Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 1:59:46 GMT
I am sitting right next him, he doesn’t need to use his LOUD voice.
And if I am not sitting next to, he follows me and still uses his LOUD voice.
How do I get him to stop using his LOUD voice without hurting his itty bitty man feelings.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 21, 2020 2:01:35 GMT
Earplugs?
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Post by lisae on May 21, 2020 2:04:16 GMT
Does he have poor hearing? People who are hard of hearing will talk louder.
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Post by Laurie on May 21, 2020 2:34:34 GMT
This is me. My family is constantly telling me to talk quieter. I don’t think I’m being loud but nonetheless I try to be consciously aware of it. However, once I am in the middle of talking I am not thinking about that so it happens.
I honestly try and it is frustrating to me that they keep on me about it and I can’t fix it.
ETA: the funny thing about this is that anyone outside of my family will tell you that I have too soft of a voice. Coworkers think my dh is nuts when he tells them I am too loud. So I don’t know if when I am around my family I am more at ease and it happens. I don’t get it.
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tanya2
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Post by tanya2 on May 21, 2020 2:36:46 GMT
omg my dh does this too! and the more passionate he gets about a topic (usually the news!) the louder he gets, until he's practically shouting
and yes I do think he has hearing loss but he refuses to get tested for it
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on May 21, 2020 2:41:06 GMT
Ha! My mom has a loud voice. Many people find that a wonderful, enthusiastic, engaging quality about her.
During this time at home my kids have realized that dh always gets food on his face when he eats. 🤪
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Post by pierkiss on May 21, 2020 2:41:24 GMT
I don’t know but my eldest daughter is one of the loudest people I know. She is always yelling everything. She says she doesn’t realize it. We have had her hearing tested at the pediatrician and school so many times. Always comes back in normal range. It’s driving us absolutely bonkers.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 2:41:44 GMT
No hearing list but my family thinks I do.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 21, 2020 5:17:28 GMT
I am also loud and really appreciate the reminder to lower the volume. Though now we are at home though, I have to be loud so hubby can hear me since he has hearing problems. So maybe if you sit hubby down and talk to him about it and let him know you want to help, the two of you can come up with a special signal to remind him to reduce the volume. It could be a hand signal or a special blink, whatever. That way it is a mutual thing the two of you are working on together.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 21, 2020 5:29:00 GMT
I am very quiet (or at least soft spoken) and my husband is also LOUD. I will often just say "ssshhh you are being loud" or "lower your voice" as a gentle reminder to, well, lower his voice. Usually it works very well, other times he finds it annoying.
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hannahruth
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Post by hannahruth on May 21, 2020 6:06:52 GMT
Does he have poor hearing? People who are hard of hearing will talk louder. My thoughts exactly - I would suggest a hearing test. |
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RedSquirrelUK
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 21, 2020 7:56:35 GMT
Mine spends most of his day talking on his headset, and he's bellowing when he takes it off. I agree, it's annoying. I put a hand on his arm, give him a smile and say softly "I'm right here". Sometimes I add "and I have got my hearing aids in".
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peabrain
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Post by peabrain on May 21, 2020 11:56:07 GMT
My dh is really loud too. He talks loud sometimes and he blows his nose so freakin loud I think the neighbors wonder what the hell.
I use a little hand gesture to signal that it's loud. (It's not one finger, it's like fingers are coming together as in close or quiet?) Sometime I whisper "inside voice". The hand gesture doesn't seem to interrupt the conversation as much as me saying "inside voice".
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 21, 2020 11:58:53 GMT
You can tell him, but do it the way you would want him to tell you one of your faults. You wouldn't like having your itty bitty feelings hurt either.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 21, 2020 12:00:17 GMT
My dh is really loud too. He talks loud sometimes and he blows his nose so freakin loud I think the neighbors wonder what the hell. I use a little hand gesture to signal that it's loud. (It's not one finger, it's like fingers are coming together as in close or quiet?) Sometime I whisper "inside voice". The hand gesture doesn't seem to interrupt the conversation as much as me saying "inside voice". Is your hand gesture like Ross's on Friends??? |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 21, 2020 13:07:00 GMT
My DD is very loud and has been since day 1. I don't know how to get someone to lower their volume. Sometimes I do say something to her. If she's getting really loud.
