Parents of 18 year olds

I really love the idea of a cleaning fee. My oldest is financially motivated (and the one that is the hardest to get to fo chores), so it would work for him.

I have a 19(B), 18(G), & 17 (G) yo. The 18 yo is not mine biologically and moved in with us over a year ago due to a tough family situation. All 3 of them are doing
On line college (the 18 & 17 yo are Running Start) and all work from 10-25 hours per week.

They work well together and have a cleaning schedule for their bathroom. If they don't clean it, they have to live with it. The girls in particular don't let it get too bad.

They all pitch in when asked, but don't have any initiative on their own. It's working out well, but I feel like I've been a mom for about a million years at this point.

I have an almost 18 year old who is a slob. Take his phone or keys away and tell him he can have them back when he cleans the bathroom. It will be done within an hour. I hate that I have to resort to these kinds of tactics but I do. I talk to DS all the time about what it means to be a good roommate (college is his plan next) and sometimes that motivates him. Kids will do anything for phones and freedom. I think it's unfair that your DD has to live in filth since he won't clean.

Change the internet password. Give him the new one when he completes his chores.

I kid, kind of lol But, that's exactly what we had to do with our youngest. He had specific chores to do (trash, clean bathroom, bring dishes upstairs) each week. I got sick of nagging, so told him that the the chores had to be done by Tuesday night each week. First week? Didn't happen by Tuesday night. Wednesday morning he couldn't access the internet, and we blocked in his vehicle so he couldn't go anywhere.

He started doing his chores. He bitched about it once, so just for shits and grins I blocked in his vehicle AND paused his cell phone just because I could. That stopped the bitching too.

So glad that one is grown up hahahahahahaha! He was a project, for sure.

When DS turned 18 and graduated, we sat him down and talked to him.  We asked if he'd like to be treated as an adult.  Of course he said yes.  We then told him we wouldn't be charging him rent (I didn't want him to feel weird or out of place in his own home) but that we would expect him to continue to pitch in with chores as a part of the family.  We also said he was welcome to come and go as he pleased, but that we'd like the courtesy of a text if he was going to be out later than he may have originally said.  We also asked him to let us know if he'd be home for dinner or not.  As he and DD were growing up, I used to make them a daily chore list.  I asked him if he still wanted one when he turned 18.  He said he did so that he could remember what he needed to do.

He is now 20 and this is still working out well for us.  From 18/graduation - August 2020, he was working 2 jobs... his old HS fast food job - he had been promoted to manager and was making really good $, and a job as a firefighter/EMT.  He just started medic school in August and quit his fast food job.  He goes to school 3 days a week, works 3 days a week and has 1 day off.  I don't pile on the chores, but he does have things he is expected to do every day (rubbish, pick up his stuff around the house) and then a few chores that are things that need to be done in general (folding bath towels, vacuuming, etc.)  For a bigger job like weed whacking and mowing, I let him know at the beginning of the week and ask that he get it done by the next Sunday, so he knows that he has time to work it in.  

Some things that he doesn't like doing, as far as chores go, I let him know that x is expected to be done before you x.  For example, for you, maybe you could use "the bathroom needs to be cleaned today before you go out with your friends."  It has worked for us.

Good luck!  It's weird when they turn "legal" and hard to figure out what route to go!

We have an 18 year old who is home since her college closed the dorms. Bonus, we are saving room and board......

Since she was going to go to school in Chicago, we had decided to give our 3rd car to her older sister who is a senior in college also. So she no longer has a car at home (dh and I are both working from home, so she can use ours whenever she wants). So no car rules.

She doesn’t really go many places, most of her friends are away, but our curfew rules were pretty lax: let us know where you are and when you will be home.

Chores, she is expected to do what we ask. This is no different than before, and is part of being a member of our house.