Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 13:37:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2020 1:13:10 GMT
It would be really helpful if one of you could fly out and take her to the divorce attorney. Is this Southern or Northern California? I would tell her to quietly gather any jewelry and things of importance to her such as photographs, sentimental items, etc. and either have whoever accompanies her to the attorney quietly pack them back to Minnesota with them or ask a good friend to keep them at their home. Heck, if I wasn't moving myself, I would offer to take her to an attorney myself and put her valuables at my place. Preparation for the attorney: Have a list of questions written down to ask regarding her rights and ask when you make the appointment what she needs to bring with her to start the divorce proceedings. Most attorneys will give you the first hour free so you want to make the most of it and be prepared with questions written down. Was the house they are living in bought jointly? California is a 50/50 property state so he might get half of the house unless there is a law protecting her if she purchased it well before he moved into it with her. I know of a couple that wrote their home ownership up in percentages based on the amount of money each spouse put for the down payment. She owned 75% to his 25% because she had a better job. Is the house in both names or just hers? Did they have a prenup by chance? Good luck. I think she would need to stay until the divorce is final or at least return for the final signing of paperwork. Homes are selling very fast here, so she should be good there. I do know of a good realtor in Southern California that I could recommend if you need one. He is very honest and I am using him to sell my home. My ex moved out of the house prior to me filing for the divorce and nothing was said about him abandoning the home or my son. I just wanted him out. Thank you for this!!! Southern CA. I am having her gather stuff and we will just start shipping stuff, little by little, sentimental stuff. Yes, the house they are living in was bought jointly. So hopefully it will just be a split. No minor children, (he has no kids, she has 4, but we are all adults) House is in both names, and I am hopeful that we can get the ball rolling with an attorney here, get her up to MN under the guise of "visiting the kids", the attorney files and he is served while she is out of the house and then we accompany her back here to grab the big stuff (her bed, etc) How does that sound?
|
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,663
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Oct 16, 2020 1:16:12 GMT
I would think you would need a attorney from where she lives.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Oct 16, 2020 1:41:04 GMT
It would be really helpful if one of you could fly out and take her to the divorce attorney. Is this Southern or Northern California? I would tell her to quietly gather any jewelry and things of importance to her such as photographs, sentimental items, etc. and either have whoever accompanies her to the attorney quietly pack them back to Minnesota with them or ask a good friend to keep them at their home. Heck, if I wasn't moving myself, I would offer to take her to an attorney myself and put her valuables at my place. Preparation for the attorney: Have a list of questions written down to ask regarding her rights and ask when you make the appointment what she needs to bring with her to start the divorce proceedings. Most attorneys will give you the first hour free so you want to make the most of it and be prepared with questions written down. Was the house they are living in bought jointly? California is a 50/50 property state so he might get half of the house unless there is a law protecting her if she purchased it well before he moved into it with her. I know of a couple that wrote their home ownership up in percentages based on the amount of money each spouse put for the down payment. She owned 75% to his 25% because she had a better job. Is the house in both names or just hers? Did they have a prenup by chance? Good luck. I think she would need to stay until the divorce is final or at least return for the final signing of paperwork. Homes are selling very fast here, so she should be good there. I do know of a good realtor in Southern California that I could recommend if you need one. He is very honest and I am using him to sell my home. My ex moved out of the house prior to me filing for the divorce and nothing was said about him abandoning the home or my son. I just wanted him out. Thank you for this!!! Southern CA. I am having her gather stuff and we will just start shipping stuff, little by little, sentimental stuff. Yes, the house they are living in was bought jointly. So hopefully it will just be a split. No minor children, (he has no kids, she has 4, but we are all adults) House is in both names, and I am hopeful that we can get the ball rolling with an attorney here, get her up to MN under the guise of "visiting the kids", the attorney files and he is served while she is out of the house and then we accompany her back here to grab the big stuff (her bed, etc) How does that sound? . You need to have her get an attorney where she lives. Not in Minnesota. That’s not gonna do any good
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 13:37:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2020 2:01:52 GMT
You need to have her get an attorney where she lives. Not in Minnesota. That’s not gonna do any good Right-sorry, should have been more clear. Get a CA attorney, get started with them. Mom comes up to "visit" in MN, (after having shipped her important stuff, small stuff, etc) and CA attorney serves him while she is up here. Then we fly down for the court date, and to pack her stuff up. So she is not alone with him after he knows she wants a divorce. Sigh...I wish this wasn't so hard...
