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Post by lesserknownpea on Mar 24, 2019 8:39:18 GMT
So I went to the funeral of the mother of my first fiancé. The guy who broke my heart. The one who made me feel the way all the songs describe. The one who made me decide I never wanted to love someone romantically to that extent again. It just hurt too much.
I totally married NSDX on the rebound, but that’s another story.
I knew he’d be at the funeral, but I liked his mom, and wanted to show my respects. I decided not to let fear or awkwardness keep me away.
He came up and told me he was sorry he was so bad to me. That he always regretted it. I didn’t sugar coat it, I told him how bad he hurt me, and he seemed sincere in his regret.
He also kept saying how great I look.
You know what? I DO. Eat your heart out loser.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,947
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Mar 24, 2019 10:18:53 GMT
Excellent!
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Post by Really Red on Mar 24, 2019 12:00:09 GMT
It is nice to get an apology. Glad you got yours  |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Mar 24, 2019 12:16:39 GMT
I would find some satisfaction in receiving the apology even though it really changes nothing at this point. And good for you for going to a funeral that meant something to you even if was a bit uncomfortable.
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Post by jenjie on Mar 24, 2019 12:27:07 GMT
I’m glad you got your apology even if it was so many years later. And I’m so proud of the way you handled yourself - even going to the funeral, and speaking up for yourself. Bonus that you look great and know it!
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 24, 2019 12:36:40 GMT
Look how strong you are! I love that you acknowledge you look great. You ARE great.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,843
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Mar 24, 2019 15:17:52 GMT
You have come so far.... I am super proud of you!!!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Mar 24, 2019 15:22:07 GMT
Your strength still amazes me, as does your courage! So glad you know you look good!!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 24, 2019 15:30:52 GMT
That’s awesome!  |
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Post by Zee on Mar 24, 2019 15:34:31 GMT
That was rather generous of him to apologize to you at his mother's funeral.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Mar 24, 2019 22:14:01 GMT
That was rather generous of him to apologize to you at his mother's funeral. I agree. I intended to bring up nothing of the past and just offer condolences, (his mom was a wonderful woman), but he wanted to get it off his chest, and I surprised myself by my candidness about my experience. I did end by hugging him and wishing him well. But the unexpected conversation left me in an odd mindset, as I revisited those days, and the somewhat unsettling experience of seeing him after all this time. And how nice it was to get an apology I never expected. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Mar 24, 2019 22:31:17 GMT
I freaking love the last line of your post.
Slay, queen, slay.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 24, 2019 23:56:32 GMT
You go girl! I love it!
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Post by PEAcan pie on Mar 25, 2019 1:50:43 GMT
that is great... what is NSDX??
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Post by lesserknownpea on Mar 25, 2019 1:53:03 GMT
that is great... what is NSDX?? Not So Dear Ex |
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Post by mammajamma on Mar 25, 2019 2:15:11 GMT
That is awesome! I have secretly dreamed for years about getting an apology from a heart crusher.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 25, 2019 3:04:10 GMT
I love your post on so many levels.
For him to take the time to apologize to you at all, let alone at his mother's funeral speaks to his character at this point in his life. I'm glad you got your apology and a candid conversation.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 21:59:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2019 3:52:42 GMT
I dearly would love to send a thank you letter to the gal that slept with my fiancé. She had such a bright future, and is stuck with that lummox. I am glad that I am not the mother of his children, I so want to thank her for that.
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 25, 2019 14:06:54 GMT
Good for you. I hope I can do that sometime in the future to a heart breaker. Doubt it will ever happen. He was 'the' one and took years to get over him. I'm sorry I wasted any freaking tears on him.
I love this line from a movie:
I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.
That was from Liv Tyler in That Thing You Do...
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,001
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Mar 25, 2019 14:19:47 GMT
Good for you. I hope I can do that sometime in the future to a heart breaker. Doubt it will ever happen. He was 'the' one and took years to get over him. I'm sorry I wasted any freaking tears on him. I love this line from a movie: I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.That was from Liv Tyler in That Thing You Do... OMG. THis. Best line ever! My favorite scene in this movie! Lesserknown, good for you, getting that apology is just the best! I tell you, that's a moment right there. Booya! |
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Post by librarylady on Mar 25, 2019 14:20:14 GMT
hmmmmmmmmm.........I'm "that girl"
Freshman year in college. Had a blind date with guy, we did hit it off. His university was 300 miles away, so we wrote lots of letters. I saw him in October (1st date), at Christmas holiday, and then at Easter. On our Easter date, at the end of the evening, he gave me his HS ring and said, "Until I can get a diamond."
I was stunned. My mind said, "Oh, NO! I have lots of living to do before engagement."
I was too stupid and inexperienced at dating.......I didn't know what to do, except I knew I had to stop dating him. When school
was out for the summer, as soon as I was home, he came over. (He lived about 30 miles from my home.) We went out to the car, and I told him we had to break it off. (I didn't want to be engaged and it was best not to lead him on.)
He wrote/called some in the summer, but I didn't see him again.
I have felt bad all these years. I know he was hurt deeply, but I also think I was right not to let him believe that we were headed to marriage when I knew we were not. About 10 years later, he called my mother and asked what had happened with me.
He was now married and thought if I was also married the two couples might want to get together. (WTH?) She told him I was married but lived 300 miles away and that was the last of me knowing anything about him.
I still feel guilty about just telling him I didn't want to date. I didn't know how to say to him, "You are moving this along much too fast for me."
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Post by lesserknownpea on Mar 25, 2019 20:00:32 GMT
hmmmmmmmmm.........I'm "that girl" Freshman year in college. Had a blind date with guy, we did hit it off. His university was 300 miles away, so we wrote lots of letters. I saw him in October (1st date), at Christmas holiday, and then at Easter. On our Easter date, at the end of the evening, he gave me his HS ring and said, "Until I can get a diamond." I was stunned. My mind said, "Oh, NO! I have lots of living to do before engagement." I was too stupid and inexperienced at dating.......I didn't know what to do, except I knew I had to stop dating him. When school was out for the summer, as soon as I was home, he came over. (He lived about 30 miles from my home.) We went out to the car, and I told him we had to break it off. (I didn't want to be engaged and it was best not to lead him on.) He wrote/called some in the summer, but I didn't see him again. I have felt bad all these years. I know he was hurt deeply, but I also think I was right not to let him believe that we were headed to marriage when I knew we were not. About 10 years later, he called my mother and asked what had happened with me. He was now married and thought if I was also married the two couples might want to get together. (WTH?) She told him I was married but lived 300 miles away and that was the last of me knowing anything about him. I still feel guilty about just telling him I didn't want to date. I didn't know how to say to him, "You are moving this along much too fast for me." He was obviously hurt, but you were honest with him. Totally different. This guy pursued me, won me over, turned my life upside down, and then cheated on me behind my back while we were engaged. THEN, he expected me to take him back. Breaking off our engagement and trying to move on with my life was so hard, and this guy continued to pursue me constantly. And I felt weak, my heart and soul craved his voice, his touch, his smell, even after what he did. He was good looking,(looked like Leo DiCaprio actually), charming, and had that “bad boy” James Dean edge. So when a nice, sweet, goody two shoes guy made it clear he wanted me, I jumped for it. I felt safe. Unfortunately, that didn’t turn out so well either. If I were more mature, or stronger, I’d have said no to both of these. But you, maybe you broke his heart, but you did it honestly, and I’m sure kindly. |
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