kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Mar 17, 2019 16:23:35 GMT
Sounds like you're being invited as part of the "co-worker" group - and I'm guessing the other co-worker's spouses are not invited either. Am I right?
When was the last time your husband has seen this girl, or interacted with her?
Go/Don't go, but for heaven's sake - don't as the MOB about it.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 17, 2019 16:29:36 GMT
I wouldn't ask because then you put the bride in the position of either defending her decision or making an exception to be nice because now you've made her uncomfortable. The invite is for you only, you can decide if you want to go alone or not. These etiquette rules are intended to prevent EXACTLY what some here are encouraging you to do. I used to think this way, then my nieces and nephews started getting married. When I was invited to the shower of the first niece, but DD was not on the invite, I assumed that she was not invited. My SIL insisted that of course she could come and I was being silly. So DH went with us to drop us off (we are from out of town and only had one car.). I was going to bring DD in for a quick hello to the other aunties, then she was going to lunch with DH. We walked in and the place was packed with kids, aunts, cousins, etc. DD stayed and DH went off to lunch with some of the other guys. A lot of the younger generation just doesn’t care about our old fashioned etiquette rules. I’ve worked with a protocol officer with DH’s job. I’m all for the rules because then I know what to expect. But I’ve found time and again that some just don’t worry about those things.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Mar 17, 2019 16:37:42 GMT
For those of you suggesting the op ask the mom, what do you expect the mom to say? “Yes, it is tacky that my daughter invited you without your long term spouse that she knows and no, he cannot come?” Or, “It must have been an oversight, go ahead and bring him.” when in fact it was not an oversight and now the bride is going to be accommodating someone she didn’t really invite. That is putting the mother of the bride in a very awkward position. And asking her assumes that she knew how the invites were going and condoned leaving the husband off and nullifies the naive and young bride angle being used to defend the bride. I would just send my regrets. I, myself, am perfectly cabable of attending functions on my own, but I have some serious shyness issues going on and would be completely uncomfortable and miserable attending a wedding of a co-workers daughter without my husband or a close friend as my “date”. Exactly. I am pretty shy until I know people. I would be miserable. I would send my regrets and maybe send a card later. I sit here, as well.
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Post by lucyg on Mar 17, 2019 16:41:34 GMT
I wouldn't ask because then you put the bride in the position of either defending her decision or making an exception to be nice because now you've made her uncomfortable. The invite is for you only, you can decide if you want to go alone or not. These etiquette rules are intended to prevent EXACTLY what some here are encouraging you to do. I used to think this way, then my nieces and nephews started getting married. When I was invited to the shower of the first niece, but DD was not on the invite, I assumed that she was not invited. My SIL insisted that of course she could come and I was being silly. So DH went with us to drop us off (we are from out of town and only had one car.). I was going to bring DD in for a quick hello to the other aunties, then she was going to lunch with DH. We walked in and the place was packed with kids, aunts, cousins, etc. DD stayed and DH went off to lunch with some of the other guys. A lot of the younger generation just doesn’t care about our old fashioned etiquette rules. I’ve worked with a protocol officer with DH’s job. I’m all for the rules because then I know what to expect. But I’ve found time and again that some just don’t worry about those things. There’s a difference between family and friends/acquaintances/co-workers, though. I know with my late DH’s family that no matter what it says on the invitation, everyone in the family is expected. But I would not make that same assumption with someone who isn’t family.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 8:39:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 16:45:23 GMT
Can you ask around and see if other coworkers are attending and if they were solo invitations also? If so, it's probably the case of her inviting a group.
Or without actually asking the mom about it directly, you could ask her discreetly if other coworkers have been invited by mentioning that you are just wondering if you will know someone to sit with, carpool with, or attend the reception with since your husband wasn't invited.
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Post by mustlovecats on Mar 17, 2019 16:45:32 GMT
I’m happy to go places alone, I eat lunch alone if I have a day off and can, I don’t mind going to shows or movies or other things alone.
