|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Jul 11, 2019 2:27:10 GMT
Ohhhh man oh man... he was driving a truck over the road for the last 3 years. I had my schedule at home and he had his on the road. Now he is back, which is great BUT he is driving me up the wall.
I get home from vacation and first thing my kitchen rugs are gone and he puts down bathroom rugs?? WHAT the hell? Where are my rugs? One he says he put in the washer and it still looked dirty. NO... you have to vacuum it first to get the mostly dog hair off and then wash it and hang to dry. Nope, it’s gone. My other rug he says he didn’t see one when he got home. WHAT? It was there when I left I suppose someone broke in and stoled it.
He leaves the shower curtain open so then the liner gets that mold on it. I swear I have used the same liner for a year with no issues and 3 days he is back and it looks like there is a year of mold on it already.
Plus he moves the adjusted shower head to the slow moving water... ugggg.
He follows me everywhere and asks the dumbest things. DD leftovers in the fridge. He asks me if he should throw it away. As I said before it’s not my food, I don’t mess with it and gets into a conversation about her food. I DON’T Know!!!
I go upstairs and he is on my heels...
I swear if we are not divorced by the end of the year it will be amazing.
Oh yeah his hourly complaints on my crafting stuff better end soon.
And NO your “birthday” gift as you call it, sorry I don’t like. It’s a new lawn/camping type chair. All cameo. 20 plus years of marriage and you still don’t get that cameo is not my thing. I said what if I bought the exact same chair in pink and flowers how would you feel? Of course smarty pants says he would have loved it.
I know I sound bitchy .... I got to get used to our new normal!!
|
|
grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,740 
|
Post by grammanisi on Jul 11, 2019 2:35:05 GMT
I do feel for you. My DH is a ltl heavy load delivery driver. He's home every night, but not before 10:00p.m. I am basically on my own m-f. He was home 4 days over the 4th and I thought was gonna lose it!
I wish you the best! I don't know what will happen in a couple of years when he retires.
|
|
|
|
Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jul 11, 2019 2:35:20 GMT
Haha I sympathize with you mine is a pain in the ass too! Most days I want to junk punch him!
Frankly I think most lean towards PITA a lot of the time.
|
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Jul 11, 2019 2:40:59 GMT
Thank goodness my husband has hobbies and likes to read, otherwise he would drive me crazy too.
When I was little I used to watch Ozzie and Harriet reruns with my dad and we would laugh about how Ozzie was always never working and was always pestering poor Harriet when she was trying to get stuff done.
|
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Jul 11, 2019 3:03:13 GMT
I hear ya.
Our entire relationship dh worked nights. In January he went to days. Thankfully he feels he needs 10 hours of sleep so I still get some of my night free when he works.
I still dont get to watch everything I want and neither does he.
And after decades of having at least some nights where I have the entire bed to myself, now I only get after 5 am when he gets up.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 22:22:56 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2019 3:12:14 GMT
And NO your “birthday” gift as you call it, sorry I don’t like. I read this several times wondering if this was code for  .  Yikes about DH being underfoot. Encourage him to get a hobby. |
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 3:12:57 GMT
Mine worked most nights until 8 or 10 pm and on Saturdays. When he retired, it was a huge adjustment. He still did his chores and I did mine, but he liked to do some big projects and he redid the garage, painted the entire house and added wood floors. By the time I retired 2 years later, my house was pretty darn updated. I do love that our house has 3 levels and almost 3,000 square feet. We have our own levels if needed.
I know other wives that have told their husbands that if they pester them, they will give them a list of chores. Just like some moms do to kids in the summer.
|
|
|
|
Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jul 11, 2019 3:15:25 GMT
{{HUGS}}My DH got laid off after 23 year almost 3 weeks ago. He is still weighing his offers, but he needs to choose one and go back to work! I ask for 1 hour; from 1-2 PM. All 3 dogs are napping and I can sit down without one or 3 in my lap, eat, check Email/social media and watch Nicole Wallace's show on TV. He has to talk over every guest and comment on every f*cking comment. STFU!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by jemali on Jul 11, 2019 3:24:43 GMT
My mom worked in the school cafeteria. One of her coworkers husband retired and made her crazy. So every day, even when there was no school, she would put on her uniform and leave the house and get home at the same time as though she was going to work.
|
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 3:30:27 GMT
My mom worked in the school cafeteria. One of her coworkers husband retired and made her crazy. So every day, even when there was no school, she would put on her uniform and leave the house and get home at the same time as though she was going to work. This cracked me up. My son got his college diploma in the mail two weeks ago. I said, "Let me see that." I had to check it out because who knows if he was really attending school the last four years. I've just been paying out checks for four years and trusting he was actually going to class. ETA: Where did she go? |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 28, 2024 22:22:56 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2019 3:32:10 GMT
I can’t even.....he brought home 5 boxes of jello, not the premade stuff. I get everything prefect for everybody else... I just wanted jello for dinner.
|
|
|
|
Post by femalebusiness on Jul 11, 2019 4:14:06 GMT
There must be something wrong with me. The day my husband retired was the best day of my life. We are together 24/7 and I love it. He is my best friend and I don't care what we are doing as long as I am with him.
