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Post by rrp23 on Jul 22, 2019 17:23:51 GMT
My parents live across the street. My dad will practically beg me to come over. Im happy to see them, but get annoyed because im always the one making the effort. Rarely do they visit my home, and usually its to ask for something. Ugh. My family is so dysfunctional!
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 22, 2019 17:26:59 GMT
If my parents lived across the street they would probably be at my house every other hour.
My parents live 4 hrs away, So they come to stay 2-3xs a year. so yea.
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Post by dewryce on Jul 22, 2019 17:30:21 GMT
Yep, mom is driving in from out of town as we speak, and she was here last week. It’s actually the opposite for us, as I don’t visit her at home. It’s only 2 hours away and I’m happy to drive but between her and my brother they probably smoke 3 packs a day and if I am there for more than 15 minutes my throat will hurt. Any substantial amount of time and it will hurt for days and I’ll feel horrible for just as long. And yes, clothes can be washed, but suitcases can’t, and my car will absorb the smoke smell just from the trip home. It’s actually quite frustrating because I don’t want her to have to be the one to drive all the time.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 22, 2019 17:31:47 GMT
My MIL is like that. She will be at the tailor less than a mile away, but won't call or stop. Late FIL always thought we should go there. He actually said it's easier.  My parents live 2 hours away. They stay here every few months. I don't think your situation is unusual, especially if they are elderly. I validate your frustration. |
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,622 
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Post by basketdiva on Jul 22, 2019 17:34:03 GMT
Have you ever asked them why they don’t come over? Maybe because they live so close they don’t want to considered to be intrusive.
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Post by disneypal on Jul 22, 2019 17:42:03 GMT
My parents moved to another state but when they did live in the same town, I would go over to their house (about 5 miles away) about 2 or 3 times a week. They would rarely come over to mine, unless I specifically invited them. It didn't bother me though. I actually preferred to go to their house, that way I didn't have to worry if my house was clean enough 
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,785
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jul 22, 2019 17:44:45 GMT
No. They live in a different country and since a health scare with my Dad they have limited their travel overseas.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 22, 2019 17:45:13 GMT
My sister lived across town and didn’t like that we wouldn’t just stop in. I was over there at least 4-5x week but apparently that wasn’t enough. I couldn’t win that one.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 22, 2019 17:49:29 GMT
My in-laws visited us once before my FIL died. Family always went to them where FIL was “comfortable”. Some people are weird like that. We’re not close enough for anyone to just “drop by”.
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Post by teach4u on Jul 22, 2019 17:53:55 GMT
My mom lives 5 minutes away. She stops in 5-10 times a year if it’s not a scheduled event. I see her 3-5 times a month at her house.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,772
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 22, 2019 17:56:00 GMT
When everybody was still driving and in good health....my parents (divorced) had no problem visiting us. We're six hours away so they'd each visit a couple times per year. My MIL has been to our house twice in 23 years.
Oddly, our adult kids ONLY come to our house. They never invite us over! lol
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Post by lostwithout2peas on Jul 22, 2019 18:00:25 GMT
When my Father was alive it was rare that he would visit, but he would visit. We lived in the same town but about a 45 minute drive away. Occassionally him and my stepmother would be out and about and call to see if we where home and if they could stop by. I didn't mind. We mostly visited him. No real reason except it was mostly all us brothers and sisters getting together at his house for a bbq or holiday or something.
My mom doesn't drive and is single and lives alone with my single sister so we have my mom over quite often and have her sleep over as well. She's actually like the 6th person of our family. We take her everywhere with us. She and my husband have an awesome relationship!
My MIL and FIL always visit and are welcome to stop in whenever they like. They usually call ahead with enough time for me to change out of my PJ's.
We also visit our parents just as much if not probably more at their home/ our childhood home.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 22, 2019 18:13:21 GMT
No parents to visit anymore. We always went to them because in the end they were elderly and frail.
As for other family, I have one sister from out of town who comes to stay with us once or twice a year. They aren’t really coming to see us though, they are coming to visit BIL’s elderly parents which is totally okay. That they also get to visit with us when they’re here is a bonus.
We always end up going to DH’s sister’s house across town and it’s a total pain always having to go to her.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 22, 2019 18:15:26 GMT
Yes, my dad comes over every Sunday.
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Post by rrp23 on Jul 22, 2019 18:20:49 GMT
Have you ever asked them why they don’t come over? Maybe because they live so close they don’t want to considered to be intrusive. I have but they dont give me an answer. There isnt a reason for them not to. I think its more of a control issue. Mom wont come over, so he wont, either. |
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,467
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jul 22, 2019 18:24:28 GMT
We usually all meet up at my sisters house which is 90 min from us and 30 min from my parents. It's easier for them and my sister if we go there. I'm good with that. We're used to driving since we live in the middle of nowhere!
If my parents lived in our same town, I imagine they'd be over quite a bit.