A social event, alone, where I might or might not know others and that takes up an entire evening sounds awkward to me. If other people are there as couples but not me, they will talk to each other and I’ll be a third wheel. That doesn’t sound like the way I want to spend an evening so I would decline. Or just go to the wedding and not the reception because that’s probably the awkward part of being there alone.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Mar 17, 2019 18:30:48 GMT
I wouldn't ask because then you put the bride in the position of either defending her decision or making an exception to be nice because now you've made her uncomfortable. The invite is for you only, you can decide if you want to go alone or not. These etiquette rules are intended to prevent EXACTLY what some here are encouraging you to do. I used to think this way, then my nieces and nephews started getting married. When I was invited to the shower of the first niece, but DD was not on the invite, I assumed that she was not invited. My SIL insisted that of course she could come and I was being silly. So DH went with us to drop us off (we are from out of town and only had one car.). I was going to bring DD in for a quick hello to the other aunties, then she was going to lunch with DH. We walked in and the place was packed with kids, aunts, cousins, etc. DD stayed and DH went off to lunch with some of the other guys. A lot of the younger generation just doesn’t care about our old fashioned etiquette rules. I’ve worked with a protocol officer with DH’s job. I’m all for the rules because then I know what to expect. But I’ve found time and again that some just don’t worry about those things. Well, then they must be made of money. Because having girls and doing weddings, I can tell you that the bill for unanticipated add-ons or the waste of money when you believe people who are showing and do not, can be quite steep. As for me in this situation, I would probably turn down the invitation unless I knew and liked the other coworkers who I assume I will sit with and could anticipate having a good time with them. Whether my dh is with me or not, what we have learned is that when we only know the bride and groom at a wedding, it is really not fun. Although I am extreme extrovert and my dh is quite skilled at making small talk, we have found that at weddings, no one wants to talk to/socialize with people they do not know. They are there to be with their extant friends group and family and that is that. So we no longer go to weddings when we only know the bride and groom - a card and gift is sent and that is that.
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Post by jenjie on Mar 17, 2019 18:52:38 GMT
Sounds like you're being invited as part of the "co-worker" group - and I'm guessing the other co-worker's spouses are not invited either. Am I right? When was the last time your husband has seen this girl, or interacted with her? Go/Don't go, but for heaven's sake - don't as the MOB about it. My thoughts exactly.
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Post by lisae on Mar 17, 2019 19:01:58 GMT
I don't get what is wrong with asking the mother about this. It is very unusual. I can see inviting only you if you were single but married? I've attended weddings without my husband but he has always been invited.
If you don't ask and you decide not to go because you assume your husband wasn't invited, how would you feel if you found out after the wedding they assumed you would bring him?
If you don't want to go at all or he doesn't want to go with you, it doesn't matter. If you do want to go to the wedding with your husband, it matters.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 17, 2019 19:23:06 GMT
Sounds like you're being invited as part of the "co-worker" group - and I'm guessing the other co-worker's spouses are not invited either. Am I right? That was my initial thought as well, if that's the case then I think it's ok (though not ideal). As for brides not knowing etiquette, I'm not convinced they all do. I think the peas are a unique group who are very internet-savvy and research/learn more online that the typical person. My niece got married last summer (at the ripe ol' age of 18 ) but she wanted to just send e-vites, no paper invites at all. Thankfully my sister stepped in and said mailed invites were a must. But they also made decisions that etiquette would determine as questionable in an effort to stay within budget so their judgement wasn't perfect.
