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Post by chlerbie on Dec 12, 2019 4:55:40 GMT
I'm a hugger and most of my friends are as well. I did grow up in a very affectionate family and DH and I are also very affectionate. It's just natural to me to hug.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,955
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Dec 12, 2019 5:02:53 GMT
I hug family and friends but we arenāt big kissers. The only time I can remember someone doing the cheek kiss was a friend of DH's. Honestly it took me by surprise and creeped me out a little. I donāt know him very well and I wasnāt expecting it. I am pretty free with saying I love you. DH used to say it to his dad at the end of every phone call. FIL would never say it back. He would just say, "okay." Made DH crazy. One day I was talking to his dad and at the end of the call, I told him that I loved him and he said, "Love you too, babe." DH was so pissed that he would say it to me but not to him.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Dec 12, 2019 5:03:03 GMT
No never...idk anyone who does that either. I was born and raised in the South and never experienced it. I did notice while watching the Real Housewives of whatever that they always do that and always bring over a gift to someoneās house when just coming over for a simple visit...so weird!
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Post by LiLi on Dec 12, 2019 5:04:49 GMT
No never...idk anyone who does that either. I was born and raised in the South and never experienced it. I did notice while watching the Real Housewives of whatever that they always do that and always bring over a gift to someoneās house when just coming over for a simple visit...so weird!Ā Not weird, just different. š
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Post by ~summer~ on Dec 12, 2019 5:12:27 GMT
We do hugs. At least my family and my friends. My husbands family however are not huggers.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Dec 12, 2019 5:21:33 GMT
No. I didn't grow up in an affectionate family and am extremely uncomfortable with touch. Part of it from my upbringing and part of it from just my preference. My in-laws have turned into very huggy people. They weren't always but have become more so. I tend to spend my time with them being very aware of where everyone is so I can be sure to avoid unwanted touch. DH has spoken with them. Some completely respect my boundaries and some completely ignore my boundaries. It's exhausting. Luckily I see the ones who are the worst less than once a year. MIL and FIL I think have finally caught on.
I am affectionate with my kids, but not nearly as much as what is probably considered normal. I have a very large personal bubble that very few people have unlimited access into.
Living in Europe was a huge culture shock to me when people I had never met before greeted me with a kiss on each cheek.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Dec 12, 2019 5:32:59 GMT
We were physically affectionate in our home growing up, and with our girls now. With that said, I'm not a hugger and its awkward for me with anyone else, whether they're in-laws, extended family, or friends. Hugging I can tolerate, but kissing-- no.
My girls and their friends all hug each other. Maybe it's generational in this way. My friends and I back in the 80s never did this.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 12, 2019 6:28:37 GMT
Hugs for everyone, even people I just have met. There is a lot of hugging going on in my circle of friends and neighbors. Family too.
When I first married into the family, my in-laws were not huggers, but I hugged anyway. My FIL loved it and you could tell by the light in his eyes and the way he stood up and came to my when we would arrive. It made me feel so welcome, even though I was the one to start the hugging tradition. Many of the in-laws do the hugging stuff now and I think it is because they have got older and lost so many of their family.
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Post by auntkelly on Dec 12, 2019 7:09:52 GMT
I'm a hugger and almost all of my friends and family are as well.
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Post by gar on Dec 12, 2019 7:33:23 GMT
With family and close friends it's mostly a kind of combined hug/shoulder sneeze and cheek to cheek touch/kiss. Proper full-on hugs are generally with people I see less often and I'm close to. A cheek to cheek 'kiss' is also in the mix but I'm struggling to define who/when that happens without the hug element
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Post by gillyp on Dec 12, 2019 8:14:22 GMT
With friends we all do a hug with air cheek kiss. Any friends of ours from Europe do a double cheek kiss. Pretty much this except for some European cousins who do three kisses. One cheek then the other then back to the first.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 12, 2019 8:31:22 GMT
I don't.
It's so, so far outside my comfort zone.
Sometimes I'll cover my mouth and say, "I've got germs," and follow it with a smile, and a little shrug, like a nonverbal "sorry."
I didn't grow up super huggie, and I'm not comfortable with people in my space.