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 22, 2019 18:28:10 GMT
No. We live in Seattle. My mom is in FL and claims it’s too cold to visit us. My husband’s mom is in Chicago and is afraid to fly.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
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Post by schizo319 on Jul 22, 2019 18:30:30 GMT
My mom lives a mile away. She'll stop by sometimes (uninvited and unannounced) when she's out and about. Usually it's fine, but sometimes we're in the middle of dinner or watching a movie or whatever and it's aggravating. I usually invite her to dinner 2-3x a month. I typically don't visit her because she never sits down long enough to visit, so I'm just following her around the house talking to her while she "putters".
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 22, 2019 18:33:29 GMT
Yes. My mom, when she was still alive, was a frequent visitor and my dad and my step-mom come by for events, parties, dinner before my kids are in shows etc.... They are two hours away so they don't just stop by.
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Post by wallyagain on Jul 22, 2019 18:56:33 GMT
Even when we only lived 45 minutes away, it was a big deal. Now we live 8 hours away and Dad is older, no, they never visit. My one sister is retired, again, no visiting, other sister works part time, rarely visits. They all live in the same city.
DH’s family rarely visits. His brothers are both retired and live at least 9 hours away.
DH works full time, I work 30 hours a week and we are expected to do all the travelling to visit. I am considering not going this fall, although I want to see my Dad.
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Post by tracyarts on Jul 22, 2019 19:05:59 GMT
My dad would. After he retired he would drive across town to visit me all the time while DH was at work. His sister lived near me, so he often stopped to visit her before or after visiting me.
Mom wouldn't. Because DH and I lived in an apartment and that was unacceptable to her. Even after dad died and DH and I moved into a house, she refused to come visit because we were renting, not paying on a mortgage. Seriously...my mom refused to set foot in our homes because we were renters, and in her mind that meant we were trashy.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 8:02:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2019 19:51:11 GMT
My parents live across the street. My dad will practically beg me to come over. Im happy to see them, but get annoyed because im always the one making the effort. Rarely do they visit my home, and usually its to ask for something. Ugh. My family is so dysfunctional! It has been 2-3 years. We live 2.5 hours apart. At best they might go to my sister's house which is about half way. But even that is becoming less frequent. OTOH, they are 78 and 80. I visit my dd once or twice a year and she visits me once a year. |
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Post by refugeepea on Jul 22, 2019 20:08:04 GMT
I have a big family, it's not frequent visits but my mom has a key to my house and she knows she can come into my home without knocking on the door. I love my in-laws but I might feel differently if they had lived close to us for the last 20 years.  |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,376
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Post by cycworker on Jul 22, 2019 20:15:02 GMT
My mom will come over, but not w/o warning. That is by design, though. We made an agreement ages ago... she HATES clutter/mess. If she doesn't warn me she's coming I can't tidy up. And she's not allowed to be critical of my 'mess.' Her word. She can't help herself, though. So it is just easier that way.
My mom & dad will drive up to see my brother & family.
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Post by KikiPea on Jul 22, 2019 20:16:17 GMT
They have in the past. They still can, but we’d have to crate one of our dogs till he got to know them better. They live about 35 min away.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 22, 2019 21:19:40 GMT
I'm sure they're here in spirit. (They're deceased.) When they were alive they would visit. My mother visited much more often than my dad, because he worked.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
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Post by ginacivey on Jul 22, 2019 21:56:53 GMT
i have two sons that are local
they spend much more time here than we do at their homes
we rarely go to my youngest house - he's 22 and lives alone with his dogs - he just isn't at the 'entertaining company' stage in his life
my oldest built a new home a couple of years ago - we go over there some friday evenings to have cocktails and hang out on their porch
my daughter lives in oklahoma - we go down at least every 6 weeks for a weekend - she comes up often as well
they'd all rather be here - more to do - and i cook for them
i wish that my son and his wife would make us dinner more often or that we'd find a reason to spend more time there -
i enjoy oklahoma because i don't feel like the host
i'm not sure if i exactly answered your question or not
i reread!! - my mother in law stops by here all the time - once we found her on the porch cos we hadn't gotten up yet! no biggie - i made coffee and joined her
my mom/stepdad live 7 hours away - they come down once a year or so - i go up occasionally
sometimes i ramble
gina
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Post by FrozenPea on Jul 22, 2019 22:01:09 GMT
no. But I live in Alaska and they live in NY. My mom hates flying. The last time she came to visit was when my son was born - 20 yrs ago. We always go visit them. sigh. It gets old making that our vacation most years. I did see them in Jan because dh had go to to Ottawa and I went with.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,333
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Jul 22, 2019 22:08:38 GMT
They do if we invite them or they're in neighborhood for a different reason. I go there more. My parents live in the country and I love to visit the farm. They're only 40 miles away. I like to help them with various things.
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Post by just PEAchy on Jul 22, 2019 22:27:09 GMT
We live 4.5 hours from family. My mom visits about 4-5 times a year. My dad passed away 5 years ago, but he never visited because he was in poor health. My MIL has visited once in the 5 years we’ve lived here. My brothers & sister live local to my mom & she goes to their homes several times a week.
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