johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 20, 2019 12:42:39 GMT
Dh takes xanax (or did, now he just carries it with him and only takes it if needed but I don't think he does often). Our first flight with ods when he was 4, dh (his first flight too) was on Xanax, I was on air sickness meds (I'd previously passed out on a flight trying to get to the bathroom to be sick), and poor ds was between us blissfully unaware that his parents were useless on this flight and his DVD player would be his friend.....I can laugh about it now Really, I'm just posting to say kudos to paigepea and your mom for recognizing your fears and dealing with them head on. I'm sure it wasn't easy, especially at first, but look at what you've been able to do now that you've found ways to handle it. I've seen many a posts on here about your travels, so many places you wouldn't have been able to visit, and show your girls, if you hadn't persevered. Way to go!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Mar 20, 2019 13:09:10 GMT
i hate it and take xanax. if i couldn't get to my doctor, i would get one from my mom or something (yes, i know you aren't supposed to do that but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do).
i did find my fear got *much* worse because i hadn't flown in years and years. i did a couple of flights in a 3 year span and noticed it wasn't as bad.
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Post by quinlove on Mar 20, 2019 13:36:41 GMT
I do not like to fly at all. I had to fly to California about 16 months ago or so, which meant four takeoffs and landings. YUCK. I used to get a BuSpar or Ativan prescription and would ask for just whatever number I needed to make it through each takeoff/landing (usually two unless there was a layover or something). My backup is dramamine. Two of those and I'm out. My second backup is alcohol. Wheee. When I flew in late 2017, there was a woman behind me who on takeoff was wailing and making an ass out of herself "Oh my God Oh my GOD we are gonna die. We are going to crash wahhhhhhhh Oh my God OH MY GOD wahhhhhhhhhhh." This was supremely unhelpful to me. Then she stopped and I was like "okay, now I can zone out, now that she has let us all know how she feels." Then about 5 minutes later she started up again. For some reason, I just snapped and yelled pretty loud "Jesus CHRIST!" INSTANT silence. The lady next to me, who was very large and kinda riding the arm rests, started apologizing to me, thinking she was bothering me. I was like "YOU are fine." Then she went "Oh...that. Yeah." The woman behind me kept her mouth shut for the rest of the flight, or if she didn't, I didn't hear her. Coincidentally, that flight was the first one since I was probably 22 years old where I did not medicate myself with something. I won't do that again. We are flying to California again in June. I booked nonstop tickets and I will be drinking/dramamined up. I don't think anybody really knows that I am freaking TERRIFIED unless they pay close attention and I would never inflict my terror on others, but if I get another screamer behind me, I want to be sufficiently altered that I can let it float past me. This last time, I also had the feeling of kind of a peace. Like "If something happens, I have had a good life" sort of thing. Still pretty freaked out, but it was helpful. Until that lady ramped up. The drinking never worked for me. A bunch of us were flying from Phoenix to Vegas ! A very small flight. You could practically walk there 😊 they were not scared at all, I was. Have some drinks they said, it will take the edge off they said. It did not. In fact, it made it so much worse. So much worse that I was now tipsy with an attitude. Long story short, I did not get on the plane. Xanax or similar will be the answer. Trust us on this.
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 20, 2019 13:41:41 GMT
I'm sorry you have a fear of flying.... I don't think it is any different from any other types of fears...
Now I love flying and can't imagine having that fear but each person is different. I am sad for those who just can't fly.. there is just so much out there to see in the world. BUT who am I to judge..
Sorry that you have this fear and hopefully can overcome it sometime.. Good luck!!