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Post by Skellinton on Mar 17, 2019 19:30:01 GMT
I don't get what is wrong with asking the mother about this. It is very unusual. I can see inviting only you if you were single but married? I've attended weddings without my husband but he has always been invited. If you don't ask and you decide not to go because you assume your husband wasn't invited, how would you feel if you found out after the wedding they assumed you would bring him? If you don't want to go at all or he doesn't want to go with you, it doesn't matter. If you do want to go to the wedding with your husband, it matters. Because by asking the mother you are putting her in a very uncomfortable position. By asking her you are questioning her daughter’s manners. How would you word this to the mother of the bride? How would you respond if the same question was asked of you out of the blue? By asking the mom she is either going to have to admit her daughter is bucking common courtesy and societal norms by not inviting the op’s spouse of 20 years, or she is going to say “of course you can bring him” which may have been the intention all along showing that her daughter is a nitwit regarding wedding invite protocol or now the bride is going to have one extra guest she didn’t want or can’t accommodate. It just puts the MOB in a very uncomfortable position.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 17, 2019 19:38:58 GMT
I’m happy to go places alone, I eat lunch alone if I have a day off and can, I don’t mind going to shows or movies or other things alone. A social event, alone, where I might or might not know others and that takes up an entire evening sounds awkward to me. If other people are there as couples but not me, they will talk to each other and I’ll be a third wheel. That doesn’t sound like the way I want to spend an evening so I would decline. Or just go to the wedding and not the reception because that’s probably the awkward part of being there alone. I sit on this bench with you. I do many things alone and love the alone time. But for a wedding/reception that can and usually lasts 10-12 hours in total, I don't want to hope there is someone else alone or rely on a group that may or no may not be looking for another person to join. I can (and do) talk to lots of people I don't know, but weddings usually have set groups and being a single can be more challenging. Now if I knew there would be work buddies there, no problem, but if not, I would feel differently. Sometimes the wait time between the wedding and reception can last 3 hours and when you aren't close to home, it really makes the day very long.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Mar 17, 2019 19:47:46 GMT
Just because people refuse the research the correct etiquette for any situation does not mean we toss all the rules. The rules are there to prevent people from not knowing what to do in a situation (not just weddings). "Young people don't care" is an excuse I don't buy. People of all ages throughout time have not bothered to work within the bounds of etiquette. Just because they cannot bother to be polite doesn't mean we all stop. Uncle Bob's backyard BBQ is a lot different than a wedding / reception / dinner party with precisely counted meals being paid for by someone else.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 8:39:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2019 20:40:20 GMT
How would you word this to the mother of the bride? It sounds like the mom is a coworker and friend so I think it could easily be worded "are any other coworkers invited? I'm just looking for some people to _______ (ride with, sit with at the reception, sit with at the wedding) since John won't be attending." Mom is either going to know that your husband wasn't invited or ask why he's not coming. If you word it that way, you aren't questioning the bride's choices, but trying to make plans for the evening.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 17, 2019 21:57:40 GMT
I wouldn't ask because then you put the bride in the position of either defending her decision or making an exception to be nice because now you've made her uncomfortable. The invite is for you only, you can decide if you want to go alone or not. These etiquette rules are intended to prevent EXACTLY what some here are encouraging you to do. I used to think this way, then my nieces and nephews started getting married. When I was invited to the shower of the first niece, but DD was not on the invite, I assumed that she was not invited. My SIL insisted that of course she could come and I was being silly. So DH went with us to drop us off (we are from out of town and only had one car.). I was going to bring DD in for a quick hello to the other aunties, then she was going to lunch with DH. We walked in and the place was packed with kids, aunts, cousins, etc. DD stayed and DH went off to lunch with some of the other guys. A lot of the younger generation just doesn’t care about our old fashioned etiquette rules. I’ve worked with a protocol officer with DH’s job. I’m all for the rules because then I know what to expect. But I’ve found time and again that some just don’t worry about those things. But the crux of the problem with them just not caring or worrying about those things is that it then puts the burden of guessing what was intended on the guests, and that’s rude. A good host/ess will always put the comfort of their guests as a top priority for any social function, whether it’s an informal backyard BBQ or a posh wedding. So while some will say, “suck it up, it’s not all about you”, um, yeah, it kind of IS all about you if you are the *invited guest* and if the person hosting has any manners at all. There is no law that a couple must have a big group of attendees in order to get married, it can be done quietly and privately at the courthouse with a minimal number of legal witnesses. So if they are inviting a bunch of people to come witness their glorious occasion (with presumably some time, effort, and expense invested on the part of those guests in attending said occasion) the couple should certainly give at least a minimum amount of consideration to common social graces and conventions.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,905
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Mar 17, 2019 22:15:54 GMT
I do feel that if you can’t have a big wedding you should do a smaller one that you can afford. I do not think it’s ok to invite a married person without the spouse. Could I go by myself? Of course. Would I want to? Probably not. If I go to a wedding I want to have my partner to dance with, converse, etc. And before anyone says that the important thing is to celebrate the couples love, etc, etc the moment they decided to host a reception they kind of took on the responsibility of being good hosts. At my age I’m past feeling an obligation to do things I do not want to do.
