used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,034
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Jul 13, 2020 20:30:31 GMT
Just to be clear... they are not exchange students. They are International students whose parents send them here and pay for them to go to school in the US for high school and then to college. So what’s are exchange students then? What is the difference?
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Post by Mel on Jul 13, 2020 20:35:07 GMT
Studies are showing that yes, you can have it twice and often times the second time is worse. There's just not enough information available to say that once you get it, yo'ure good. This. And not just studies...there are people who are getting it a second time. Given how information about the virus is still in its early stages, I don't blame them for wanting to be rehoused. Besides...it sounds like there are other students who would be interested in living with you, so I don't really see it as a problem. Unless you've tested negative, you might still have the virus, even if your symptoms have decreased. True... Ugh... Covid just needs to LEAVE!
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Post by houstonsandy on Jul 13, 2020 20:52:52 GMT
Just to be clear... they are not exchange students. They are International students whose parents send them here and pay for them to go to school in the US for high school and then to college. So what’s are exchange students then? What is the difference? Exchange students come to attend school for shorter periods of time...perhaps only one semester...and are affiliated with public schools, not private schools. They may have a different type of visa, I'm not sure. The International students come over with an I20 visa and are in private schools, where the parents pay an International rate tuition. They typically are here for most of high school although I have seen them as young as 8th grade.
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Post by megop on Jul 13, 2020 21:01:29 GMT
Try not to take it personally. You ARE doing the right thing for you and others and they are as well for themselves. I know it sucks to perhaps feel like you do, but try to understand they are young and trying as best they can to stay as safe as they possibly can. Take pride in your own efforts and I'm glad you are feeling better.
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Post by silverlining on Jul 13, 2020 21:06:18 GMT
Please remember that the parents in Vietnam are getting completely different information than what we're getting here. I read that Vietnam took very strict measures early on and in late June they were the largest country in the world that had zero COVID deaths. That might have changed now, I don't know. Vietnam is closed to all foreign visitors. So, the parents might be very nervous because the way this was handled in Texas is so different than in Vietnam.
When parents become scared for their children, it's difficult to unscare them. One of the girls might have made an innocent remark about you going into work and the parents have decided that you're careless. I know that seems very unfair. Is it possible that they requested a placement with someone who is not working outside the home at all? I can imagine a scenario where the girls wanted to stay and the parents said only in a home where they're working from home and getting food delivered.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 13, 2020 21:10:36 GMT
I wouldn't take it personally.. times are crazy right now. Things in our own family have changed drastically. My daughter was supposed to get married at the end of June, not the whole wedding is called off. Forever (at this time).. Schools and work are all off normal schedule. Everyone not knowing what is going to happen with their kids. Home? At School? Homeschool? EVERYTHING has changed.. so don't take it personally.. everyone is just doing the best they can. And since they are from another country, their values, news, etc are coming from a totally different place than where we are at. Imagine your kiddo in another country and not being able to be there.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Jul 13, 2020 21:11:38 GMT
please try to look at it from the side of the students and their families. They are in a foreign country - one that's notorious for huge medical bill and has an out of control covid situation This. Absolutely, 100% this. Frankly, I feel it's incredibly irresponsible for any program to be sending minors to the US for an exchange program right now. I mean, unless parents actually *want* their kids to experience what it's like to live in a shitstorm of the Unknown led by the Incompetent. Absolutely. In my Aussie expats groups Australian parents have pulled their kids home from studying here, due to how out of control it is.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 13, 2020 21:16:29 GMT
I am sorry you had COVID and I am also sorry your international kids didn't talk with you. But they are KIDS. I thought you had kids? This is very normal behavior for young kids - either late HS or early college. The kids didn't know how you were going to react and your somewhat OTT reaction here tells me that maybe they had a valid concern? I am not saying this meanly, really I am not, but this is a BUSINESS relationship and I know you feel that you have taken it beyond that, but maybe they do not.
I agree with everyone here that we just don't know enough about COVID to make good judgments. If you did get it from your DD, then all of you are not SIP correctly, are you? That, to me, would be enough reason to pull my child out of your home. It would also make me reconsider using you, if I were the director. It SUCKS what is happening, but when someone else's child's life is at risk, you have to be very, very careful.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,976
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Jul 13, 2020 21:26:30 GMT
I think you have to consider that if your daughter engaged in behavior which exposed her and then exposed you, however innocuous either of you felt that behavior was, it means that they would have been exposed had they been in the home. And so they (or their families) are weighing that information in deciding whether or not it's safe for them to continue to live with you.
