rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,125
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
|
Post by rickmer on Sept 24, 2019 13:09:31 GMT
And yet here that is the standard. Ceremony in the early afternoon and dinner at 5-6ish. Usually when it is a church wedding. I’ve hardly ever not been to a wedding done this way. But with the current trend with our circle of family and friends moving away from church ceremonies the ceremony and reception are at the same site. Still a gap between ceremony and dinner though while the couple has photos done. But the bar is usually open and apps are circulating. this is exactly my experience... when church weddings were more popular, ceremony at church, bridal party and immediate family would go to park or photo venue and everyone would meet back at the reception hall for dinner. if you lived there you went home in between and maybe invited some of the out-of-town extended family or a group just headed over to a coffee shop or bar for a drink. it has become more and more common for the ceremony, photos and reception venue to be at one location, so now it's just a wee break for cocktails and appies while couple doing their photos.
|
|
rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,125
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
|
Post by rickmer on Sept 24, 2019 13:13:15 GMT
When I got married, there were some that didn't come to the actual wedding, just the cocktail hour and reception. That left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Don't know why. Kinda felt like they didn't want to be a part of such a huge moment in mine and DH's life, but totally willing to come drink and eat. this caught my eye - i remember one friend came from an irish family and married a guy from ireland. she explained you invite family and close friends to wedding and reception dinner and then you invite other friends as "afters". they come to the reception to dance and drink and celebrate, but you don't have to buy them dinner too. i had never heard of that before!
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on Sept 24, 2019 13:17:37 GMT
That time line seems pretty standard to me. Sometimes the time between the ceremony and dinner goes quickly, other times it drags on. Really depends on the people who are there as well as what entertainment the couple has during that time. The worst was my sister's wedding. I was so irritated. There was a long time between the ceremony and reception anyway, mainly so the wedding party could take a party bus bar hopping around town. Not only was there a long break in between (but IIRC, we were told to go straight to the reception) but they were much later returning than was planned. My husband and brothers were in the wedding, so myself and sister in-laws were left trying to entertain all of our kids on our own while we waited and waited and waited for food to be served. My sister-in-law and myself were also very pregnant so that didn't help.
My brother is getting married next month. I just looked at the invitation and it says "ceremony at 2:00, cocktails, dinner and dancing to follow". The wedding is at a Catholic church so will probably be about 45-60min. Reception is only about 10 min away. So there will likely be quite a wait until dinner. It's a tiny town so there is not really many places to go, especially with kids. We will see how it goes!
When I got married, I would have liked to have a late afternoon or early evening wedding so that there wouldn't have been that break. But the church only held weddings at 1:00 or 2:00. I assume that is still how it is since they have church service on Saturday night.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Sept 24, 2019 13:50:46 GMT
This is almost every wedding I've been to in the last 10 years. Usually the wedding is closer to noon and the reception is even later. What are you supposed to do for that amount of time? I had a five o'clock wedding and dinner was out by 7 o'clock. You had to drive about 20 minutes to get to the reception. We made sure that people weren't waiting for us taking pictures or whatever people do in that 2-4 hours.
|
|
|
Post by jennyap on Sept 24, 2019 13:57:50 GMT
I love how my niece did it when she got married - she did all of her photos a week or so before the wedding. She said it didn't matter to her if the groom saw her in her dress before the wedding and she didn't want to hold her guest up for the reception. So right after the ceremony, the reception started. What about photos with family and guests?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:25:14 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2019 14:14:52 GMT
Thanks for the replies. This is a friend’s child getting married and we won’t know many people attending. No opportunity to go back home between events which means we drive around or shop to kill time. There are over 200 guests attending the reception so I doubt we’d be missed at the ceremony, but we’ve always attended both events in the past. It just makes for a long day with the reception not ending until after 10:00.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:25:14 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2019 14:25:45 GMT
We were invited to a wedding this summer. The wedding was at 1 and the reception didn't start until 6. The GROOM's MOTHER encouraged us not to attend the ceremony and just go to the reception which was 15 minutes from our house. The wedding was an hour away in an unairconditioned church in August.