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 20, 2019 13:52:29 GMT
Do you know what it is about flying that you are afraid of? There are a lot of different shapes a fear of flying can take, so if you can pinpoint it, maybe folks with a similar fear can share what's helped them. A coworker developed a fear of flying as she got older. She says she really doesn't like all the noises the plane makes. She sees an acupuncturist regularly, and before she flies, the acupuncturist puts these little dot things on her pressure points on her ears. They're just taped on. She said when she starts to get freaked out, she watches the flight attendants, because if they're calm, she figures she should be too. Flying just straight up stresses me out, but I'm not afraid of it. I get anxiety because (1) I'm not in much control, (2) there are rules to follow, and (3) I get very, very motion sick. I take an anti-anxiety med before getting to the airport, dramamine before I get on the plane, and I wear seabands. I also have my doctor give me an anti-nausea med (which was really helpful when we hit some turbulence). On the plane, I basically try to disassociate. Three hours is about my max, but I can mark it out in little snippets of time: it takes a little bit of time to get to cruising altitude, and then in a little bit, the drink cart starts. Then they put that away and come down with the snacks. Then the flight attendants make one more pass to see if anyone needs anything else. Then they come through to collect trash. Then the pilot tells us, about half an hour out, that we're getting close. Then we land and I breathe a sigh of relief in the terminal. I fear the plane will crash. Which I know is crazy, because planes are so safe, and much safer than driving (which I also worry about, but still drive). My former neighbor is a pilot, and just went back to work now that her kids are in school. If she wasn't so far away, I bet talking to her would help! That's a great idea about watching the flight attendants! I too am afraid of flying specifically because I am afraid the plane will crash and I will leave my children motherless (and probably fatherless too). I cannot stand that thought. So, I don’t fly unless absolutely necessary. I have found that a drink or two takes the edge waaay down before getting on the flight.
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Post by frenchie on Mar 20, 2019 15:32:36 GMT
Do you know what it is about flying that you are afraid of? There are a lot of different shapes a fear of flying can take, so if you can pinpoint it, maybe folks with a similar fear can share what's helped them. A coworker developed a fear of flying as she got older. She says she really doesn't like all the noises the plane makes. She sees an acupuncturist regularly, and before she flies, the acupuncturist puts these little dot things on her pressure points on her ears. They're just taped on. She said when she starts to get freaked out, she watches the flight attendants, because if they're calm, she figures she should be too. Flying just straight up stresses me out, but I'm not afraid of it. I get anxiety because (1) I'm not in much control, (2) there are rules to follow, and (3) I get very, very motion sick. I take an anti-anxiety med before getting to the airport, dramamine before I get on the plane, and I wear seabands. I also have my doctor give me an anti-nausea med (which was really helpful when we hit some turbulence). On the plane, I basically try to disassociate. Three hours is about my max, but I can mark it out in little snippets of time: it takes a little bit of time to get to cruising altitude, and then in a little bit, the drink cart starts. Then they put that away and come down with the snacks. Then the flight attendants make one more pass to see if anyone needs anything else. Then they come through to collect trash. Then the pilot tells us, about half an hour out, that we're getting close. Then we land and I breathe a sigh of relief in the terminal. I fear the plane will crash. Which I know is crazy, because planes are so safe, and much safer than driving (which I also worry about, but still drive). My former neighbor is a pilot, and just went back to work now that her kids are in school. If she wasn't so far away, I bet talking to her would help! That's a great idea about watching the flight attendants! You are not alone. Many people are afraid to fly so don't beat yourself up about it. Just think about the fact that we have very well trained pilots here in the US,. You said your neighbor is a pilot and she has children. Try to focus on the fact that pilots have families that they want to get home to, as well. They take their jobs very seriously. I know that might not be a big help, but sometimes I've talked to people who don't like giving up their control when they fly. Just remember that commercial pilots have many years of experience and that you will be in good hands.
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Post by myshelly on Mar 20, 2019 15:49:11 GMT
I HATE flying, but I would be missing out on too many experiences if I refused to do it.
I just flew last week for spring break.
Vodka and Xanax is a winning combination. Do you have any friends who take it and would give you a pill or two?
I take the Xanax before I get on the plane and get alcohol during the first drink service.
What helps me is watching the flight attendants’ faces. If they’re calm then everything is fine. It’s reassuring. I think about all the times they’ve flown and how they aren’t scared of it.
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Post by twinks on Mar 20, 2019 16:09:57 GMT
I am not a comfortable flyer by any means. The worst for me is that there are times on the flight that I will just get so scared.
I have been on flights that when I think about them, I just get scared. I hate turbulence. When the pilot makes the flight attendants sit down, you know it is going to be bad turbulence. I hate that. One flight, a man behind me had an all out panic attack during severe turbulence. The poor flight attendants were crawling down the aisle to get to him. They helped him sit back in his seat, buckle up and talk him down. They were great!
I had to fly across the country multiple times a year, some of the time with my DD, some of the time alone. I just had to fly as there was no other option. Some of the things I have learned to do: noise cancelling headphones and calming music, so sleep deprived before the flight that I will sleep (I can't take Xanax or Ativan), sometimes I utilize self hypnosis or other relaxing techniques, and small, munchie snack food that I don't always get but really like. This last flight, I took some coloring and did that for awhile. Anything to try to distract me. I also try self talk to calm me down.
