rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Aug 5, 2020 11:57:34 GMT
i got some quality time with guy i am seeing. i stayed at his place thurs after a nice dinner, hung out fri evening, he picked me up and went for a big long hike in the conservation area saturday morning, had take-out at one of my fave places after. he came back that evening, we watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch and he stayed til mid day the next day!
here's my problem: we can't sleep together. by sleep, i mean actually sleep ladies. i live on a busy street and am a woman of a certain age. i like a fan for white noise/coolness. he prefers absolute silence and because he is bald, finds the fan uncomfortable. my bedroom has a peak so it's lower over my bed. that makes him a bit claustrophobic. he DOESN'T complain... but i can tell he ISN'T sleeping and tossing and turning all night. without the fan i am hot and hear everything, cue the tossing and turning.
i LOVE sleeping with him. i have never been a cuddler. do the romantic stuff and then off to your side of the bed. i actually fall asleep in his arms... but if this does turn into something long term down the road (he jokes about moving in together) are we going to be that couple with separate rooms?? i don't judge. but i also don't want that.
oh, and he is dropping his daughter to my ex's cottage this weekend to hang with my DD and her friends. soooooo..... he could cross paths with ex.... ex has indicated to my DD that he is not ALLOWED to drive his daughter/DD's friend to the cottage because he has heard that he is a "close family friend of your mother's". lol! he owns the road? wth? you can't say that, dumbass!
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Post by alexa11 on Aug 5, 2020 12:30:44 GMT
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Aug 5, 2020 12:34:29 GMT
rickmer... I think sleeping both with a new person and in a new environment take time to adjust to. Do you need the fan blowing on you to cool you off? Or is it just the sound? If you do need it for temperature control would a smaller one help, so he’s less likely to feel it?
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,507
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Aug 5, 2020 12:49:06 GMT
Hey girls! Same ole, same ole with me. Made up with John again. Why can I not just pull the trigger and end it completely??? I seriously need to see my therapist and figure out why I can't just say no.
Sure, 80% of the time we mesh so well and I absolutely love being with him and he treats me so dang good! And of course there's the sex, which is absolutely amazing! But that 20% sure isn't a picnic and it's just personality differences which isn't something likely to change. I also know in my gut this isn't something I can get over and live with.
Now, he's wanting to move in together!?!? WTH, it's only been 5 months. At least I can stand my ground there.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 5, 2020 13:17:08 GMT
6 HOURS?!?! What the heck? You'd think that's an indication of interest. Yes. Although I was also unsure about the physical attraction, I was ready to give a second date a go (thanks Peas!) but after a few days of no discussion I went back to check in and boom! Unmatched. It's okay, I get it, but boo. He was probably scared off because he felt unworthy of your fabulousness
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Post by Jessica on Aug 5, 2020 14:31:58 GMT
sharlag you are now my favorite. And yes, obviously my fabulousness scared him! 😀😘 I have been finding myself swiping right just to swipe right, and then going "oh no, what was I thinking" when I get a match notice. I'm having a mini pity party for myself at the moment (I'll be over it in a few hours) but the quality of men are not what I'm looking for lately. Need to take a break or adjust settings a bit but I cannot be bothered with it today (at least not yet). 😀
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Aug 5, 2020 15:04:32 GMT
sharlag you are now my favorite. And yes, obviously my fabulousness scared him! 😀😘 I have been finding myself swiping right just to swipe right, and then going "oh no, what was I thinking" when I get a match notice. I'm having a mini pity party for myself at the moment (I'll be over it in a few hours) but the quality of men are not what I'm looking for lately. Need to take a break or adjust settings a bit but I cannot be bothered with it today (at least not yet). 😀 When you are unique and rare it takes some time to find someone on your own level.
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Post by leannec on Aug 5, 2020 15:38:54 GMT
Hey rickmer, I think I will have the same fan battle with FWB if he stays with me ... he hates my fan but I love it and I can't sleep without it ... I plan to stand my ground ... he's not bald so he can't use that as an excuse though I say my sleep is the most important thing so dude is going to have to adjust!
