dexter
Full Member
Posts: 248
Nov 28, 2016 15:57:15 GMT
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Post by dexter on Sept 7, 2020 3:13:55 GMT
Every year my brother has a fish fry to celebrate his catches with friends for his birthday. It is a fun time. I started feeling ill on Friday and because some of the symptoms could be covid symptoms, and I cannot be tested until Tuesday. I did not feel it was appropriate that I attend in a large group.... anyway. My husband went and my teen kiddos went but drove separately. I made 2 crockpots of food to send out with them. My kiddos left and my DH sent some fish and had them stop and drop them off for a friend who couldn't attend. Not for me. š¤·āāļø
So my k8ds get home first and said they dropped some fish off for friend and i asked if they brought me some, and they said, no, do just had them take that. Maybe he was bringing some with him.
He gets home and I just ask if he brought me a piece of fish. Nope. He then says, they ran completely out! Hmmm, but the kids said you told them to drop some off for friend? Blank look. He then says, well did you really need some? Woooooow.
Did I need it, no. Was that the point?? No. Am I upset because I feel like he didn't even think of me?? Yep. And now HE is mad at ME for being upset.
Shaking my head.
Like I said, I just needed a safe place to vent......š„ŗ
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Post by Linda on Sept 7, 2020 3:18:26 GMT
((((Hugs))) I'm sorry
Hope you feel better soon and that DH redeems himself
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 7, 2020 3:36:08 GMT
I would be POd too. How is it that some men think of others more then they think of their own wife? I donāt get it.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475 
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Sept 7, 2020 3:38:33 GMT
You deserve something extra special now, like ice cream.š
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 7, 2020 3:41:59 GMT
(Hugs)
That really sucks.
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Post by shescrafty on Sept 7, 2020 3:42:57 GMT
I am sorry you were not thought of. That stinks  If you are possibly Covid positive-wouldnāt that give your family a clear exposure? So they could possibly also be positive and asymptomatic? And then they went to a fish fry? Maybe I am missing something here but I am confused. |
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dexter
Full Member
Posts: 248
Nov 28, 2016 15:57:15 GMT
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Post by dexter on Sept 7, 2020 3:49:29 GMT
I am sorry you were not thought of. That stinks If you are possibly Covid positive-wouldnāt that give your family a clear exposure? So they could possibly also be positive and asymptomatic? And then they went to a fish fry? Maybe I am missing something here but I am confused. I haven't had a known exposure. I have a sinus infection I am being treated for. Just because I don't feel like being in a relatively large group doesn't mean there is necessarily a risk for my family. Sinusitis shares symptoms woth covid however, so I feel it is a remote possibility. Quarantining completely doesny seem warranted. |
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Post by shescrafty on Sept 7, 2020 3:53:46 GMT
I am sorry you were not thought of. That stinks If you are possibly Covid positive-wouldnāt that give your family a clear exposure? So they could possibly also be positive and asymptomatic? And then they went to a fish fry? Maybe I am missing something here but I am confused. I haven't had a known exposure. I have a sinus infection I am being treated for. Just because I don't feel like being in a relatively large group doesn't mean there is necessarily a risk for my family. Sinusitis shares symptoms woth covid however, so I feel it is a remote possibility. Quarantining completely doesny seem warranted. Okay the impression that I got from your OP was that you didnāt want to attend because you are having Covid symptoms, so I went with what you wrote. I hope you feel better and have a negative test result. |
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pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002
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Post by pancakes on Sept 7, 2020 5:23:17 GMT
Ugh. That was a dick move. You are right to be mad. He had enough to give fish to a friend!
Sounds like something my husband might do. Not maliciously of course...just cluelessly.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 7, 2020 6:48:39 GMT
Husbands can be so clueless!
My husband does things like that. Once he did not come home for Christmas cause he was in Houston and wanted to spend the day with my mother who was "alone" in an assisted living facility. There were lots of nice people who were in the same facility who she ate with and enjoyed the company of. I was alone on Christmas eve and Day with NO hot water cause he was supposed to get home and fix it before Christmas. Other incidents come to mind along the same line. It all came to a head when he was visiting a cousin daily and made a promise to take her to the doctor on a specific day that I had to have a procedure done. At the time I should not have been driving, but had to drive myself. He was upset and has been better about putting me first.
But part of the same problem I see in my marriage and other marriages is the lack of politeness and having to put up with stuff they do not put on others. My husband manages to hold groans and moans in when other are around, but when it is just us, I get the full experience. (His pain is real, he just is not as noisy about it when with others.) Passing gas, burping and picking his nose is only done around me and not others. I just don't get why it is OK to make me see and hear these things. If I say something he gets all hurt and defensive. So I just leave the room.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Sept 7, 2020 12:16:41 GMT
DH - sometimes means ādick headā. It can also mean ādog houseā which is where my DH would be if he didnāt think to bring me some fish.
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Post by cade387 on Sept 7, 2020 12:41:40 GMT
I haven't had a known exposure. I have a sinus infection I am being treated for. Just because I don't feel like being in a relatively large group doesn't mean there is necessarily a risk for my family. Sinusitis shares symptoms woth covid however, so I feel it is a remote possibility. Quarantining completely doesny seem warranted. Okay the impression that I got from your OP was that you didnāt want to attend because you are having Covid symptoms, so I went with what you wrote. I hope you feel better and have a negative test result. I read it as the same and would have wanted someone sick preparing food that was brought either. OP- your husband should have thought of you but I know mine probably wouldnāt either. |
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paigepea
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Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Sept 7, 2020 12:56:40 GMT
Really youāre highlighting a major difference between men and women.
