kurama
Shy Member
Posts: 19
Jan 27, 2020 20:56:14 GMT
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Post by kurama on Mar 3, 2020 23:41:09 GMT
Hi everyone! I'm Kurama and I'm sorta new. I've been lurking and reading all the way back to the beginning of the forum and you all are the perfect group to ask for help. This will be a bit long 🧡
I've been scrapping on and off most of my life, starting with little things when I was a kid. I started up again and am having the time of my life. I've been "threatening" to scrap for years and finally started back up. My husband, I call him Bubbles, is also having a blast with it since part of what I scrap is our truck, so he's involved.
The problem is my mom. She has always been creative and used to have a craft room before we all moved. She packed away two storage units full of just crafty stuff and it sat and sat for years. When I started scrapping again, she said she wanted to as well. Right on, we will do it together!
Except... we haven't. That's my problem. I went a little crazy shopping and stocked myself with all the things, so now I have a nice but small stash. It's all organized as much as it can be in a 400sqft apartment. Her apartment is right below us and the same size. She isn't organized yet, which is one reason she says she can't. I tried to tell her that scrappers really are never organized and that's perfectly okay, but she didn't listen. I'm not talking about an epic mess. Everything has a place but it isn't right and needs to be fixed.
Then she didn't have the right photos. I mean, I get that because you can't really scrap Christmas without the photos. But... she has about 150 already printed.
Then it was the wrong scrapbook, paper, stickers... you guys get it. So, my dad put on his superhero cape, went to every last store and came home with everything she said she was missing. She ordered several hundred dollars in stuff from Amazon. It has all arrived. I even went and bought her stuff.
Then she changed her mind and wants the first page she makes to be extra special, but is having a hard time as it's a friend that had a sudden death years ago. I get that, and suggested maybe we start with something fun instead. No, it has to be this one.
And then... it came. She said it. She saw how I'm changing and evolving my style and said, "I'm afraid of doing it wrong. What if I do it wrong, Kurama? What if they don't look like yours?"
I wanted to cry. I assured her that they'd never look like mine because I have my own style. They would look like her, as they should. No one would want to see me come out of her in a page. I want her, and her style, and her words and art. Then I tried to explain there is only one wrong way to scrap, and that's to not do it at all.
She's also over-planning pages. We are both planners, but hers is to the extent that for one page, she has about 20 title options.
I'm at a loss. She wants to scrap, but she won't. I don't know what to do anymore. She has everything she needs and could want. Oh, I even made a small kit and scraped at her house one day to try to stir something in her. That was in the beginning of February.
Do you know of any way I can get her to start? I appreciate the help so much! And if you read all that, you're the real MVP 😁
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Post by mom on Mar 4, 2020 0:01:46 GMT
Hey! 👋
Just keep encouraging her. Tell her you don't care if she messes up or not. You just want to spend time with her. And tell her if she hates what she's made, she can always redo it later!
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Post by Jessica on Mar 4, 2020 0:05:33 GMT
Hey! 👋 Just keep encouraging her. Tell her you don't care if she messes up or not. You just want to spend time with her. And tell her if she hates what she's made, she can always redo it later! This 100%. If she's concerned about doing it wrong, have her also use copies of a picture (maybe the fact that it's the original is causing angst?) And welcome! |
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 4, 2020 0:17:33 GMT
What mom said. Just keep encouraging her. There really is no one way to do it. On this board there are scrappers who make 12x12 pages and 4x6 pages, lots of journaling or none at all, lots of photos or none at all, and everything in between. I think it's just hard for her to make that first page because she's putting so much pressure on herself. Will it help to remind her that it's just paper? And if she doesn't like it, she can rework it? I hope you can help her overcome her anxiety about it. You sound like a very caring daughter. |
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Post by quinmm14 on Mar 4, 2020 0:19:40 GMT
Welcome! I agree with the others, and I'm wondering if you just start scrapping pages and she sees them and also sees you being productive maybe it will encourage her to jump right in. Could you find some YT videos to watch with her? I always want to jump right into scrapping after I've watched a couple.  |
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Post by gramasue on Mar 4, 2020 0:25:19 GMT
Hi! and welcome.
Let your Mom know that the beauty of crafting, and especially scrapbooking, is to put your own stamp on it. Sorry, didn't mean to make that sound like a pun. If her pages come from the heart, then they will be perfect. It's very hard to scrap about a person you loved who has died. Maybe start with suggesting some poetry or phrasing that she can relate to her friend, and go from there. Maybe tell her to start with a 'practice' page. If she thinks it won't be the only one she can make on the subject, maybe she will dive in and just start.