This isn't intended to be judgmental - we all make choices every day and weigh the risks of the activities we engage in. I took my family camping last weekend knowing that it was less safe than staying home. Whatever interaction your daughter had with her boyfriend's grandma and whatever behavior the grandma engaged in that exposed her in the first place - it was all a gamble and you all came out on the losing end. I don't know if you all are wearing masks or generally socially distancing except in this one circumstance, whatever is the scenario, these kids and their families are weighing the information they have and doing what they think is best for their continued safety. It's not personal even though it might feel like it.
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Post by bc2ca on Jul 13, 2020 21:31:15 GMT
To be on the safe side, she chose to remain with her cousin until I was well. This sentence from the OP really bothers me. She "chose to remain with her cousin" sounds like you gave her the option of returning to your home while you were sick. This may have triggered the parents and/or girls to ask for a new placement.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,825
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Jul 13, 2020 21:34:16 GMT
There was a doctor this morning that said that those that have had it can easily get it again. The immunities apparently only last for a short time.
It’s sad. I wish they’d get a vaccine out.
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Post by houstonsandy on Jul 13, 2020 22:29:43 GMT
To be on the safe side, she chose to remain with her cousin until I was well. This sentence from the OP really bothers me. She "chose to remain with her cousin" sounds like you gave her the option of returning to your home while you were sick. This may have triggered the parents and/or girls to ask for a new placement. I meant...chose to stay with her cousin as opposed to going to another host family for the interim.... No....coming back here while I was sick was never an option I presented to her.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jul 14, 2020 1:21:15 GMT
I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I'm sure that it feels personal. They've been with you for 2 years and didn't discuss their concerns with you before asking for a new placement? That would be very hurtful. I completely understand why you feel as you do. I think I'd feel the same way.
I hope that new new students who are placed with you are a good fit.
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Post by pjaye on Jul 14, 2020 1:40:52 GMT
I feel betrayed that they would not discuss their concerns with me first I get that you are upset by this, however I can totally see why they wouldn't speak to you, it's a delicate issue and it would take a lot of courage to go to someone you like and say 'I don't feel safe living in your house" You can make all the logical arguments, but part of people's reaction isn't just logical, it's also emotional, most people are scared and/or worried and i don't think any logical argument will sway them at this time. I think you are just going to have to accept this for the moment. Who knows - in the future this may go in your favour if you are shown to have immunity, you might turn out to be the 'safe' option down the track. On a positive note, it's great that you've recovered and are feeling so well.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jul 14, 2020 1:46:49 GMT
I'm surprised at the responses here.
Personally, I would feel safer in your home once you are recovered than I would in the home of someone who hasn't had it. Yes, there may be a chance that people could get it again but I would think that the chances of you getting it again are smaller than a person who hasn't had it yet getting it the first time. Not to mention that you are not the only source of potential exposure in their lives.
I do wonder, though, how the response to the virus is in Vietnam. I am in a FB group with someone who is living in Thailand and she has posted things that indicate some strange responses from the government--such as closing all stores with very little notice, spraying houses with ammonia during the night, etc. I wonder if they are getting some different messages from home regarding people who have had the virus. It doesn't make sense to me logically, but that might be more typical there?
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Post by maryland on Jul 14, 2020 1:49:37 GMT
Yes I am upset. I have opened my house to these girls for over two years. I have been their “family” for 10 months of the year for over two years now. They are like my daughters. I feel betrayed that they would not discuss their concerns with me first. I am a good host mom. They always express how lucky they feel to have me for their host mom. This is not just a business relationship. I care for them greatly. If they are scared to live here then so be it. I don’t want them to be scared. I do wish they had come to me first however. If they are high school age kids, maybe they didn't feel comfortable telling you that they don't want to live with you. They may have been embarrassed or felt guilty. Being young, they may not have enough experience in these matters to go to you first. Maybe cultural differences too in how they are used to handling things?
I hope you feel better and can get new students as soon as it is safe to have them. That's great that you treat these kids like family and it must be hard to feel that they went behind your back. But again, maybe they had good intentions, even though they went about it differently than you hoped they would.
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Post by pjaye on Jul 14, 2020 2:31:56 GMT
Personally, I would feel safer in your home once you are recovered than I would in the home of someone who hasn't had it. Yes, there may be a chance that people could get it again but I would think that the chances of you getting it again are smaller than a person who hasn't had it yet getting it the first time. Not to mention that you are not the only source of potential exposure in their lives. Some virus come back (herpes / chicken pox becomes shingles), some viruses turn people into carriers and while they have no symptoms they can be passing it on to others. Maybe it lies dormant and then reactivates?? This is a new virus, we've only seem it in people for the past 6 months, not enough is known as to exactly what happens with it. As a nurse, I sure wouldn't be setting up house with someone who recently had the virus and has now "recovered". I'd be steering well clear. I get that is probably hard for the person who had it, but we all have to take care of ourselves when it comes to not catching this.
