sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,586
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Feb 25, 2020 20:46:52 GMT
of something sad?
Lately, I'm strangely drawn to listening to a few songs that I link to sad events: certain people, deaths... I'll start listening, then start feeling tearful, and switch to a happier song. And then later, go back to the sad music.
I wonder if it's just a progression of handling grief, since it's been a few months since DBF died, and a few more since niece died, etc. The loss is still there, but I'm able to look at it a little longer or something?
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Post by heckofagal on Feb 25, 2020 20:53:17 GMT
It depends on the mood I am in. Some songs will make me tear up with just a few notes if I'm not in a stable place, but usually I can listen and just be flooded with memories and not tears.
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Post by mom on Feb 25, 2020 20:55:53 GMT
I think it’s just a progression grief. It’s been 15 years once my DD passed and there are just now songs I can listen to without getting sad.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Feb 25, 2020 21:38:11 GMT
For me it's therapy. Healing. Good for my heart and soul. Sometimes cathartic.
I've seen some of those quote type posts in regards to songs.
One of my favorites is along the lines of (I've seen multiple versions of it) >> "Sometimes one song, can take you back to a thousand memories".
I have certain songs for certain people in my life.
The lyrics make me think of that person.
With each song, the lyrics have profound meaning. Some wonderful. Some not.
I also have songs for me. My favorite songs. The song lyrics, each have their own purpose and meaning as to how they motivate me, inspire me, heal me, help me get through the occasional rough days, swirl with memories, push me to be my best self, etc...
My most therapeutic song is mine and my Nana's song.
She was and is, my everything.
I spent most of my childhood in her presence (pawned off by my Mother) in 1986-ish she flew out for a Wedding. I gave her a ride to the store, and this song came on the radio and she said to me "this song reminds me of you...you are my sunshine". It's been "our song" since then.
Stevie Wonder "You are the sunshine of my life"
My Nana passed in 2000, but I listen to that song all the time. I know she loved me, and that alone heals me and brings me comfort. She is always in my heart.
It's truly amazing, what song lyrics can do for one's soul.
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Post by KelleeM on Feb 25, 2020 22:36:22 GMT
The morning my husband passed away I got home and had Alexa play He Stopped Loving Her Today by George Jones. My husband loved that sad song. I cried. I haven’t been able to listen to it since but do notice when I listen to music, which isn’t often, that they lyrics hit me far more than they used to.
To answer your question, for me it’s both.
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Post by finsup on Feb 25, 2020 22:42:41 GMT
Both. And sometimes I need a wallow, so I’ve got a playlist all ready to go for when that happens.
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Post by tentoes on Feb 25, 2020 22:47:10 GMT
I listen to Christian songs to calm my soul. (the old-time hymns type of songs.) It usually gets me OUT of a funk. I guess I don't listen to sad songs.
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Post by kibble on Feb 25, 2020 22:49:35 GMT
For me, torture. My niece died a little over a year ago and one of her all time favorite things was the movie Titanic. It was on tv this weekend and I asked my fiance to turn it to something else because it just made me too sad to hear the melody. Maybe its just too soon and I'll feel differently in the future.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 25, 2020 22:52:57 GMT
It really depends on my mood. Sometimes I get sad, sometimes just going down memory lane not sad but not happy, maybe wishful thinking. Some songs bring me back to certain guys I liked/loved. Those are also depending on my mood. I haven't really lost someone close/close to me (in quite a long time) like parents/siblings/friends (knock on wood) but I am sure when those times are coming some songs are going to make me sad for quite awhile.
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Post by littlemama on Feb 25, 2020 22:56:25 GMT
Both.
Luke Bryan "Drink a Beer" came out around the time FIL died and I sobbed every time it came on. Then Cole Swindell "You Should be Here" came out around the time DS graduated from high school. It was a reminder of all the things FIL was cheated out of.
Now, both of those songs will still cause me to choke up, but they also bring happier memories
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Post by lesley on Feb 25, 2020 23:11:34 GMT
Both. And sometimes I need a wallow, so I’ve got a playlist all ready to go for when that happens. This is exactly how I feel. I know the songs that will set me off (For the Good Times by Perry Como gets me every time, as my dad was always singing it), and sometimes I just need to give in to it and be sad for a while. |
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Post by PEAcan pie on Feb 25, 2020 23:24:23 GMT
Mostly torture because they are mostly centered around my Father who passed from ALS. He was such a music lover and always playing albums growing up.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 25, 2020 23:29:03 GMT
It's a "in the moment" kind of thing for me.
Sometimes I'll hear a song and it will remind me of someone that I've lost or a time in my past & I'll embrace it.
