breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,316 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Aug 3, 2020 17:31:24 GMT
The other day, I posted we were looking at adopting some guinea pigs. The hold up for me was finding a pet sitter... so I posted on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to apply... a friend on there mentioned she knew someone giving some guinea pigs away. Many messages between my friend, her friend, and the person with the guinea pigs (seriously like a game of telephone) we are now the owner's of two adorable girls.
I never had contact info with the person giving the guinea pigs away... I texted my friend's friend and got the directions from her, when I got there I texted my friend's friend we were in the parking lot, it was a little weird. I met the owner's briefly as we were loading the stuff into the car and she asked for my Facebook info so she could see pictures of the guinea pigs so now I have a friend invitation from her...
I actually don't friend people I don't know on Facebook very often, even relatives...
Due to some kind of mix-up in communication we initially though the owner's lived in my city, but we actually had to drive an hour away for the pick-up so it's not like I'll run into her at the grocery store.
I'm kind of debating whether to accept the invitation or not. Leaning towards not. But then I don't want to be rude and hurt anyone's feelings... [shrug emoji]
So what would the wise people of Peadom do?
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Post by allison1954 on Aug 3, 2020 17:33:01 GMT
I wouldn’t
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,571
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Post by ashley on Aug 3, 2020 17:34:09 GMT
You could accept her and then lock her down so she can only see what you choose to share with her. That way you could post pigggie photos for her to see but she wouldn’t have access to see anything else.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 3, 2020 17:34:23 GMT
Nope
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,486
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Post by tanya2 on Aug 3, 2020 17:35:00 GMT
ignore ignore ignore
and then if you get called on it just say you never received it
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Post by beepdave on Aug 3, 2020 17:35:12 GMT
Don't do it if you don't want to - leave the invite there so they don't try to friend you again - or don't accept and block them so they can't even see you.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,899
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Aug 3, 2020 17:37:54 GMT
Lots of people do that, you could have bought a sweater or bookshelf from her on a FB buy sell and then you get a friend request. No thanks, I messaged you on messanger to meet up, we're done now. Even if you see we have a friend in common, who cares.
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Post by MichyM on Aug 3, 2020 17:37:56 GMT
In my opinion it’s easy. If you don’t want to friend her, then don’t. No gyrations necessary.
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Post by pierkiss on Aug 3, 2020 17:43:26 GMT
I would not.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
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Post by schizo319 on Aug 3, 2020 17:53:57 GMT
My social media is very generic, I never share anything controversial, political, or overly personal (it's mostly garden/pet/food pictures), so I would have no problem accepting the friend request - you can always unfriend/block if things get weird. I know if I had to re-home a pet, it would be a comfort to see that they were happy and healthy.
If you aren't comfortable accepting the request, then just say so. "I don't accept friend requests from people who aren't family/close friends, but I'm happy to DM you an occasional update on the piggies if you want".
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,493
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Aug 3, 2020 17:57:34 GMT
I know a lot of pet lovers want to ensure their pets have made it to s safe and healthy new home and don't really mean anything by it, but other than a need to see a picture or two. Maybe you could post a few pictures and eventually just unfriend her. My sister had to let several of her animals go to new homes due to her health issues, then her husband got a blood cancer and ended up with a transplant and she was not able to take care of them properly. She so enjoys being able to see photos of them in their new environments adjusting well to their new owners. It makes her feel like she didn't betray them as much as she felt the day she handed them over to the new owners. Any animal she acquired, she was also happy to send a few picture the previous owner. Maybe instead of FB, could you just ask her for her email and send her a picture or two over the next few months? Tell her you don't do FB all that much and email would be better.
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 3, 2020 18:06:56 GMT
You could accept her and then lock her down so she can only see what you choose to share with her. That way you could post pigggie photos for her to see but she wouldn’t have access to see anything else. This is what I do. I have a few people that I know very casually. They aren’t allowed to comment and can only see what I’ve posted if I tag them. An alternative is to say that you really don’t use FB, but would be happy to send them photos of their new home. |
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 3, 2020 18:41:26 GMT
I would ignore it and not think about it another second. Or I would add her as a contact on fb messenger and send her photos that way so she doesn’t have to be a friend.
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 3, 2020 19:45:40 GMT
I usually let those kind of invites just sit and not respond. But with the animals, I know I would like pictures once and awhile if I had to give one away. Maybe accept it but limit her viewing... let that go on for six months or so then delete.
