If you accidentally hit your sibling's car...

I'd offer it to my brother. I probably would not take it from him or file a claim that involved him unless the car wasn't drivable.


My guess is that since you had to type out all the cleaning stuff before you even got to the question, this is less about the car and is more about something else for one or both of you

I wonder if he even has insurance?
I don't think you are out of line to expect him to do whatever is necessary to fix the car especially since it is a lease.

If he lives there he should be cleaning the house.

As for the dent, I certainly wouldn’t yell at my sibling about it. I would probably try to repair it without going through insurance though, if possible. With it being a leased car it isn’t something you can just let you - you either have to repair it now or pay when you turn in the car. In my family, my brother would bend over backwards to pay it before I even asked, my older sister would offer to pay or pay my deductible, my younger sister would say she’d pay then never bring it up again and hope you forget about it.

This is exactly what I would do. You asked him for the information and he went nuts. Let the insurance company deal with him.

I accidentally backed into my mother in laws car right after we moved here. She came over to babysit, and parked her car on the far side of our driveway (we have a turn around pad thingy). My husband and I got into the car, and he was bugging me with questions and comments, so I was pretty distracted. I backed out of the garage and completely forgot my mother in laws car was there. Didn’t even bother to look in the mirror or the backup camera! 😣. Bam! Hit the car. I smushed up my bumper and knocked a hole into the side of her car. I was not driving super fast when I backed out of the garage, so the damage surprised me.

We exchanged insurances right then and there. Had a tiny giggle because we use the same insurance guy/company. They thought it was funny the next morning, and they said it’s actually pretty common to hear about family members actually smashing up their own cars.

There was no hesitation for either of us to give insurance info. This is exactly why we have car insurance. I pay a lot for mine, and I have always used it as needed. If my in laws had hit me I would have requested their info as well. The only reason I can come up with your brother being so weird about it would be because he doesn’t have car insurance.

I would probably tell my insurance who hit me in your shoes. We’ve had to deal with our car after a hit and run, and insurance didn’t cover as much as we thought they would. I think we had to still pay our deductible, whereas if you know who hit you they cover your deductible (maybe this varies based on state-that accident happened in VA). Also, I don’t like lying to people and companies I do business with. I would be paranoid they would find out and that there would be consequences for me.

I agree. The cops would write a report and you would give that to insurance. As it is now, he can deny he did it and you can't prove that he did. 

Stop engaging with your brother about it and turn it all over to your insurance agent.

It's not personal, it's insurance. You aren't asking for his first born son.

You already have a broken relationship and I feel like since he has already made an issue of this, it isn't something that he is suddenly going to forgive-forget-let drop even if you are bullied into not filing a report with your insurance.

You have two options - pay it out of your pocket or file with your insurance. I don't think the first one is going to repair what seems like an already broken relationship.

ETA: I know he is your brother, but what type of relationship do you expect or hope to have with him after your mom passes? Do you think it is going to be better or worse (not counting this incident)? 

Call your agent and let them deal with it. He’s an ass. I wouldn’t send him a check for dinner either.

Tell your insurance what happened, give them your brothers contact information, vehicle information (make/model/plate number) and the names of all witnesses.

Or pay for the repair yourself and don't make an insurance claim. Don't report anything to your insurance unless you plan to be truthful and, yes, they will contact your brother for his insurance information. 

DS took DD's bumper off in our driveway (because he was paying attention to making sure he didn't take out a plant on the other side  ) and we paid for the repair ourselves. 

Ditto - he may prefer to pay the cost in full rather than having insurance involved.  That's what we did when my mom backed my car into my mailbox.

Or, based on your post, he may be an ass and say he's not paying for it.  In which case then I'd take the advice to have your insurance company get involved and handle it.

No decent person would hesitate to give their insurance info for an accident they caused. You already know that. Just like you know your brother is not a decent person.

My question is why you expected him to do the right thing? To say nothing of why you continue to interact with him beyond the bare minimum?

Abusers like this will a!ways find a way to abuse their targets. You are his target. He is Always going to find a way to abuse you. If it was not the car, I can guarantee you it would have been something else.

A!so.... Did anyone witness the actual hit? If not, you may get nothing from your insurance if your brother denies it. They are probably not going to do paint sample analysis (assuming his car left paint on yours) for an accident like this.