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Post by librarylady on Jun 14, 2019 12:26:58 GMT
Done. Rough time.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 14, 2019 14:09:14 GMT
Small update 6/14: Mom took grandma to her Dr for a follow up, and sign off on her getting into a facility...BUT, he told her she was doing everything right, and didn't need to change anything. She didn't need to move to a facility until she was bedridden. Well, that put the idea in mom's head that she at least had to TRY keeping her at home, but with the help of Visiting Angels that can come in to sit with her when mom needs to leave the house, and can come stay overnight. They will come in for an evaluation today. Prayers that that goes well. Grandma did a weird thing again last night around 2:30AM. Mom actually got about 2 hrs of sleep before this happened, which is about an hour and a half more than she usually gets before she has to get up. It just really worries me that mom wants to try to keep her home. I just worry about her stress level. She literally has no life outside of taking care of grandma, and taking my dad, aunt and neighbor to all of their Dr. appointments. I want this VA place to be all the help she needs, but I just don't know. I want mom to do what's right, not only for my grandma, but for her. She did say that she just wants to try, but is still pursuing the palliative care facility so that it will be ready for her when the time does come. I dread the day we are put in this situation. It really sucks. Thank you all SO much for all of your thoughts and prayers. They really need all they can get.
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Post by newscrapper05 on Jun 14, 2019 15:58:05 GMT
I hate to hear this update - my mom's doctor was adamant that it was time for her to go to a facility. His advice included the fact that the facility personnel know best how to handle things and that they can teach us too. However my brother wanted the chance to take care of her himself. He moved in with her and we split time approximately 70/30. She passed away unexpectedly on January 1. God's plan was better than mine.
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Post by librarylady on Jun 14, 2019 16:23:19 GMT
I can guarantee that Dr. has NEVER been a caregiver! He is full of it...to so casually say "Not until bedridden." Let him have all that on his responsibility list and then we shall see him change his tune.
Dressing the person, cajoling the person when the person wants to argue about EVERYTHING, keeping the person from wandering off, elimination of any social contact because of caregiving.........the list goes on. Has she seen the book "The 36 Hour Day" If not, read it.
I think your mother should get another dr. to sign off on the papers, especially since she has all the other "patients" to care for.
Hug to you all.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 15, 2019 2:19:34 GMT
Great mom/grandma news...
Mom was worried that the in home care she could have gotten through Visiting Angels would still not be the best situation, so she contacted the palliative care facility. They came to talk with her, and it’s been decided that grandma will go there tomorrow for the next 5 days for observation. They want to make sure they see her issues and can meet her needs.
The facility comes highly recommended by my moms neighbor that she’s known for at least 38 years, so she fully trusts her opinion. GJ is fully on board if it will make them both happy. That helps a TON. The facility will be covered by Medicare.
After talking with mom tonight, her demeanor seemed so much lighter. I feel so much better that she feels like this may be the right thing to do. Yay!
Thank you all SO much for your prayers. I feel that they have made a huge difference, and a black cloud has been lifted. Please continue to pray that the next 5 days go well, and that, if she is to stay there, the transition will be smooth.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jun 15, 2019 3:14:06 GMT
Hope it works out well for all of you.... Your mom will discover a bit of freedom with grandma away for 5 days... She should NOT feel guilty at all...
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,332
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Jun 15, 2019 3:44:51 GMT
Love your update. Things are falling into place.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 15, 2019 4:12:17 GMT
Hope it works out well for all of you.... Your mom will discover a bit of freedom with grandma away for 5 days... She should NOT feel guilty at all... Me, too! I know she loves her mom, and I know she knows she’s in a stressful situation, but I just don’t think she sees just how detrimental this has been. I hope that this lifts a huge burden from her heart, and she is able to enjoy the time grandma has here with us, whether it be days, or even 5 more years.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jun 15, 2019 4:21:05 GMT
Hope it works out well for all of you.... Your mom will discover a bit of freedom with grandma away for 5 days... She should NOT feel guilty at all... Me, too! I know she loves her mom, and I know she knows she’s in a stressful situation, but I just don’t think she sees just how detrimental this has been. I hope that this lifts a huge burden from her heart, and she is able to enjoy the time grandma has here with us, whether it be days, or even 5 more years. This will allow her to be a loving funny daughter instead of the exhausted caregiver.
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Post by jenjie on Jun 15, 2019 9:17:21 GMT
Praise God what a great update! Praying this will be a good fit.
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Post by gillyp on Jun 15, 2019 10:19:01 GMT
What a great update. Fingers crossed that the next five days are successful and all works out well
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 15, 2019 11:31:39 GMT
I am happy to hear things are going well.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 15, 2019 15:05:48 GMT
Me, too! I know she loves her mom, and I know she knows she’s in a stressful situation, but I just don’t think she sees just how detrimental this has been. I hope that this lifts a huge burden from her heart, and she is able to enjoy the time grandma has here with us, whether it be days, or even 5 more years. This will allow her to be a loving funny daughter instead of the exhausted caregiver. Yes, exactly.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 20, 2019 1:03:24 GMT
UPDATE 6/19 8PM:
More great news...
After her 5 days of respite care (observation), the home has determined that she does not yet qualify for hospice. That means that Medicare won't cover her stay. The good thing is, grandma has the money to pay for private care. She will be able to stay for about a year before those funds run out. At that time, it will be determined if she is qualified to stay, and Medicare would kick in to cover it.
In the meantime, my mom is still looking at other facilities. Some have up to a year wait list, so if she finds one she really likes, she will go ahead and get her on that list, and just remover her if they end up not needing to move her.
Mom talked with the funeral home about the things she has covered, and everything has been paid for with the exception of the flowers, and if we decide to do a slide show, which we like.
All in all, things seem to be going smoothly. The hardest thing for mom right now is that they are not feeding her the same way she would, and it's hard for her to give up control of her care, and put her in someone elses hands that she knows won't follow her guidelines. Thanks, again, for your thoughts and prayers!
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Post by gillyp on Jun 20, 2019 9:11:14 GMT
You sound a little more relaxed about it all now and I hope mom is too, other than her concerns re grandma’s food. Sounds like you have some good plans in place.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 20, 2019 10:32:49 GMT
KikiPea That's great news. I bet your mom will feel better once she sees how well your gram will do there.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 20, 2019 13:40:30 GMT
You sound a little more relaxed about it all now and I hope mom is too, other than her concerns re grandma’s food. Sounds like you have some good plans in place. Yes, I feel much better knowing that mom feels better about everything. I know how hard this has been for her. I’m glad everything seemed to fall into place easily.
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