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Post by leannec on Jul 4, 2020 12:33:36 GMT
Hey ladies! Not a lot to report this week I'm afraid  Saw FWB a couple of days ago which was nice but that's going nowhere  I still text with Rob pretty much everyday ... when I'm going to finally meet this dude I don't know ... sigh! I'll be seeing Raj this week which makes me happy ... he's super nice ... of course, no future in that one either because of cultural differences  I've found that I'm really just content to wait for whatever happens ... I'm not in any hurry ... I'm enjoying my freedom  What is new with you? I love when you ladies respond so I don't feel like I'm the only one posting on this thread  |
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 4, 2020 12:39:52 GMT
I'm just seeing my FWB and he's in the Keys right now, but will fly out tonight. So Tuesday it's on! No new dating going on, yet!
There is an assistant manager in grocery store that I'm kind of interested in. He looks a bit younger and I have no clue about his situation- married or gf?
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Post by leannec on Jul 4, 2020 12:44:09 GMT
He looks a bit younger and I have no clue about his situation- married or gf? Does he wear a ring? That doesn't necessarily mean anything ... ex didn't wear one because it never fit ... but it's a start  |
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123 
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Post by rickmer on Jul 4, 2020 12:47:49 GMT
my new(ish) guy has been staying over one night each week i don't have the kids... but i live on a busy street with my room at the front of the house, sleep with a fan and have a slant in the ceiling over the bed that makes him claustrophobic. so he doesn't sleep well here at all.
maybe it will taking getting used to - it took me a while with the noise from the street (thus the fan, which i will turn off next time).
i really like his company... but damn, who knew dating at this age would be an hour here, couple of hours there, sleepover but leave at 10am.... we see each other 5-6 times per week but i just wanna HANG OUT you know???
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Post by leannec on Jul 4, 2020 13:01:56 GMT
i really like his company... but damn, who knew dating at this age would be an hour here, couple of hours there, sleepover but leave at 10am.... we see each other 5-6 times per week but i just wanna HANG OUT you know??? I hear you! I'm totally experiencing the couple of hours here and there ... when will things be normal  |
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 4, 2020 13:08:17 GMT
I am a bizarrely socially awkward person and told the Aussie I’m in quarantine until next week to give me time to think 😂 But I am really looking forward to seeing him, which is probably bad.
Ladies. He is just absolutely dishy!! AND CLEVER.
And he has apologized a bunch and is really being lovely, sent delivery ice cream (which since I’m not actually quarantined anymore I felt a little bad about 😂).
Eh, it’s really fun.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 4, 2020 16:58:08 GMT
Nothing too exciting going on with me. I still haven’t met up with anyone in person.
I’ve met some guys online but they seem to slowly die off when I’m not able or willing to meet up within a week.
One recent match seemed like he had potential... similar tastes and interests and we seemed to have similar life and relationship goals. We texted for a couple days and last night he asked if we could talk on the phone. It was already late so I said yes but only for 20 min because I would need to go to bed soon. Omg, I am so glad I set that 20 min limit — he talked the entire time! I honestly said hi and maybe one other thing and he just talked and talked and talked. Even when I tried to interject or say anything he’d just talk right over me. It was horrible. He told me all about the court battle he’s in with his ex, but when he got to the part about aliens living under the ocean I knew I was done.
This has convinced me a phone call is a good second step after texting for a while.