But sometimes it just hurts too much and I can't shut it off fast enough.
My go to for days when i am an emotional wreck inside but still want to hear music is to listen to songs I've never heard before. Usually that mea s going to billboard hot 100 and picking some new stuff.
Even if it's crap, at least it doesn't hurt.
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Post by roundtwo on Feb 25, 2020 23:29:03 GMT
I found it torture to hear some songs when I found out the now ex-husband was cheating but now that it's a few years out, it's been more therapeutic to be able to hear them and not realize until they are half over that they once meant anything to me.
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ellen
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129 
Member is Online
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Post by ellen on Feb 26, 2020 0:29:18 GMT
After my mom died my sister avoided music because it often left her feeling upset. I figured it gave me an excuse to have a much needed cry.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Feb 26, 2020 0:31:02 GMT
Both. And sometimes I need a wallow, so I’ve got a playlist all ready to go for when that happens. Same for me on all  |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Feb 26, 2020 0:32:08 GMT
I find it too hard. It takes a lot of years, usually, for me to be able to revisit songs with sad associations.
I didn't realize you've had these big losses in your life recently, Sharla. I'm so very sorry.
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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 26, 2020 0:48:14 GMT
Sometimes it is helpful to listen to sad music. I got some sad news today and I'm all about sad music. I don't want a pick-me-up right now. I want to feel my sad feelings.
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Post by refugeepea on Feb 26, 2020 1:25:16 GMT
It's torture.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Feb 26, 2020 1:54:57 GMT
I stopped listening to music years ago because so much of it that made me happy, now has bad or sad memories attached to it. I listen to podcasts or the sounds of Disneyland music now.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,586
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Feb 26, 2020 2:26:04 GMT
I find it too hard. It takes a lot of years, usually, for me to be able to revisit songs with sad associations. I didn't realize you've had these big losses in your life recently, Sharla. I'm so very sorry. Thank you! |
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 26, 2020 2:51:33 GMT
When we buried my father, Scandal was on the radio singing Goodbye to You right before I got out of the vehicle. That song makes me smile.
At my mother's funeral they played Amazing Grace and I still can't listen to that song.
Not sure what that means exactly.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:58:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2020 2:53:29 GMT
I’ve been loving sad songs since I was 13. They touch something in me that I can’t always express but recognize as real.
still, there are a few songs I specifically associate with unhappy moments that i still can’t listen to.
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Post by shescrafty on Feb 26, 2020 2:57:35 GMT
When I am allowing myself to wallow in grief (I go deep a few times a year) I have 3 sings I play.
I have been changed for good from Wicked-this song was played on the piano when we left Phoebe’s service and it is the I my broadway play she ever saw. She and I use to sing Popular when she was in preschool and then she learned the other sings.
I’m going to love you like I’m going to lose you-by Meghan Trainor
Lullaby by Billy Joel
Sometimes I find it is cathartic to let go and go deep.
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Post by oliquig on Feb 26, 2020 3:02:38 GMT
I still can't listen to Carole King, since my mother's death in 2017. I link listening to her music with my mother on such a deep level that I end up sobbing.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,608
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Feb 26, 2020 3:11:37 GMT
My favorite non-classic book is Love is a MixTape (Rob Sheffield) He writes beautifully about his love for music and his love for his wife and how their playlists over their relationship and after her sudden death changed meaning. It is a lovely book.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,086
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Post by huskergal on Feb 26, 2020 3:22:22 GMT
of something sad? Lately, I'm strangely drawn to listening to a few songs that I link to sad events: certain people, deaths... I'll start listening, then start feeling tearful, and switch to a happier song. And then later, go back to the sad music.
I wonder if it's just a progression of handling grief, since it's been a few months since DBF died, and a few more since niece died, etc. The loss is still there, but I'm able to look at it a little longer or something?
Depends on the day. Sometimes I swear my mother is controlling my shuffle on my iPod. |
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Post by maryland on Feb 26, 2020 3:33:48 GMT
There are a couple songs I cannot listen to. One is one that was popular when my best friend passed away suddenly at a young age. It was on the radio all the time and I cannot listen to it.
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Post by travelsoul on Feb 26, 2020 4:16:26 GMT
Therapy. I have playlists for various people and moments in my life that represent sad and joyful times. My dad died in a car accident when I was 27. Music was our thing. He always bought me tapes, then CDs, of all the music he thought I needed to know about. We went to concerts together and when I was older we’d sit around and drink beers while listening to his records. There are so many songs that remind me of him, I’d have to stop listening to music All together if songs were too painful. Now I have his record player and all his records. I listen to them when I need to be close to him.
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