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Post by elaine on Nov 10, 2020 15:10:17 GMT
Many of you on this board have expressed the feeling of not being able to remain friends with people, including family, that don't share your political views. Perhaps she has decided the same. I have not cut off contact with anyone except one cousin who told me I was going to hell because I am a liberal. I had asked him not to post on my Facebook wall anymore because he kept telling people on my Facebook wall that Trump was an answer to prayer about gay rights. Being gay is against the bible and therefore all this happening was God's will. And I asked him not to post on my wall with such crazy ideas on political posts because he was offending my gay friends. He was offensive. And then he told me I was going to hell. And I unfriended him. Everyone else I have simply hidden from my feed. So I wasn't looking to cut off any family relationships. But there are people in my family who I will never look at the same way again. They are leaving. They are unfriending. They are telling me I'm going to hell and am more hateful than Trump. And you know me from this message board, do I really strike you as hateful? Let me echo what others have already said, you are one of the biggest hearted, least hateful people on this board. I see you constantly push yourself to respond to people you disagree with by trying to understand their point of view, even if you don’t see things the same way. You always treat people with grace.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 10, 2020 15:17:12 GMT
I have not cut off contact with anyone except one cousin who told me I was going to hell because I am a liberal. I had asked him not to post on my Facebook wall anymore because he kept telling people on my Facebook wall that Trump was an answer to prayer about gay rights. Being gay is against the bible and therefore all this happening was God's will. And I asked him not to post on my wall with such crazy ideas on political posts because he was offending my gay friends. He was offensive. And then he told me I was going to hell. And I unfriended him. Everyone else I have simply hidden from my feed. So I wasn't looking to cut off any family relationships. But there are people in my family who I will never look at the same way again. They are leaving. They are unfriending. They are telling me I'm going to hell and am more hateful than Trump. And you know me from this message board, do I really strike you as hateful? Let me echo what others have already said, you are one of the biggest hearted, least hateful people on this board. I see you constantly push yourself to respond to people you disagree with by trying to understand their point of view, even if you don’t see things the same way. You always treat people with grace. Thank you. It just shocked me. And I agree with you @zingermack. I'm tolerating family, but I'm not choosing friends who are racist in their views.
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Post by mayceesgranny on Nov 10, 2020 15:22:06 GMT
I can sympathize! My parents are in their late 70's and my youngest brother (44) lives with them. Both my parents and my brother are rabid Trump supporters and refuse to compromise their beliefs or hear any criticism about Trump. They won't speak to my very vocal "liberal" adult children.
I haven't visited them since Father's Day. Luckily they still drive and they have my brother to help them. I do speak to my mother every couple weeks to check in on them, but try to avoid any political talk. I haven't spoken to them since the election.
My sister and I have both said we miss our "old mom" - the one we could joke with and talk about anything. Now she's so caught up in Fox News and Trump that we can't tolerate more than a five minute phone call. We probably won't spend any Holiday time together this year, which might be a good thing.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Nov 10, 2020 15:37:08 GMT
I don't think the 24 hour news media has done our elderly parents, currently not able to participate in their normal social activities, any favors. Anyone who has one station going every waking moment is probably pretty scared about what the other side is doing.
My mom can't seem to talk about anything but politics these days, and it does get tiring. I tend to fall into the "it'll all work out" and "people have good intentions but different approaches" camp, so I don't get too panicked about anything, and I think that is frustrating to her sometimes. I can imagine that it would send her over the top if I actively argued with her position or got into the name calling and insulting that is so incredibly prevalent these days, so if her kids were doing that, I can see how she might not enjoy socializing right now.
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Post by gizzy on Nov 10, 2020 15:50:33 GMT
It's sad reading how many families/friends have been affected by him. It seems like some people tipped over the edge into the conspiracy theories & he's going to save us for xyz when this pandemic hit and then dragged on. Add in fox news working them up & here we are. I really hope they're able to ratchet it back down after our country settles down.
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Post by shessoaverage on Nov 10, 2020 18:44:48 GMT
I remember seeing a documentary five or six years ago called "The Brainwashing of My Dad." It was made by a woman who saw her father change from a normal person into a rabid conservative after he started listening to Rush Limbaugh and watching Fox TV. Very interesting and it seems like it applies more than ever to what is happening.
Definitely worth a watch!