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scrapngranny
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Only slightly senile
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Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Mar 17, 2019 22:21:17 GMT
Unless you really want to go for yourself, not to please the bride or her mother, I would send my regrets. I would not have a good time without my DH at an event like that.
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Post by lisae on Mar 18, 2019 0:00:13 GMT
I don't get what is wrong with asking the mother about this. It is very unusual. I can see inviting only you if you were single but married? I've attended weddings without my husband but he has always been invited. If you don't ask and you decide not to go because you assume your husband wasn't invited, how would you feel if you found out after the wedding they assumed you would bring him? If you don't want to go at all or he doesn't want to go with you, it doesn't matter. If you do want to go to the wedding with your husband, it matters. Because by asking the mother you are putting her in a very uncomfortable position. By asking her you are questioning her daughter’s manners. How would you word this to the mother of the bride? How would you respond if the same question was asked of you out of the blue? By asking the mom she is either going to have to admit her daughter is bucking common courtesy and societal norms by not inviting the op’s spouse of 20 years, or she is going to say “of course you can bring him” which may have been the intention all along showing that her daughter is a nitwit regarding wedding invite protocol or now the bride is going to have one extra guest she didn’t want or can’t accommodate. It just puts the MOB in a very uncomfortable position. If the daughter is inviting one half of a married couple only to witness her and her fiance become married, she is already in an uncomfortable position. It may make the mother uncomfortable but the wedding guest is already uncomfortable. Is it better to let the guests wonder about this very irregular invitation and what it means or is it better to just ask a simple question? If I remember correctly from the original post, the OP works with both the mother and daughter so this is bound to come up at some point. Either someone else is going to ask, or the OP goes to the wedding and someone asks her where her husband is and then she is in an uncomfortable position again. As to how I would say it, I might say to the Mother. "I'm looking forward to attending ___'s wedding. The invitation was addressed to me only. I'm assuming we aren't bringing our spouses. That's fine with us, I just wanted to be sure." I have been the stepmother of a bride who did a lot of things that did not have her guests comfort and convenience in mind. I overheard her mother saying to some guests at the reception: "Bless her heart, DD wanted to do everything for the wedding herself." Her father and I concurred with this sentiment.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Mar 18, 2019 1:31:51 GMT
i invited 3 friends as singles to my wedding due to firm space constraints due to fire code. however, all three were friends with each other so they knew people AND i discussed it with them ahead of time so no invitation catching them off-guard.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 18, 2019 1:59:27 GMT
Just because people refuse the research the correct etiquette for any situation does not mean we toss all the rules. The rules are there to prevent people from not knowing what to do in a situation (not just weddings). "Young people don't care" is an excuse I don't buy. People of all ages throughout time have not bothered to work within the bounds of etiquette. Just because they cannot bother to be polite doesn't mean we all stop. Uncle Bob's backyard BBQ is a lot different than a wedding / reception / dinner party with precisely counted meals being paid for by someone else. Yes! I would decline the invitation .