|
|
|
Post by disneypal on Sept 24, 2019 14:38:48 GMT
I love how my niece did it when she got married - she did all of her photos a week or so before the wedding. She said it didn't matter to her if the groom saw her in her dress before the wedding and she didn't want to hold her guest up for the reception. So right after the ceremony, the reception started. What about photos with family and guests? Photos with the family were taken with the wedding party (a couple of weeks before the wedding) The only photos with guest were taken during the reception and were not posed shots.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 24, 2019 14:40:47 GMT
When I got married, there were some that didn't come to the actual wedding, just the cocktail hour and reception. That left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Don't know why. Kinda felt like they didn't want to be a part of such a huge moment in mine and DH's life, but totally willing to come drink and eat. Honestly, I wouldn’t take it that personally. They brought a gift, right? LOL. With prep time to get dressed up, travel time, etc. a wedding ceremony and reception can eat up a huge chunk of a day/weekend for a guest, and are often held at times of the year when people are already really busy. I would totally understand if someone opted to skip the ceremony and just show up later for the reception or even vice versa (although it’s much easier to get other stuff done during the day which is why the ceremony would usually be the part skipped), and would just be happy they were able to attend any part of the celebration.
|
|
christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,135
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
|
Post by christinec68 on Sept 24, 2019 14:44:06 GMT
The timeline is fairly standard around here and I would go to both. My old roommate was obnoxious and picked a random date for her wedding and was only able to reserve the church for 1pm then had a 7pm reception because she had to have an evening wedding too. People were openly annoyed about it.
The only time I skipped the ceremony was for a work wedding on a Friday. The ceremony was at 3pm and not everyone could leave early for it. I wasn't as close as other people in the office, so I stayed. A few times I've attended church ceremonies for friends I was happy to see get married but wasn't close enough to be invited to the reception.
|
|
|
Post by littlemama on Sept 24, 2019 14:44:18 GMT
We would skip the ceremony in the case of a long break between. If the reception immediately followed, we would likely go to both
|
|
|
Post by bdawnb on Sept 24, 2019 14:48:37 GMT
And I almost never go to the reception. I love weddings but hate how long and drawn out receptions have become. I do always let the bride know that is what is happening so she is not paying for extra places t the reception.
|
|
|
Post by auntkelly on Sept 24, 2019 14:55:29 GMT
Personally, I'm glad that it is still the tradition around here to have the wedding and then the reception immediately after. I'm perfectly happy to spend a Saturday evening at a wedding and reception. I don't want to give up my whole day and evening for a non family wedding.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:25:14 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2019 15:00:16 GMT
When I got married, there were some that didn't come to the actual wedding, just the cocktail hour and reception. That left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. Don't know why. Kinda felt like they didn't want to be a part of such a huge moment in mine and DH's life, but totally willing to come drink and eat. this caught my eye - i remember one friend came from an irish family and married a guy from ireland. she explained you invite family and close friends to wedding and reception dinner and then you invite other friends as "afters". they come to the reception to dance and drink and celebrate, but you don't have to buy them dinner too. i had never heard of that before! When I went to my first English wedding, it was going on 12 hours from the ceremony and they STILL hadn't cut the cake. We finally left at midnight and they were still partying. It was way too much for this American who had no idea weddings last so long in the UK.
|
|
|
Post by roundtwo on Sept 24, 2019 15:09:38 GMT
I'm Canadian, smaller town, and this is what we did too. We had an open bar so no one was paying anything (except us). I went as an "after" a few times as well - we never used that term though; it was just an invitation to join the party. Sometimes it was an open bar, sometimes not, but it was always fun!!