I swear I am usually laughing before my eyes are all the way open in the morning.
|
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Jul 11, 2019 4:16:13 GMT
Thanks for the stories!!! I loved them!! The jello thing would be exactly something he would do too!!
I’m still fuming over my damn rugs. He had no clue and acts like his feelings are so hurt 🙄🙄😳🥴
|
|
|
|
Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jul 11, 2019 4:18:50 GMT
I really feel for you because it is such a big adjustment. The first several months they are trying to reclaim their spot in the home. I call it the "peeing on trees" phase. You know, like dogs marking their territory.  DH and I lived apart for 7.5 years due to his international assignment not meshing with DD's school needs. While we saw him, it was usually for 2-3 weeks at a time a couple of times each year. When he was transferred to Paris, I moved there as well. The first year was really, really rough, but we survived. Fast forward a few years to when he retired. He was doing some consulting, but out of his home office. If he hadn't been hired full time by his current company, I was ready to dust off my resume and go back to work. I told friends having him home after retirement was just like having a toddler again. If he wasn't following me around to show me something, he wanted me to come see something on tv. Then there were the constant requests to go to the store, etc. with him. Now that I've had a taste of what retirement was, I'm really dreading when he finally retires for good. |
|
|
|
Post by malibou on Jul 11, 2019 4:41:30 GMT
These stories are making me giggle. My dh retired back in December, it's been awesome. I still do my thing, and he does his and we are spending lots of time together. Seriously, I'm loving it. He's my best friend and makes me laugh like a cartoon hyena on the regular.
|
|
|
|
Post by jemali on Jul 11, 2019 5:36:40 GMT
My mom worked in the school cafeteria. One of her coworkers husband retired and made her crazy. So every day, even when there was no school, she would put on her uniform and leave the house and get home at the same time as though she was going to work. This cracked me up. My son got his college diploma in the mail two weeks ago. I said, "Let me see that." I had to check it out because who knows if he was really attending school the last four years. I've just been paying out checks for four years and trusting he was actually going to class. ETA: Where did she go? She went shopping, out to lunch... |
|
|
|
Post by mrst on Jul 11, 2019 8:48:00 GMT
My dh and I are together 24/7 and I love it. I'm not sure I could spend my life with someone I couldn't get on with. Life is too short.
|
|
|
|
Post by KelleeM on Jul 11, 2019 9:34:21 GMT
There must be something wrong with me. The day my husband retired was the best day of my life. We are together 24/7 and I love it. He is my best friend and I don't care what we are doing as long as I am with him. I swear I am usually laughing before my eyes are all the way open in the morning. Except for the 24/7 part I could have written this. We enjoy our time together and don’t bother each other at all. I work and he’s retired...I come home to dinner ready, the house neat, vacuumed, laundry done (including put away which is huge to me). Right now we’re on vacation and have been together virtually every minute since Monday morning and there hasn’t been a cross word, raised voice or slightest disagreement. He loves spending every minute together while I do need a little alone time sometimes but we get along so well. |
|
kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
|
Post by kibblesandbits on Jul 11, 2019 10:20:40 GMT
There must be something wrong with me. The day my husband retired was the best day of my life. We are together 24/7 and I love it. He is my best friend and I don't care what we are doing as long as I am with him. I swear I am usually laughing before my eyes are all the way open in the morning. Mine retired last week, no warning 😄 I am thrilled. He has hos stuff to do, as do I. We bought him a bike and we have been riding. We have instituted happy hour every day at 5, and take our drinks outside and look at the view. My favorite is that we get to eat lunch together. |
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Jul 11, 2019 12:35:34 GMT
Mine worked most nights until 8 or 10 pm and on Saturdays. When he retired, it was a huge adjustment. He still did his chores and I did mine, but he liked to do some big projects and he redid the garage, painted the entire house and added wood floors. By the time I retired 2 years later, my house was pretty darn updated. I do love that our house has 3 levels and almost 3,000 square feet. We have our own levels if needed. I know other wives that have told their husbands that if they pester them, they will give them a list of chores. Just like some moms do to kids in the summer. We joke that having a multi level house saved our marriage. |
|
|
|
Post by quinlove on Jul 11, 2019 12:56:30 GMT
And NO your “birthday” gift as you call it, sorry I don’t like. I read this several times wondering if this was code for . Yikes about DH being underfoot. Encourage him to get a hobby. Ha ! Me too. 😬 |
|
|
|
Post by tyra on Jul 11, 2019 13:09:28 GMT
Oh I hear you! That is SO tough!!!!
