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Post by smalltowngirlie on Dec 27, 2019 15:29:49 GMT
I want to preface this by saying I am a Christian, I do support mission work, but this has crossed a line for me.
Soon after DS graduated I received a letter from the school asking for updated information for DS because they wanted to follow up with the recent graduates. We had recently moved so I did not think anything of it. A few months later we get a letter from the former principle (the one when DS was in school). He had resigned from his school position and was now a full time missionary. You can see where this is going. He knew we were active in our church, and the letter talks about his mission work and how we can financially support him. Now, the only way he could have our address was by getting it from the school. I really question the ethics of this.
So, we get 2 maybe 3 letters a year and they quickly end up on the trash. I have never and will never support him and his family, not because I don't believe in their mission, but rather their method of getting my information.
Today I get an email from him asking for support. I have never emailed him personally, maybe through the school he worked at 3 years ago, but never personally. Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point.
I have to seriously think about how I want to respond to his new method of contact. My initial response would totally go against my ethics, so I need to step back and think about it.
He is the type of Christian I like to avoid. Man I feel bad for even saying that, but it is the truth.
ETA- yesterday I got a text from him saying I still have time to give a donation. I instantly replied to remove me from ALL contact lists.
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Post by beepdave on Dec 27, 2019 15:35:19 GMT
I would most definitely be direct and ask him to remove you from his list as you were never asked to receive information and you find it inappropriate use of information he had access to while at the school.
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Post by SockMonkey on Dec 27, 2019 15:37:00 GMT
I want to preface this by saying I am a Christian, I do support mission work, but this has crossed a line for me. Soon after DS graduated I received a letter from the school asking for updated information for DS because they wanted to follow up with the recent graduates. We had recently moved so I did not think anything of it. A few months later we get a letter from the former principle (the one when DS was in school). He had resigned from his school position and was now a full time missionary. You can see where this is going. He knew we were active in our church, and the letter talks about his mission work and how we can financially support him. Now, the only way he could have our address was by getting it from the school. I really question the ethics of this. So, we get 2 maybe 3 letters a year and they quickly end up on the trash. I have never and will never support him and his family, not because I don't believe in their mission, but rather their method of getting my information. Today I get an email from him asking for support. I have never emailed him personally, maybe through the school he worked at 3 years ago, but never personally. Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point. I have to seriously think about how I want to respond to his new method of contact. My initial response would totally go against my ethics, so I need to step back and think about it. He is the type of Christian I like to avoid. Man I feel bad for even saying that, but it is the truth. Clearly he's unethical, but often people like this justify their bad behavior because it's "in service to the Lord." For real. I'd respond with a very pointed, "We are uninterested in supporting this. Please remove us from all your mail, email, and phone lists. Best, smalltowngirlie." |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2019 15:47:29 GMT
Dear ....
Thank you reaching out and letting us know about your mission work.
My family makes our contributions to God's work through our local. Church.
I ask that you please remove my contact information, all forms...email, phone and mail from your contact list.
We wish you and your family the best.
Then I'd block his email and phone number and any mail that comes return to sender.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 27, 2019 15:51:20 GMT
Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point. In fairness, he could have gotten your email through any mutual acquaintances at the school. I've had family and friends pass on my email at the request of someone gathering a group email list. It's irritating to lose control of who has my email, but it is also really easy for me to hit delete without opening them. |
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Post by elaine on Dec 27, 2019 15:57:56 GMT
Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point. In fairness, he could have gotten your email through any mutual acquaintances at the school. I've had family and friends pass on my email at the request of someone gathering a group email list. It's irritating to lose control of who has my email, but it is also really easy for me to hit delete without opening them. It is also very easy to find people’s emails on the internet. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 27, 2019 15:59:39 GMT
I'd copy n paste what @leowife wrote... then block him... dont feel bad for saying he is the kind of "Christian" man you avoid... we all do!!! I get it
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Post by elaine on Dec 27, 2019 16:05:01 GMT