I make allowances for my kids.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 12, 2019 8:48:55 GMT
My dad always needs a full body hug these days - not the man I grew up with. I spent a year in France so became pretty comfortable with the cheek kissing. Everything else varies depending on what I know they like or want. I can hug or faire la bise or give a wave from a comfortable distance as needed.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 12, 2019 8:56:34 GMT
Not usually and I never instigate, but I do know some huggers and I allow/return the hugs Same for me
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Post by ametallichick on Dec 12, 2019 9:07:33 GMT
Iām typically a hugger. But when I see my sisters, I kiss them. My grandpa was very affectionate and I like showing affection. I went to a white elephant party the other night and my cousinās daughters dhās mother gave me a hug hello (I have seen and talked to her several times at family get togethers) and she kissed me on the mouth. I was surprised by it but weirdly, it didnāt bother me. Sheās Mexican and I think theyāre just very affectionate people. I used to be friends with two people originally from Colombia and they were the same way.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 19:23:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2019 9:16:02 GMT
I hug my friends when I see them, I didn't used to be comfortable with it but it's grown on me. We don't kiss. My husband counts as family right? He gets the full works
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Dec 12, 2019 9:29:01 GMT
I don't care to hug. I don't mind dd, nieces, nephews and parents, but can do without anyone else. I do it out of expectation, like tipping.š of course dd doesn't show affection towards me but hoping it's the age (16). My dh is emotionally needy, imo. He requires lots of hugs and long ones. He always approaches me when I'm in the middle of something. I swear he's the female of us two.š¤£ my girlfriends know I don't like to hug but insist on hugging me anyways.š
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 12, 2019 11:10:12 GMT
I have always hugged my family. And I hug my friends. And I hug new friends. DH family doesn't hug. So I don't hug them. And I don't hug at work. Because I don't want to cross lines. But otherwise, if you see me, watch out, I'm going to hug you!
My sis and I will often hold our embrace and whisper sweet things in each other's ears too. Because we are weird.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 12, 2019 12:09:59 GMT
In my family, my generation and younger, we hug, but no kiss. My parentās generation donāt hug. My friends and I hug, and a couple friends do give kisses on the cheek. I donāt initiate the kisses. I def think my kids generation are the huggiest ive ever seen. They all hug each other hello and goodbye every time. I didnāt grow up with lots of hugs but Iāve softened up because my closest female friends all hug.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 12, 2019 12:10:13 GMT
I can think of examples for all the hugging/kissing combo possibilities. I suppose that's because it seems to be tailored to the person I'm engaging with. Some of them are huggers and/or kissers and some are not. So my response to them varies based on that.
In general, I'm perfectly willing to hug. It's a nice 'warm fuzzy' shared with people who are important to me.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Dec 12, 2019 12:23:05 GMT
Be thankful for the smacky cheek kissers: my husband's family are LIP KISSERS (Sicilians - god love them)! When I met them I was like "WTF?" and they were making fun of one of their aunts (Irish, of course, lol) for only kissing on the cheek! I said: "Um, you people? Keep your lips on my cheek, PLEASE."
My family? Huggers and cheek to cheek smoochers. That's it. And if you don't want a hug? Just tell us - we're not offended. Dh's family? They're the "get over here anyway" types.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
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Post by schizo319 on Dec 12, 2019 12:44:11 GMT
My friends and I will hug, not necessarily EVERY time we see each other (especially if it's often). There are only a few very close friends/family with whom I do the cheek kiss, and even then it's usually more of a smooshing our cheeks together and air kissing. I grew up with very affectionate parents and lip kisses were common between myself and my mom and dad (no one else in the family got kissed on the lips though).
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 19:23:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2019 13:08:43 GMT
We do not greet with hugs/kisses (Oklahoma) but my family hugs goodbyes. I kiss my mom and dad on the cheek then too. Can't think of anyone else I hug.
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Post by Linda on Dec 12, 2019 13:18:56 GMT
I hug my DH and kids. I don't instigate hugs otherwise but I live in the South - everyone hugs it seems. There are a couple of men in our wider circle who do the cheek kisses - it always takes me off guard but doesn't bother me beyond being out of my personal comfort zone. One is a Palestinian co-worker of DH, the other is an older gentleman at church.
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Post by disneypal on Dec 12, 2019 13:24:16 GMT
Greet with hugs - pretty much 100% of the time. That is just what you do when you are a Georgia native
Kiss on the cheek - I don't greet friends this way but I have one male friend that greets me this way and I am okay with it
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Post by Fidget on Dec 12, 2019 13:24:58 GMT
With immediate family, my kids, their spouses and my grandkids, cheek kisses and a hug. Friends and extended family we greet with hugs. I do have one friend who is "not a hugger' so it's a smile and "good to see you".
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Dec 12, 2019 13:41:19 GMT
Generally, no. My husband is from New York and his mom and all of her friends give hugs and kisses on the cheek. It was really strange to me the first time we visited. My grandma always gives kisses on the lips when we end our visit. Itās strange but just how she is lol. I think In the Midwest it is more common to give hugs when you leave than when you arrive. But typically only with family.
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Post by cmpeter on Dec 12, 2019 13:45:23 GMT
Huggers here (Seattle area). No kissing. I remember being surprised when I first went on a work trip to NYC. Most of my co-workers were huggers. I now travel to Atlanta a lot for work, there is less hugging at this office.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Dec 12, 2019 13:50:43 GMT
My family, yes. It is customary for Persians.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,816
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Dec 12, 2019 13:59:12 GMT
Yes, we hug and kiss with all our close friends. Everyone else might get a side hug. I'm not overly affectionate, but i've gotten use to the kissy greeting and I'm from the South!
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