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Post by spitfiregirl on Aug 3, 2020 21:56:18 GMT
just answer this ... do you want a guniea pig friend ? and then make your decision.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,964
Member is Online
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Aug 3, 2020 21:58:36 GMT
just answer this ... do you want a guniea pig friend ? and then make your decision. This. I wouldn't do it. |
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 3,410
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Post by TXMary on Aug 3, 2020 22:06:20 GMT
I usually just go ahead and accept and then in a month or so, unfriend them. I figure they have probably forgotten all about me by then and won't even notice. I don't post much anyway.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,525
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Post by mlana on Aug 3, 2020 22:29:29 GMT
I know a lot of pet lovers want to ensure their pets have made it to s safe and healthy new home and don't really mean anything by it, but other than a need to see a picture or two. Maybe you could post a few pictures and eventually just unfriend her. My sister had to let several of her animals go to new homes due to her health issues, then her husband got a blood cancer and ended up with a transplant and she was not able to take care of them properly. She so enjoys being able to see photos of them in their new environments adjusting well to their new owners. It makes her feel like she didn't betray them as much as she felt the day she handed them over to the new owners. Any animal she acquired, she was also happy to send a few picture the previous owner. Maybe instead of FB, could you just ask her for her email and send her a picture or two over the next few months? Tell her you don't do FB all that much and email would be better. This is similar to what the person DD got her dog from asked. The Lady was making the best choices for the dog she had had since it was a pup and she asked that DD send her an occasional update on Cherry. DD created a page for Cherry and then sent the lady a friend request from it. When DD takes pics, she makes sure to post them there and the lady is thrilled. It’s very obvious that she didn’t want to part with Cherry, but knew it was for Cherry’s own good. Marcy |
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Post by bdhudak on Aug 4, 2020 4:02:22 GMT
* You can send pics thru FB messenger You don’t have to “friend” her .
That way she can see them if you want to share to her but she no longer owns them.
no other obligation, she want to feel connected is she going to pay half from now on for the food and bedding?
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Aug 4, 2020 4:20:43 GMT
I often ignore friend requests. Even if I once knew that person long ago. I use Facebook for people that I actually want to stay in touch with even if I may never see them again.
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Post by julieinsweden on Aug 4, 2020 13:14:53 GMT
I can totally understand her wanting to keep in touch with animals that she has given away.
I have a 'Friends except' group that I post my pictures (mainly about my kids)to which is close friends and family. Then she would be in my everyone group for the few times I post generic stuff.
So I would except her.
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Post by Laurie on Aug 4, 2020 13:22:24 GMT
I would either accept it but do as others mentioned and put her basically on lock down and she would only see the pics of your pets. More than likely though she would sit in the inbox rot. I wouldn't accept the request but I wouldn't deny it either. I have some extended family members that I have no desire to accept but since it is family I don't want to be rude. This way it just looks as if I haven't seen the request.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185
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Post by rickmer on Aug 4, 2020 14:26:57 GMT
nah... i wouldn't. over the years i have worked in real estate, i run into some realtor in the kitchen and by the time i get home i have a FB friend request pending. i am like... oh, that's your name? had no idea... lol!
i would not friend them. if they followed up, i would just say i am very private and prefer not to but will send you some pics every now and then if you want to give me your email address.
yes, i could do what others recommend with privacy setting, etc... but i am lazy and don't keep up on all the intricacies of FB.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
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Post by muggins on Aug 4, 2020 14:44:51 GMT
I wouldn’t. How many guinea pig photos are you going to post on FB for her benefit? I would give her my email address and if she wants a photo or update she can email directly.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,586
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 4, 2020 15:50:43 GMT
Yeah-- messenger her a photo right away, and that way you are showing gratitude and filling her request for photos.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Aug 4, 2020 19:50:16 GMT
I think, some people friend request anybody and everybody, because they base their self worth by "the numbers", meaning they need the validation of having a "higher friend count" total.
The same thing happens with material possessions. Some people talk "in numbers", my $50,000 car, my $400 purse, my whatever "name brand" of anything and everything. Their self worth is materialism based.
When someone on my friends list posts on social media, and a discussion or commentary ensues. Just because I comment or partake in the discussion, doesn't mean I want to be friends with every single person who comments.
If I meet someone new via a friend or acquaintance I don't need to be social media friends, with them.
But there's always one or more, or many..... that are constantly seeking and trolling for new "friends" to up their social media numbers.
In your situation, I would decline the request.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 4, 2020 21:41:01 GMT
Um, no. You do not need to accept friend requests from strangers. Period.
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