How would you treat your mother-in-law??

I probably have a skewed view because my MIL doesn’t cook and I don’t cook. I can’t imagine a world where she (or anyone really) would expect me to cook for her.

That being said, I love my MIL and would absolutely help her in any way that I could. She would be grateful if I made her canned soups and made sure she was eating. She would also appreciate if I made soup for her but would never expect it, let alone expect it every day.

If there were an option for “if I could, I would make soup every day for my MIL, but canned soup would be ok too. My primary goal would be making sure she was getting enough nutrition every day”—that’s what I’d select.

I know there is a lot more going on with this whole situation though, so please don’t think I’m bashing you. I’m more wanting to give you an opinion from someone who sucks at cooking anything yet still loves and supports her dh and her MIL.

Does it have to be soup? I don’t love making soup, though I do make amazing crab soup. 😄. But I can make amazing pancakes and mashed potatoes. I would happily make those for my mother in law if that would meet her dietary restrictions.

I don’t really see the problem with canned soups. Almost all if our soups that we eat come from a can. Are they making the soup for her/them? Or just buying cans for them?

Exactly this.

What about smoothies with some protein powder? My dh made them during my pregnancy. Helped me tremendously.

I couldn’t really vote in your poll based on the wording of the answers.

I think canned soups are a little lazy and def not healthy (mostly due to sodium and lack of some nutrients) to have for every single meal but do think it’s better than having them go hungry.

That said, I would also think they should be getting other kinds of meals in addition to soups and def do my best based on what else the doctor is envisioning. I can’t imagine they said soup all day every day.

And I would feel obligated and that it’s the right thing to do. But I would judge someone harder for neglect.

I get mine at my local grocery store, and it says Oriental. Google says Amazon, Walmart and Target seem to have one that says soy sauce flavored. I don’t know if it’s the same. And frankly I wouldn’t have picked it up if the package said that, but they might be the same thing. Maybe try one and see if you like it?

I don't really agree with any of the options in your poll.

The 'right thing to do' is to do what you can for another person - whatever that may be. If that is buying canned soup, or making homemade soup. 

I cannot with the idea that 'canned soup is cruel'. I'm sorry but you have lost touch with the cruel reality of what is happening for many in the world with that statement. 

If this was my MIL, despite the fact she has always made her own soups, she would be feeling grateful for any support and care she received during this difficult time.

Care for people, however you can. There is not enough kindness in this world for people to start being picky and putting acts of kindness on some sort of scale of best to worst.

I was raised to look after elderly folks who can't look after themselves. DH and I are the only ones in the family who look after his mom. In your situtation, I'd make the soup.

I don't think the canned stuff is cruel, necessarily, but I don't think it's good for anyone to live on processed food for a long period of time. Especially someone recovering from surgery.

I already responded but I want to say this about love and canned soups. I visited my mom last week. She is 85 and has a hard time getting around. She hates to cook. She was happy to tell me she had picked up a can of chicken noodle soup at the store for me because she knew I liked it. Now what I like is Campbell's regular chicken noodle, not low sodium, not healthy heart, not with carrots, but the one I had as a kid. That was not what she got.

But I thanked her, made it, made myself a grilled cheese and dunked it in the broth. See my mom was showing me she thinks about me and wants to make me happy, and in her way, wants to care for me when I visit when it is me trying to care for her.

So take away the condemnation of canned soup from the love equation, and I can get on board a bit better with your way of showing love and care. Would you like BIL and SIL any better if the made homemade soups? I get the idea you wouldn't. That is probably the issue but I'll tell you what. Sharing the responsibility for caring for sick elderly is better shared for everyone's health.

I chose the second option, only because it more closely matched my opinion over the other two. I have to agree, however, with others that the words 'responsibility' and 'obligation' should not have been used. That made me uncomfortable.

Your MIL sounds like she is pretty easy to get along with and is grateful for any help she receives. Forget about the rest of the family - you do what feels right to you. You won't ever regret having done so.

Bears repeating in my opinion.

Let me know what you think!

Also I came back to a bunch of notifications and I’m like WHAT did I say and what am I in trouble for? And it’s about SOUP! 😂

I didn’t vote in your poll but it is interesting.

My MIL and I have a great relationship. I cook soup or other foods & send them home with her all the time. (She comes to play with my grand babies. I’m their daycare provider. When she is here, I let them play & chop veggies or whatever to meal prep. It’s a win win situation.)

I just think that if my MIL had such a surgery, she would enjoy my coming by to visit. No matter what I brought her to eat. Having someone to talk to (even if I’ve heard it all before) is what she enjoys.

For my MIL I'd offer her the same help she has offered me thru the years and when Spencer was so ill. Oh right she offered me none in fact she used to bring meals for my husband to take back home where he had a fucking kitchen and I lived in a hotel for months and months and not one home cooked meal.

I'd spit in the soup if it was for my MIL LOL.

Some people aren't big on cooking so yeah you can't expect that same sort of effort. That was very kind of you.