conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Nov 12, 2014 21:05:22 GMT
one subject I am very open about is menopause. I was forced into menopause at 43 due to radiation treatment. so many things I didn't know or that medical research didn't acknowledge had me thinking I was losing my mind (& testing DH patience) for a year. so now when the subject comes up I let it all out in hopes that some other woman knows what can happen and possible symptoms. #1 was loss of libido. that was a hard one to overcome and even with hormones has never been quite the same. luckily my husband and I were able to talk to each other about the challenges it presents. I hear you sister! Medical menopause sucks! There's no way I could possibly be quiet about that issue. It ruled everything in my life for quite some time. I'm sure we could start another thread and commiserate on menopause horror stories. For some reason I enjoy bitching about it.  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2014 21:16:17 GMT
Silent sufferer for sure, I just don't want people to think I'm weak or can't cope. Ha. I am pretty sure this is me. (And wouldn't this fall under the heading of pride that someone mentioned earlier?) The idea that I would be perceived as anything but capable and strong makes me not want to share any problems with anyone...including family. I am pretty sure, at least in my case, it is a fault-not a strength.  I don't perceive it as a strength in my case either. At the moment I'm desperately in need of some help, I'm struggling greatly with everything but I'm keeping it hidden from my husband and family. I am very aware that this is stupid and will not lead to good things |
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Post by psoccer on Nov 12, 2014 21:22:38 GMT
I am a silent sufferer. When I was pregnant, and I had a miscarriage, I didn't want to say anything. However, everyone I worked with, and a huge amount of our customers knew I was pregnant so when I was no longer pregnant I was amazed how many people shared their stories. It was healing, for me, but I would never, and still don't bring it up. Well, except for right now.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,627
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Nov 12, 2014 21:29:44 GMT
I will now forever be a silent sufferer. I lost many great friends trying to get through some rough times and being way to open to discuss it with them. They were just internet friends, but a small group of women whom I had great respect and tons of love and care for. I miss them so much it hurts still. I'll no longer open up like that again.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 12, 2014 22:21:25 GMT
I have always been very private about problems. I hid all the many issues & problems in my first marriage, even actively covering them up. That came back to bite me badly. Nonetheless, I still remain pretty private about things. It's just my nature.
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Post by gonewalkabout on Nov 12, 2014 22:26:14 GMT
Silent sufferer here too. The only time I share anything and it's usually very little, is when I feel my experiences may be able to help someone.
Like tmrdkc, I've learned not to say anything.
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Post by Scrappyhappy on Nov 12, 2014 22:27:02 GMT
A silent sufferer.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,412
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Nov 12, 2014 22:29:54 GMT
I'm a silent sufferer. The one and only time I confided something deeply personal and confidential with a then trusted friend, she let me down badly and discussed the matter with several people. Let's just say that she is no longer on my Christmas card list. Cow.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222 
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Post by caro on Nov 12, 2014 22:43:26 GMT
I have learned, over the years, who I can share my stuff and whom I can't. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut. Ha, I think that's why I have GERD.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,415
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Nov 13, 2014 1:10:35 GMT
Little complaints I generally share, overwhelming issues, silent sufferer.
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Post by msbee on Nov 13, 2014 3:06:55 GMT
Mostly a silent sufferer, for the big things, at least. Now petty sh!t? I'll be yapping about that for an hour to any who will listen.  yeah that is me. I honestly never share everything with one person. I have a counselor I see that hears most of it but not everything. I have a long term friend who knows lots about me but not everything. I have a couple of girlfriends I confide some stuff in but no everything. I don't share a lot of stuff with my mom as I am sure she will overshare with some of my siblings and if I wanted them to know I would tell them. |
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 13, 2014 3:19:22 GMT
I'm definitely a sharer. Regarding money - We are sending our kids to private school which means we are often (read: usually) broke and live pay cheque to pay cheque. I'm always bitching about not having money to do this that or the other. A lot of my kids' friends' parents are in the same boat so we all bitch together!  I am an equal opportunity complainer - I have friends who are struggling financially and friends who are rolling in money - I complain equally to all of them. Regarding personal issues - I am still a sharer but only to close friends and family. I think I would explode if I had to suffer in silence. |
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Post by kimmie75 on Nov 13, 2014 22:19:09 GMT
I keep it to myself. I may talk about it after the fact, but never during.