I want to preface this by saying I am a Christian, I do support mission work, but this has crossed a line for me. Soon after DS graduated I received a letter from the school asking for updated information for DS because they wanted to follow up with the recent graduates. We had recently moved so I did not think anything of it. A few months later we get a letter from the former principle (the one when DS was in school). He had resigned from his school position and was now a full time missionary. You can see where this is going. He knew we were active in our church, and the letter talks about his mission work and how we can financially support him. Now, the only way he could have our address was by getting it from the school. I really question the ethics of this. So, we get 2 maybe 3 letters a year and they quickly end up on the trash. I have never and will never support him and his family, not because I don't believe in their mission, but rather their method of getting my information. Today I get an email from him asking for support. I have never emailed him personally, maybe through the school he worked at 3 years ago, but never personally. Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point. I have to seriously think about how I want to respond to his new method of contact. My initial response would totally go against my ethics, so I need to step back and think about it. He is the type of Christian I like to avoid. Man I feel bad for even saying that, but it is the truth. Clearly he's unethical, but often people like this justify their bad behavior because it's "in service to the Lord." For real. I'd respond with a very pointed, "We are uninterested in supporting this. Please remove us from all your mail, email, and phone lists. Best, smalltowngirlie." Yes, this. Honestly, he is fundraising. And you are 1 of hundreds of people he is contacting regularly. You are part of huge mailing and emailing lists that he sends things regularly to. While it feels personal to you, and bothers you personally, I doubt that he thinks about you at all, beyond the first thought to include you on the mailing list however long ago. And then he, or his admin assistant, was tasked with finding emails for everyone on the mailing list. The same communications go out to everyone on those lists - it is automated. Simply ask to be removed from the lists. He doesn’t know, nor think about, that it bothers you. I’d be bothered too, but I’d ask to removed from the list. |
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,456
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Dec 27, 2019 16:09:03 GMT
Reply -
Dear former Principal, Please remove our family's name, address, email, and phone number from your contact list and database. Thank you, Smalltowngirlie
You do not need to give a reason. If the mail continues, return to sender. If the email continues, send to spam folder and block.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,254 
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Dec 27, 2019 16:10:04 GMT
Just tell him you want to be removed from his contact lists in all forms.
Keep it businesslike, and don't worry about being overly polite or wording it in a personal way.
Make it clear and simple so there is no doubt about your intent.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Dec 27, 2019 16:22:00 GMT
Be direct. Tell him to stop plaguing you, and let the School know that they have crossed a line by passing on your contact details to a third party without your permisssion.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2019 16:24:20 GMT
I’ve had parents from our school do this with the contact information in the directory and unfortunately most addresses are just a google search away. Due to the timing though, how this person got your contact info is definitely suspicious. Not much you can do about this guy, but I would contact the school after the holidays just to ensure that your contact info is always kept confidential.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,798
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Post by Rhondito on Dec 27, 2019 17:57:23 GMT
That would rub me the wrong way too.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,649
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Post by basketdiva on Dec 27, 2019 18:06:15 GMT
So you've been correspondence for quite awhile from the man and done nothing to stop it. Now you might get livid?
Instead of maybe getting livid, just mark all emails as spam or block him. Tear up the mail or write asking to be removed from his mailing lists.
And like others have said, contact the school to be sure the school has not given him permission to harvest home addresses and e-mails.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,799
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Dec 27, 2019 19:32:32 GMT
...Now, the only way he could have our address was by getting it from the school...I have never and will never support him and his family, not because I don't believe in their mission, but rather their method of getting my information... ...Today I get an email from him asking for support. I have never emailed him personally, maybe through the school he worked at 3 years ago, but never personally. Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point... ...He is the type of Christian I like to avoid... FWIW your premise for being "livid soon" is false. The school's records is not "the only way" to get your information. The principal-turned-missionary could have easily obtained your contact information online, from a mutual friend, organizations (e.g. local school system, churches, retailers, faith-based charities) sharing or selling their distribution lists, etc. Further, it's unreasonable that he'd wait 3 years to use an email address unethically obtained at his previous job for fundraising. Perhaps you've made incorrect assumptions & misjudged him & his "type of Christian." Consider simply hitting unsubscribe, if an option, or reply to the email requesting removal from all distribution lists/future correspondence. |
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,020
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 27, 2019 19:55:29 GMT
I would reply to the e-mail with a quick "I am not interested in being included in your e-mail list. Please remove me."
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 27, 2019 21:18:47 GMT
My issue would be more with the school who passed the info along in the first place. Because you moved before they asked for the updated information, someone at the school would have had to pass it along to former principal. I would reply to his email telling him to remove me from all methods of fundraising and contact going forward, and then contact the school and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT to share your contact information with anyone without your express consent.