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artsydaisy
Full Member
Posts: 464
Jul 1, 2014 4:55:48 GMT
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Post by artsydaisy on Mar 18, 2019 2:37:05 GMT
I don't get what is wrong with asking the mother about this. It is very unusual. I can see inviting only you if you were single but married? I've attended weddings without my husband but he has always been invited. If you don't ask and you decide not to go because you assume your husband wasn't invited, how would you feel if you found out after the wedding they assumed you would bring him?If you don't want to go at all or he doesn't want to go with you, it doesn't matter. If you do want to go to the wedding with your husband, it matters. This has happened to me too many times, so now I verify. It's easy to ask in a way that doesn't put the host on the spot. And you can ask someone close to the host, like the mom in this case. Asking doesn't mean you are wrangling a +1, it just means you are confused and want to do the right thing. One time, my DD was a flower girl for a wedding. We had purchased her dress and made all of the hotel reservations and travel arrangements well in advance (wedding was 500 miles away). And then our invitation came, just a couple of weeks before the wedding. It did not name her or her brothers on the invitation. You bet your ass I asked if my other children were invited, and if my DD was allowed to go to the reception! "Of course they are, why wouldn't they be?" was the response. When I explained that they weren't on the invitation, the bride and groom had no idea that we would take it that literally. This was ten years ago, and the B&G were in their 30s, so we're not talking millennials. If it's something important to you, ask. If you don't care and don't want to go, just send your regrets.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,014
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Mar 18, 2019 3:00:18 GMT
Admittedly, Dh and I have different circles in many ways, but often just one of us is invited to a wedding. The invitee goes and has a great time. At least I do, I assume he does as well. I'm always happy when someone invites me to a an event where cake is served
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Post by mikewozowski on Mar 18, 2019 3:08:47 GMT
i think it is rude to invite only half of a married couple. not every guest needs a +1, but i wouldn't think of not inviting both of a married couple.
if i were to get an invitation like that, i would go if i really wanted to, but it would be more likely that i would just skip it.
it is possible that the kids are clueless, as many of them are, but you would think they would rely on parents for some guidance, except, often, they THINK they know everything.
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Post by AussieMeg on Mar 18, 2019 3:18:33 GMT
The only time I have received a solo wedding invitation was from a work colleague. She invited a number is us from work, and spoke to us all about it to explain that due to finances she wasn’t able to include spouses/partners. We were all fine with that, she’s never met any of our partners, and we were all super keen to go to a traditional Indian wedding. It was beautiful by the way, their traditional clothing is magnificent and the food of course was amazing.
If I’d had a problem with it or was offended by it, then I wouldn’t have gone. And if I had been the only person from work who was invited, I probably would have declined.
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Post by Really Red on Mar 18, 2019 3:25:40 GMT
A few years ago DH and I were invited to his cousin's DD wedding. Once there DH's cousin and wife asked us where our kids were...….'Um like you didn't list them on the envelop so we assumed they weren't invited hence they are at home LOL. This happened to me twice. I mean who on EARTH wanted 3 little munchkins at their gorgeous wedding. Apparently people did. Fortunately, on both occasions, we responded Yes with just our names. They called us and told us the kids were invited. But it didn't say so on either the outer or the inner envelope! For those of you suggesting the op ask the mom, what do you expect the mom to say? “Yes, it is tacky that my daughter invited you without your long term spouse that she knows and no, he cannot come?” Or, “It must have been an oversight, go ahead and bring him.” when in fact it was not an oversight and now the bride is going to be accommodating someone she didn’t really invite. That is putting the mother of the bride in a very awkward position. And asking her assumes that she knew how the invites were going and condoned leaving the husband off and nullifies the naive and young bride angle being used to defend the bride. I would just send my regrets. I, myself, am perfectly cabable of attending functions on my own, but I have some serious shyness issues going on and would be completely uncomfortable and miserable attending a wedding of a co-workers daughter without my husband or a close friend as my “date”. OP already said she's going solo. I think she can call the MOB and say, I am so excited to come. I just want to clarify that my DH is not invited. That's fine if he is not, and I am coming regardless, but just want to be sure. There's nothing wrong with that. Seriously, you invite one half of a married couple and you have to expect those kind of questions!
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pancakes
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,993
Feb 4, 2015 6:49:53 GMT
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Post by pancakes on Mar 18, 2019 3:38:53 GMT
As someone who is still in the wedding age group (I’m 31), I find it extremely surprising that Peas are saying that young people don’t know wedding etiquette. I can’t think of one person or wedding I’ve been invited to that did not know that the invitation specifically addresses who is actually being invited. Literally have never come across or heard of that first or secondhand from any of my friends, relatives, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. This would be an anomaly to me.
I agree with the other Peas who suggested to ask your coworkers if they received plus one invites. My guess is they did not and you are being invited as a coworker group. And the reasoning behind it is cost.