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Post by leannec on Jul 4, 2020 17:11:55 GMT
He told me all about the court battle he’s in with his ex, but when he got to the part about aliens living under the ocean I knew I was done. This has convinced me a phone call is a good second step after texting for a while. OMG!  Bwhahahahahahaha!!!! Weirdo. Good call with the phone call  |
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Post by Lexica on Jul 4, 2020 18:04:07 GMT
Nothing too exciting going on with me. I still haven’t met up with anyone in person. I’ve met some guys online but they seem to slowly die off when I’m not able or willing to meet up within a week. One recent match seemed like he had potential... similar tastes and interests and we seemed to have similar life and relationship goals. We texted for a couple days and last night he asked if we could talk on the phone. It was already late so I said yes but only for 20 min because I would need to go to bed soon. Omg, I am so glad I set that 20 min limit — he talked the entire time! I honestly said hi and maybe one other thing and he just talked and talked and talked. Even when I tried to interject or say anything he’d just talk right over me. It was horrible. He told me all about the court battle he’s in with his ex, but when he got to the part about aliens living under the ocean I knew I was done. This has convinced me a phone call is a good second step after texting for a while. Now this would have made me want to stay on the phone to listen longer! I hate court battle talk and one person trashing the other as if they have no bad habits or responsibility for their divorce. But I could listen to an interesting out-there belief like aliens under the ocean for ages. That's entertainment! At least you now know not to waste your time meeting him in person. |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 4, 2020 23:34:55 GMT
Well, this afternoon I spent four hours on the phone with someone! I am sure I haven’t spent that long on the phone in decades. It was nice talking to someone so easily and not hearing anything crazy. lol
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 4, 2020 23:53:47 GMT
Im impressed y’all talk on the phone. I require telling me before hand you are calling (unless it’s like- pressing) and always explain chances are zero I’m going to answer if you just call me out of nowhere. I need to be mentally prepared ahead of time, kind of like a date. I don’t have a phone phobia exactly but I don’t really like talking on the phone.
Come to think of it I’m surprised men want to date me 😂
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 5, 2020 0:11:42 GMT
I hate talking on the phone! I don’t answer if I don’t know who it is and I don’t ever just call up friends. These phone dates are just a way of screening men... I didn’t really ever do it before the pandemic.
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Post by leannec on Jul 5, 2020 0:20:38 GMT
Well, this afternoon I spent four hours on the phone with someone! I am sure I haven’t spent that long on the phone in decades. It was nice talking to someone so easily and not hearing anything crazy. lol Yay!!!  |
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 5, 2020 0:33:42 GMT
He looks a bit younger and I have no clue about his situation- married or gf? Does he wear a ring? That doesn't necessarily mean anything ... ex didn't wear one because it never fit ... but it's a start I know I need to look! |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 5, 2020 13:20:32 GMT
Hahah, so this guy online just mansplained to me that he wasn’t actually mainsplaining how to grow weed to me. I can’t roll my eyes enough. When he started telling me about how weed can’t be grown outdoors and my plants “obvioisly” were autoflower I got a little twitchy. So relieved to know he wasn’t mansplaining to me!
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Post by leannec on Jul 5, 2020 15:09:13 GMT
I don't really like talking on the phone at all either ... the only two people I really do it with is my mum and FWB ... my mum refuses to learn how to text and FWB just likes to talk on the phone  We do text as well ... When I meet someone online and we text I ask some pretty specific questions ... basically the same stuff I would ask during a phone conversation ... A friend of mine did decide not to meetup with a guy she had been texting after speaking to him on the phone ... they texted for quite some time but once she heard his voice she knew she could never date him ... he sounded about 15 years old with a weird accent ... it was strange  |
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Post by leannec on Jul 6, 2020 19:53:17 GMT
Just bumping the thread My only news is that FWB is in Ontario this week and so I didn't expect to hear from him for awhile ... usually we speak on the phone everyday ... he lasted three days and then phoned me today  ... and then he was bored and texted me ... yup, he misses me |
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Post by mrssmith on Jul 6, 2020 20:13:20 GMT
