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Post by freecharlie on Jun 14, 2019 0:11:19 GMT
I let one of ds's friends move in in March so that he could finish high school.
His parents kicked him out part way through his sophomore year and he lived with other friends and his girlfriend's family before that.
They graduated May 19th.
I am so ready for him to get the hell out. He doesn't pay rent and doesn't close up the bread or buns. He doesn't replace the soda from the fridge so I end up without cold soda.
I want my house back. I want my spare bedroom back...
But I can't just kick an 18 year old kid to the curb.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,086 
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Post by AllieC on Jun 14, 2019 0:29:26 GMT
Good on you for helping this young man out, it will have made a huge difference to his life.
Now it is time to have some hard conversations. What are his plans going forward? College, work etc? Sit him down and make a realistic plan. Connect him with agencies who can help. Say you have given him a home willingly and while he remains there he needs to respect it.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 14, 2019 0:34:10 GMT
It sounds like he has really made himself at home.  I think you have done a great thing for him and there is nothing wrong with having a reminder talk about how you expect things to be left in the kitchen if he wants free range. |
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Post by Merge on Jun 14, 2019 0:36:13 GMT
So instead of one 18 year old, you have two. Lucky you! Is he headed to college this fall?
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 14, 2019 0:45:58 GMT
So instead of one 18 year old, you have two. Lucky you! Is he headed to college this fall? ds will be heading off the end of August. Extra kid is not. He was supposed to move out in June or July but I am not seeing any progress on that front. In fact, he seems to be working less hours than when we left for vacation. I tried to talk him into going to the junior college about 2 hours away because he could have gotten lots of scholarship money and it has forms so he would have room and board, but it was too far from his girlfriend. |
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Post by trixiecat on Jun 14, 2019 0:47:07 GMT
So I am struggling with this now. I want to kick my 19 year old out. But why would someone else want his issues? I give you alot of credit. Not sure what your son's friends future is, but if he is going off to college I think you are stuck with him for 2 more months.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 14, 2019 0:51:39 GMT
Do not make it easy for him the next month or two. Each time he does something wrong, tell him and if possible make him correct it. I don’t think it will take long and he will be looking in earnest for a new place to live. If he is not paying rent then he can pay in household chores.
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Post by Merge on Jun 14, 2019 0:56:38 GMT
So instead of one 18 year old, you have two. Lucky you! Is he headed to college this fall? ds will be heading off the end of August. Extra kid is not. He was supposed to move out in June or July but I am not seeing any progress on that front. In fact, he seems to be working less hours than when we left for vacation. I tried to talk him into going to the junior college about 2 hours away because he could have gotten lots of scholarship money and it has forms so he would have room and board, but it was too far from his girlfriend. Oh hell no. Is it too late for him to apply to the junior college? Unless girlfriend is willing to take him in, he needs to be figuring that out himself. (I know, easier said than done.) |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 14, 2019 1:05:50 GMT
You've done a wonderful thing for this boy. Now it is time to sit down with him and come up with a plan of action. There needs to be a deadline on when he will be out of your home and he needs to actively work towards that deadline. He also should be contributing to the household, preferably in rent (even a nominal amount). It will help show him the reality of being an adult and the responsibilities he is going to have from here on out. You are doing him no favors if you continue to let him just live there rent free and not sharing in the upkeep.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 14, 2019 1:32:20 GMT
ds will be heading off the end of August. Extra kid is not. He was supposed to move out in June or July but I am not seeing any progress on that front. In fact, he seems to be working less hours than when we left for vacation. Give him a date to be moved out...do it now. |
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Post by JustKim on Jun 14, 2019 2:06:19 GMT
I say give him until the end of the month. You have given enough. If there is such a lack of respect then the welcome is over. Good luck. It's not easy, but it time to stand on his own feet otherwise he will not grow up. The sooner the better, IMO.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 14, 2019 2:09:48 GMT
He needs a chat about respect for the rules of the house. He needs to pay rent, even if it is a token amount.
You are a wonderful person to take him in. Treat him like your own kid...rules, plans, chores.
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