Regarding asking the bride or her mother, that completely depends on your relationship. If you are quite close, I think it would be ok to do what the Pea above suggested and mention that you’re going regardless and that it totally does not matter but just wanted to make sure the invite was for you only and did not include your husband. If you’re not that close where that would be comfortable, I would adhere to etiquette, NOT ask, and just make a decision on whether or not you want to attend alone.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Mar 18, 2019 3:46:43 GMT
The only time I have received a solo wedding invitation was from a work colleague. She invited a number is us from work, and spoke to us all about it to explain that due to finances she wasn’t able to include spouses/partners. We were all fine with that, she’s never met any of our partners, and we were all super keen to go to a traditional Indian wedding. It was beautiful by the way, their traditional clothing is magnificent and the food of course was amazing. If I’d had a problem with it or was offended by it, then I wouldn’t have gone. And if I had been the only person from work who was invited, I probably would have declined. I totally agree with this. I agreed with another poster earlier that I would decline the invitation if I was totally going solo, as in not knowing anyone else. Going with a group of co-workers, however, could be fun. I'm in the camp of not wanting to put the bride's mother in a potentially awkward spot, so I'd check with my co-workers to see how their inivites were worded, and then make plans from there to either go or to decline.
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Post by pattyraindrops on Mar 18, 2019 3:49:26 GMT
If I wanted to go to the wedding I would. If I didn't I wouldn't. The "inettiquette" of having my husband of 28 years not invited would have no bearing on it.
I get people not feeling comfortable about going alone. I don't get not going when it is "rude" to not have a spouse invited. I feel a wedding celebration is to share one of greatest joys with those in their lives. It feels odd to think I wouldn't go do that because of etiquette rules that not everyone knows about.
Take that for what it is worth though since I'm more of a do what's right for the moment kind of person and don't understand why we have to lay down rules for it all.
As far as the OP - when did your DH last have time together with the bride? Often? 10 years ago? If he hasn't seen you in years then I can see the bride thinking of you as a coworker at this point. I realize that may not change your mind on the situation, but if she sees him often I would look at it differently than if she hasn't seen him in years.
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Post by MsChiff on Mar 19, 2019 4:39:10 GMT
It's extremely low class and mannerless to invite only one half of a married couple to a wedding, not to mention ignorant given that the sole purpose of a wedding is to celebrate two becoming one. It sends a message that "our getting married is important, but other people staying married isn't." When only selected guests/marriages are targeted as "worthy" of both spouses being invited (eg. family or friends vs coworkers) it's even more insulting to the invited guest. Being married is far more worthy than getting married as it takes a LOT more work and conviction to stay married than to get married. And that's not even touching on the proper behavior of a host. Then again, I'm of the mindset that if someone is important enough to be invited, they're important enough for their invitation to include a spouse/guest. I know many others are far more interested in putting on airs rather than hosting an event that fits both their budgets and proper etiquette/manners, and that's their choice and I'm not required to support anyone's choices but my own. Personally, I wouldn't give the OP's invitation a second thought. I'd decline attending and acknowledge their marriage as they acknowledged mine -- not at all.
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Post by gar on Mar 20, 2019 9:21:08 GMT
It's extremely low class and mannerless to invite only one half of a married couple to a wedding, not to mention ignorant given that the sole purpose of a wedding is to celebrate two becoming one. It sends a message that "our getting married is important, but other people staying married isn't." When only selected guests/marriages are targeted as "worthy" of both spouses being invited (eg. family or friends vs coworkers) it's even more insulting to the invited guest. Being married is far more worthy than getting married as it takes a LOT more work and conviction to stay married than to get married. And that's not even touching on the proper behavior of a host. Then again, I'm of the mindset that if someone is important enough to be invited, they're important enough for their invitation to include a spouse/guest. I know many others are far more interested in putting on airs rather than hosting an event that fits both their budgets and proper etiquette/manners, and that's their choice and I'm not required to support anyone's choices but my own. Personally, I wouldn't give the OP's invitation a second thought. I'd decline attending and acknowledge their marriage as they acknowledged mine -- not at all. Wow! Low class? Other couples staying married depends on them attending one event together? Not giving the invite second thought? Why not tell us what you really think!
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