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Post by kluski on Jan 11, 2020 2:11:09 GMT
Are going to be the death of me! Just bc she’s 18 doesn’t mean she knows how to handle a potentially serious health condition. She heard the doctor say, ‘she’s 18 so we have to call her now’ and now she thinks bc we gave her a list of questions to ask when the dr calls, that we don’t trust her to handle it. For the love of all things holy!
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Post by angieh1996 on Jan 11, 2020 2:21:20 GMT
I was so afraid of that when mine became “adults” so I strongly advised both of my kids sign releases that the Dr can discuss their medical stuff with me or their dad. They are 22 and 20 and are thankfully happy to have me along if they are having an issue. So far other than preventative care they haven’t had many issues.
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Post by LiLi on Jan 11, 2020 2:22:36 GMT
My son broke his clavicle at 19. He wanted me to deal with doctors in the emergency room. All it took was him telling them that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 19:22:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2020 2:24:10 GMT
Same here.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 11, 2020 2:24:31 GMT
My 18 year is still pretty timid about it all, so I often stand next to him without talking just to be supportive. I don't interfere unless he asks
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Jan 11, 2020 2:27:25 GMT
It’s really frustrating when they’re 16 and you have to discuss a billing matter. I can only call while I’m at work and they ask to talk to her and can’t understand that she’s at school. There’s no way she could navigate insurance billing in her own because this was an especially complicated situation. I kept arguing that I didn’t want to discuss her medical records, just the billing which I was responsible for. Ugh.
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Post by bearmom on Jan 11, 2020 2:40:57 GMT
Yep. I have asked dd if I could still go to appointments with her surgeon regarding her scoliosis. She is 20 now and going to her yearly appointment by herself - still very nerve racking for dh and I. Her eating disorder, she has handled herself (our saving grace here was we were paying for college and her going to appointments was a condition).
I do still do all her insurance issues, but she has to give me access and permission.....
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,015 
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Post by Sarah*H on Jan 11, 2020 3:45:30 GMT
Oh! I have a fun one. My daughter had a telemedicine appointment scheduled yesterday, the very first appointment of its type that anyone in my family has scheduled. Our provider requires that it be conducted through the provider's app. Because my daughter is under 18, she can't have her own account, she has to log in under my account and then toggle to her tab. Because my daughter is over the age of 12, I may not access the "appointment" section of her account using my app. Because she is under 18, she can't legally sign a proxy without my consent. So the way this will ultimately be resolved is that they are mailing us a new proxy which she must sign in my presence and then I must sign giving my permission to her to give me a proxy which will then give me permission to allow either of us to have full access to her account using my account.
We rescheduled the telemedicine appointment.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 11, 2020 4:05:02 GMT
We were good family friends with our dr. Thankfully our boys both still wanted out input with some appointments. They did a good job of weaning of us off their medical issues. My son was in a bad car accident at 17.5 and it took a good five years before everything was taken care of. My husband took care of 99% of it.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 11, 2020 6:56:04 GMT
LOL, for us it is just the opposite. The daughters are on our charts as having permission to know about our medical care. When your daughter is a RN it seems stupid not to have her input!
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Post by lucyg on Jan 11, 2020 7:10:39 GMT
LOL, for us it is just the opposite. The daughters are on our charts as having permission to know about our medical care. When your daughter is a RN it seems stupid not to have her input! I was thinking the exact same thing. My daughter just finished her first semester of RN school and I’m already starting to defer to her on medical matters.  And I wanted to say for the others ... she had a really miserable adolescence, but even she signed the forms for me to be involved in her medical care as soon as she turned 18. They’re just spiting themselves if they don’t ... but some kids gotta learn everything the hard way.  I’m pretty sure her brother refused to sign the forms for me. |
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Post by kluski on Jan 13, 2020 1:38:44 GMT
Thankfully we are very close. The bad news is she doesn’t handle medical stuff well. Never has so navigating this potential dx is going to be a treat.
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Post by breakfastattiffanys on Jan 13, 2020 2:11:37 GMT
Where do you get these forms? Is it something you can download and present if something happens?
