inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Mar 3, 2021 20:55:30 GMT
I don't think there is anything to be hurt about.
Your parents are being incredibly generous and are obviously trying to make things right, even though they are not obligated to do any of it.
Be grateful, be gracious, be forgiving.
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 3, 2021 21:10:18 GMT
My dad is scrupulous with their finances and watches their expenditures every month to the penny. That means that every month since they set up my nephew's account, he has watched money go into the account for him, and known that he had another grandchild who was not being contributed to. I am so hurt by all of this. My parents have since said that it was a big misunderstanding and that they will get my daughter's account caught up to where it would be if they had been contributing $50 month all along. They also think I am overreacting by being hurt. Am I? Any perspectives I am not seeing? I wish I could just say it is no big deal but I am so hurt that this had been going on for so long and they did not correct it. Need Pea advice! Maybe it was your dad watching the amount accumulating over time and feeling more uncomfortable with the situation that prompted your parents to talk to you.  It's an awkward situation to make right, so I would give them a lot of grace here. Feeling hurt is honest and real but holding onto the hurt is never a healthy thing to do.  |
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Post by mollycoddle on Mar 3, 2021 21:32:33 GMT
I'm glad you are taking to heart what people are telling you here. Your parents sound like generous, terrific people and I wouldn't waste one more minute being mad at them. I know we hate it when people say this here, but now that I have lost both of my parents? These things seem so small and petty. Embrace having loving parents and move on. This. I get that you are hurt, but your parents sound like generous, wonderful people. I would make a conscious decision to move past this. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 3, 2021 21:53:36 GMT
That does suck... I can't image my mom doing that. She treats all her grandkids basically the same. It might be money for one kid and maybe something equally the same for another.. but she wouldn't open a 529 for one grandkid and not another.. money or no money... I didn't have money when my kids were young. My sister did have money. So yeah I would probably be hurt if she 'picked' one over another because that isn't her style but what do you do?? I guess I would move on and let it go.. but I know it hurts.
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Post by cindytred on Mar 3, 2021 22:06:13 GMT
Life is too short to continue to be upset about this. They said they would contribute to bring your DD up to the same amount as your nephew. Obviously it was a misunderstanding, doesn't matter who is at fault. Enjoy your parents and your vacation and be thankful they are in your lives. Many are not as lucky. JMHO of course. I agree. Count your blessings and you will feel less stressed out and be happier. Cindy |
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 4, 2021 0:25:02 GMT
I'd be irritated, but then if move on.
At least I hope I
Would
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 4, 2021 14:29:14 GMT
We were in a very similar situation with MIL. When the older two kids were born, college accounts were set up for each of them and each year thereafter a large amount was deposited into each of those kids’ accounts.
When our kid was born an account was set up for her too with the amount the others got initially, but the older two had already amassed a nice chunk of money for college because their accounts had been added to every year and they were already 6-8 years old. Before our kid was one year old MIL knew she was dying, and was in fact in the hospital on the day before our kid’s first birthday party. 😞 She passed away three weeks later, and no further funds were added to any of the accounts.
The discrepancy wasn’t malicious at all, it was just a matter of timing. I’m sure if our kid would have been born years earlier when the other grandkids were, she would have had a fat college account too. But it just kind of sucks knowing that MIL knew she was terminally ill, money was the least of her worries, and she probably could have easily done something to even up all the accounts (the older kid had more college money than the younger sibling).
The really ironic thing is FIL groused that when his last remaining parent passed away, the small amount of money left in the estate was divided equally among the grandkids instead of evenly between the families. His brother had three kids to FIL’s two, so the estate wasn’t divided equally between the branches of the family and his brother’s side got more simply because he had more kids. If FIL had been the one still been alive, I’m sure things would have been done very differently because that fact really annoyed him and he didn’t think it was fair.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Mar 4, 2021 15:58:40 GMT
Do you feel that you have expressed your hurt at this point? If so, I think it’s best to let it go and accept that they feel bad about it and are making it right. It’s good that your mom brought it up to you so that the situation could be resolved now rather than later. They may have been feeling resentful about their perception of your reaction when they gave the $1000, just as you are hurt about your daughter not being treated equally. If you have talked and feel that it is resolved, let it go.
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