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Oct 16, 2020 2:12:14 GMT
I may be the outlier here but she is a grown woman who needs to figure out her own life. She married him, now she needs to deal with him. I say fuck him. Stop being his maid. Take care of herself only, get out of the house and have a life. There is no law that says she has to take care of him or stay cooped up with him. If that makes him unhappy, so what? Maybe he will leave. If she really wants out she is going to have to hire a lawyer. Of course you should support her and help her in any way you can, but this is on her. I agree with the stop being a maid. It seems like many females never get to retire while the males do. She needs to make a declaration and see what happens. And get a lawyer.
|
|
|
Post by calgaryscrapper on Oct 16, 2020 2:15:32 GMT
I have a family member that went through a divorce. She thought she got everything from the house. She wanted to go back a few days later and he would not allow her back in the house. If your Mom goes back to the house after he is served her possessions might not be there. Also, have her be assessed so he can’t claim she is not of sound mind. Have a lawyer do up a medical power of attorney, Will etc so you or your siblings can make decisions for her if she can’t do so
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 13:37:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2020 14:41:52 GMT
I have a family member that went through a divorce. She thought she got everything from the house. She wanted to go back a few days later and he would not allow her back in the house. Did she call the police? Why wasn't she allowed back into the house? I guess I hadn't considered this, but it's still her house, people have to do this, right? They still need to go to work, get groceries, etc..after filing for divorce. It seems unrealistic to file for divorce and just hole up into the house until the court date.
|
|
|
Post by twinks on Oct 16, 2020 16:35:47 GMT
To answer your question, yes, people deny the other party access to belongings all the time. The police can’t do anything and don’t get involved in pending divorce cases. It then becomes part of the divorce for the attorneys to fight it out. That is why the advise to get everything out of value - jewelry, pictures, etc. that she may want. Personally, I maybe would have someone fly there, help her move some things into a storage room and have her get her stuff out the day she meets with the attorney. Like a sibling fly in and they “go to lunch” but instead meet with the attorney. Have a storage unit and some people to help all lined up. Come in and move her stuff. The little things she can squirrel away with a friend until that time when things are arranged. I would look at the costs involved. It might just be worth replacing than storing and then moving across the country. Besides, does she really want her bed?
In my situation, I was hospitalized and when I was released I went to see my then 3 month old baby who my mother was taking care of. My mother lived in another city. I didn’t have any clothes, etc and my sister said she would stop by my house and pick stuff up that evening. She went and the locks were changed and he was out of town. I filed for divorce the next day. I gave my attorney made a list of what I wanted/needed. I never got the things. It became more cost effective to replace things.
|
|
|
Post by calgaryscrapper on Oct 16, 2020 19:06:24 GMT
I do not know everything that transpired after she moved out. Just suggesting she gets her personal items, pictures etc out of the house. When you think about the cost and safety of shipping right now things can be replaced.
|
|
MissChris
Full Member
Posts: 370
Jul 14, 2014 0:46:04 GMT
|
Post by MissChris on Oct 16, 2020 19:35:05 GMT
I'm a family law paralegal in Arizona and the best advice is to contact a CA attorney for an initial consultation, which it sounds like you're in the process of doing. Don't be surprised if you have to pay a fee, which is pretty standard these days. I've found that most free consultation are only 15 to 30 minutes long and they're more of a sales pitch telling you all about them and don't necessarily address your specific needs. Our consultations are $250 (the attorney normally charges $325 per hour), but they are typically 1 1/2 to 2 hours long. Like they say, you get what you pay for.
Whatever your mom does regarding removing property, even if it's her sole and separate property, she needs to make a comprehensive list of any and all property she removes from the house. Take picture too if she can. If her husband claims that she took community property from the house, she will have the list and the pictures to show exactly what she took. She should also make a list and take pictures of any community property that she leaves behind. That way she can show what was left when she moved out of the house.
|
|