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 13, 2020 2:35:39 GMT
Where do you get these forms? Is it something you can download and present if something happens? DD(22) was given all her "adult" forms at the first doctor's visit after turning 18, including the one acknowledging she was financially responsible for all copays, deductibles and charges declined by insurance.  She didn't hesitate to give me access to her files and has asked me to attend consultations and pre/postsurgical appointments with her. When DS(21) moved from the pediatrician to the same PCP as DH, I honestly don't know if he gave either or us access to his records because I wasn't there when he filled out his new patient paperwork. I have bugged him to open EOBs that are addressed to him and explained why it was important to stay on top of paperwork and not be surprised by any declined charges. |
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Post by breakfastattiffanys on Jan 13, 2020 3:20:11 GMT
So the doctor is providing the document that 18 yo needs to fill out to give parents access?
Edited to add...reading comprehension is a good thing. I see that dr office had the document.
Thank you!
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 13, 2020 3:29:35 GMT
So the doctor is providing the document that 18 yo needs to fill out to give parents access? Edited to add...reading comprehension is a good thing. I see that dr office had the document. Thank you! It is a document that any adult patient fills out to give another adult access to their records (not limited to parent/adult child). I filled out the same form to allow DH to have access to my medical records. It may be the same form that allows a specialist to copy your PCP on notes/treatment plans, etc. |
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jan 13, 2020 3:53:10 GMT
My DS broke his foot in 5 places on his 19th birthday. The first question he asked the triage nurse was "What can I sign so my mom can deal with this?" He was not up to adulting that day, and just needed mom to take care of him and all of it. He's almost 22 now, and he puts DH and I down to be able to access even his dental and vision records. Side note- When he broke his foot the ER doctor told me he was not comfortable giving DS the Rx for the pain medication he needed. He asked me to fill the Rx for him, and keep it in my possession. He said "Mom will know if he needs the 6oo mg Tylenol or the scary shit", and he used the words scary shit.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Jan 13, 2020 6:37:39 GMT
About a month after DS turned 18 he was hospitalized and ultimately dx with a very serious life long condition. This has necessitated a lot of communication between drs and insurance. The Drs all contact DS directly with lab results and medication changes, but the first thing he has done with each new dr was sign the release form so we can also have access to all the same information. We still attend appointments with him as it has only been a few months and we are all still getting a handle on the new normal. Eventually he will attend alone. He already takes himself to all his lab draws and he signs all the ppw for procedures. We have been lucky that he has included us in everything, because he absolutely has the right to keep his health private from us. Except the insurance still comes to us with a line item list of everything that has been done for us to pay for. Which, honestly, feels like it defeats the purpose of HIPAA.
My oldest son will only be on our insurance until graduation in April. But he still asks questions about navigating the medical world and let's us know what's going on with him.
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Post by Patter on Jan 13, 2020 11:32:55 GMT
Two of my girls have very serious medical issues--think open heart surgeries, etc. They have signed releases because they want me there. EVERY person no matter how old needs an advocate to listen, help ask questions, etc. You should never go to appointments alone when issues are involved no matter what your age. I have an advocate now for my serious back issue. It's one of my daughter's. She is in medical school, and I take her to every appointment and give her permission to ask any question she thinks of. She has been a tremendous help and especially now that I have to have surgery. She saw my MRI. She knows the issues and helps advocate for me. You daughter would be blessed to have you as her advocate. Would you like her as your advocate? Maybe tell her you need her to be yours if you have an issue. Maybe she will see it's what everyone needs and you love her.
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Post by manda on Jan 13, 2020 11:48:57 GMT
Advocates are great but it is also really important children learn how to navigate their medical care and even insurance questions.
I’m in my 40s and surprised how inept people I know personally, in their 30s and 40s, who do not understand the medical care and insurance world.
My mom backed away from scheduling my appointments when I was in high school when I had a critical chronic health condition as well as a tumor diagnosis, biopsy, and surgical removal. I coordinated most of my care and my mom just came when I needed a driver.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,276
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Post by iowgirl on Jan 13, 2020 15:36:36 GMT
I can't imagine 'making' my kids add me to their medical info.
I had them involved in their own healthcare from an early age. Their bodies - they need to be in charge and not be afraid to question nurses or doctors either.
