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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 11, 2019 22:50:57 GMT
For the first time in almost 30 years of marriage, I spoke up on behalf of my husbands parents. They are wonderful people and have helped their daughter raise her two sons and still provide a home for her at 58 years old. She was in a horrible mood and I called her out on her blatant disrespect and treatment of them. My husband wasn't there so before I knew it, it just came out of my mouth. I think I'm the first in the family that ever enlightened her. She's having quite the Facebook pity party so I put her on a 30 day FB snooze. Any similar sil drama and how did you handle it?
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 11, 2019 23:01:05 GMT
Snooze is a magical thing. When my brother goes sexist or political, I use it.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 11, 2019 23:01:39 GMT
I would have not snoozed her and watched her have her pity party. But I am an asshole like that.
Good for you for sticking up for the in laws.
I'm one of the few people who will call my fil and bil out. I hold it in usually, but sometimes I snap and out them is their place.
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Post by crittsmom on Jul 11, 2019 23:03:29 GMT
I think snooze is a wonderful feature.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Jul 11, 2019 23:05:43 GMT
Haha good for you! Shes 58 and mommy and daddy provide her a home FFS that's just pathetic!
My SIL is a piece of shit. Her mom has practically raised her 3 kids, she can't wipe her own ass without conferring with my MIL. Her world revolves around those 3 grandkids and no others.
Both her and my MIL could drop off the face of the earth and I wouldn't shed a tear.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 11, 2019 23:10:23 GMT
You did good OP!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 20, 2024 21:41:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2019 23:25:02 GMT
Good for you for defending your MIL and FIL. Is she bashing you on FB because that would have me seeing red?
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,546 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Jul 12, 2019 0:24:48 GMT
Good for you for standing up for your in-laws.
I've had my share of calling out people on bullshit lately - today was my Dad's doctor, and I have to say it felt good.
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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 12, 2019 0:42:25 GMT
Good for you for defending your MIL and FIL. Is she bashing you on FB because that would have me seeing red? No, she finds these self pitying memes about being the black sheep and crawling into a dark corner and wanting to be left alone. My husband is disturbed enough that he says he wants to talk to her. Sometime he's too diplomatic though. She just needs to grow up and quit being so self absorbed. |
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Post by mom on Jul 12, 2019 0:54:51 GMT
I would totally be watching her pity party (and I'd throw a 'like' in there every so often so she knew I was watching. Good for you for standing up to her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 20, 2024 21:41:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2019 0:57:35 GMT
No, she finds these self pitying memes about being the black sheep and crawling into a dark corner and wanting to be left alone. Here's a perfect response to her FB posts:  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 20, 2024 21:41:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2019 1:25:08 GMT
No, she finds these self pitying memes about being the black sheep and crawling into a dark corner and wanting to be left alone.Ā Here's a perfect response to her FB posts: I need to give that to my dad. I have an aunt who does these pity parties and blames everyone else but herself for her problems. My dad is over 10 years older than her! She was 10 when he married my mom. He had two kids before she even had one so there is no way he is responsible for the choices she made. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 12, 2019 1:34:26 GMT
I have a SIL (DH's sister) that blames everyone else for her problems. She is always the victim. I could write a book.
I call her out occasionally. Mostly I try to keep my distance.
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Post by Laurie on Jul 12, 2019 3:10:07 GMT
Wait a hot second...what is this snooze feature you speak of?
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 12, 2019 3:14:16 GMT
Wait a hot second...what is this snooze feature you speak of? you can hide posts from people for 30 days |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 12, 2019 3:14:35 GMT
I would totally be watching her pity party (and I'd throw a 'like' in there every so often so she knew I was watching. Good for you for standing up to her. yup me too |
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Post by Laurie on Jul 12, 2019 3:16:52 GMT
Wait a hot second...what is this snooze feature you speak of? you can hide posts from people for 30 days Well hells bells off to fb to find this feature. š |
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sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,448
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Jul 12, 2019 9:02:39 GMT
you can hide posts from people for 30 days Well hells bells off to fb to find this feature. š See those 3 little dots at the top right of a post? Click on that, and you get a dropdown menu. One of the options is 'snooze XYZ for 30 days' - click on that and they are hidden. I think you get a reminder when the 30 days are up, so you can decide if you want to see them again, snooze for another 30 days, or unfollow. |
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Post by auntkelly on Jul 12, 2019 12:56:51 GMT
If it were me, I would quietly celebrate the fact that I finally got to speak my mind and then I would not say another word about my sil for a long time. Your husbandās parents might be on your side right now, but if theyāve been letting her take advantage of them for 58 years, theyāll eventually go back to defending her. Itās hard to break old family habits.
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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 12, 2019 14:11:30 GMT
If it were me, I would quietly celebrate the fact that I finally got to speak my mind and then I would not say another word about my sil for a long time. Your husbandās parents might be on your side right now, but if theyāve been letting her take advantage of them for 58 years, theyāll eventually go back to defending her. Itās hard to break old family habits. I totally realize that. They go through these storms, silent treatment for a few days, and then they just start talking but never address the problem in the first place. It's a sad cycle. SIL is training her son how to treat her when she's 87 years old so there's that karma coming her way.