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Post by gar on Mar 20, 2019 16:14:13 GMT
Hypnosis worked well for a good friend of mine.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 6:07:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2019 16:24:13 GMT
The Pittsburgh airport isn’t bad! But it isn't the airport that she's afraid of. OP, it doesn't matter that statistically you're much less likely to crash in the plane than in a car.... a fear is a fear. I totally get it about being afraid to fly... I hate it, although mine isn't so bad that it's kept me from going places. For me it's always the bumps and the funny noises, etc. You didn't say when this event is...I wonder, is there time to find a class or group that's set up to help people with a fear of flying? Not sure how you'd find one...maybe call the airport's customer service or something like that. Otherwise, medication is the answer to the actual flight. Getting to the airport is part of the panic for me. Pittsburgh is nice. It is easy to get to. Get in to and find your way around.
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Post by katiescarlett on Mar 20, 2019 17:18:42 GMT
Xanex is a miracle worker! I'm terrified of flying. I haven't flown in over 15 years. But in February my daughter had a cheer competition in Atlanta and it was either fly or not go. The doctor prescribed me three .5 ml xanex pills. He said to take one after I went through security and if it didn't help, I could take one half of another. I worked myself into a tizzy the night before and had to have a few drinks to go to sleep and my blood pressure was going through the roof!
I was a nervous wreck all the way to the airport. But I did exactly as the doctor told me and by the time I got on the plane I was sooooo calm! I was looking out the window as we were taking off and taking pictures and videos. My DH and DD were amazed.
And because the flight out there was so good, I didn't worry at all about the flight back. I almost didn't even take the Xanex on the way back but decided at the last minute I didn't want to risk a panic attack.
So Xanex is my new best friend. I'm even considering flying with a friend on a vacation, something I would never have done before last month. Find yourself a doctor and get a prescription quick!
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Post by quinlove on Mar 20, 2019 18:48:18 GMT
Xanex is a miracle worker! I'm terrified of flying. I haven't flown in over 15 years. But in February my daughter had a cheer competition in Atlanta and it was either fly or not go. The doctor prescribed me three .5 ml xanex pills. He said to take one after I went through security and if it didn't help, I could take one half of another. I worked myself into a tizzy the night before and had to have a few drinks to go to sleep and my blood pressure was going through the roof! I was a nervous wreck all the way to the airport. But I did exactly as the doctor told me and by the time I got on the plane I was sooooo calm! I was looking out the window as we were taking off and taking pictures and videos. My DH and DD were amazed. And because the flight out there was so good, I didn't worry at all about the flight back. I almost didn't even take the Xanex on the way back but decided at the last minute I didn't want to risk a panic attack. So Xanex is my new best friend. I'm even considering flying with a friend on a vacation, something I would never have done before last month. Find yourself a doctor and get a prescription quick! I totally agree. Once you are seated on the plane and looking calmly out the window, it is just such a peaceful situation. Plus, since we know how absolutely frightened we usually are - the whole experience is that much more gratifying. It makes us feel so good about ourselves. Xanax is a miracle worker for panic attacks.
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2019 20:18:59 GMT
I'm sorry you have a fear of flying.... I don't think it is any different from any other types of fears... Now I love flying and can't imagine having that fear but each person is different. I am sad for those who just can't fly.. there is just so much out there to see in the world. BUT who am I to judge.. Sorry that you have this fear and hopefully can overcome it sometime.. Good luck!! Thank you so much for your kind words!
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2019 20:20:13 GMT
From your user name I assume you are in Maryland. Could you take the autotrain? It leaves from Virginia. I live in PA now, but I could drive to my parents house near DC and take the train from there sometime!
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2019 20:21:17 GMT
It's not crazy to fear the plane crashing. Is it statistically unlikely? Sure, but that doesn't make the fear crazy. (Besides, even if it was a crazy fear, fear and anxiety are often irrational. That's how they are.) I have not used this app, and I don't know anything about the guy writing about it or if there are costs or anything. But would something like the app in this article help, do you think? (By the way, the image of the app says that a flight is a severe psychological problem for every third person, so you are not alone.) It supposedly can take info from you and your phone and tell you about what noises the plane might be making, upcoming turbulence, etc. It says it was created by a professional pilot and fear of flying therapist. The article is almost two years old; it is available in the google play store (I don't have apple), and it's got an average 3.9 stars and 10K plus downloads. Thanks, I will look into that!