i really like his company... but damn, who knew dating at this age would be an hour here, couple of hours there, sleepover but leave at 10am.... we see each other 5-6 times per week but i just wanna HANG OUT you know??? Yup! I see my boyfriend when I don't have the kids (although they are meeting on Friday), so sometimes it's 8 days in between. But then we'll spend whole weekends together! Feast or famine! His kids are older at least so we don't have to juggle two child custody schedules. |
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 6, 2020 21:23:43 GMT
Nothing too exciting going on with me. I still haven’t met up with anyone in person. I’ve met some guys online but they seem to slowly die off when I’m not able or willing to meet up within a week. One recent match seemed like he had potential... similar tastes and interests and we seemed to have similar life and relationship goals. We texted for a couple days and last night he asked if we could talk on the phone. It was already late so I said yes but only for 20 min because I would need to go to bed soon. Omg, I am so glad I set that 20 min limit — he talked the entire time! I honestly said hi and maybe one other thing and he just talked and talked and talked. Even when I tried to interject or say anything he’d just talk right over me. It was horrible. He told me all about the court battle he’s in with his ex, but when he got to the part about aliens living under the ocean I knew I was done. This has convinced me a phone call is a good second step after texting for a while. I am always hoping for the best for you, Ashley, but the court talk might have been too much for me. I don't even know if I would have gotten to the aliens. But I am glad you did. At least you aren't wasting any more time on him. |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 6, 2020 21:41:09 GMT
950nancy, I was done midway through the court drama, that man just wouldn’t stop talking every time I tried. I honestly almost just hung up on him! Instead I just watched my clock and waited out the 20 min I’d promised him. And cheers to unwasted time ahead.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 6, 2020 21:55:52 GMT
950nancy , I was done midway through the court drama, that man just wouldn’t stop talking every time I tried. I honestly almost just hung up on him! Instead I just watched my clock and waited out the 20 min I’d promised him. And cheers to unwasted time ahead.  I watched my coworker try to navigate online dating for about 13 years (not even with Covid). She did have great stories. Not what she was looking for, but every few months she would have a GREAT story. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't known her so well. Keep looking! |
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Post by socalscrapper on Jul 7, 2020 4:23:57 GMT
Just checking in. I met someone really close by. We’ve texted and talked on the phone. He lives here in my neighborhood and sounds completely NORMAL! Hopefully we’ll meet soon. We have so much in common. I’m hopeful.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
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Post by rickmer on Jul 7, 2020 13:16:06 GMT
Yup! I see my boyfriend when I don't have the kids (although they are meeting on Friday), so sometimes it's 8 days in between. But then we'll spend whole weekends together! Feast or famine! His kids are older at least so we don't have to juggle two child custody schedules. honestly, i would be great with this. i have my kids every second week but his didn't go back to university this year. she has some health issues and he worries about her a lot. he doesn't feel comfortable leaving her for days at a time. i think this is a great way to get to know each other "for real" (hard to keep up a facade for 24 hrs day all weekend) while still managing your own lives. good luck with him meeting the kids!!! |
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Post by Jessica on Jul 7, 2020 13:31:42 GMT
Okay, so here's a real-time question. I matched with a guy on bumble and due to my inability to think of a great opening line, I took something from his profile (big movie fan) and said "okay I'm Jessica, blah blah blah, what's your favorite movie genre?" I figure that's a pretty safe topic, as some movie fans don't necessarily have just one favorite movie and it would likely spur some further conversation.
He responded back with "I don't like to pigeonhole movies by genre as there are good and bad films in all of them. I pretty much like them all."
No further question to take the conversation elsewhere, not even a "Hi Jessica" after that.
I hate online dating because over message, the convos get stilted pretty fast. At least in person it's easier to read signs to be able to pivot to another topic but I'm left thinking "okay, what now?"
I guess I could weed him out pretty quickly with the age-old question of "so do you wear a mask?" but I'm trying to be more patient and show more grace than with the last guy I went on a date with.
Comments/advice are welcome -- do you have a guaranteed "line" other than "Hi, I'm Jessica?" Apparently introductions just don't work for me!