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Post by ShesaRenegade on Jul 12, 2019 14:19:47 GMT
I did this, except it was my sister and my parents. My sister was taking enormous advantage of my parents and I'd had enough, and so had they, which they expressed to me in conversation. To make a long story short, I called my sister on her antics and I became the one blacklisted by the family. I was told to stay the hell out of their lives and have not had contact with either since 2015.
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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 12, 2019 14:33:11 GMT
I did this, except it was my sister and my parents. My sister was taking enormous advantage of my parents and I'd had enough, and so had they, which they expressed to me in conversation. To make a long story short, I called my sister on her antics and I became the one blacklisted by the family. I was told to stay the hell out of their lives and have not had contact with either since 2015. A sad "wow!". I truly hope this doesn't happen in our case. I've always had a great relationship with my husbands parents and when they're with us, I make sure to engage with them constantly and take them places even if it's to my folks house for playing cards or garage sales which they love. Sadly, my FIL had a stroke 2 years ago which has greatly impacted his speech. When my SIL retreats to her room for the day to watch her live police shows and doing her hobby, my MIL has no one to have a conversation with so we talk on the phone a lot. My SIL calls herself the caregiver but really my MIL is the one who cooks and cleans still at 87 years old. |
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Post by salem on Jul 12, 2019 14:35:21 GMT
Adult children that are disrespectful leeches who are too lazy to support themselves and still criticize the hand that feeds them, never like to be called out on their shit. The parents are just as much to blame for putting up with that treatment, although Iām sure this arrangement probably started out with SIL fallen on hard times and their worry about her child also. It never goes well. I applaud you for speaking your mind. Iām not one that thinks because itās your ILās that your spouse should handle things. When you see that kind of stuff going on, you let them know itās not acceptable.
My SIL is a āvictimā. As long as Iāve known her, itās always someone elseās fault. She canāt stand me because I donāt put up with it. Iām totally ok with that.
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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 12, 2019 14:50:16 GMT
Adult children that are disrespectful leeches who are too lazy to support themselves and still criticize the hand that feeds them, never like to be called out on their shit. The parents are just as much to blame for putting up with that treatment, although Iām sure this arrangement probably started out with SIL fallen on hard times and their worry about her child also. It never goes well. I applaud you for speaking your mind. Iām not one that thinks because itās your ILās that your spouse should handle things. When you see that kind of stuff going on, you let them know itās not acceptable. My SIL is a āvictimā. As long as Iāve known her, itās always someone elseās fault. She canāt stand me because I donāt put up with it. Iām totally ok with that. Yes, you are right about my nephews. My nephews never knew a different home other than my in laws. Their well being became a priority for them but in turn that gave my SIL freedom and lightened her parental load. My in laws definitely made some mistakes early on that carried on through out the years. My SIL should be forever grateful to them but it's not how she behaves. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 12, 2019 15:10:49 GMT
Adult children that are disrespectful leeches who are too lazy to support themselves and still criticize the hand that feeds them, never like to be called out on their shit. The parents are just as much to blame for putting up with that treatment, although Iām sure this arrangement probably started out with SIL fallen on hard times and their worry about her child also. It never goes well. I applaud you for speaking your mind. Iām not one that thinks because itās your ILās that your spouse should handle things. When you see that kind of stuff going on, you let them know itās not acceptable. My SIL is a āvictimā. As long as Iāve known her, itās always someone elseās fault. She canāt stand me because I donāt put up with it. Iām totally ok with that. Yes, you are right about my nephews. My nephews never knew a different home other than my in laws. Their well being became a priority for them but in turn that gave my SIL freedom and lightened her parental load.Ā My in laws definitely made some mistakes early on that carried on through out the years. My SIL should be forever grateful to them but it's not how she behaves.Ā I see my friend doing this with her daughter (under 25) with her three kids by 3 different dads. My friend loves the grandbabies and can't make them suffer, so daughter and her husband (who me my friend kicked out of their house while they were dating g so the daughter married hin and go pregnant so that my friend would let him move in) |
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Post by coloradocropper on Jul 12, 2019 15:19:19 GMT
Yes, you are right about my nephews. My nephews never knew a different home other than my in laws. Their well being became a priority for them but in turn that gave my SIL freedom and lightened her parental load. My in laws definitely made some mistakes early on that carried on through out the years. My SIL should be forever grateful to them but it's not how she behaves. I see my friend doing this with her daughter (under 25) with her three kids by 3 different dads. My friend loves the grandbabies and can't make them suffer, so daughter and her husband (who me my friend kicked out of their house while they were dating g so the daughter married hin and go pregnant so that my friend would let him move in) Wow. That's a twisted reason to bring a baby into the world. |
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