finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by finaledition on Mar 14, 2020 23:06:23 GMT
I have a reservation to fly on 3/24 cross country from Northern CA to Maryland. My sister is going through chemo, it's her 3rd round. The second one was particularly tough and she asked if I could stay longer (a full week) than I had originally planned so as of now I will return on 4/2. She has no family on the east coast, her husband may or not end up working from home, she has a 10 year old daughter. She keeps asking if I'm coming and I keep telling her as long as I'm not a threat to her health I will. At this time we are taking the social distancing seriously as I'm keeping this in mind. I've been trying to keep her aware, but I don't think they have done nearly the amount of prepping as I have. I know they have the basics, but doubt they have a super well stocked pantry as they have been receiving meals from friends. Also friends have been helping out with her daughter, but not really sure how long that will be an option. Thoughts...my husband thinks that domestic travel may end up being banned particularly from CA so that may end up making the decision.
ETA-I still have a 12 year old at home.
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sueg
Prolific Pea
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Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Mar 14, 2020 23:10:29 GMT
In your circumstances, I would possibly travel to your sister, but expect to stay long term. Not just 2-3 weeks, but possibly 2-3 months. If that's not an option for you, then I'd probably say don't go.
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Post by busy on Mar 14, 2020 23:24:59 GMT
I would not, though I’d want to. It’s unnecessary risk for her. Is there anyone close who can help her?
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 14, 2020 23:34:10 GMT
I would not fly. I might drive if it was 100% necessary, but what if we go on a travel ban between states and you are stuck there?
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Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,709
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Post by Dani-Mani on Mar 14, 2020 23:44:08 GMT
We canceled my surprise birthday trip and I’m bummed. But I don’t trust a hotel anywhere right now. Or the people in the hotels.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Mar 14, 2020 23:54:33 GMT
I don’t think I’d want to risk passing it in to her. Will you be certain that you won’t have it after flying there... not really.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
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Post by used2scrap on Mar 15, 2020 2:25:06 GMT
No I wouldn’t want to bring extra germs to her or be stuck far from home for a while.
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StephDRebel
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Post by StephDRebel on Mar 15, 2020 3:11:18 GMT
Nope. You are already a risk to her.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 21:27:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2020 3:13:28 GMT
I don't have an answer, but wanted to say ((((hugs))) and please let us know what you decide. I have a similar decision to make, but at the end of April.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 15, 2020 3:19:17 GMT
I would not. Just traveling by air these days would present an added risk not only to yourself but also to her, with all the recycled air inside the planes and all the rando people you come into contact with at the airports. Can you FaceTime or do Google Hangouts video chat with her? That might help a little. I’m so sorry you’re faced with this decision.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Mar 15, 2020 3:22:34 GMT
So so hard decisions to make. Wishing your sister and you the best!
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Post by flanz on Mar 15, 2020 3:23:09 GMT
I don't think you should go. cAn you arrange to FaceTime with her every day instead? I know that's not nearly the same, but maybe it would help lift her spirits in your absence.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 15, 2020 3:23:36 GMT
I would want her oncologist to give an opinion. If you could be helpful and it's safe then I would absolutely go. My answer was clear as mud. Normally, I would say race over there, but I think her oncologist is really the best one to make that determination and not the media.
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Post by mrssmith on Mar 15, 2020 3:38:19 GMT
I'm sorry you're facing this decision. It would be very hard for me to be away from my sister in that situation. I think checking with the doctor is a good idea. And I agree - you might not get back in a week.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
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Post by TXMary on Mar 15, 2020 3:44:18 GMT
I would want her oncologist to give an opinion. If you could be helpful and it's safe then I would absolutely go. My answer was clear as mud. Normally, I would say race over there, but I think her oncologist is really the best one to make that determination and not the media. I agree with this. I went through chemo when H1N1 was going around. My immune system got progressively worse with each chemo. My oncologist didn’t want me leaving the house unless I absolutely had to. I am so sorry that you’re faced with this very difficult decision. |
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Post by elaine on Mar 15, 2020 3:52:22 GMT
Where in MD? If it is in the DC Metro area, is there anything I can do to help?
I don’t think it is safe for you to fly and then expose her to whatever you’ve come in contact with; but her oncologist would know best.
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by finaledition on Mar 15, 2020 5:54:20 GMT
I did speak to my doctor on Monday (follow up to the flu A I had a week prior) and she said she would go if healthy, but I can’t help but think her advice would change as more info becomes known. I will wait till Monday and ask her to speak with her doctor for his advice. My sister has a good support network of friends and neighbors, but my concern is some of that network may break down as this spreads. On the other hand I am seeing an abundance of offers to help people like my own sister in my own community and am hopeful that this will be the case in hers. elaine she lives in Annapolis. If you become aware of any Facebook groups or next door groups that are helping those who are immune compromised I would be grateful for the links. Thanks everyone. I’m struggling with doing the right thing. I know she desperately wants me there, but driving would not be an option and I can probably be gone two weeks, but not indefinitely. We talk a lot. I sent her a huge amazon care package at the end of January so she is loaded with soap and hand sanitizer. This is just such a hard situation because there really would be no other reason I wouldn’t be there for her. |
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Post by kristi on Mar 15, 2020 6:06:52 GMT
My sister lives in another state and had her 3rd round of chemo yesterday. She is and has been physically struggling since the 2nd round.