I think it's lovely that you want to spend time with her, scrapping. I wish my daughters and granddaughters were as interested in it as I am. I would love to share this wonderful hobby with them, but alas, they are just not into it.
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Post by jennyap on Mar 4, 2020 1:05:03 GMT
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Post by katlady on Mar 4, 2020 1:16:04 GMT
Have her come over to your place one day and use your stuff and pictures Then when she feels comfortable, maybe she’ll start to do her own photos.
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Post by artisticscrapper on Mar 4, 2020 1:24:45 GMT
Would it be possible to get her to do some fun pages first? It seems like the starting with a special page is stressful for her. And you’re right, everyone has there own style. Do you have any of her older pages you can look at with her? Maybe it would remind her of how good her pages look and how much fun scrapping can be.
Oh, and welcome to the board. I hope you’ll stick around and let us know how it goes.
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Post by Linda on Mar 4, 2020 1:28:55 GMT
welcome to the board.
Getting going is the hard part sometimes. I would encourage her to make a couple of copies of the photo she wants to use so if she's not happy with the first version she can try again.
I sometimes find making a card or following a sketch is a good way to get going after being away from scrapping for a while
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cbscrapper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,480 
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Post by cbscrapper on Mar 4, 2020 4:45:57 GMT
Do you have any stores near you that have classes, or an expo coming up near you? Maybe taking a class together and just playing (without the pressure of photos or story) will get her scrappy muscle memory going. Starting out with such a big, important, emotional layout is just too hard. It’s always easiest for me, when I’ve been out of scrapping a while, to start with a predesigned kit (like from Scrapbook Generation or a paper piecing from Paper Wizard) or start by copying a LO I love on Pinterest. In both cases, I don’t have to think, I just do it. I often even create those without photos or story and do it as a background or base page. It’s a warm up to get going.
Good luck and have fun! I wish my mom still scrapbooked - I enjoyed sharing the hobby with her.
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Post by don on Mar 4, 2020 5:00:24 GMT
Maybe get her started on page 2. The thing to remember about scrapbooking and stamping ... it's just paper.
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kurama
Shy Member
Posts: 19
Jan 27, 2020 20:56:14 GMT
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Post by kurama on Mar 4, 2020 5:48:26 GMT
You all are the most wonderful group of people 🧡
Yes, we are very close - Bubbles and I live above them because this is where they live, so, so do we. I am always running down the stairs and bursting into their apartment 🤣 You'd think I was a kid still! But, I only get one set of parents so I may as well utilize my time wisely with them.
We both deal with the bad kind of perfectionism and I also use scrapping as a therapy for it and its helped a ton. I wonder if hers has taken over. I should grab her photos and scan them for her so she can have an infinite number of them all over and if she doesn't like it, she can trash the print and redo it. Thank you to everyone who suggested that!
She can't go anywhere, her health has her stuck in bed, so we go to her. But man, her mind is so sharp and the things shes made over the years are so cool and beautiful.
I did manage to get her to watch two Shimelle videos, I think they were Glitter Girl. She LOVED them and how Shimelle does her process, so I've been gently encouraging her to watch a few more. I showed her my Pinterest too.
I do plan on staying around, I like it here 😁
Thank you all so, so much. I even took notes with all of your ideas. Now, Bubbkes and I need to put Operation Scrappin' Mama into action!
(I apologize for the typos, my phone has decided that it is taking over)
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,449
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Post by scrapnnana on Mar 4, 2020 7:09:05 GMT
It’s hard to get going again if you haven’t done it for a long time.
I have one more suggestion:
Tell her to create the layout, but don’t glue anything down until she is happy with it.
That is what I do. Sometimes I have to walk away and think about it for awhile. Sometimes I need to make changes, but eventually I do glue everything down once I am happy with it. As long as I don’t glue anything, I can swap or change things until it feels right.
It’s getting started that is the real issue, but if she is afraid of messing it up, the tip I just gave you may be what she needs to hear.