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Post by leannec on Aug 5, 2020 15:41:15 GMT
I also know in my gut this isn't something I can get over and live with. Trust your gut ... it won't steer you wrong! Hugs to you
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,660
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Aug 5, 2020 17:36:38 GMT
It isn’t even 7 but home...corona is a hoax. Did you know? Yeah, no, dude. I'm sorry for your disappointing date but this is exactly how I would feel too! and I would've said bye boy and left.
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Post by leannec on Aug 6, 2020 21:42:49 GMT
So this dude from Match just messaged me ... "Hi" ... that's it The thing is he is kind of cute ... do I message back? I usually expect more
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Aug 6, 2020 22:58:37 GMT
I think sleeping both with a new person and in a new environment take time to adjust to. Do you need the fan blowing on you to cool you off? Or is it just the sound? If you do need it for temperature control would a smaller one help, so he’s less likely to feel it? he feels and hears *everything* - i think he has bionic ears and super-sensitive skin?! he suffers from really bad insomnia on a regular basis - so any one thing is a bit "off" and he is done. it must be so challenging... i would be on some serious sleep meds if i were him. i *need* my sleep.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Aug 6, 2020 22:59:49 GMT
So this dude from Match just messaged me ... "Hi" ... that's it The thing is he is kind of cute ... do I message back? I usually expect more i would give him a short message back - a couple of sentences tops. and see what he comes back with. i mean, if he's cute and all.....
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 7, 2020 1:04:58 GMT
Wow that’s a big step! My FWB has a horrid apartment (English teacher, the school provides housing usually and his is dreadful) so he prefers my place. He keeps asking if he can move in, and I think he is serious but like...no way. I love my life alone. Plus he is really messy, so that will bug me. Im doing stupid things, because apparently I do that now. Mistake Aussie messaged me last night, and I should have just ignored it because he is no good for me, but of course I didn’t. He is still with the Fabulous Gemma, barf. He called me- I hate the phone, I never answer the phone, but I picked up for him. Seriously what is wrong with me?! I have an endless capacity to be a moron for this guy I guess. Part of me says stop this immediately, and part of me wants to try and steal him from Fabulous Gemma. It sounds super vain but I am way hotter than her 😂 The dumb thing is I don’t really even want anyone like him- his car is pristine. He dresses amazingly but also fussy. I am not the kind of person who would be with someone with a clean car and fashion sense, I’m just not. If any of you want to fly to Korea and slap some sense into me, feel free. I have a date tonight (rescheduled because of my dog) so maybe that will snap me out of this. Ugh, saw your date update — sorry he was an ignoramous. Generally I’m very pro being sexually liberated and doing what is fun and happy, but I think you know this guy is not actually making you happy. I only say this because I had a situation that went on/off for 15 months and there was always that nagging feeling it wasn’t right... tiny little flags that told me something was off. And I was right. And it was not good for me when I found out how right I really was about those nagging feelings about something being off. So while he was amazing and I’ve said he was my favourite partner I’d had, and on one hand I can’t regret amazing sex and feeling something for someone... I DO regret not listening to that voice that knew there was something amiss. I guess it was a good lesson in listening to myself but it cost me trust and I’m not sure I’ll rebuild that easily, especially since I had very little trust be begin with due to previous deceptions in relationships. I missed this before, but exactly this. Chemistry wise it’s off the charts fabulous, and it’s just nice to really want someone- I never am particularly into anyone. Because this town is stocked with morons, and he isn’t. But he is not a good for me, to him I am only ever going to be a sex partner. And for reasons I can’t quite explain that isn’t enough for me. He is selfish and vain, but I mean he is also incredibly handsome and successful so it makes some sense. I think it’s mainly that he is the thing every woman wants, so I feel like I should too, even though I really don’t.
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Post by leannec on Aug 7, 2020 1:54:52 GMT
I think it’s mainly that he is the thing every woman wants, so I feel like I should too, even though I really don’t. Then he is not for you ... simple as that.
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