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Post by Laurie on Nov 10, 2020 19:00:11 GMT
I am not looking to defend any side one way or the other. The thing I try to keep in mind is that the elderly either lived through the Great Depression or raised in a time very close to it and that clouds their judgement and opinions. I believe it is a very real and very raw fear for them and they start worrying about having to go through it again. If they feel that threat is imminent I think the fear overtakes their rational thoughts. They are definitely scarred by those old wounds. The elderly have experienced things we can't even fathom so I try extending them more grace than I would someone that is younger.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 7:23:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2020 14:34:25 GMT
I am not looking to defend any side one way or the other. The thing I try to keep in mind is that the elderly either lived through the Great Depression or raised in a time very close to it and that clouds their judgement and opinions. I believe it is a very real and very raw fear for them and they start worrying about having to go through it again. If they feel that threat is imminent I think the fear overtakes their rational thoughts. They are definitely scarred by those old wounds. The elderly have experienced things we can't even fathom so I try extending them more grace than I would someone that is younger. I doubt we're talking about "great depression" folks. People who lived through that, who were in their tens and teens from 1932-1945 are in their late 80's and 90's now. I think we're talking about the boomers - people in their 60's and 70's now.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Nov 11, 2020 16:29:23 GMT
I am not looking to defend any side one way or the other. The thing I try to keep in mind is that the elderly either lived through the Great Depression or raised in a time very close to it and that clouds their judgement and opinions. I believe it is a very real and very raw fear for them and they start worrying about having to go through it again. If they feel that threat is imminent I think the fear overtakes their rational thoughts. They are definitely scarred by those old wounds. The elderly have experienced things we can't even fathom so I try extending them more grace than I would someone that is younger. I doubt we're talking about "great depression" folks. People who lived through that, who were in their tens and teens from 1932-1945 are in their late 80's and 90's now. I think we're talking about the boomers - people in their 60's and 70's now. Yes, my parents, who would be pushing 100 now, were in the generation whose world views were very much shaped by a Depression childhood/teens and then WWII, which I believe is why they both raised their brood with a very “Greater Good” POV - which was also definitely shaped by their attitude about the lifesaver that was the “socialist” New Deal. (Not their word; just their memory of the fervent handwringing at the time.) I think we older people are all lumped together so often that some may forget that there’re 25-35 years between the Greatest Generation and their Boomer children. That’s a lot of years - and a lot of life experiences (including, ironically, the ten-years-older-than me old hippies I know who can be pretty damn liberal in their 70s. LOL.). (I’m really sorry for those going through this kind of family/friend division and acrimony. It doesn’t really touch my world - but it also cements my resolve to never join Facebook, where it probably could happen with people I know less well.)
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Nov 11, 2020 17:02:35 GMT
I doubt we're talking about "great depression" folks. People who lived through that, who were in their tens and teens from 1932-1945 are in their late 80's and 90's now. I think we're talking about the boomers - people in their 60's and 70's now. My mother is 89. She's always been conservative, but now she's more outspoken in her hatred of everyone who doesn't think or act exactly like she does. She's pushed half her family away with her bigoted, homophobic, and xenophobic comments, and several of her grandchildren want nothing to do with her. Between Fox and her church, she didn't really stand a chance. It's sad. And it makes me very angry that organizations play on their fears and twist the minds of their followers for money and power the way they do.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,562
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Nov 12, 2020 2:11:04 GMT
When I watched the documentary “The Brainwashing of my Dad”, it gave me a lot of insight into the manipulation.
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 12, 2020 2:19:31 GMT
Dh and I plan on watching that this weekend.
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ellaknits
Full Member
Posts: 186
Mar 17, 2020 22:21:56 GMT
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Post by ellaknits on Nov 12, 2020 2:30:20 GMT
At 72, I'm not sure how I'd react to that - maybe not take her super seriously? Like give her the old "Sure Jan," and get off the phone, but also not be too far away (figuratively speaking) because, well, frankly she's a little delusional isn't she? My country needs me....that's a bit silly. She's likely to need her family again soon, just as soon as her countrymen are done tilting at windmills. Hopefully she's going to simmer down and snap out of it. Or reality will bite her in the ass and she'll snap out of it. I hope some time and perspective might ease more people into sense, I really do. Maybe just not reacting might be the thing? Let her save face and ignore it? It would be really hard, no doubt. :/
cmpeter sorry, just musing out loud. I'm sorry your family is in this situation! I think a lot of us are with various people and trying to figure out if we can stand it, to bite our tongues or let people flounce. So many of them seem determined to flounce! Sigh. SO frustrating.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 12, 2020 2:31:20 GMT
I am the old one and fear for my grandson's (both early 20s) who told me last year that FOX was the true news, everything else was 'fake news'.
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Post by megop on Nov 12, 2020 2:41:53 GMT
At 72, I'm not sure how I'd react to that - maybe not take her super seriously? Like give her the old "Sure Jan," and get off the phone, but also not be too far away (figuratively speaking) because, well, frankly she's a little delusional isn't she? My country needs me....that's a bit silly. She's likely to need her family again soon, just as soon as her countrymen are done tilting at windmills. Hopefully she's going to simmer down and snap out of it. Or reality will bite her in the ass and she'll snap out of it. I hope some time and perspective might ease more people into sense, I really do. Maybe just not reacting might be the thing? Let her save face and ignore it? It would be really hard, no doubt. :/
cmpeter sorry, just musing out loud. I'm sorry your family is in this situation! I think a lot of us are with various people and trying to figure out if we can stand it, to bite our tongues or let people flounce. So many of them seem determined to flounce! Sigh. SO frustrating. Agree with this. Just give her the space. Don't feel guilty. Make an attempt to check in from time to time and if she shuts you down, that's ok. Her choice. Don't let her manipulate. Just stay the course of "ok, respect your feelings and we love you. Let us know if/when we can help" and leave it as simple as that.
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