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,443
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on Sept 24, 2019 16:43:26 GMT
Thanks for the replies. This is a friend’s child getting married and we won’t know many people attending. No opportunity to go back home between events which means we drive around or shop to kill time. There are over 200 guests attending the reception so I doubt we’d be missed at the ceremony, but we’ve always attended both events in the past. It just makes for a long day with the reception not ending until after 10:00. Ending at 10? We go until 1, 2, 3am or more. Get our money's worth, make dressing up count. Ceremony at 2ish, hall opens at 5, supper at 6. Party starts to thin out around midnight, one.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:25:14 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2019 17:01:21 GMT
Ending at 10? We go until 1, 2, 3am or more. I wouldn't be able to stay awake that late.
|
|
julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
|
Post by julieb on Sept 24, 2019 17:05:35 GMT
I would be SO ANNOYED with an invite like this. Ridiculous. Reception should be immediately following wedding. It is the obligation of the hosts to feed and entertain the guests while the wedding party is doing photos and whatever else needs to be done. If it is church wedding, it may be the only time they could get. Churches don't allow wedding masses to go to far into the afternoon because there is a regular mass late afternoon. The reason for the invite is to witness the marriage and celebrate. We always go to both and if there is a time lapse, we will go with other guests to a bar for an hour or two. To think there is more of an obligation then to have you at a reception is ridiculous. Have you ever had a child get married?
|
|
likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
|
Post by likescarrots on Sept 24, 2019 17:12:35 GMT
And I almost never go to the reception. I love weddings but hate how long and drawn out receptions have become. I do always let the bride know that is what is happening so she is not paying for extra places t the reception.
this is so weird. Everyone I know looks forward to the reception, no one cares about the ceremony, especially if it's in a church. If it's not in a church is usually very brief and then right on to the reception.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Sept 24, 2019 17:17:42 GMT
Thanks for the replies. This is a friend’s child getting married and we won’t know many people attending. No opportunity to go back home between events which means we drive around or shop to kill time. There are over 200 guests attending the reception so I doubt we’d be missed at the ceremony, but we’ve always attended both events in the past. It just makes for a long day with the reception not ending until after 10:00. Ending at 10? We go until 1, 2, 3am or more. Get our money's worth, make dressing up count. Ceremony at 2ish, hall opens at 5, supper at 6. Party starts to thin out around midnight, one. That sounds like absolute torture to me.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Sept 24, 2019 17:41:58 GMT
I would be SO ANNOYED with an invite like this. Ridiculous. Reception should be immediately following wedding. It is the obligation of the hosts to feed and entertain the guests while the wedding party is doing photos and whatever else needs to be done. If it is church wedding, it may be the only time they could get. Churches don't allow wedding masses to go to far into the afternoon because there is a regular mass late afternoon. The reason for the invite is to witness the marriage and celebrate. We always go to both and if there is a time lapse, we will go with other guests to a bar for an hour or two. To think there is more of an obligation then to have you at a reception is ridiculous. Have you ever had a child get married? I’ve had a child get married. I’ve had lots of friends’ and relatives’ kids get married, too. All over California, plus in Connecticut, Texas, and Georgia. Every single one of them either had the reception immediately following in the same location, or immediately following in a nearby location. The reception got going while photos were being taken of the wedding party.
|
|
|
Post by bdawnb on Sept 24, 2019 19:33:57 GMT
And I almost never go to the reception. I love weddings but hate how long and drawn out receptions have become. I do always let the bride know that is what is happening so she is not paying for extra places t the reception.
this is so weird. Everyone I know looks forward to the reception, no one cares about the ceremony, especially if it's in a church. If it's not in a church is usually very brief and then right on to the reception.
|
|
|
Post by bdawnb on Sept 24, 2019 19:37:43 GMT
this is so weird. Everyone I know looks forward to the reception, no one cares about the ceremony, especially if it's in a church. If it's not in a church is usually very brief and then right on to the reception. That’s okay 😊. I think skipping the ceremony is weird. That’s the best part to me, what the whole thing is about. I love the decorations and the dress and the vows and the look on the groom’s face, the kiss, how happy they are when they come down the aisle. It’s magic.