As soon as they could drive on their own, they took themselves to medical appointments and orthodontist appointments. They always gave me feedback if I asked. I did not ask about personal medical appointments. They shared if they wanted too.
I am stunned when I have friends that have kids in their mid 20's that live on their own, that still rely on Mom to make appointments and go with them.
I can fully understand if there are some developmental or mental health issues that would really need some oversight, and how HIPPA could hinder that. That would be tough to deal with for sure.
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Post by jemmls4 on Jan 13, 2020 16:31:58 GMT
I worked in healthcare for many years before transitioning to IT. I told my kids when they turned 18 that if they wanted they could add me so I could talk to doc/office, see lab results etc.
I told them it was a good idea to have another person that has access just in case. My daughter is married now so her spouse has access. She also has freely shared information with me. Son was happy to sign papers. He rarely gets sick (thank goodness), but he’ s happy to have “backup” so to speak. DH is freaking clueless and is happy to stay that way.
I added husband and both kids to all my doctors because of my chronic medical issues. If something serious should happen whomever they can contact first can get the info they need to make decisions. I’ve also told my family to talk to my best friend (we worked together in lab) if they have any questions should I be in a position that I am not coherent. She knows my wishes and understands my conditions better than my family because of medical background so I trust her to give them the scoop and cut through the doctor talk.
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Post by giatocj on Jan 13, 2020 19:27:35 GMT
My grandson fell down the stairs and split his face open last winter when he was 19. At the ER he signed paperwork that I could handle everything for him, which was good because there was an insurance snafu that he never would have been able to figure out. If it happened today, a year later, he is that much more mature and confident and would be able to handle it no problem. But a year ago he knew his limitations.
Some people just mature at a slower rate than others in their age group and it's important that there are safeguards in place for transitions like this. Medical stuff can confuse the most confident of people sometimes.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Jan 13, 2020 19:35:41 GMT
Oh! I have a fun one. My daughter had a telemedicine appointment scheduled yesterday, the very first appointment of its type that anyone in my family has scheduled. Our provider requires that it be conducted through the provider's app. Because my daughter is under 18, she can't have her own account, she has to log in under my account and then toggle to her tab. Because my daughter is over the age of 12, I may not access the "appointment" section of her account using my app. Because she is under 18, she can't legally sign a proxy without my consent. So the way this will ultimately be resolved is that they are mailing us a new proxy which she must sign in my presence and then I must sign giving my permission to her to give me a proxy which will then give me permission to allow either of us to have full access to her account using my account. We rescheduled the telemedicine appointment. We have had similar issues since my girls turned 12. Both of them are somewhat lazy so they are happy to have me coordinate medical stuff, but they do have to give consent. |
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jan 13, 2020 20:11:57 GMT
Advocates are great but it is also really important children learn how to navigate their medical care and even insurance questions. My parents encouraged me to make my own medical and dental appointments once I was old enough to drive myself. She always pushed independence. I notice the difference with my own two. My son is more independent then my daughter. She about had a panic attack when I asked her brother to take her to the bank with her pay checks from working the ball games. She wanted some in savings and some spending money. She's 15. One evening she asked me to drive her somewhere instead of her behind the wheel. I figured out it was because she didn't want to place the order in the drive through. Needless to say she has been stretched a lot the last few months. Kids have to learn life skills and we have to learn to take a back seat. |
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Post by Patter on Jan 13, 2020 20:16:19 GMT
Medical stuff can confuse the most confident of people sometimes. Absolutely especially with insurance!!!! It can get very complicated fast. Even the most independent, confident people can get confused or overwhelmed no matter what age! |
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Jan 13, 2020 20:52:55 GMT
My kids have been making their own medical decisions since they were 16 and I wasn’t required to be in the room any longer.
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Post by tentoes on Jan 13, 2020 20:53:41 GMT
LOL, for us it is just the opposite. The daughters are on our charts as having permission to know about our medical care. When your daughter is a RN it seems stupid not to have her input! Exactly! My son, ddil, and out of town daughter is on mine. My daughter is an RN!! My son and ddil are who live close by. I'm an RN too, but if I'm out of it, I want someone in control that knows what is going on!! |
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I’m pretty sure her brother refused to sign the forms for me. 