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2019 20:30:14 GMT
I have a fear of flying. I used to fly everywhere with no problem. Everywhere. Then, after a stressful and difficult flight (where I got sick in the air - nothing happened to the plane) I passed out on the flight. Subsequent flights I continued to have trouble. On one flight i was feeling so ill that the pilot wanted to make an emergency stop because we didn’t know what was wrong. I went to my dr. The first issue I was sick. The rest, it turns out, were panic attacks. I didn’t think I was scared, but turns out I was. I developed a debilitating fear of flying / fear of crashing. I started flying minimally. After a particularly bad 2 hr flight to LA, I went to my dr again for help. He prescribed adivan for the flight. It took a lot to take the edge off at first. He also prescribed it for 2 weeks leading up to the flight. A smaller dose but it also helped. He also suggested psychological help. My mom (I was in my early 20s still living at home) called the airport and found out that 2 national airlines (west jet and air canada) had fear of flying courses. I took the AC course. It was a 6 week course with a flight at the end. There were 15 if us. We went through the 6 weeks together. We exchanged numbers. We had a pilot and a psychologist work with us. The pilot taught us the ins and outs of flying. The psych taught us coping skills. We learned on the airplanes. They revved up engines and we practiced our coping skills. After 6 weeks we went on a 1 hr flight. 2 people wouldn’t go but the rest of us did. We had our 2 teachers. We practiced what we learned. The pilot helped us learn every noise and bump. We sat in the cockpit with the pilots during the flight, taking turns. I did it. I had adivan and my bag of tricks from the psychologist (music to listen to, headphones, and a sofa water to settle my stomach). That was over 20 years ago and I still travel with a sodawater. Just now I have to buy it after I cross through security. I still panic. I still take adivan leading up to a trip. I have developed my bag of coping tricks. I tell every airline worker that I have a bad fear of flying. The worst they’ll see so they are prepared. I tell them I’m healthy but on adivan. That they should expect to see my cry if there is turbulence. i book seats at the front of the plane (psychologists suggestion) so I can see the flight attendants. I book aisle seat so I have access to flight attendants if needed. I’ve had them crouch down next to me for turbulent flights or for landing if I’m extra scared. They’ll come and tell me if they’re expecting turbulence (expected is easier to take for me). The pilots often come to me before take off to reassure me. They offer me use of front bathroom (less scary than back bathroom). I sip soda water. My girls (10 and 13) have grown up with me scared of flying. I’ve explained that everyone has their own thing and this is mine. That they don’t have to be scared like me, and they’re not. They know to hold my hand if I’m scared or to leave me alone if I’m deep breathing. Or to ignore me if i panic. Older dd is scared of bugs. Younger dd is scared of dogs. I explain they should watch me fly and see how I face my fear to help them with theirs. It’s our way of talking about it in the open. What works for me: Adivan day of and leading up to flight. Letting flight staff know Deep breathing Soda water Knowing about turbulence ahead of time Seat near front of plane Seat in the aisle so I can watch flight attendance during take off and landing. They often give me thumbs up during flight or come to check in. Psychologist help Reminder about what pilot taught during course. The fear won’t go away. You have to learn to cope with it I haven’t proof read. Sorry about any typos. Thanks so much for sharing your story! I was really hoping to be cured of this fear! I have to drive the western to midway part of the PA turnpike about 18 times a year. I don't like the curvy, mountainous road with a lot of trucks and a lot of "cliffs" (haha, meaning their is a shoulder, guardrail and dropoff). I don't enjoy it and get very nervous on certain parts, but I can still make the trips. I don't feel like I could do that with flying. Your course sounds wonderful! I will look into something like that! Thanks again for sharing what you went through. My kids aren't scared at all. My husband flies a lot for work, so they know that flying is safe. And of course they want to be nothing like mom, so my fear assures that they will not be afraid!
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2019 20:32:58 GMT
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this thread. We had something come up suddenly and I had to be away from things for a bit.
The trip would be next week, so not enough time for me to be ready to go. But my husband is going, so at least she will have someone there. My husband said we could drive, but I didn't think it was fair to him to have to spend so much time in the car because of my fear. I was going to drive there myself, but decided it would be a very long drive for just being there 2 days, and I am terrible with directions!