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 7, 2020 13:35:22 GMT
Okay, so here's a real-time question. I matched with a guy on bumble and due to my inability to think of a great opening line, I took something from his profile (big movie fan) and said "okay I'm Jessica, blah blah blah, what's your favorite movie genre?" I figure that's a pretty safe topic, as some movie fans don't necessarily have just one favorite movie and it would likely spur some further conversation. He responded back with "I don't like to pigeonhole movies by genre as there are good and bad films in all of them. I pretty much like them all." No further question to take the conversation elsewhere, not even a "Hi Jessica" after that. I hate online dating because over message, the convos get stilted pretty fast. At least in person it's easier to read signs to be able to pivot to another topic but I'm left thinking "okay, what now?" I guess I could weed him out pretty quickly with the age-old question of "so do you wear a mask?" but I'm trying to be more patient and show more grace than with the last guy I went on a date with. Comments/advice are welcome -- do you have a guaranteed "line" other than "Hi, I'm Jessica?" Apparently introductions just don't work for me! some men seem to disregard conversational protocols. I might try again with something generic — what’s going on today, have you done anything interesting lately, what was the last good dinner you made — but his tone from the one answer would probably turn me off asking much more tbh. |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Jul 7, 2020 13:37:55 GMT
Observed on Tinder:
Man with just one photo in his profile. ONE. He’s obviously wearing work clothes, and the photo is nearly full body. He has a HOLE in the crotch of his pants. Not like a revealing / sleazy hole, just a large tear near his zipper.
WTAF?
I’d kinda hoped his profile would say something about needing a seamstress, but it was empty.
Adding to my list of hard left swipes: holes in the genital region of pants.
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 7, 2020 13:53:36 GMT
I think the art of messaging strangers takes time to learn, it has for me anyway. I kind of have to “know my audience” I guess and that is usually figured out in the first couple lines. The majority of men here (since I moved out of Seoul) are Americans and not the brightest. That’s fine, but they are not in the “companionship” pool and the witty repartee is going to be lost on them so I adjust. The few potential clever ones I have to gauge- feeling out are they Trumpy (that’s a flat no), interests that mesh, Do they seem squirrelly like there is a wife somewhere, etc. In Seoul it was never Americans so navigating language barriers but managing conversation quality was the focus.
It’s work, really, and not always worth it. Things are good here with the rotation of men for different things they bring so I took down my profiles a couple months ago so no more managing at the moment.
“I like them all” and nothing else is pretty lame, so for me unless he is really hot probably going in the “waste of typing” pile if it were me.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 7, 2020 14:43:43 GMT
Comments/advice are welcome -- do you have a guaranteed "line" other than "Hi, I'm Jessica?" Apparently introductions just don't work for me! I think your opening line is fine. This fellow just had a socially obtuse moment. Or maybe it's his personality... I do sometimes feel like I have no conversational charm/content to contribute. In those moments, I find myself just answering questions, like the dude you mentioned. It usually has been after a longish period of talking/texting with several different people on the dating sites. I just run out of steam, but feel obligated to answer if someone reaches out. I've been talking/meeting with the same person for several months, now. I'm thrilled to say that we have genuinely good conversation almost every time that we interact. Even if I'm feeling sluggish in a social way, he can 'bring me out' of that mood quite easily. It's nice. |
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 7, 2020 14:44:47 GMT
Observed on Tinder: Man with just one photo in his profile. ONE. He’s obviously wearing work clothes, and the photo is nearly full body. He has a HOLE in the crotch of his pants. Not like a revealing / sleazy hole, just a large tear near his zipper. WTAF? I’d kinda hoped his profile would say something about needing a seamstress, but it was empty. Adding to my list of hard left swipes: holes in the genital region of pants. I don't know if I would have noticed the hole, if I were looking at the app on my phone, because the images are so much smaller. |
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 7, 2020 14:46:14 GMT
Saw FWB a couple of days ago which was nice but that's going nowhere What do you mean, 'going nowhere'? Are you looking for a long-term relationship? |
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Bwhahahahahahaha!!!! Weirdo.
We do text as well ...
... and then he was bored and texted me ... yup, he misses me 
