pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002 
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Post by pancakes on Mar 8, 2021 1:16:30 GMT
A friend I was very close with in high school is not doing well. Long story short: Her chemo doesn’t seem to be working and her tumor(s?) continue to grow. Some other high school friends are planning to see her in two weekends since she is on the decline.
Out of this group of friends, a few of us live out of state, all not within driving distance. I’m currently very torn between possibly seeing my friend for the last time (although I hope and pray this isn’t the case) and not traveling due to COVID reasons.
The other out of towners plan to stay with their parents — I cannot, since my family moved some years back.
So here’s what this trip would entail for me:
- Flying
- Renting a car
- Staying at a hotel
- Staying outdoors only when visiting, minus using the restroom.
- Pumping and carrying back breastmilk (concerned TSA will want me to open it and test it at security)
- Getting tested before I fly back due to Chicago’s travel rules or quarantining for 10 days
I will have been fully vaccinated by then. I am worried about the COVID variants and have an 11 month old and husband (also vaccinated) at home. OH YEAH, this is in a state that just repealed its mask mandate.
I feel like I’ll regret not seeing my friend and also will be a heartless bitch if I don’t go. But I also would be plagued with regret if I brought anything home to my family.
I’m leaning towards not going, but I don’t know what to do. My husband thinks I should go.
Thoughts?
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,890
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Post by CeeScraps on Mar 8, 2021 1:38:45 GMT
Here’s what I will say.....
-I’ve flown (all masked) and I have a shield
-Car: all masked
-Hotels don’t want their business harmed. No room cleaning unless you want it. Keyless check in if you want it.
Ok, so did I feel safe? Yes!
Concerned? Yes!
So.......that’s my experience.
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Post by mom on Mar 8, 2021 1:51:43 GMT
I have flown and honestly, I felt completely safe. The airlines are way more stringent than any store Ive been in.
I cant tell you what the right thing to do is, but know you arent a heartless bitch If you choose not to go.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Mar 8, 2021 2:41:14 GMT
I would go. I’ve flown across the world (literally) twice in the past few months when my parents got sick with covid in the USA. I was nervous but the airlines are being extremely careful. Wear a mask, wash your hands a ton and you will be ok.
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Post by shanniebananie on Mar 8, 2021 2:45:31 GMT
I have flown several times in the last year, rented cars, stayed in hotel rooms, etc. Just stay masked, wash your hands and you will be fine.
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Post by Zee on Mar 8, 2021 2:45:36 GMT
Wear an N95 if you're concerned. Take hand sanitizer everywhere, bring gloves. I personally would not try to bring breast milk back on a plane, I'd dump it rather than go through any hassle, but that's your call.
Wash everything as soon as you get home but other than that I wouldn't do anything special.
I don't know about a 10 day quarantine for Chicago though. If I had to do that I couldn't go, that's too long off work. Something for me to investigate because I was planning on visiting my son next month.
ETA being fully vaccinated is an exception even though I'm from an "orange state" so I'm still good to go but thanks for bringing this up.
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Post by hop2 on Mar 8, 2021 3:00:21 GMT
Wear an N95 if you're concerned. Take hand sanitizer everywhere, bring gloves. I personally would not try to bring breast milk back on a plane, I'd dump it rather than go through any hassle, but that's your call. Wash everything as soon as you get home but other than that I wouldn't do anything special. I don't know about a 10 day quarantine for Chicago though. If I had to do that I couldn't go, that's too long off work. Something for me to investigate because I was planning on visiting my son next month. My state ‘requires’ people to do a 10 day quarantine also. There are ways around it ‘legally’ but I fill out a legal questionnaire every single day that I go to work and lying on it could get me fired. I like my job so I’m stuck with the quarantine. Check your states rules and your employers rules. While my state has the 10 day quarantine in place the same rule allows symptomless essential workers an out if required to work by their employer. Clearly my employer doesn’t want to do that hence the questionnaire. OP- you are not a heartless bitch if you choose not to go. You have a your own family & child to consider. What stance do your friends doctors have about visitors do you know? Choose your hotel wisely not necessary cheaply. Mask, Sheild, hand wash, hand wash, hand wash, ( but you know that ) I’m sorry your friend is dealing with this |
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 8, 2021 3:54:27 GMT
If she is on the decline, is she in the hospital? In two weeks will she be in the hospital? If so, there will be no visiting. If she is not in the hospital, is she able to get around and be outside for visiting? I would also take into consideration how many visitors she will be having and if she would be up to all that kind of activity.
Also take into consideration that it is going to be around Spring Break time and it may be difficult to get plane tickets. Can you visit with her online?
Only you can decide if it is something you must do.
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Post by ~summer~ on Mar 8, 2021 3:56:33 GMT
Well I wouldn’t go if I had an 11 month old and was breastfeeding. Do what feels right to you I don’t think there is a “wrong” decision.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Mar 8, 2021 4:13:40 GMT
If she is on the decline, is she in the hospital? In two weeks will she be in the hospital? If so, there will be no visiting. If she is not in the hospital, is she able to get around and be outside for visiting? I would also take into consideration how many visitors she will be having and if she would be up to all that kind of activity. Also take into consideration that it is going to be around Spring Break time and it may be difficult to get plane tickets. Can you visit with her online? Only you can decide if it is something you must do. Our hospitals are now allowing visitors - I'm sure it varies tremendously by region. |
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Post by Zee on Mar 8, 2021 4:16:51 GMT
If she is on the decline, is she in the hospital? In two weeks will she be in the hospital? If so, there will be no visiting. If she is not in the hospital, is she able to get around and be outside for visiting? I would also take into consideration how many visitors she will be having and if she would be up to all that kind of activity. Also take into consideration that it is going to be around Spring Break time and it may be difficult to get plane tickets. Can you visit with her online? Only you can decide if it is something you must do. Our hospitals are now allowing visitors - I'm sure it varies tremendously by region. Ours too, one at a time only at designated hours. |
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 8, 2021 5:00:56 GMT
I wouldn’t. I would be terrified of both catching Covid and transmitting it to my friend. I couldn’t do it. Also, if memory serves, you have a baby/toddler at home? I would be terrified of catching it during my trip and transmitting it to my kid and husband when I returned.
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FurryP
Drama Llama
To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 7,210
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Mar 8, 2021 5:05:42 GMT
Being concerned about gambling with your family's well-being cannot possibly make you a heartless witch. Get that part out of your head.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 8, 2021 13:37:13 GMT
I would go. We've flown twice since last year. I didn't think a thing about it.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Mar 8, 2021 15:27:33 GMT
We flew in August and felt very safe doing so.
I'd say go see your friend. You and your DH have been vaccinated. Take safety precautions, but go. I imagine that she needs and wants to see you. I know I would want to see my friends in that situation.
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Post by auntkelly on Mar 8, 2021 15:31:00 GMT
I feel comfortable flying right now and staying in hotel rooms, but it sounds like you don’t. I think that’s fine. Our circumstances are very different.
I also think anyone would understand why someone with an 11 month old who is breast feeding might not be up to making a long trip, regardless of covid.
Is your friend well enough to appreciate a short zoom visit from you? If so, that’s what I would do.
Once you make up your mind as to whether you are going, don’t second guess yourself. There really is no right or wrong answer.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,702
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Mar 8, 2021 16:41:37 GMT
I probably wouldn't with a breastfeeding child, but that would be about my only hesitation in this situation. Can you attend virtually?
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