I would not fly to see her - with people flying that have the virus or are waiting on results or not being screened... you won’t know you if have been exposed & very likely possible could pass on to her. I wouldn’t want to do that with her low immunity.
You are in a difficult position {hugs}.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 15, 2020 6:42:33 GMT
It looks like the consensus is not to go. that is such a hard decision.
Could you possibly use the money you would have spent flying to pay for hiring someone to help her out a few days a week? Or perhaps a box meal subscription for her family? Though you did say there are friends helping out, maybe one of them could suggest what is needed most and will lift her spirits a bit.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 15, 2020 10:59:00 GMT
I would not go in March I would consider going for her April treatment of things start to get better. I just wouldn’t risk the exposure for her. I’d have her DH take this next round and you take the one after that.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.
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Post by elaine on Mar 15, 2020 14:16:15 GMT
I did speak to my doctor on Monday (follow up to the flu A I had a week prior) and she said she would go if healthy, but I can’t help but think her advice would change as more info becomes known. I will wait till Monday and ask her to speak with her doctor for his advice. My sister has a good support network of friends and neighbors, but my concern is some of that network may break down as this spreads. On the other hand I am seeing an abundance of offers to help people like my own sister in my own community and am hopeful that this will be the case in hers. elaine she lives in Annapolis. If you become aware of any Facebook groups or next door groups that are helping those who are immune compromised I would be grateful for the links. Thanks everyone. I’m struggling with doing the right thing. I know she desperately wants me there, but driving would not be an option and I can probably be gone two weeks, but not indefinitely. We talk a lot. I sent her a huge amazon care package at the end of January so she is loaded with soap and hand sanitizer. This is just such a hard situation because there really would be no other reason I wouldn’t be there for her. (((Hugs))) I will keep my ears and eyes open. If she needs something in an emergency, it is just an hour drive, so I can bring any supplies she needs (if I can get them). |
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,896
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Post by finaledition on Mar 15, 2020 22:17:06 GMT
Update: My sister sent a text to me this morning. She and her husband are concerned about my visit and think I should not come. It was such a relief for me to have her come to this conclusion. Her husband is going to be working from home so I know she will have his help.
As soon as I can safely visit I will for sure be there and she knows that. Lots of phone calls and texts will be in our future for now.
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Post by tommygirl on Mar 15, 2020 22:21:21 GMT
I am glad her dh will be able to stay with her and help out. I am thankful for Facetime and all the other technology that allows us to stay in touch with loved ones safely without possibly exposing them to anything
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Post by hop2 on Mar 15, 2020 22:21:30 GMT
Update: My sister sent a text to me this morning. She and her husband are concerned about my visit and think I should not come. It was such a relief for me to have her come to this conclusion. Her husband is going to be working from home so I know she will have his help. As soon as I can safely visit I will for sure be there and she knows that. Lots of phone calls and texts will be in our future for now. Hugs |
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Post by busy on Mar 15, 2020 22:22:46 GMT
Update: My sister sent a text to me this morning. She and her husband are concerned about my visit and think I should not come. It was such a relief for me to have her come to this conclusion. Her husband is going to be working from home so I know she will have his help. As soon as I can safely visit I will for sure be there and she knows that. Lots of phone calls and texts will be in our future for now. I’m sure that it’s very hard not to be there for her, but this seems like the best possible outcome for keeping her safe. I’m sorry  |
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ddly
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Post by ddly on Mar 15, 2020 22:23:38 GMT
I’m glad to read your update! It’s awful nice to have peas offering to help!
She will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Mystie on Mar 15, 2020 22:40:26 GMT
Update: My sister sent a text to me this morning. She and her husband are concerned about my visit and think I should not come. It was such a relief for me to have her come to this conclusion. Her husband is going to be working from home so I know she will have his help. As soon as I can safely visit I will for sure be there and she knows that. Lots of phone calls and texts will be in our future for now. I'm glad you can stay home, though I'm sure you want so much to be with her, too. I pray she can be surrounded with support and care, even from afar. |
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Post by shamrock on Mar 15, 2020 23:31:48 GMT
I’m so glad your sister was able to come to that decision and you didn’t have to make it. Healthy wishes for all of you!
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Mar 15, 2020 23:33:56 GMT
Glad to hear the update.
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