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RedSquirrelUK
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 21, 2020 13:42:04 GMT
My DD is very loud and has been since day 1. I don't know how to get someone to lower their volume. Sometimes I do say something to her. If she's getting really loud. I had a colleague who would shout. A dear friend and colleague shared with me how to handle it, which was instead of instinctively raising your voice to match the shouter, to hear them out without interrupting, even with little noises, and reply more and more quietly. Empathetic people will copy you and quieten down too, without realising why. And blow me down, it worked. |
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Post by peachiceteas on May 21, 2020 13:44:22 GMT
This must be something new, right? Otherwise it would be something you just accept as part of the man you love, like how he probably accepts many of your faults.
If it's a recent development, it's very possible he's losing his hearing and would too agree with the idea that perhaps he needs a hearing test.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on May 21, 2020 14:05:29 GMT
We are a loud family. We have a hand gesture and we kindly say "you can lower your voice a little" when we find we are blowing ourselves out of the room.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 14:14:56 GMT
HaHa! My DH is a pastor and since the shelter at home he has been live streaming daily videos of encouragement. Problems are: 1. He doesn't have a designated place to work in our house and wanders around working wherever - so we never know what space to steer clear from 2. He live streams without warning so we are often walking in to the video or starting a conversation or something 3. He is a LOUD talker. LOL. It has been a long stretch of a lot of unexpected for this wife who likes order, consistency and planning. LOL. Every day is an adventure here!! Now to keep him out of my comfy reading/studying spot.  |
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Post by Monica* on May 21, 2020 14:27:40 GMT
I am naturally quiet with a voice that does not carry. DH, on the other hand, has been loud and proud since birth. They don't call him "microphone Mike" for nothing.
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peabrain
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Post by peabrain on May 21, 2020 14:30:13 GMT
Is your hand gesture like Ross's on Friends??? Ha! I had forgotten that one!  |
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milocat
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Post by milocat on May 21, 2020 14:56:06 GMT
DD19 is incredibly loud, she almost shouts. Even when she's not worked up and shouting, which is often. DH isn't a loud talker but he's a loud person, clomping and banging everything is so loud.
I asked DD16 if she has been washing up, brushing her teeth at night because she hasn't been doing it while I'm awake. She said yes, you don't hear me? I try to be quiet. The bathroom is right next to our room. That's how you do things.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 21, 2020 16:06:54 GMT
HaHa! My DH is a pastor and since the shelter at home he has been live streaming daily videos of encouragement. Problems are: 1. He doesn't have a designated place to work in our house and wanders around working wherever - so we never know what space to steer clear from 2. He live streams without warning so we are often walking in to the video or starting a conversation or something 3. He is a LOUD talker. LOL. It has been a long stretch of a lot of unexpected for this wife who likes order, consistency and planning. LOL. Every day is an adventure here!! Now to keep him out of my comfy reading/studying spot. Oh, I would hate never knowing if I was going to walk into a roaming live video! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 16:21:02 GMT
This must be something new, right? Otherwise it would be something you just accept as part of the man you love, like how he probably accepts many of your faults. If it's a recent development, it's very possible he's losing his hearing and would too agree with the idea that perhaps he needs a hearing test. Recent development as in I have been trapped with him for months and it really never bothered me before. |
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Post by maryland on May 21, 2020 17:09:15 GMT
My husband is loud too, but doesn't speak loudly. I can't hear him most of the time. He knows I have trouble hearing and need him to face me when I talk, but he never does, then he gets mad when I can't hear him. I don't know how people who are hard of hearing do it.
But he is very loud with the tv, tapping constantly, etc. So frustrating.
He says I am a loud talker.
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casii
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Post by casii on May 21, 2020 17:15:43 GMT
Some people are just louder I think. DH works from home anyway and when he comes out of his office finally, I'll have to remind him to go back to his indoor voice.
But man, he's just loud in general. I literally rolled out of bed this morning because he started doing these long sighs. At 4:45 a.m. Then he went for a run, slamming the door behind him. When he came back, he's slamming and banging and makes the world's loudest smoothie and I swear he walks like he's wearing heavy weights, so much stomping. All while singing. Lord help.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 17:16:04 GMT
Sounds like he may be becoming hard of hearing. He probably has no idea he is talking loud. Can you get him in for a hearing test? He may need hearing aids.
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Post by 950nancy on May 21, 2020 17:55:38 GMT
My husband has spent the last few days getting my son's yard ready for sod. This includes replumbing parts of a neglected (vintage?) sprinkler system. It has really been nice for him to get out of the house and have something constructive to do. I have enjoyed the time to myself also.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2020 18:03:11 GMT
Sounds like he may be becoming hard of hearing. He probably has no idea he is talking loud. Can you get him in for a hearing test? He may need hearing aids. No he is not hard of hearing. |
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