Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:28 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2020 13:20:21 GMT
I'm a worn out mama today and the day has just started. I started out wanting advice but really, when you are raising teens the things that are important today may have have changed 6x by tomorrow. I'll just say when you get to a point that you are requiring the 17 yo gets a job since life w/out one isn't panning out any better than it would with one, it kinda feels like we're failing as parents.
Crazy enough, this isn't even COVID related, she hasn't minded that hardly a bit. I'm sure that has added stress for many of you.
So, if you are frustrated or exhausted raising and living with your teen(s), know I'm on the bench with you and we WILL get through it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Merge on May 19, 2020 13:25:21 GMT
Hang in there, mom. I have a 17 year old and now the 19 year old is back living with us at least for the summer. It’s very touch and go around here most days.
|
|
River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,575
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
|
Post by River on May 19, 2020 13:50:30 GMT
Raising hand!!! Teens are hard as heck to parent.
|
|
|
|
Post by leannec on May 19, 2020 13:53:06 GMT
My dd's are living with ex at the moment ... I know he has days when their moods get to be too much ... welcome to my life for the past 20 years  It really is his turn to see what I dealt with raising them ... he was in the house but most things to do with them was left to me ... they are 21 and almost 17 ... good kids but can be difficult at times  I sent this meme to ex on Facebook this week   |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:28 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2020 14:07:57 GMT
Love that meme, leannec and perfectly fitting! My favorite one for last summer was "parenting is like standing in a hammock with a glass of wine and trying not to spill any". I may have to adopt yours for this summer (unless I can get the job to fill alllll of her free time!). |
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 19, 2020 14:13:22 GMT
*Nods head*
I can relate.
It's even MORE fun when they are both a teen and a legal adult.
Then suddenly they are SOOOOOO smart, and you are SOOOOO dumb, and they know everything better than you.
(Until they move out, and see how much more work daily living is when you don't have mom filling in all the gaps)
|
|
|
|
Post by scrapqueen01 on May 19, 2020 14:15:14 GMT
leannec, I love that meme as it fits perfectly.
Dd is usually pleasant for the most part. Being stuck at home hasn't bothered her one bit. However, the school work. That child could give the best procrastinator good competition. An assignment she could get done within 30 minutes takes her hours to finish. It's not that she can't do the work she just doesn't want to. To her summer vacation started the moment schools shut down middle of March. The projects she had to do that involved drawing she was on the ball with (she's an artist). I'm glad this is the last week.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:28 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2020 14:24:04 GMT
*Nods head* I can relate. It's even MORE fun when they are both a teen and a legal adult. Then suddenly they are SOOOOOO smart, and you are SOOOOO dumb, and they know everything better than you. (Until they move out, and see how much more work daily living is when you don't have mom filling in all the gaps) We've had many of those days with the older 2 and I swear I'd almost bite my tongue completely off to not engage, as it was a losing battle! Yes, they always knew it all The older 2 have finally grown into reasonable humans, ask for very little and actually seem to like us! They were both very self-motivated and had goals as teens, but not very pleasant personalities for a few years. Makes me sad my 17 yo has been my favorite to hang out with of all my kids, but just zigs and zags moving forward in life. She'll get there... |
|
smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475 
Location: MN
|
Post by smcast on May 19, 2020 14:44:23 GMT
Mine has two part time jobs and has been picking up hours almost every day. Her school work doesn't amount to much. She's never home. She has been around a couple friends through this. I've preached social distancing and reasons why it's important. She's been ok with the two main friends. She seems to think she can come and go as she pleases. I guess it's kind of like college, juggling everything. I
just need to let go a little more, I dont know.
Dd is 16, finishing up her junior year.
|
|
|
|
Post by vspindler on May 19, 2020 15:29:11 GMT
I actually messaged my mom this weekend to apologize for my teenage years. That I finally understood why she asked my once why I hated her. My teenage daughter seems to think I’m the dumbest and most imposing person in the world right now.
|
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on May 19, 2020 15:32:25 GMT
My almost 18 year old finished finals last week for his college. He started a job today. I believe out relationship will be getting better.
I need to figure some stuff out for my 15 year old, but I have to make it through this last week of my school first
|
|
|
|
Post by FuzzyMutt on May 19, 2020 15:50:00 GMT
I feel for you all. I'm glad my 18 year old is the last. If I had another, younger, I'd be dreading the teen years for years to come. He graduated last year and was working in a trade, full time. So... living at home, lots of pocket money, resulted in really really frustrating decisions and behavior, but a generally decent human. Well. He got laid off, and just got approved for unemployment (with the $600/week couch sitting bonus) so NOW he'll not only have plenty of money to get into all the crap he wants to get into (more than he was making working!), he has no boundaries pertaining to having to show up to work and be useful. He and his girlfriend decided this week to go up to Maine off the grid for two weeks. I was happy to wave goodbye as the pulled out of the driveway. Hopeful he chooses the yeti life and stays up there!  Best to all the parents and "kids." Glad I'm a scrapbooker and I can easily look back and remember the sweet days LOL |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:28 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2020 16:29:01 GMT
Holy crap teenage boy. Get off your ass and go return your books and pick up your graduation announcements. The email said "seniors only." Go! While you're at it, get a job. Gaming until 2am is getting old.
|
|
freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
|
Post by freebird on May 19, 2020 16:30:52 GMT
Best advice I ever heard on parenting:
It's ok to want to kick them down the stairs, just don't do it.
|
|
|
|
Post by fredfreddy44 on May 19, 2020 16:36:34 GMT
Fortunately mine are doing pretty well, they aren't really teenagers as they turn 18 and 21 in August. One talks really loudly to his friends while he plays TF2 6-8 hrs a day and the other one is learning the harmonica and I have to listen to the opening notes to "Bad to the Bone" 100 times in a row, but otherwise mostly good. They aren't great at cleaning either.