It works for me.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,439
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Mar 4, 2020 13:32:44 GMT
Just keep encouraging her Maybe help her pick the perfect picture to start with, and remind her that she can print that picture again, as many times as she wants. I have scrapped with friends who forget that. It’s like they think the picture was gone forever, and if they mess up, it’s ruined or something. Same with the products. It’s all replaceable Now, obviously if it’s an OLD picture, that’s different. But I recommend scanning those first anyway to have a digital copy. |
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Post by LisaDV on Mar 4, 2020 14:02:16 GMT
I think it's awesome that you are close and that you are encouraging her.
I find if I've been away for a while that I can NOT start with a special page. I need something fun and light that if and when it doesn't come out like the picture in my head, I won't be upset. For me that is art journaling, I find that just smooshing paint and ink around on paper helps clear away the "exactness" bug. Before art journaling, I would take a couple of layouts that I loved and scraplift them. I would use my own papers and elements and would recreate those pages. Maybe that could help your mom.
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,083
Location: Valley of the Sun
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Mar 5, 2020 2:46:26 GMT
I did manage to get her to watch two Shimelle videos, I think they were Glitter Girl. She LOVED them and how Shimelle does her process, so I've been gently encouraging her to watch a few more. I showed her my Pinterest too. Maybe also watch Vicki Boutin. She makes beautiful things but her technique (from the little I’ve seen) is more ‘messy’. I recently bought one of her mixed media kits from Home Shopping Network and the videos make it look super easy. Slap a stencil down, smear some paste over it, dab some ink on it, and voila—masterpiece! |
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Mar 5, 2020 5:07:23 GMT
Tell her to create the layout, but don’t glue anything down until she is happy with it. My add-on tip to this is: if your mom has a smart phone or digital camera, when she "finishes" the first unglued layout, have her take a photo. Then rearrange again and take another photo. Do this a few times. And then, she can go back to the camera roll and scroll back and forth between the various versions and decide which she likes best... and she'll have the blueprint right there to look at. Another thing: sometimes, we get really caught up in making sure all of our stuff matches, but I am constantly reminding myself that it doesn't have to match, it just has to go (together). |
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Post by scrapaddict702 on Mar 5, 2020 5:23:51 GMT
I'm A LOT like this because I am not super creative naturally, but I love all of the pretty things. I highly suggest you guys taking a class together...one where everything is all kitted up and you just follow directions. I still have issues being a self starter and struggle to cut into papers I love in case I change my mind because I can't undo a cut, but I have an easier time having fun when I'm doing what I'm told to complete a project. Perhaps that could help take some of the pressure off for her.
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Post by Embri on Mar 5, 2020 6:19:01 GMT
How about you do a page or two together?
Ask for her help working on some of your pages. That way she's not working on that super-special first page that has to be perfect, and she'll be able to get in some practice. Maybe you can make a mini-album together for a friend or relative as a gift, even.
Starting anything new can be daunting, and fear of failure is a real mind-killer. Another option would be making some of the elements she'd like for her pages, not the whole kit and caboodle. Mat & frame a few photos, or make some embellishments, corners, borders, titles, whatever.
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Post by peanutterbutter on Mar 5, 2020 6:31:09 GMT
The suggestion about not having her glue anything down is a really good one! Maybe she would benefit from having a scrappin easel, it's a board on a slant if she's working in bed that might be good for her, and it has magnets that secure your elements to the paper and the board while you decide how you want your layout to look.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 5, 2020 12:58:56 GMT
Welcome!
Remind her there is no wrong in scrapbooking. It's whatever makes YOU happy.
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ditzydoodle
Junior Member
Posts: 81
Jun 2, 2019 19:02:16 GMT
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Post by ditzydoodle on Mar 5, 2020 13:33:23 GMT
Welcome! Remind her there is no wrong in scrapbooking. It's whatever makes YOU happy. This! Any type of crafting can never be done 'wrong'. If you end up with something that you like and looks good to you, then you did it right! Just keep encouraging her, hopefully she will come around. |
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Post by grammadee on Mar 5, 2020 14:12:16 GMT
Welcome to the board! Lots of good advice here.
The first page is definitely the hardest. And she is probably full of doubt b/c her lack of mobility has changed so many things for her.
Is there an event or a photo that brings her joy that you could ask her to scrap FOR you? Or could you ask her to create some duplicates of her older pages for other family members?
