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Post by lesserknownpea on Jun 2, 2019 5:08:07 GMT
I’m tired of deciding what everyone is eating 3 times a day, 7 days a week. There was a year or two in our family’s life where NO ONE was allowed to ask me what was for dinner. For real. I could not deal with saying “ I don’t know “ to 5 different people, or over and over to kids that would ask every ten minutes. And if I did have a plan, I couldn’t cope with hearing the peanut gallery’s opinion on it, as at least one of those 5 people would be disappointed. They were actually pretty cute about it. They found workarounds like asking me, “is there something I can do to help get dinner going?” There was always dinner. No one ever starved. But I was seriously DONE with that question.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 2, 2019 10:53:00 GMT
My son is basically a toddler but a tall 10 year old who does not understand danger. I don't have a typical day or routine because he doesn't sleep much. My daughters issues are more mentally exhausting. My other son is technically an adult but not making the best choices. I know my mental work load will never change. It's hard to be positive about life.
Giant hugs, mama. I can't imagine how tough it must be. I have the same question as jeremysgirl. Is there any way you could get a break a couple times per week? Is there a day program for your son in your area? I hope it's not a stupid question. I'm sure you know what is available!
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 2, 2019 10:56:34 GMT
I'm kind of scared to read it to tell the truth. I've been at the maximum saturation point for worry and control for such a long time that I had a moment a few weeks ago where I decided I have to let some stuff go. my family is not adapting well. Just this morning Jeremy said, I need to tear down the shed and rebuild it. We both knew this was coming. Our shed is in terrible shape and we don't have a garage. And he said to me, when I tear down the shed what should I do with all the pieces. I just looked at him and, my brain is overworked with other things right now, you will have to lead this project yourself. And I could tell he was stunned. Good for you! I have found the more I said NO, the easier it got. Obviously retiring is not an option, but I am retiring a little earlier than I planned. My life feels like everyone wants a piece of me and there is not enough to go around. I can't believe how much better I feel already, with only 2 days left at work.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 2, 2019 13:43:00 GMT
One of my sisters is married to a guy who we now understand has ADD and one of her kids (now adult) has it too. Her DH worked second shift for years and years when their kids were little and she was mostly a SAHM. There were times when she would be about ready to scream or go on strike because everybody in her house seemingly refused to think things through. She would call me up and say, “I’m so tired of being the only one who can think in this house!” At one point she had a part time job and came home from work one afternoon when her DH was taking care of the kids on his day off, probably about 3 and 5 years old at the time. They were outside running through the sprinkler in their swimsuits. It was the beginning of May and maybe only about 60° outside. The water coming out of the hose was freezing and the kids’ teeth were chattering! She asked her DH what the @#$&* the kids were doing running through the sprinkler when it was still so cold out and his reply was, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “They *wanted* to do it.” After that episode, my sister put in her notice for that job because she said her DH couldn’t be trusted to make smart decisions regarding the kids.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Jun 2, 2019 14:38:04 GMT
I thought about this thread last night as I was putting together notes for the dog sitter....who was only stopping by to let the dog out twice during the day today (less than an hour each visit). So many little things like which toys are allowed to be in the crate and how to feed him dinner (he eats dinner from a feeding ball). It’s insane...and he’s a dog! 😆
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jun 2, 2019 18:17:48 GMT
I only had one child. DH was the one to ask about anything medical. I was only a SAHM for 2.5 years so we shared all responsibilities. He had the more flexible schedule so he did the heavy lifting on picking up if needed and trips to the doctor. I truly believe if your DH isn't picking up his fair share, you need to address it. Women are our own worst enemies about being martyrs and it's all on us. Then if he does help, it's not up to our standards. We huff and do it "because it's easier", that's why they don't do it. DH doesn't mow to my standards, but I'm happy to let him own that chore.
I also hate the "what's for dinner?" question when I get home. I'm the last one home every day and my response is, "I don't know what you plan while I was still at work?"
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Post by imkat on Jun 3, 2019 11:05:01 GMT
I was exhausted by my full time job and parenting responsibilities for 4 children. We made some changes that helped: *husband managed doctor, dentist, and hair appointments. not even on my radar. *kids began doing their own laundry in middle school. *husband managed sports schedules and told ME where to be. *when I left for a business trip, I never had a list of instructions for my husband. He was able to figure almost everything out when I was away.
I wouldn't say it was 50-50, but it did help.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Jun 5, 2019 23:09:24 GMT
I have three young kids, two in sports and a toddler. And am about to leave all three for the first time ever. And I’m in awe that you had time to type all that out 😂
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Post by belgravia on Jun 5, 2019 23:23:05 GMT
This thread reminds me of the time the husband of a friend of a friend (admittedly, he is a busy physician) had to drop something off at school for his daughter. He walked into the office to drop the item with the receptionist, who had to inform him that his daughter no longer attended that school!!
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