They both do have summer jobs, just less hours than before. Ds21 will be teaching online programming (instead of in person) 10-20 hours a week. Ds18 will be doing cleaning jobs 10-15 hrs a week and maybe some teaching.
|
|
scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,826
|
Post by scrapngranny on May 19, 2020 16:41:28 GMT
I just stopped by to give you a little hope. I’ve BTDT and I can say it does get better, when they are about 25. 😬
All 3 now have teens, revenge is sweet!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 19, 2020 17:18:03 GMT
Count me in the vent, too. My 18 y/o is the nicest kid ever, never talks back, and is incredibly easy going. Sounds good so far, right? We are still on the lookout though for his drive and motivation -- it seems to have disappeared. He'll willingly help around the house (if you point it out and spell it out), but you get the most half-assed results possible. He went off the rails with his college classes after they switched to on-line learning. He says he's getting a summer job, but has made little to no effort to acquire one.
His three older brothers have been face-timing him to provide some advice and support. I appreciate that because there's a good chance he 'hears' more of what they have to say than his parents. But I'm cracking up at THEIR frustration with him. "Omg, mom, is this what it was like when WE were teens? We are so sorry." At least that gives me a little needed laugh.
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on May 19, 2020 17:20:52 GMT
DD20 isn't a teen anymore - but she is now looking at finishing her last two years of college online from home...I have very mixed feelings about this...especially since she has a tendency to snap at DD13 who, being a very sensitive soul, then dissolves into a puddle of misery
|
|
|
|
Post by nlwilkins on May 19, 2020 17:41:04 GMT
Oh I remember those years! I would purposely stay at school and grade papers rather than come home to the drama of teenagers.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on May 19, 2020 19:37:56 GMT
Poor DDIL is taking the brunt of things with our 16 year old granddaughter. She's tough under normal circumstances.
|
|
|
|
Post by ~summer~ on May 19, 2020 19:45:47 GMT
I have 3 teen boys all at home at the moment - ages 19, almost 18 and almost 16. For the most part they are super nice kids but ooof it is a lot!
|
|
|
|
Post by vspindler on May 19, 2020 20:22:38 GMT
Best advice I ever heard on parenting: It's ok to want to kick them down the stairs, just don't do it. I told my son once “grandchildren are nature’s reward for not strangling you’re teenagers” and that he “only owed me one, maybe two”. Without missing a beat he added “yeah but I’m going to have a lot of nieces and nephews!” He may end up being right. ‘Cause damn, I don’t know if I have enough antidepressants and anxiety meds to get me through my daughter’s teen years. She only just turned 14. |
|
freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
|
Post by freebird on May 19, 2020 20:30:01 GMT
Count me in the vent, too. My 18 y/o is the nicest kid ever, never talks back, and is incredibly easy going. Sounds good so far, right? We are still on the lookout though for his drive and motivation -- it seems to have disappeared. He'll willingly help around the house (if you point it out and spell it out), but you get the most half-assed results possible. He went off the rails with his college classes after they switched to on-line learning. He says he's getting a summer job, but has made little to no effort to acquire one. His three older brothers have been face-timing him to provide some advice and support. I appreciate that because there's a good chance he 'hears' more of what they have to say than his parents. But I'm cracking up at THEIR frustration with him. "Omg, mom, is this what it was like when WE were teens? We are so sorry." At least that gives me a little needed laugh.
Vindication!! (kinda)
The baton has passed.
(almost)
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:26:28 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 19, 2020 21:49:53 GMT
Oh I remember those years! I would purposely stay at school and grade papers rather than come home to the drama of teenagers.  I think that was what my mom did, too! Such a double whammy right now for teachers who are also the parents of teens. Yikes!! |
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 19, 2020 22:59:27 GMT
have 3 teen boys all at home at the moment - ages 19, almost 18 and almost 16. That was my exact age spread with my older three. Holy schiznets. It cam be a bit much even with good kids, right? Vindication!! (kinda)
The baton has passed.
(almost) Haha. I know, right? |
|
peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
|
Post by peabay on May 19, 2020 23:20:06 GMT
Try having a 22 year old graduating college tomorrow and wallowing in self pity over how rough her life is. She doesn't want us to acknowledge any of it - well, we spent a couple of hundred grand on that education and we're celebrating the hell out of it. She can just decline the invitation if she wants. We have balloons and cake and our own little quarantine party tomorrow. She can choose to attend or not.
|
|
johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
|
Post by johnnysmom on May 19, 2020 23:30:59 GMT
So glad ds18 went back to work last week. The up all night playing Xbox and sleeping in till we’ll after noon was starting to get old. No way could we have handled all summer like that.
|
|
I think that was what my mom did, too!
