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Post by leannec on Jul 7, 2020 14:56:06 GMT
Comments/advice are welcome -- do you have a guaranteed "line" other than "Hi, I'm Jessica?" Apparently introductions just don't work for me! I would give him one more chance if you think he is cute ... my fav question is: Tell me something surprising about yourself. I've got some really great answers with that one
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Post by leannec on Jul 7, 2020 15:00:09 GMT
Saw FWB a couple of days ago which was nice but that's going nowhere What do you mean, 'going nowhere'? Are you looking for a long-term relationship? Not really ... but I'm not opposed either ... hell, I don't know what I want! FWB is so much fun but there is a laundry list of reasons why we can't be together ... the fact that he is a clean freak is one ... I'm The World's Worst Housekeeper
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 7, 2020 16:05:15 GMT
Observed on Tinder: Man with just one photo in his profile. ONE. He’s obviously wearing work clothes, and the photo is nearly full body. He has a HOLE in the crotch of his pants. Not like a revealing / sleazy hole, just a large tear near his zipper. WTAF? I’d kinda hoped his profile would say something about needing a seamstress, but it was empty. Adding to my list of hard left swipes: holes in the genital region of pants. I don't know if I would have noticed the hole, if I were looking at the app on my phone, because the images are so much smaller. I use my phone too, it was very obvious. I wasn’t scrutinizing closely.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 8, 2020 5:45:05 GMT
Thank you, everyone! I agree, the definitiveness that he showed to shit that convo down makes me hesitant to keep that going. He's cute, but not that cute. Also thanks for the ideas about different questions -- these are good. Hopefully I remember them next time I dare swipe right!
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Post by mrssmith on Jul 8, 2020 20:25:46 GMT
Okay, so here's a real-time question. I matched with a guy on bumble and due to my inability to think of a great opening line, I took something from his profile (big movie fan) and said "okay I'm Jessica, blah blah blah, what's your favorite movie genre?" I figure that's a pretty safe topic, as some movie fans don't necessarily have just one favorite movie and it would likely spur some further conversation. He responded back with "I don't like to pigeonhole movies by genre as there are good and bad films in all of them. I pretty much like them all." No further question to take the conversation elsewhere, not even a "Hi Jessica" after that. I hate online dating because over message, the convos get stilted pretty fast. At least in person it's easier to read signs to be able to pivot to another topic but I'm left thinking "okay, what now?" I guess I could weed him out pretty quickly with the age-old question of "so do you wear a mask?" but I'm trying to be more patient and show more grace than with the last guy I went on a date with. Comments/advice are welcome -- do you have a guaranteed "line" other than "Hi, I'm Jessica?" Apparently introductions just don't work for me! that made me crazy. I had a couple of conversations (and I use that term loosely) with guys where I really had to be the one driving it forward. After a couple of back & forths (me asking questions, them answering but never asking anything about me), I stopped replying. Quit even sooner going forward. I like a good conversationalist, even if it's in writing. The guy I did meet through Match messaged me first with questions about several things in my profile. *That's* what I was looking for.
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Post by Jessica on Jul 9, 2020 1:58:19 GMT
mrssmith EXACTLY. Thank you. Okay. I didn't respond. And I also realized he still has the option to keep messaging me, and he hasn't, so that says something as well. (But, duh, I'm a freaking delight! How could he not?!) LOL 😆 🤣
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,034
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Jul 9, 2020 3:01:32 GMT
I had a socially distanced date with the man I went out with a few times before I met my ex. It was very pleasant and we have a lot in common. He is not unattractive but there is no instant attraction. I'm kind of willing myself to like him, which isn't good. He is texting me right now as I write this.
I think tomorrow I'll try to contact a few guys on dating sites. The whole process is so exhausting, though. I find so few of them attractive.
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Post by leannec on Jul 9, 2020 3:19:22 GMT
I think tomorrow I'll try to contact a few guys on dating sites. The whole process is so exhausting, though. I find so few of them attractive. I agree ... especially on POF and Match ... Bumble is better but it is still a crapshoot ... sigh!
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Post by Jessica on Jul 9, 2020 5:04:18 GMT
Oh. My. God. Here is another one for you...
My ex-boyfriend has been texting me. (He's getting married *ON MONDAY* to another woman named Jessica. We won't dig far into that one. (😬) However, I recently got a new job and we now work closely together...I know, I know...BUT...it needed to happen for my own career.)
Tonight after weeks of flirting, etc., etc., (and etc.), he admitted that he "made a mistake getting engaged."
NOW. In no way do I want to get back together. But I've almost turned into the counselor because I work literally next door and I know him better than anyone else. I just started our last convo with "well, if we had actually communicated and you told me that someone who did outdoors things with you was more important than the soul connection we had, things may have been different."
There is really no "what would the peas do" with this one, it's obvious, but my god, its still a bit heartbreaking because with all of our faults, he said no to me, said yes to this girl, but has been seeking me out to make him feel better about it all. Sigh.
This made me tired today.
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Post by leannec on Jul 9, 2020 7:36:07 GMT
There is really no "what would the peas do" with this one, it's obvious, but my god, its still a bit heartbreaking because with all of our faults, he said no to me, said yes to this girl, but has been seeking me out to make him feel better about it all. Sigh. This made me tired today. Don't let him drag you down with his issues ... it will make you crazy Big hugs to you
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 9, 2020 11:17:45 GMT
Oh. My. God. Here is another one for you... My ex-boyfriend has been texting me. (He's getting married *ON MONDAY* to another woman named Jessica. We won't dig far into that one. (😬) However, I recently got a new job and we now work closely together...I know, I know...BUT...it needed to happen for my own career.) Tonight after weeks of flirting, etc., etc., (and etc.), he admitted that he "made a mistake getting engaged." NOW. In no way do I want to get back together. But I've almost turned into the counselor because I work literally next door and I know him better than anyone else. I just started our last convo with "well, if we had actually communicated and you told me that someone who did outdoors things with you was more important than the soul connection we had, things may have been different." There is really no "what would the peas do" with this one, it's obvious, but my god, its still a bit heartbreaking because with all of our faults, he said no to me, said yes to this girl, but has been seeking me out to make him feel better about it all. Sigh. This made me tired today. Sounds like you’re better off without him, he sounds like a cheater in the making!