Another major difference was highlighted for me this week because a dear friend and her family bought a new puppy. Sheās beyond stressed and wondering if they made the right choice while her Dh is happy to play. Of course heās unable to multitask the dog with work so he goes to work, thinks nothing of the dog and comes home to play with it at the end of the day. She, meanwhile, goes to work but must plan who is taking care of the dog all day and thinks about what this dog might be doing at home, etc. Sheās multitasking.
Iām sorry your Dh was inconsiderate. It is nice to know theyāre thinking of us whether we want / need the fish or not. Unless this is an extreme pattern Iād voice your disappointment and move on. And the next time youāre in a similar situation Iād remind him of this with capital letters before he leaves the house. After all he probably will forget. I speak from experience š.
I hope you feel better!
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Post by MZF on Sept 7, 2020 12:59:01 GMT
I'd be a bit mad, too. Sorry he didn't think to bring you some fish.
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Kath
Full Member
Posts: 446
Jun 26, 2014 12:15:31 GMT
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Post by Kath on Sept 7, 2020 13:06:40 GMT
Initial post: You started feeling ill, it could be Covid, you cooked food for a large group of people, and now youāre mad at dh because you wanted to eat fish while you were ill.
You have to admit, it is kind of an odd post.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 7, 2020 13:11:24 GMT
I like for my husband to think of me in instances similar to that. I'm sorry yours did not. And I suppose it was compounded by the fact that it did occur to him to send food to others.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,894
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Post by CeeScraps on Sept 7, 2020 13:16:19 GMT
That stinks. I hope you're not sick!
With the rest of your family going to the outing they easily could of infected everyone who was there. That's what has happened at the wedding in Maine. It was a gathering of 65 and now 150 are infected and 2-3 people have died from Covid.
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Post by Zee on Sept 7, 2020 14:00:17 GMT
Initial post: You started feeling ill, it could be Covid, you cooked food for a large group of people, and now youāre mad at dh because you wanted to eat fish while you were ill. You have to admit, it is kind of an odd post. No, she's hurt because she stayed home ill and he sent fish for someone else but didn't think to make sure she had some. That's rude. Though if I stayed home for possible Rona symptoms I wouldn't send food or family. |
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Post by maryland on Sept 7, 2020 18:52:56 GMT
Okay the impression that I got from your OP was that you didnāt want to attend because you are having Covid symptoms, so I went with what you wrote. I hope you feel better and have a negative test result. I read it as the same and would have wanted someone sick preparing food that was brought either. OP- your husband should have thought of you but I know mine probably wouldnāt either. I probably wouldn't have thought to bring my husband home any either, so I would be the bad wife!
But that's nice that your husband went to your family event. I can't picture my friends going to their inlaws without their husband, so maybe he gets points for enjoying your family?  |
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 7, 2020 19:10:08 GMT
Really youāre highlighting a major difference between men and women. Another major difference was highlighted for me this week because a dear friend and her family bought a new puppy. Sheās beyond stressed and wondering if they made the right choice while her Dh is happy to play. Of course heās unable to multitask the dog with work so he goes to work, thinks nothing of the dog and comes home to play with it at the end of the day. She, meanwhile, goes to work but must plan who is taking care of the dog all day and thinks about what this dog might be doing at home, etc. Sheās multitasking. Iām sorry your Dh was inconsiderate. It is nice to know theyāre thinking of us whether we want / need the fish or not. Unless this is an extreme pattern Iād voice your disappointment and move on. And the next time youāre in a similar situation Iād remind him of this with capital letters before he leaves the house. After all he probably will forget. I speak from experience š. I hope you feel better! I really don't think this is true. My DH can be forgetful about things occasionally, but he absolutely helps with every aspect of our home and is constantly doing things that make my life easier. He may not always notice when a sink needs to be cleaned in the same way that I would, but he does so much that it's no big deal for me to take care of things like that. When he goes somewhere where there's food and it's possible, he always brings me something. He's gone out with a friend to dinner and brought me home a dessert. Being thoughtful is not just a "female thing." OP, I totally validate you and would be upset as well, particularly when you weren't feeling well. I'd be disappointed as well. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 7, 2020 20:17:57 GMT
Iāll definitely Validate you.
Signed, a wife who is often overlooked.
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Post by greendragonlady on Sept 7, 2020 20:48:59 GMT
I've been there. Sorry.  I hope you feel better soon. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on Sept 7, 2020 22:29:58 GMT
Yeah, I hesitate to say itās a man thing. When it comes to thinking of others DH is the woman and Iām the inconsiderate āmanā.
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Post by Merge on Sept 7, 2020 22:47:56 GMT
Maybe console yourself that fried fish isn't really great as a leftover.
Sorry, my DH would probably do the same thing. Hope he makes it up to you.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,088
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Post by used2scrap on Sept 8, 2020 0:43:59 GMT
Iām sorry you werenāt thought of especially after making the effort to think of others. š¢
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