DH has been working 2nd shift for years. We are together 2 nights a week. The rest of the week we don't see each other. Now, I love that man more than anything. But I am dreading December when he switches to days. I have a routine in the evenings. That routine goes out the window when he is home. And it is going to drive me batty until I get used it to when he is home every.night.
|
|
|
|
Post by Blind Squirrel on Jul 11, 2019 13:15:41 GMT
I get it! It's a hard adjustment. My DH's work was seasonal, so he was home in the winter (and on rain days). It takes some time to get used to, but I always had spring to look forward to!  |
|
|
|
Post by mellowyellow on Jul 11, 2019 13:23:10 GMT
I get it....I truly do. My dh has worked offshore for 20 of our 25 years of marriage. Most of my friends have always said there is no way they could do it but it works for us. I love my dh truly but I also like my time alone too. The house runs a lot differently when he's home. I like things neat and orderly and he's a bit messy. He leaves stuff out all the time. He also tends to hog the tv. He's gone 2 weeks and home 2 weeks. We like this rotation best.
|
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Jul 11, 2019 13:24:24 GMT
For those who love their hubby and can be by their side 24/7.. kudos to you.. (Edited to add).. I do like my alone time... him following me around like a puppy is getting old quick.
As much as I love my husband, he could really use some hobbies and really could help out more around the house. But it is what it is.. things will settle down soon and plus I am thinking about setting up a 'chore' chart for both of us. And bill chart. He can now start helping in both of these areas. No excuses anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by dockmaster on Jul 11, 2019 13:35:53 GMT
My Mister retired from the Military and took a travel job. I can and do travel with him some of the time. Anyway, when he is home or one of the kids are home, I sometimes feel invaded. I love my husband, he is my best friend and we get a long great. But, we became empty nesters at the same time he retired and took this job. I live a lone 90% of the time. When everybody comes home, I feel crowded. DH and I get on just fine, he does his thing and I do mine. However, I have things and do things the way I like, because I live here. He comes home and changes things. I usually suck it up, because our time is limited and I don't want to waste it by being petty.
|
|
|
|
Post by LisaDV on Jul 11, 2019 13:48:42 GMT
I hear you. DH was laid off starting in 2015 and opened his own consulting company. He worked from home all but 2 days a week where he was at a clients office for the next few years. Drove me insane. I love my dh and love spending time with him. But we still have kids at home. One kid was going through some sort of illness that we were trying to get to the bottom of and are still trying to heal from. I think it would be different if the kids weren't home. He accepted a full time job at a company last October, and I was very grateful.
As to the rugs. He didn't know to vacuum first, and he really thought he was trying to help. Explain it nicely while appreciating the fact that he was trying to help. As to not knowing the difference between bath and kitchen, see if you can show him the difference. If he sees it, great, he'll know for next time. If he doesn't, see if you can make something to distinguish them. I have cloth diapers for cleaning and flour sack towels for the kitchen. My DH can't tell them apart at all. I bought different cleaning towels that he knows are for cleaning.
As to the gift, sometimes my dh buys something so spot on for me and other times I'm like "do you even know me at all". However, each gift came from a point of love, try to remember that. He was probably thinking about hanging out with you by the fires and such.
As to the shower curtain. hugs. 20+ years and I've got DH to not leave a trail of work clothes around the house (for the most part), but still can't get him to put his shoes away. Or put away things after he's worked on a project. He tells me baby steps and he's sure he'll be there by the time we're in our 90s....
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Jul 11, 2019 15:48:02 GMT
LOL. I feel for you. DH is like this on his days off. It’s strange because I am alone so much of the time with the kids off at school and his long hours.
What you describe is similar to what military spouses go through after a deployment. We’ve managed the house, kids, pets, everything on our own for so long, then the deployed spouse comes back and they are in the middle of everything. They feel left out because we’ve gone on and changed things around the house and made decisions that they weren’t a part of. And we are put out because suddenly we have to run everything by them when we are used to just getting it done. It was the hardest when they kids were little and changing so quickly. Discipline and privileges changed over the course of several months and I’d have to explain the new rules to DH.
You will find your new normal. And I agree—give him a list of things that need to get done. Send him on errands by himself. And enjoy some of the honeymoon time as well with the reunion!
|
|
freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
|
Post by freebird on Jul 11, 2019 15:51:14 GMT
I feel you.
I can tell when mine has lots of time on his hands, he'll start texting me lists of shit to do (me) because he's sitting there thinking about stuff.
|
|
|
|
Post by ladytrisha on Jul 11, 2019 16:39:25 GMT
Mine has been off work for 4 years ... it was valid at first (knee blew out, long delay thru 2 health care companies before he got replacement, then had to deal with his Mom and getting her into a home via court order). Okay...but she's been there now, and he's "fine".
We agreed he'd try and get in at Costco or Trader Joe's (I have a friend at TJ's who said she'd get him in, but he hemmed and hawed).
So I go to work 5 days a week, 90 min. commute and he does yard work and errands for the neighbor who lost her license.
Sigh.
Then tells me he wants to go on vacation because we haven't gone on one in soooo long.
I will say our yards are in the best shape ever - though he could slack a bit and wash a window or floor to even it up - and don't ask me what I want for dinner when I get home - good grief, you're home all day. I bought him an Instant Pot for Christmas because "here's your sign" ... it hasn't worked.
I'm now on Prozac because of stress and trying to make my salary pay for everything. He's oblivious. Cute but way oblivious.
Ugh.
|
|