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Post by Debbie on Nov 14, 2014 0:10:38 GMT
I wonder why some of us are that way? I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty grapefruit spoon than talk about things like money...but others have no problems. I just don't want to bother people. And I don't want people in my business. If you share with them, they know stuff about you and I don't need someone either 1. sharing it with someone else or 2. asking me about it every chance they get. Same. |
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
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Post by azredhead on Nov 14, 2014 0:31:37 GMT
I probably share more on here than I do in person! Mostly with the medical stuff because it's nice to know you're not a lone and there's always someone who's gone through it or knows someone who has and it gives comfort and answers. Most of the time. I think it's that way in general with medical stuff though. In person unless I know the person REALLY well, I don't talk about much of anything. With family I don't talk about money or personal issues. I too have learned who I share with and what.
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Post by DinCA on Nov 14, 2014 0:42:14 GMT
In general, I am a private person. I very rarely share the important stuff. I have an easier time with the less significant things but I don't make it a point to share unless I'm asked. And even then, it's not easy for me. I will say that it was a lot easier when I was a teenager and young adult. I really don't know why I'm more private now. So, I guess that makes me a silent sufferer.  |
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Post by dynalady on Nov 14, 2014 0:58:58 GMT
I'm a very private person and share very little, even with my best friends. I don't see it as suffering though. I just deal with whatever it is.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 1:38:39 GMT
What's that saying? when you have problems, 80% don't care and 20% are glad. Very cynical I know. Wow. I never heard that saying. I have a couple of very good friends. I tell them and they tell me. |
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Post by baslp on Nov 14, 2014 2:42:26 GMT
Both-- it depends on the situation.
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Post by M~ on Nov 14, 2014 3:04:45 GMT
I share early and often. Not with everyone but with the person I need to share with. I'd rather deal with issues than have people explode. You know, I don't want to be the person who, after 50 years of marriage, is making breakfast for her significant other and the person does the MOST ANNOYING THING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE for the BILLIONTH TIME and I lose my shit and stab them with a butcher knife and then keep on making breakfast calmly. You know, I don't want people to say, "but she had the most perfect relationship!! Why'd she stab her SO?"  |
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Post by sillyrabbit on Nov 14, 2014 3:13:38 GMT
I pretty much am a silent sufferer. Most of those closest to me are sharers, and sometimes it seems like there's never any time to talk about my issues by the time we've talked about theirs. I vent to my DH, my Mom, and my BFF and that's about it. One thing I do share a lot about is our journey with younger DS who has autism. I do that mainly so that those who are at the beginning of their journey can see that all the hard work and struggles are worth it.
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 14, 2014 3:19:40 GMT
I'm a sharer on a limited basis - only with my closest friends and family. I used to be a silent sufferer, but after some really traumatic events in my life, that approach failed me spectacularly. I've since realized it's human to need help and support and there's no shame in seeking it from those you love.  |
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 14, 2014 3:22:14 GMT
Mostly a silent sufferer, for the big things, at least. Now petty sh!t? I'll be yapping about that for an hour to any who will listen. |
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Post by donna on Nov 15, 2014 0:30:56 GMT
Some things I am a sharer, some things I share only with my dh and other things I share with no one. A lot of people share with me because they know I will not share with other people.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185
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Post by rickmer on Nov 15, 2014 12:55:52 GMT
sharer. big time. but only with close friends and my mom. i like to think out loud, get others' opinions and run things past my trusted confidents. i don't overshare super-personal things, not everything needs to be discussed though. i have had tooth drama for about 5 months. i am pretty confident *everyone* in my family and close circle of friends will be happy when *we* get to put it behind us.  |
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Post by wandawoman on Nov 15, 2014 13:51:45 GMT
the only people I share with are my mom and my husband. Even my good friends may not what bad things are going on in my life. Oh, and I share online, its easier to open up here than in real life sometimes  I don't usually share either, but the other day I thought that sharing online would help relieve the stress of an unpleasant situation. That didn't turn out well when a couple of people seemed to think that I was being unreasonable. I guess I'll go back to being a silent sufferer. |
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,077
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Nov 15, 2014 17:52:30 GMT
I always thought I was a sharer, but I am selective. I'm so lucky that I can talk to my Mum, my DH and my best friend about almost anything.
Often it's easier to share personal things with strangers, but I'm careful about what personal details I share on-line. I've got less yappy as I've got older, definitely.
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I am an equal opportunity complainer - I have friends who are struggling financially and friends who are rolling in money - I complain equally to all of them. 
