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this (and your family as well). I hope the bullying stops as soon as possible.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 13:39:00 GMT
I will be mad with you. That’s bullshit. Get a lawyer, and start escalating this up the school chain of command. I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this (and your family as well). I hope the bullying stops as soon as possible. Thank you  My husband and I have both master of law degrees, so I am confident we can handle it on our own (atleast for now, an old saying is that everyone who represents himself, has a fool for a lawyer). But I am definitely going to raise hell. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. |
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Post by cathyb on Feb 2, 2019 13:49:36 GMT
I will light your pitchfork for you and hold your earrings! That sounds like a prearranged meeting.
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Post by destined2bmom on Feb 2, 2019 13:53:58 GMT
I don’t blame you and agree 100% with you! I would be so angry that I would make heads roll.
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Post by gillyp on Feb 2, 2019 13:59:24 GMT
That’s awful! What a lousy position for your daughter to find herself in. That’s passive aggressive bullying, if you understand my drift.
Good luck with taking this further. I’ll certainky be cheering you on.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 14:00:07 GMT
I will light your pitchfork for you and hold your earrings! That sounds like a prearranged meeting. That’s what I’m suspecting. The social worker and the dad was a little bit too friendly towards each other when the meeting started. |
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Post by Really Red on Feb 2, 2019 14:08:50 GMT
OMG. I would be livid, as well!! How intimidating for your daughter to be in a room with a bully AND her father. It is absolutely inexcusable that you were unaware and not able to be a part of that meeting (but then it would be just a repetition of the previous one, right?). What on earth was the social worker thinking? I mean What on Freaking Earth?
I feel more and more livid as it sinks in. If it were my child, I'd be imploding.
Did anything get resolved, btw?
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 2, 2019 14:13:10 GMT
So the bully’s dad decided to bully your DD with an interrogation about the bullying without your knowledge and the social worker’s assistance? What the ever loving fuck?!?! I would not be even remotely polite as I marched back to the school to see the principal and kick some ass.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,610
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Feb 2, 2019 14:15:04 GMT
Oh, that's a bucket of NOPE. Not right at all. That man shouldn't have been able to talk to your child at ALL. Without you there?!?! I don't THINK so! I am never the one to tell people to raise hell, but I would raise holy hell!
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Post by pierkiss on Feb 2, 2019 14:15:55 GMT
You know what. The more I think about this the more pissed I am getting. Call the social workers office and find out who her supervisor is. Call that person and give them all the details. This is not allowed and there should be serious repercussions for her behavior.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633 
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Post by janeliz on Feb 2, 2019 14:15:57 GMT
Absolutely outrageous. It takes a lot to get me livid, but this would do it. I would definitely reach out to their superiors.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 17:23:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2019 14:16:54 GMT
I would be livid too and I would certainly report the social worker to his superiors. Their actions can only be described as intimidation. You're poor daughter she must have felt so alone. They seem to be trying their best to shift the blame from the aggressor to the victim....so so wrong.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Feb 2, 2019 14:19:28 GMT
I am furious for you. That is a ton of bullshit.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 14:20:57 GMT
I would be livid too and I would certainly report the social worker to his superiors. Their actions can only be described as intimidation. You're poor daughter she must have felt so alone. They seem to be trying their best to shift the blame from the aggressor to the victim....so so wrong. She did  My heart just breaks for her. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 14:21:59 GMT
Oh, that's a bucket of NOPE. Not right at all. That man shouldn't have been able to talk to your child at ALL. Without you there?!?! I don't THINK so! I am never the one to tell people to raise hell, but I would raise holy hell! I will. They are messing with the wrong family here! |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 2, 2019 14:23:35 GMT
OMG. I would be livid, as well!! How intimidating for your daughter to be in a room with a bully AND her father. It is absolutely inexcusable that you were unaware and not able to be a part of that meeting (but then it would be just a repetition of the previous one, right?). What on earth was the social worker thinking? I mean What on Freaking Earth? I feel more and more livid as it sinks in. If it were my child, I'd be imploding. Did anything get resolved, btw? Nope, nothing. And right now, unless both the «professionals» are replaced, I am not going forward with what we agreed on. |
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Post by Judie in Oz on Feb 2, 2019 14:24:20 GMT
I would be in the principal's office so fast their head would spin. Totally unacceptable and quite possibly illegal. Go get 'em.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 17:23:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2019 14:30:58 GMT
I would be livid too and I would certainly report the social worker to his superiors. Their actions can only be described as intimidation. You're poor daughter she must have felt so alone. They seem to be trying their best to shift the blame from the aggressor to the victim....so so wrong. She did My heart just breaks for her. Bless her. My heart is breaking for her. Shouldn't there be something in place that they are not allowed to question a minor without her parents/guardian or another adults assigned to them to be present? If not, I would insist that it should become a school's policy while you are wiping the floor with both of them! |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Feb 2, 2019 14:40:26 GMT
It's pretty easy to see where that girl learned her bullying ways. I hope you are able to get these people removed from the case and find a satisfactory resolution. What they did was unacceptable. Your poor daughter that they did this to her, but she's so lucky to have you in her corner and willing to fight. |
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Post by destined2bmom on Feb 2, 2019 14:42:26 GMT
miominmio, Please update us when you talk to the principal, school superintendent and the social worker’s supervisor. I feel so incredibly sorry for your DD. 