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Post by Jessica on Jul 9, 2020 13:15:52 GMT
leannec and ashley, thank you!! It's exactly what I keep needing to hear.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 9, 2020 13:17:48 GMT
leannec and ashley, thank you!! It's exactly what I keep needing to hear. There are better men out there! Anyone who’s flirting and admitting he shouldn’t be engaged, while being engaged to another woman, is a man with no decent morals or boundaries. He’s shown you who he is, and he is not someone who deserves you.
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 9, 2020 13:21:57 GMT
Oh. My. God. Here is another one for you... My ex-boyfriend has been texting me. (He's getting married *ON MONDAY* to another woman named Jessica. We won't dig far into that one. (😬) However, I recently got a new job and we now work closely together...I know, I know...BUT...it needed to happen for my own career.) Tonight after weeks of flirting, etc., etc., (and etc.), he admitted that he "made a mistake getting engaged." NOW. In no way do I want to get back together. But I've almost turned into the counselor because I work literally next door and I know him better than anyone else. I just started our last convo with "well, if we had actually communicated and you told me that someone who did outdoors things with you was more important than the soul connection we had, things may have been different." There is really no "what would the peas do" with this one, it's obvious, but my god, its still a bit heartbreaking because with all of our faults, he said no to me, said yes to this girl, but has been seeking me out to make him feel better about it all. Sigh. This made me tired today. Sounds like you’re better off without him, he sounds like a cheater in the making! Yes you totally dodged a bullet there. Emotionally immature and looking to others to always fix everything. Yuck. Aussie Mistake Man has been on his best behavior, in addition to ice cream delivery he offered his gym pass at his apartments (we were discussing working out, not that I ever actually do). He wanted to go to dinner last night and honestly I would have but it was a friends last night in Korea. And tonight he wanted me to come over but I said I’d wait for Saturday when we are going to dinner. I am at FWB place instead. I will probably not be able to resist going home with him, but I don't really want to resist anyway so there is that. Thats the problem with him, he is so charming and sexy and comes on strong, wants to see me every day...then disappears for two weeks. Then does it again. I told him before I wasn’t a fan of that, and he promised he wouldn’t, then he did again and I told him off. So...can he actually change? Guess I will see. I
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Post by leannec on Jul 9, 2020 13:33:17 GMT
Aussie Mistake Man has been on his best behavior, in addition to ice cream delivery he offered his gym pass at his apartments (we were discussing working out, not that I ever actually do). He wanted to go to dinner last night and honestly I would have but it was a friends last night in Korea. And tonight he wanted me to come over but I said I’d wait for Saturday when we are going to dinner. I am at FWB place instead. I will probably not be able to resist going home with him, but I don't really want to resist anyway so there is that. Thats the problem with him, he is so charming and sexy and comes on strong, wants to see me every day...then disappears for two weeks. Then does it again. I told him before I wasn’t a fan of that, and he promised he wouldn’t, then he did again and I told him off. So...can he actually change? Guess I will see. I I'd give him one chance but if he disappears for two weeks again drop him ... not worth it no matter how cute he is
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Post by leannec on Jul 9, 2020 23:05:38 GMT
Well, I went on an actual date this afternoon for the first time in forever His name is Jack, he's 41 and I met him on Bumble ... we sat on the patio of my fav restaurant for a couple of hours and it was really nice ... I'm not sure if I'm totally into him but the conversation was good and he was interesting so I'm willing to see him again I've also met another guy on Bumble ... his name is Daryl and he also wants to go on an old fashioned date next week ... I'm looking forward to meeting him
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Post by Jessica on Jul 10, 2020 0:43:32 GMT
Thanks to all of you ladies. You are saying things that are true and absolutely spot on. I was throwing myself a mini pity party and was forgetting that our relationship had different problems of its own. Yesterday completely re-emphasized why we were not right for each other and today was a breath of fresh air for me. I'm now working off a good mad by cleaning my house but wanted to tell you all thank you.
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 10, 2020 0:57:21 GMT
Thanks to all of you ladies. You are saying things that are true and absolutely spot on. I was throwing myself a mini pity party and was forgetting that our relationship had different problems of its own. Yesterday completely re-emphasized why we were not right for each other and today was a breath of fresh air for me. I'm now working off a good mad by cleaning my house but wanted to tell you all thank you. Glad you are feeling better! This thread is so nice to have isn’t it? The bulk of my friends are married, or are very conservative so we aren’t dishing about one night stands 😂. It’s nice to have a place to talk to women doing the same things- dating, meeting people, etc.
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 10, 2020 1:25:12 GMT
Well, I went on an actual date this afternoon for the first time in forever I want to go on an actual date! I mean I love spending time with FWB, but I want more.
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Post by leannec on Jul 10, 2020 2:28:11 GMT
Well, I went on an actual date this afternoon for the first time in forever I want to go on an actual date! I mean I love spending time with FWB, but I want more. Exactly! Now that things have opened up a bit here it was the perfect time for me ... it was refreshing
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