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Post by merry27 on Nov 17, 2020 20:40:49 GMT
I know every kid is different and the answers will vary. I have got a lot of advice and help with parenting from this board and love the opinions shared here. My 8th grader wants to get Instagram. We have avoided social media so far, except for a brief time with TicToc. I'm of the belief that you can't forbid social media forever- you need to teach them boundaries and set rules.
Is there a way to monitor your friends/followers? Has anyone used anything like Bark (an online monitoring app)? Or is there something else?
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Post by redshoes on Nov 17, 2020 21:00:39 GMT
My daughter just got IG after turning 15 this summer. It is set to private and her followers are only people she knows.
She hasn’t been overly interested in social media overall but kept missing school reminders so we agreed to get it, in part, so she can get quick notifications for the organizations she is part of...school, NCL and church groups.
She has yet to post something of her own! It’s also on our list to watch the Netflix show Social Dilemma. I want her to know up front what is really going on with SM accounts and the impact of what she posts and follows from a college/workplace perspective as she gets older.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:22:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2020 21:14:03 GMT
DD is 17 and doesn't want it. We offered it to her this summer but she is very anti social media  (yay! lol) |
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Post by Zee on Nov 17, 2020 21:25:33 GMT
I don't know for sure to be honest. They each still have one but DS 22 doesn't really have any social media anymore that he's active on, and deleted FB a couple years ago.
DD 26 still posts occasionally.
IG is my happy place. I think if you've been educating her about using social media responsibly and she is aware of potential downfalls, she should be old enough to trust with it.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 17, 2020 21:41:53 GMT
My daughter was 13. We insisted on private account and that I would follow her. You do need to periodically look to see if she has multiple accounts, most parents miss it and just follow the one "authorized" account and miss the others the kids set up. I ignored the finstas later in high school, but didn't allow it early on when she was still getting used to social media. So many groups use social media platforms to communicate, it does become an issue as time goes on.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,860 
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 17, 2020 21:44:56 GMT
IG is my happy place. I think if you've been educating her about using social media responsibly and she is aware of potential downfalls, she should be old enough to trust with it. I agree with this. our 14 year old was allowed on it this year. There were other artists she wanted to follow and we trust her, we've also had continued conversations about her online presence. i also have an IG account, and I follow her. I'm not sure if she knows I follow her or not, but that's not up for debate. One of the strongest things about this whole phone/ social media age to me has been her reaction of "you don't trust me" when I ask to see her phone. Of course I trust you, i just don't trust anyone else is my typical response, but it does have a ring of truth to it. A friend who has daughters just a bit younger than DD commented to me when did they get a private life? I was like YES! |
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,860
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Post by bethany102399 on Nov 17, 2020 21:46:11 GMT
So many groups use social media platforms to communicate, it does become an issue as time goes on. I had to get on twitter to be able to follow DD's high school. I'm still bitter about it. that's the one platform both DH and I refuse to let her have an account for. |
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,317
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Nov 17, 2020 21:54:49 GMT
Two years ago my then 13 year old dd started her own account without asking... I found out because I follow one of dd's friends and the account name on dd's account was very familiar. We had a nice talk about privacy (her account was public). She is now 15 and rarely posts on there. My current 13 year old also has an account (I approved) and never posts on it...
Neither have Facebook or Twitter.
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Post by roxley on Nov 17, 2020 22:34:02 GMT
My kids were middle school ish. Our deal from the time they started going online, was that I can always log into their accounts and I only care about things that are dangerous to them. I can notice things that I wouldn’t if I was just a “friend”. My daughter is now 19 and I stopped looking around 17ish because she is no problem. My son is 15 and the only time I cautioned him was when a senior girl was stalking him when he was a freshman. she was 18 and he was 14 LOL. I wouldn’t have known about this if I was just a friend because I wouldn’t see the DMs.
Every now and then I mention in a conversation we are having that I do pay attention and I can always look at them. But since I never bring anything up to them they really don’t care or notice. I let them be kids, I don’t care if they use bad language, I ignore teenage drama, unless I see something that could be dangerous for them. We have conversations all the time tough about unsafe use and they bring up things their friends do. We use these as learning experiences for them.
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Post by pierkiss on Nov 17, 2020 22:36:11 GMT
11. It is as locked down as we can make it. She’s only allowed to be friends with people she knows in real life. We check it regularly.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185
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Post by rickmer on Nov 17, 2020 22:44:00 GMT
my youngest got it at 12. and that now 13 year old has me blocked. it's not because of anything he posts, he rarely posts anything (maybe 2 things in a year) but i think he is concerned i will judge some of his friends if (thru him) i see their ridiculousness.
however, i don't worry that much - his older brother and sister are on his IG. they come and tell me anything i need to know (like when his friends post stupid shit).
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Nov 18, 2020 0:26:11 GMT
Our kids are allowed to get phones and social media when they go to high school. We are firm with that rule. I honestly wish my kids didn't care but they do and I do think they need help setting boundaries and learning how to manage it while living at home. I'm so glad we didn't do it sooner even though they all pressured us.
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(yay! lol)
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