Driving school or not? Timid teen driver

Check and see if you can just do the driving part. I know the driving school the boys went to allowed that.

The driving with the instructor was 100% worth it. It was those 6 hours that gave my kids the final push toward being comfortable driving.


Also, it gives a discount on their insurance.

How long is his permit valid? DS was finally motivated to book his test when I pointed out that his permit was going to expire in 5 weeks and the testing appointments were booked up for the next 4 weeks. His fear of having to go through the permit application again was stronger than his driving anxiety.

I highly recommend lessons with a professional. IME, they take the kids on and off the highway way before I would have and the kids did just fine.

If you can afford driving school, then sure. The best way to get a kid to get over the anxiety of it is to make it a daily occurrence. Trips to the store, a random drive through the neighborhood, etc. Ask them how they want input. My son has add and needed a good 10 seconds between my instructions and the action for him to process what I said. Loads of praise about the good bits- “I like how smoothly you took that turn.” I didn’t keep hammering at the things that needed improvement. Building confidence is just as important as teaching the skills.

My son has high functioning autism.  He passed easily the classroom instruction.  But he had terrible nerves driving on the road.  He drove on a permit for 2 years.  Finally, my mom started dating a retired teacher who spends his retirement years teaching people to drive.  My son went driving with him for a few months and got over his fear.  I would not pay for classroom instruction for a kid who can easily pass the test and knows the traffic laws.  But I would absolutely pay for more drive time with the instructor until your child feels comfortable.  My son is a great and safe driver now.  And the comfort he felt and the instruction he got from a real driving instructor was much better than the bundles of nerves that is mom sitting next to him. 

DS wasn't a super timid driver, but I wanted him to have as much time behind the wheel as possible before he went out there alone. When I grew up, kids could get permits at age 14 to drive with a parent. That is not legal in CT, but I took him out to deserted large parking lots in our town starting at that age. We did a lot of slow driving forwards, slow reversing, circles, turning and parking.

Once he was legally able to get a permit, we enrolled him in drivers' ed and I consider it money well spent, not just for the insurance savings. I also did a lot of driving around town with him at the wheel. As an added bonus, this was a great time for mother-son bonding.

I think postponing it won't help. The way to get over fears is to challenge them, not avoid them and watch them magnify. I would say that if you get very nervous driving with your son, I would definitely enroll him in DE. A parent losing their shit on the road isn't a great way to start. I lose my shit at little things but am strangely calm about stuff like this. I can only really recall two incidents that were hair-raising, and only hit the invisible brakes a few times.

However, that ratio of classroom time and behind the wheel time seems disproportionate. Maybe I just can't remember four years ago, but it seems he had more driving time than that. Good luck!

Oh, I would get one of those Student Driver signs off Amazon. The worst experience of all was the tailgaters who were really insufferable. And we were doing the speed limit. The sign seemed to moderate the tailgating, or at least helped people understand why we had the nerve to do just the speed limit.

YIKES! I know it did not cost anywhere near that, if it cost anything at all here in our district. I am still thinking it did not cost me anything. This would have been in the 2007-2011 time frame, so I am sure things change
I'm pretty sure they had to take Driver's Ed, in order to get their school permit to drive at age 14.5.  They also got a good insurance discount - but the insurance didn't really go up on them until they turned 16.  
But school permits were at the Superintendent's discretion.  For a long time, they wouldn't sign off on a school permit if you lived within a mile of the school.  I think they sign off on them all now, if you pass Drivers Ed. 


My kids were all able to take college level/credit classes through our school district at no cost to us at all. No book fee, no 'credit hour' fee - nothing. All three of my kids went into Iowa State as sophomores, and had all their Gen Ed classes done and more. This was a pretty major cost savings on the tuition bills for us. It did not count to their cumulative GPA though - so they had to work hard to keep that up high. Since the 'easy' classes for them were done.

One kids' first math class in college (Engineering major) was Calc 3. Another one didn't have to take any math classes at all, since he had completed all the college level math he needed, in high school (non math/STEM college major).