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Post by librarylady on Jul 14, 2020 3:02:36 GMT
houstonsandyI am glad you survived! I think from a cultural point of view--these girls would not confront their "superior"/mother figure. I do understand your hurt. I hope it works out....I think I would just get the new students and let this go. I hope one day they will feel comfortable with actually visiting you and being friendly again. I think others have a point that the parents of these two girls may be behind the thought of leaving.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jul 14, 2020 3:40:22 GMT
pjaye good points about how some viruses can come back or be dormant. I hadn't thought of that and hadn't heard any concerns about that in the news. But, you are right that we just don't know yet.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Jul 14, 2020 4:13:31 GMT
Sandy, I’m glad you’re recovered. You have a good record as a host mom, and once this is all figured out, in due course you will be once again enjoying a good host mom situation.
I agree that in the girls’ culture, they just wouldn’t feel comfortable telling you they were not coming back. It may be that their affection for you itself makes this conversation too uncomfortable for them.
Please focus on recovering your health completely, and maybe being grateful you are not one of the unlucky ones in the hospital on a ventilator.
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Dallie
Full Member
Posts: 490
Feb 25, 2020 16:33:25 GMT
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Post by Dallie on Jul 14, 2020 10:43:53 GMT
There is currently no evidence to support the belief that having Covid gives you immunity.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,768
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 14, 2020 10:59:42 GMT
If my child was in this situation, in another country, I could see myself making the same choice.
Question-you say you’re recovered and ‘There will be time for me to be retested in the meantime.’ Have you been retested yet?
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sueg
Prolific Pea
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Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Jul 14, 2020 11:16:03 GMT
There was a doctor this morning that said that those that have had it can easily get it again. The immunities apparently only last for a short time. It’s sad. I wish they’d get a vaccine out. If immunity only lasts a short time with this virus, that means it is going to be harder to get an effective vaccine. After all, that's what a vaccine does - it 'forces' an immune response by the body.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 14, 2020 11:23:36 GMT
I'm surprised at the responses here. Personally, I would feel safer in your home once you are recovered than I would in the home of someone who hasn't had it. Yes, there may be a chance that people could get it again but I would think that the chances of you getting it again are smaller than a person who hasn't had it yet getting it the first time. Not to mention that you are not the only source of potential exposure in their lives. I do wonder, though, how the response to the virus is in Vietnam. I am in a FB group with someone who is living in Thailand and she has posted things that indicate some strange responses from the government--such as closing all stores with very little notice, spraying houses with ammonia during the night, etc. I wonder if they are getting some different messages from home regarding people who have had the virus. It doesn't make sense to me logically, but that might be more typical there? This is also the way I’ve been responding to this thread. I did know that amount/length of immunity protection is unknown, but like you, I didn’t know about this idea of reinfection. I had read that testing positive after recovering, or testing positive-after-negative, probably indicated lingering-but-not-contagious viral remnants in their body. So, I’m learning. But it makes me wonder how we are gong to view/treat recovered people. This situation involves living together. But considering we’re now being so careful about 10-15 minute sustained, indoor contact, how will we react to the possibility of that contact with a recovered someone in various scenarios - work, school, social, family life? I realize “treated like a leper” is hyperbole and borne of emotion, but this recovered stigma is not something I had previously considered - and while I‘m usually loathe to anthropomorphize COVID - it does seem like just another cruel joke from this virus. OP, I’m sorry for your pain. I’ve been to Vietnam and agree there are cultural communication considerations. And I have also read about Asian countries spraying down buildings and public parks. In western countries, I call all the “deep cleaning” of stores and schools “COVID theatre,” but I think in some Asian countries, there’s a cultural layer about cleaning spaces.
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 14, 2020 13:15:23 GMT
I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had it, and that you are now in this situation. I am ridiculously happy you are recovered from it though! 💖
As a parent, I would not be comfortable sending my children to stay in the home of someone who has had it. I don’t believe the science is there to either back up the claim that you have immunity or to refute it. We simply don’t know for sure yet. But, to be fair, I would not be comfortable sending my children to another country to stay in their home at this moment in time. Especially here, where a good portion of society is not being careful and taking basic precautions to help stop the spread. If it were me, I wouldn’t send my kids over this year. Obviously I don’t understand/know the rules and regulations with skipping a year of study in this program, so I don’t even know if that is a possibility. If it were not, I would absolutely request a different house. I’m sorry. I’m really freaked out by this virus.
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