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Feb 2, 2019 14:49:31 GMT
I'm stunned, I can't believe that a professional in that social workers capacity would think it ok to have such a meeting! Your poor dd, how horrible for her to have to deal with the adult bullying on top of what she's already dealt with.
I'd be in the principals office Monday morning! I'd expect to have the superintendent's involvement and I wouldn't be leaving until it was resolved to my satisfaction. I'd be soooo pissed that this happened. At this point i'd want all involved to have zero interactions/contact with my dd. Honestly I can't believe this was ok with both adults. The parent even should have had better sense, ugh!
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
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Post by zookeeper on Feb 2, 2019 14:50:52 GMT
So...pretty much the daughter learned to be a bully from her father...the bully. That is a fuck ton of bullshit. Hell no. I would be heading straight to the principal and possibly the school board if the principal does not handle this situation appropriately. The social worker was completely out of line for allowing the father to be present without giving you the same opportunity. I might even report her to the social worker licensing board as your daughter is a minor.
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Post by phoenixcov on Feb 2, 2019 14:51:34 GMT
I have worked with many Social workers both good and bad in the past... this particular worker needs to be fired and not just get a slap on the hand for this disgraceful behaviour. I am so sorry that your DD had to endure this.
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Post by grate on Feb 2, 2019 15:04:24 GMT
I can't read all through this thread as I am dealing with a situation as a teacher, that I am physically sick over. I have been talking to our head of school for months, there were severe problems last year with this child. I am overruled every time. Then in a quick, three day succession of events and some parents FINALLY showing up with pitchforks, the child will be expelled. I am so torn because I want to help the child and the child has made progress in class but it is behind our backs that is the problem and it is so inappropriate.
It was very wrong for your child to be subjected to and we can only assumed intimidated by, the FATHER of the bully. Hmmm, wonder where the other child gets it from. I hate this part of teaching.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 2, 2019 15:25:28 GMT
The social worker was absolutely WRONG and also fulfilled the position of BULLY with that meeting with your DD alone with the father and himself!! Charge on, we have your back as best we can from far away!!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 2, 2019 15:30:20 GMT
Total BS! Your poor kid probably felt like she was being ganged up on.  Consider yourself validated because that would really, REALLY tick me off too. |
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Feb 2, 2019 15:41:18 GMT
Like the other posters, I validate you. The only thing I have to add is to leave a massive paper trail of emails and snail mail letters with your complaint. It gives those above fodder for taking action. Document, document, document!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 2, 2019 15:49:13 GMT
I will be mad with you. That’s bullshit. Get a lawyer, and start escalating this up the school chain of command. I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this (and your family as well). I hope the bullying stops as soon as possible. I agree with getting a lawyer. Schools start protecting the victim when confronted with a professional who knows how to make their life difficult. |
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Post by auntkelly on Feb 2, 2019 15:52:26 GMT
I usually like to play devil's advocate, but I can't think of any good explanation as to why the father of the other girl was allowed to ask your daughter questions without your permission. Even if you had been in the room, I still think it would have been wrong for the father to interrogate your daughter directly.
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My husband and I have both master of law degrees, so I am confident we can handle it on our own (atleast for now, an old saying is that everyone who represents himself, has a fool for a lawyer). But I am definitely going to raise hell. The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
My heart just breaks for her.
Consider yourself validated because that would really, REALLY tick me off too.