Thank you all so much for the support! You have given me wonderful advice. My friends/family just think I am being ridiculous and it's a stupid fear. So that doesn't help at all. It's so nice to have people understand, even if it is not a fear that they have. You don't know how much this has helped me! You all are the best!
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Mar 26, 2019 21:37:19 GMT
You are not being ridiculous at all.
If I weren’t in your shoes I would not go and not let anyone, especially my child make me feel guilty about it!
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Mar 26, 2019 22:00:03 GMT
I hate flying. I get ativan from my doctor and I chase it down with a bloody mary. I still have anxiety while flying, but it's manageable. I won't let this fear stop me from traveling. I tell myself that none of us get out of here alive, so why not live life to the fullest.
I also study the flight attendants faces during the flights. If they ever look panicked I will lose my shit. So far, every flight I've been on the flight attendants have been super calm.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2019 22:55:44 GMT
I used to be scared of flying because my dad was supposed to be on Air Florida Flight 90 that crashed into the Potomac River in 1982. We lost three family friends that day. then in 1985 there was another crash at DFW when a Delta flight crashed in bad weather. I did not fly again until 1994 to go home for the holidays. I took a Xanax and was OK for that trip but still felt like planes were going to just fall out of the sky for no good reason.
I realized between 1985 and 1994 that airplanes had redundant systems for everything. Major systems have triple and quadruple redundant systems. The thing that really "saved" me was realizing a plane may have two engines but can fly with one. Granted, travel will be slower but the plane will stay up in the air. Then I had to get over the "bumps" or turbulence. That just took me flying and flying and flying some more and realize that when the weather is bad the plane is going to hit "air bumps" but it is going to stay in the sky regardless.
Another thing that helped is talking to pilots about my fears. They have a knack of allaying fears and helping people understand that a lot of their training revolves around "what to do in this situation" and that training continues throughout their career.
Start out slow and do what it takes to get from point A to point B. Go to your doctor and get medicinal help if needed. Get a seat between the front of the wings and the front of the plane - there are less "bumps" in this area. Bring noise cancelling headphones along with a device so you can watch a movie or listen to a book to take your mind off the flight. Bring a stress ball, some kind of needle craft to keep your hands busy or coloring book to help with the anxiety.
You can do this!!!
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,225
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Mar 26, 2019 23:06:27 GMT
My brother is a huge dude. He takes a Xanax before flying (and he travels a LOT). He's totally knocked out for the flight.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,225
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Mar 26, 2019 23:10:48 GMT
The trip would be next week, so not enough time for me to be ready to go. But my husband is going, so at least she will have someone there. My husband said we could drive, but I didn't think it was fair to him to have to spend so much time in the car because of my fear. I was going to drive there myself, but decided it would be a very long drive for just being there 2 days, and I am terrible with directions!
I know you said you don't want to BUT if your husband still is willing to drive, and you guys can take the time from home/work, I would do it! It would be a fun road trip for you two and your daughter would be so surprised to see you! Just an idea. We did a 24 hour road trip to Wisconsin last Summer (had tire trouble on the way which elongated our travel time) and even though it was the 5 of us (3 being kids) in our small-ish (at the time) SUV, we still had a fun time and it really wasn't THAT terribly long....
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 6:07:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2019 23:23:37 GMT
I never remember to get a medication before flying (it pretty much terrifies me) But I have learned a dramamine about 30 minutes before the scheduled boarding leaves me in a mellow sleepy state enough I need a travel companion to keep my on track. Then during take off/landing I practice some of my lamaze breathing from those ancient child birth classes. God bless my co-worker who gets me through the airports on layovers!
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Post by jackietex on Mar 27, 2019 1:58:20 GMT
I developed a fear of flying as a young adult. I turned down a great job that would have involved short trips of less than hour. I had to fly round trip to SE Asia twice, and was terrified the entire time. I passed up the opportunity to go to Phuket because I was too afraid. When my daughter was flown by plane from one hospital to another I was secretly happy that they said there wasn't room for me to go with her. What helped was an out of print book (but available used through Amazon) called White Knuckles: Getting Over the Fear of Flying by Layne Ridley, a former pilot. He explained the process of take off, flight, and landing in detail. It also helps me to think of flying as very similar to riding in a boat. The air that keeps a plane up in the air is actually very similar to water.
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