FWIW, at my kid’s school they won’t share a family’s contact information with anybody without permission. If we want to get in touch with another family for whatever reason and they aren’t in the directory, we have to give the teacher a note with our information to send home with the other kid and leave it up to that kid’s parents to get in touch with us.
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Post by smokeynspike on Dec 27, 2019 21:18:48 GMT
I would think he did not get your info from the school. All of your information can be found online and is sold frequently between companies you do, and don't, complete business with. There are entire companies whose sole purpose in existing is data mining and selling your information on distribution lists.
I always assume that none of my information is sacred since I have chosen to have a digital presence on the internet and do business with companies in real life.
I really don't feel like it is even possible to control your personal data anymore. Block your credit, sure. But that's it.
I would just shoot him an email asking to be removed. And then block him or delete further contact.
Melissa
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 17:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2019 21:39:18 GMT
My issue would be more with the school who passed the info along in the first place. Because you moved before they asked for the updated information, someone at the school would have had to pass it along to former principal. I would reply to his email telling him to remove me from all methods of fundraising and contact going forward, and then contact the school and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT to share your contact information with anyone without your express consent. FWIW, at my kid’s school they won’t share a family’s contact information with anybody without permission. If we want to get in touch with another family for whatever reason and they aren’t in the directory, we have to give the teacher a note with our information to send home with the other kid and leave it up to that kid’s parents to get in touch with us. When you move, and give the post office a forwarding address,after the forward expires they often return you mail to the sender with the new address stamped on it. It may be the post office informed him of her change of address. There are also online places you can get people's address like Spokeo and one that starts with a V but I can't recall it right now. It doesn't have to have been the school that gave out information. Even if they did it doesn't violated federal privacy regulations for schools. A specific school may have a policy to not share parental information. Others do not have such a policy in place; others will sell parental address lists. Churches also sell address lists sometimes. |
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Post by beepdave on Dec 27, 2019 21:46:32 GMT
Maybe I misread it, but I was reading it that he was still at the school when she sent the change of address information and he resigned after that and had access to her updated information before he left, perhaps taking it with him. THAT is what I would have issue with. If he found the information online or some other public way, I wouldn't be livid and I'd just ask to be removed.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Dec 27, 2019 22:24:01 GMT
Maybe I misread it, but I was reading it that he was still at the school when she sent the change of address information and he resigned after that and had access to her updated information before he left, perhaps taking it with him. THAT is what I would have issue with. If he found the information online or some other public way, I wouldn't be livid and I'd just ask to be removed. This is what I suspect because we moved quickly and very soon after we moved he reached out to me asking for updated information, saying they, the school wanted to follow up with recent grads. BTW, DS has never received any mail from the school since he graduated. I also understand my information is out there, but this just does not feel completely ethical to me. Confidentiality is a big issue where I work and it is something I take with me into my personal life. I don't even share information between family members unless I have permission. Call me strange that way, but it is what I know. |
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 27, 2019 22:58:22 GMT
This had to be from the school.
While data miners can and will sell your email and other info, it is the relationships that makes this valuable to him. You know of him and know his background a little and are known to be a Christian. Thus he feels you might contribute to his cause. I used to purchase information and use the phone book a lot for cold calling when I was in sales. But, I never knew if the household I was calling or mailing to had people living there who could have been potential customers. To dig that kind of info out would be a major time eater and not budget friendly when you are paying someone to do the job for you.
The school should have a privacy policy that is available for you to read. I would see if I could obtain a copy of that and see what it says. If it says it values your privacy and would never sell your information, then you have a beef to pick with the school.
Another thing - Emails of this type are required to have an unsubscribe link somewhere in the email. Usually is it at the bottom of the letter. If it does not, he is in violation of some sort of law, not sure what law, but you could look it up.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,077
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Post by samantha25 on Dec 28, 2019 0:22:48 GMT
He's trying to build his flock.. just reply with no thank you. Doesn't seem like it's much difference from credit cards, mortgage companies, cable, radio, computer companies, etc. soliciting. Everyone can get your info.