|
|
|
Post by colleen on Sept 24, 2019 20:26:18 GMT
My family are Minnesota dairy farmers and 30 or so years ago that large gap between ceremony/cake reception at the church and the "dance" at a hall later was common. My mom said it was so they could go back to the farm to milk and/or do chores. I was young and thought it was fun to change from church clothes to party clothes!
|
|
MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
|
Post by MorningPerson on Sept 24, 2019 20:29:08 GMT
That’s okay 😊. I think skipping the ceremony is weird. That’s the best part to me, what the whole thing is about. I love the decorations and the dress and the vows and the look on the groom’s face, the kiss, how happy they are when they come down the aisle. It’s magic. This has become my favorite part of any wedding.
|
|
|
Post by katiejane on Sept 24, 2019 20:35:10 GMT
Sounds like pretty standard timing. If you are invited to both it isn't generally an either/or scenario.
|
|
|
Post by warrior1991 on Sept 24, 2019 21:02:21 GMT
My cousin's wedding was at around 1pm and dinner was around 6. Wedding was 10 minutes long. Seriously. 10 minutes. There was some visiting after the ceremony, then the wedding party left for pictures. All 4 of them. Bride, groom, best man, and maid of honor. They got married in Marquette Michigan which is BEAUTIFUL so they got great pictures. But then so did we. We went back to the hotel, let my little nephew get a much needed nap, then we went exploring and got some great pictures ourselves. We have a great time between the ceremony and the reception which worked out for us as we were leaving for home the next day and that was our only time to look around town. But I can see how it wouldn't work for everyone.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Sept 24, 2019 21:12:14 GMT
If there is too much time between them, I attend either one or the other.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,183
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Sept 25, 2019 0:33:52 GMT
I just had this situation on Saturday. Wedding was at 1:30 and reception started at 5, in a different town. I was also committed to an all-day crop, a fundraiser for childhood cancer for which I am part of the "team" organizing it. Add in the fact that this was going to be an emotional thing for me to attend without my husband who died in January, because it’s through him that I know the bride's family.
I helped set up for the crop on Friday evening, was there early in the morning and left before lunch to go home and change. I went to the wedding, talked to everyone I needed to either before or after the ceremony (which ended about 2:20), and then left to go back home and change again and go back for the rest of the crop and the cleanup after.
It worked out okay, because the reception would have been even more difficult for me to attend alone. It was hard enough to do the wedding. And I had a decent reason for only going to the ceremony, because of the fundraiser. So sometimes attending one or the other is what works out best.
|
|
julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
|
Post by julieb on Sept 25, 2019 0:48:41 GMT
If it is church wedding, it may be the only time they could get. Churches don't allow wedding masses to go to far into the afternoon because there is a regular mass late afternoon. The reason for the invite is to witness the marriage and celebrate. We always go to both and if there is a time lapse, we will go with other guests to a bar for an hour or two. To think there is more of an obligation then to have you at a reception is ridiculous. Have you ever had a child get married? I’ve had a child get married. I’ve had lots of friends’ and relatives’ kids get married, too. All over California, plus in Connecticut, Texas, and Georgia. Every single one of them either had the reception immediately following in the same location, or immediately following in a nearby location. The reception got going while photos were being taken of the wedding party. You've lucked out, because this isn't how it always happens. With more couples getting married often at the venues, etc. I see it happening, but that is hard to coordinate when the ceremony and reception are at different locations. My dd got married/reception at the same location and my son will get married next year at the same location as the reception, but I never expect that to be the case, nor would I expect the bride/groom to arrange for me to be entertained if there was time in between. My dd and sil did all their pictures before the ceremony with a "first look", it worked great because they could be with their guests immediately after the ceremony, not taking pictures.
|
|