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 5, 2020 14:45:23 GMT
Oh my mom is kinda the same way. We don't live close to each other though.. but she has a room dedicated and enough supplies. She doesn't feel the need to buy more but she is always saying, my pages never look as good as yours. I try to encourage her and tell her it's not about who's pages look better, it is just done for fun. I tell her there is always pages that 'look' better than mine. She does like to scrap with me (which is hardly ever) but she feels like she does a better job when I am giving her tips (she asks for them).. but I still try to encourage her to get up to her room and make some pages.
Keep working with her.. there is no right or wrong way.. just make it about it being fun.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 20, 2024 16:21:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2020 19:00:58 GMT
Oh my mom is kinda the same way. We don't live close to each other though.. but she has a room dedicated and enough supplies. She doesn't feel the need to buy more but she is always saying, my pages never look as good as yours. I try to encourage her and tell her it's not about who's pages look better, it is just done for fun. I tell her there is always pages that 'look' better than mine. She does like to scrap with me (which is hardly ever) but she feels like she does a better job when I am giving her tips (she asks for them).. but I still try to encourage her to get up to her room and make some pages. This is 100% my mom. |
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Post by sleepingbooty on Mar 5, 2020 19:35:30 GMT
Welcome kurama! And how difficult it can be to accept in one's perfectionist heart that there is no wrong way of being creative. Other posters have given you great advice already. I'm just going to emphasise the idea of planning to be creative on the regular. This is what has most helped me in the past to just dig into it and have fun. Scrapbooking should be about using your photos and memories to be creative, not about making the best or prettiest LOs for the simple reason that styles and trends change, what was considered desirable in terms of aesthetics twenty years ago doesn't come close to the current trends. One of my favourite people in the crafty world to embrace this message of "make room in your schedule to be creative, don't strive for perfect and refrain yourself from actually *making* art" is Caylee Grey. She used to scrapbook and do Project Life but is more focused on art journals at the moment. However, she mentions the need to be creative rather than wait until you can do it "just right" very regularly on her Instagram account. Definitely would recommend the follow for some wise words and encouragement to get messy rather than wait for an elusive moment when you'll be able to achieve the perfect look. If she's currently creatively blocked, you can set a craft date where you turn scrapbooking into a special event (get a few special treats, set a specific time apart, prepare a craft date kit to help her by having a limited amount of stuff to pick from) and offer her to do a LO exchange: she creates a page about you, you a page about her (you'll need to make sure you have photos of each other in advance). It's a nice ruse to push someone over the creative edge and just get going. You can propose to make a '10 things I love about you' page. At the end of the date, you give each other the completed scrap portraits.  |
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Post by infochick on Mar 5, 2020 20:54:32 GMT
I agree with those people who mentioned that she might just need to flex her creative muscles a bit. When I am just getting back to scrapping, I find it is like making pancakes. The first one is never the best.
Another idea to get her warmed up might be to make some "base pages"...it's basically just an exercise of combining some papers together to make the background of the page. Janet with RTS (Record the Story) has some videos up on YouTube about this. There would be no pressure of her using her favorite papers, or adding photos right now. If she has lots of Christmas pictures, she might want to make some Christmas backgrounds. This would get her warmed up and thinking about the proportions or layouts of paper that she likes best, and her special photo could still be her first "real" page, and yet these would not go waste. Janet also has a few videos on "Go 2 Designs" which breaks down some very basic ways of putting together layouts (and are often used in her base pages), and then how to elevate them with decorative elements. She is chatty, but I like her style and she is VERY informative.
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kurama
Shy Member
Posts: 19
Jan 27, 2020 20:56:14 GMT
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Post by kurama on Mar 5, 2020 21:25:33 GMT
Oh, your ideas 🧡🧡 I've decided this is a "nesting" weekend so maybe I can gather up some snacks and pages and go hang out down by her and have her help! Our nephew will be here too so maybe he can join. He really loves art projects and when I was teaching him, that's all he wanted to do. Maybe if he's involved, it would help too.
I'd love for her to try just something fun or just decorate some paper. Not use a photo but just mess around with stuff on a page.
Theres a slight update. Yesterday she told me she has almost everything she needs for her first page but something is missing. She wasn't sure what it was. She has it in a kit right now. I suggested she get it all out and start. What is missing, if anything, will come to her.
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kurama
Shy Member
Posts: 19
Jan 27, 2020 20:56:14 GMT
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Post by kurama on Mar 7, 2020 1:57:38 GMT
I have an update! Yesterday I did my usual burst through the door and dropped my soda... because there she sat, scrapping! SHE MADE HER FIRST PAGE YOU GUYS!!!
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