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Post by jemmls4 on Dec 28, 2019 1:07:38 GMT
I’ve had parents from our school do this with the contact information in the directory and unfortunately most addresses are just a google search away. Due to the timing though, how this person got your contact info is definitely suspicious. Not much you can do about this guy, but I would contact the school after the holidays just to ensure that your contact info is always kept confidential. This. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 28, 2019 1:10:38 GMT
My issue would be more with the school who passed the info along in the first place. Because you moved before they asked for the updated information, someone at the school would have had to pass it along to former principal. I would reply to his email telling him to remove me from all methods of fundraising and contact going forward, and then contact the school and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT to share your contact information with anyone without your express consent. FWIW, at my kid’s school they won’t share a family’s contact information with anybody without permission. If we want to get in touch with another family for whatever reason and they aren’t in the directory, we have to give the teacher a note with our information to send home with the other kid and leave it up to that kid’s parents to get in touch with us. When you move, and give the post office a forwarding address,after the forward expires they often return you mail to the sender with the new address stamped on it. It may be the post office informed him of her change of address. There are also online places you can get people's address like Spokeo and one that starts with a V but I can't recall it right now. It doesn't have to have been the school that gave out information. Even if they did it doesn't violated federal privacy regulations for schools. A specific school may have a policy to not share parental information. Others do not have such a policy in place; others will sell parental address lists. Churches also sell address lists sometimes. You don’t find it the tiniest bit coincidental that this guy who previously worked at the school conveniently had not only their new mailing address but their email address too and didn’t get it from someone at the school? The post office doesn’t give you that. Even the OP believes it was the school that gave him the info. I would take issue with the deceptive way they went about getting it, under the guise of “keeping up with the graduates” as she noted. I don’t doubt that some schools sell their student lists and information, but if that happened to me I would be very, very angry especially if I was paying to send my kid to that school. Reason #5,984 why I will never send my kid to a private school. I send out thank you notes to every one of my DH’s clients after he does work for them and sometimes those notes come back as unable to forward. Sometimes it has the new address printed on the sticker and we can update our mailing list but sometimes it doesn’t and I end up taking them off our customer list. There are no guarantees that we’ll get current updated information that way. |
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jan 1, 2020 17:12:51 GMT
Updated with more info.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
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Post by mlana on Jan 1, 2020 19:03:03 GMT
I want to preface this by saying I am a Christian, I do support mission work, but this has crossed a line for me. Soon after DS graduated I received a letter from the school asking for updated information for DS because they wanted to follow up with the recent graduates. We had recently moved so I did not think anything of it. A few months later we get a letter from the former principle (the one when DS was in school). He had resigned from his school position and was now a full time missionary. You can see where this is going. He knew we were active in our church, and the letter talks about his mission work and how we can financially support him. Now, the only way he could have our address was by getting it from the school. I really question the ethics of this. So, we get 2 maybe 3 letters a year and they quickly end up on the trash. I have never and will never support him and his family, not because I don't believe in their mission, but rather their method of getting my information. Today I get an email from him asking for support. I have never emailed him personally, maybe through the school he worked at 3 years ago, but never personally. Again, the only way he could have gotten my personal email was through his contacts at school, and I am guessing he saved them at some point. I have to seriously think about how I want to respond to his new method of contact. My initial response would totally go against my ethics, so I need to step back and think about it. He is the type of Christian I like to avoid. Man I feel bad for even saying that, but it is the truth. ETA- yesterday I got a text from him saying I still have time to give a donation. I instantly replied to remove me from ALL contact lists. This is how I felt when Penzey’s owner decided to use the email I provided to them for business purposes to send me an email containing a personal rant about Trump. The fact that I agreed with the rant was irrelevant - they had no business using an address provided to their company to send me a non-business email. I unsubscribed immediately. I understand where you are coming from and I would have also asked them to remove my email. Marcy |
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Post by snugglebutter on Jan 1, 2020 19:28:35 GMT
Three methods of unsolicited contact is completely unacceptable. How frustrating!
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Post by alexa11 on Jan 1, 2020 21:51:47 GMT
Good for you! I can't stand pushy people- don't care what the agenda is.
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Post by MalleyCat on Jan 2, 2020 0:34:52 GMT
That’s pretty rude of him to do! Yeah, I would have lost it when I then got a text from him!
Something similar happened within our Neighborhood Board. President had everyone’s contact info including email addresses, for Neighborhood business only. When he stepped down from president and let group, he wouldn’t pass on the contact list to the board. Then he went on to use the contact list for his personal use. (Like promoting his insurance business) Totally rubbed me the wrong way!😡
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